Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Some Poly People Cuddle, But…

A UK poly person explains an ordeal of dealing with sensationalistic media poorly portraying polyamory.

As an accidental activist, one of the things I've learned over the past couple of years is that a lot of people out there are just grateful for anything that brings polyamory to their attention, making it clear that there is an alternative way to have relationships, even if the medium is some stupid chat show. And as someone who can afford to be out, I figure it's my duty to be just as out as possible.

Since neither filming people dating or living together on an ongoing basis, nor having group sex will work well for a one-shot television piece, the producers of the television show set up a... cuddle party as a metaphor.

They asked more and more leading and disinguous questions about the sexual things that they thought a cuddle party might turn into. Because it’s people cuddling! It has to be sexual right? Makes me wonder how boring these people must find their own sex lives that they have to make them up for other people. Sure, we’re poly. We have plenty of sex, with our existing partners. We don’t need to have parties for that.

I’m usually a pretty good sport, but they managed to push it way too far, far too often. I stopped the interview several times to interject “that’s nothing to do with poly", and to put my foot down when we were being asked to perform for the camera in ways that were totally unnatural. Hm... I wonder if that’s why I wasn’t called back to do that interview after all?

The blogger offers these links for better information about polyamory…

I have some good links over there on the right side of the blog. The blogger concludes with this advice to poly people about dealing with the media...

A wise friend put it this way: "If you've got a story, go to the press. If they have come to you, they've already got a story & want to fit you in/up." My suggestion: write it yourselves.

Realistic, positive information on polyamory will advance our cause. Misleading portrayals can roll it back.
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