Lies and Damned Lies About Polygamy

[Note: I am bumping up this previous entry because it is as relevant as ever. Polygamy is not something to escape from, fear, or prosecute. Abusive people are. Polygamy doesn't harm women, children, or teen boys, abusers do. The same goes for monogamy.]

Good ol’ tool of anti-equality forces, Professor Joe Henrich of the University of B.C., is back in the news. This article comes with a picture of Bountiful, B.C. (which is NOT the picture shown here) along with this text…

New research says that polygamy, which is practiced in Bountiful, B.C., leads to increased crime.

Right. Everyone avoids driving near Bountiful because of the high crime rate.

Prof. Joe Henrich found that when rich men take more than one wife, it leaves a deficit of women leading to increased fighting and competition for the remaining women.

Got that? You non-wealthy or unmarried guys are just a bunch of criminals.

Henrich is taking about women as though they have no minds of their own and are nothing but property, akin to cars.

Rich men can “take” more than one woman, marriage or not. Shall we ban all nonmonogamy? Or, since it might lower the crime rate according to this line of thinking, shall we require a woman to find an unmarried man and keep him busy so he won’t go around being a violent criminal?

"You have low-status men who are desperate for resources," said Henrich, a professor in the departments of psychology and economics. "More polygamy leads to a greater proportion of unmarried men, which leads to increased crime."

How does Henrich explain “low status” men who marry a woman and support her decision to not earn income as she tends to the children or earn less income than she and their children will spend? Wouldn’t it make sense, in Henrich’s view, for such men to never marry and have children, so as to be less “desperate for resources?”

Henrich and his co-authors studied societies where polygamy is prevalent, trying to discover the consequences.

Did they also conclude that polygamy causes high amounts of melanin?

"The scarcity of marriageable women in polygamous cultures increases competition among men for the remaining unmarried women," said Henrich. "The greater competition increases the likelihood men in polygamous communities will resort to criminal behaviour to gain resources and women."

I wonder why the article doesn’t cite examples?

I also wonder how much funding for this, or how much of Henrich’s pay, comes from the very government that has banned the polygamous freedom to marry and is actively attacking polygynous families?

We’ve already debunked all of this here, here, here, here, here, and here. We will need many more dung beetles to clear this pile up.

An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults. These excuses to deny full marriage equality are flimsy masks that fail to hide festering bigotry.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16

“Some men will be left out as polygyny increases.” This is based on the assumption that in a culture with gender equality, polygyny would still be more plentiful than polyandry. Anti-equality people, based on this assumption, insist that this will result in unmarried men devolving into criminals.

The mistake here is assuming that the second, third, etc. wives in a polygynous marriage would have wanted one of those unmarried men rather than legally sharing the man they did marry, and that the unmarried men would in turn want to marry them. Some of those men may want to marry men, or not marry at all. Why not allow people to marry the person or people of their choice? Why try to force people to settle? Also, the system is not closed. There are billions of people in the world and more and more people are reaching the age and status of eligibility every second.

There was a study attempting to link polygny to criminal behavior in unmarried/unpartnered men based in part on nineteenth century frontier America. Things have changed a little since then. And guess what? Married men commit crime, too. Most of the men in prison have been married, were married or had at least one girlfriend at the time they were convicted.

Maybe men in the hypothetical polygynous community who don’t get married are violent people. Is it better that they have a wife to beat instead of committing crimes on the street? I don’t want to be the one who tells a woman she can’t marry the man/men or woman/women she wants; rather, she has to marry a less desirable man so that he can take his aggression out on her.

The warnings that polyamorous or polygamous freedom to marry will result in an increase of violent gangs of unmarried men committing crimes falls flat when one considers the overwhelming data revealing both that 1) Men in the US are getting married for the first time later than ever, and 2) Crime rates in the US have decreased.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #17

Answering Arguments Against Polyamory

People who insist monogamy is the only acceptable relationship model, or that polyamorists should not have the same rights for their relationships as monogamists, almost always cite a few often-repeated reasons as to why. If you're polyamorous, you’ve probably heard most of these reasons, whether from coworkers, family, or complete strangers. Although I’m going to focus on polyamorous relationships, most of these are also applicable to open relationships, swinging, swapping, nonmonogamous sex, and ethical nonmonogamy in general whether the people involved identify as polyamorous or not.

Just about any objection people have to polyamory or other forms of ethical nonmonogamy fit into these common arguments, perhaps with different wording. Just so that you know, when I use the term “polygamy” I am referring to a subset of polyamory that involves marriage (whether by law, ceremony, or declaration of those involved), involving three or more spouses, whatever the structure of the relationship or the genders involved, as long as all involved are consenting adults.

1. “It is disgusting.” Also known as the “ick” or “eww” factor, this explains why the person using the argument would not want to have a polyamorous relationship, but their own personal disgust is not a justification for preventing other people from having a polyamorous relationship. Some people are disgusted by the idea of heterosexual sex, or their own parents having sex, but obviously this is not a justification to ban those things. Obviously, the consenting adults who want a polyamorous relationship aren’t disgusted by it. An effective response to this is “Don’t want a polyamorous relationship? Don’t have one.”

Polygamy and Public Assistance

I'm including a submission from a polygynist friend of FME. The following reflects his thoughts. I will make a brief comment at the end.

*****

Q: I would like more explanation of what the polygamist mindset is like, because to mono people it is so hard to understand. For example. As a mono person all I can imagine is that there is one guy who is fathering 20 or more children and the state ends up providing everything for the family because they can't manage on their own. I don't think that it is right for the state or taxpayers to have to take care of all the children that are born into these families. These so called families are just lazy and want a free ride from the rest of us.

Women Can Have Multiple Spouses, Too

Or, There’s More to Polygamy Than Polygyny

Women can enjoy multiple spouses, multiple husbands, multiple wives, multiple partners, multiple girlfriends, multiple boyfriends, and dating multiple people. A woman can love more than one person, have multiple ongoing romantic relationships, and have multiple ongoing sexual relationships.

Regular readers of this blog may find such statements to be obvious, but way too often, when I read or hear news or commentary about “polygamy,” what is meant is “polygyny” (one husband, multiple wives). Polyandry, meaning one wife with multiple husbands, has existed in tradition and still exists in modern relationships, and it is polygamy, too, as are spousal relationships between multiple women and multiple men, or three or more men, or three or more women.

This blog supports relationship rights for adults regardless of gender. A woman should be just as free as a man to marry more than one person, regardless of their genders or how closely related, and just as free as a man to not marry at all. or to leave a marriage.

Polyamory and Polygamy

Ethical Nonmonogamy Has Always Existed and Always Will

Ethical nonmonogamy has always existed and always will.

An adult should be free to have relationships, marriages, and sex with any and all consenting adults, without criminalization, bullying, or discrimination. There should be no laws against ethical nonmonogamy. For example, Utah has had a law criminalizing polyfidelity to try to eliminate plural marriage. It hasn't worked.

People should be free to live out the sexuality and relationships in which they best function, whatever form they take.

People should be free to have a polygamous marriage.

People should be free to have polyamorous relationships.

People should be free to have open marriages and other open relationships.

People should be free to participate in swinging.

People should be free to have threesomes and moresomes.

People should be free to engage in "swapping."

People should be free to have sex outside of marriage.

People should be free to live together in or outside of marriages, and free to stay with each other for any length of time.

There shouldn't be any laws against these things. Don't like these things? Don't do them!

Some people want monogamy, or no relationship or nor sex, and that's fine. But others should be allowed their own lives. There is no good reason to try to stop consenting adults from sharing the relationships and affections to which they've mutually agreed.

Ethical nonmonogamy might also be referred to as consensual nonmonogamy or disclosed nonmonogamy.

Polahi Tribe Enjoys Consanguinamory

At thejakartaglobe.com, this report about a tribe in the Gorontalo Forest was filed under "Odd News." Not that some people insult the customs of others, or anything.

The Polahi nomadic tribe living in isolation in the forest of Indonesia’s Gorontalo province practices incest, permitting relationships between father and daughter or mother and son, a report said in Jakarta on Wednesday.

There's not a people group on the planet in which consensual incest doesn't take place. The difference is, it is usually kept in the closet these days. With this tribe, the relationships are official.

The tribe roams the thick forest of Humohulo in the Boliyohuto mountain range of Boalemo district in Gorontalo on Sulawesi island.

It is considered normal if a father marries his daughter or a son marries his mother.

The former head of the tribe, Baba Manio, who died in April, had two wives, Mama Tanio and Hasimah.

So in addition to consanguinamory, they also have polyamory, even if only a polygynous form. I'm curious to know if any of them practice polyandry and how they treat LGBT members of the tribe.

Babuta, the son of Mama Tanio and Baba Manio, replaced his father. Babuta is married to his sister Lailya, who is the daughter of Baba Manio and Hasimah.

So he's married to his half-sister. This is very much like the leaders of ancient Egypt and much more recently, Hawaii, as well as many nations and people groups.

Marriage rites are also simple, with the couple taken to a river and water thrown on both of them while mantras are read out.

Kompas online quoted photographer Ebbi Vebri Adrian, who often has contact with the tribe, as saying that despite their intermarriage, the tribe did not appear to suffer from the genetic deterioration usually associated with the practice.

“What is strange is that none of their descendents appeared handicapped, as is usual with intermarriages,” he said.

It's a matter of genes, diet, and environment. If those things are all good, the children from these relationships are likely to be healthy. The communal and familial bonds are no doubt quite strong as well. I'd be interested if they know how many generations back they have been doing this, and other sociological results of their relationships. Maybe we can learn something from them, whether from a biological perspective or sociological.

In many US states and some other countries, it would be illegal for the leader of this tribe, if visiting, to have sex with his wife. If his father had visited, one, if not both of his wives would be insulted by a denial of the recognition of their marital status. That's just one of many reasons we need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later.

Will Utah Become Less Hateful?

Utah, like every US state, needs relationship rights and full marriage equality for all adults. Unfortunately, Utah has been one of the worst of the states, going so far as to criminalize polyfidelity.

Change might be on the way, however. From thehill.com...

A bill that would effectively decriminalize polygamy among consenting adults in Utah was unanimously endorsed by a state Senate committee this week, sending the legislation to the full chamber for a vote, The Salt Lake City Tribune reported. 

The Utah Senate Judiciary, Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Committee pushed the bill through after hearing testimony from those who said current state law labels law-abiding citizens as criminals.

Let adults have the relationships to which they mutually agree.

Can You Marry Your Brother-In-Law?

That was a search that brought someone to this blog.

What is a brother-in-law?

There is more than one way to have a brother-in-law.

1) He could be your spouse's brother.

2) He could have married your sibling.

3) Some people would call a man who is married to their spouse's sibling their brother-in-law. For example, if I was married to a woman and her sister (who would be my sister-in-law) was married to a man, I might refer to him as my brother-in-law.

4) Similar to 3, someone might think of their sibling's spouse's brother as their brother-in-law. Your sibling's spouse is definitely your brother-in-law or sister-in-law. Their brother could thus be called your brother-in-law.

Unless "in-law" is being used figuratively or in the sense of number 4, it means you and/or he are married. In most places where English is the predominant language, people can still only be legally married to one person at a time. Where someone can only be legally one person at a time, the only way you can "marry your brother-in-law" is by being unmarried and marrying the person described in number 4.

PSA: Polyandry is a Form of Polygamy

Far too many people refer to polyandry as the "opposite" of polygamy. Or people will say "Polygamy and polyandry..."

Polygamy is marriage or marriages between three or more people, regardless of gender.

Polyandry is marriage to multiple men.

Polygyny is marriage to multiple women.


So...


Polyandry is a form of polygamy.

Polygyny is a form of polygamy.

Polygamy has many forms. It can be three people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be four people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be one person, regardless of gender, with concurrent marriages to two, three, four, or more people, regardless of genders.

If everyone involved is a consenting adult, then polygamy in any form can be considered a form of polyamory, which itself is a form of ethical nonmonogamy.

This link and this link might help explain.

Searches That Bring People Here

Below are some searches that have brought people to this blog recently. Searches are often written as questions. If you have questions, you can always submit them by commenting below (you can comment anonymously, if you'd like). You can also email questions to fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

We also get a lot of searches for questions directly answered by entries in our FAQ tag. But let's take a look at some of the search phrases and see if we can share some helpful information.

do sisters experiment with each other

Yes. Sisters do experiment and explore with each other. Some do it while young, some of them never stop, and some start later in life. Some sisters go on to have spousal style relationships with each other. It is very common for sisters to experiment with each other while young if they are close in age.

If you are a sister experimenting with your sister, know that you're not alone. This has gone on for literally all of human history and you know others who are doing the same.

can dr. find out mom is incest pregnant

DNA tests are possible, and from those tests, it may be possible to determine if the pregnant person conceived with a close relative; especially if your mom's DNA is also tested. Some of the tests carry medical risks and a pregnant woman can decline them. Medical privacy laws might be overtaken by "mandatory reporting" laws in a specific location, so if you are where sex is illegal between you, don't admit to engaging in such affection.

If you are looking forward to a baby, congratulations to you. Most children born to close relatives are healthy. I'd welcome an email from you.

adult siblings arouse each other

This is much more common than people think. Intentional or not, sometimes siblings arouse each other.

us supreme court rules brother sister marriage

Unfortunately, this is not yet a real story. It was something that made some ripples, but it isn't real. Not yet.

Can step siblings marry

Laws vary from place to place, but in general, I do believe the answer is yes. It is very important to know who stepsiblings are. If "Person A" has a parent who has married the parent - who isn't Person A's parent - of "Person B," Person A and Person B are stepsiblings. This is not to be confused with half siblings, who share a genetic parent.

If you want to marry your stepsibling, congrats on your love and we wish you the best. Please feel free to get in contact.

playing doctor with brother or sister

This is very, very common. It isn't necessarily a sign that there is a problem, as long as no coercion or injury is involved. Most such siblings aren't consanguinamorous post-puberty, although some are.

people who married their aunts

In the US, "aunt" can formally mean:

1) Your parent's sister
2) Your parent's sibling's spouse

Informally, she can be:

3) a more distant relative, or a friend of your parents or family.

Where someone can only be married to one person at a time, number 2 is not possible unless there has been a divorce or death Most US states have laws against number 1. There's no law, but often prejudices, against number 3. However, involvement with an aunt is common enough that everyone knows someone who is or has been. If you've found happiness with your aunt, good for you! It would be great to hear from you via email.

middle age mom in love with her brother

This does happen. Whether it's been an enduring state or a recent development, there are middle aged mothers in love with a brother. Sometimes, after someone has been through relationships and even marriages, they realize that the person they want most is their own sibling. There are also "reunion GSA" situations in which a long-lost (half) sibling is discovered. Being in love is very common in such situations.

If you're in or know about such a situation, I'd welcome contact from you.

mature siblings incest

You're never too old to enjoy consanguineous affection if you mutually agree, even if you have no history of doing so. Are you involved? Again, your emails are welcome.

are polygamy wives bisexual

Of course there are women in polygamous marriages who are bisexual in orientation. Polygamy means being married to more than one person, regardless of gender. It could be a woman married to a man and a woman. What the person doing that search probably meant was whether or not there are women in traditional, polygynous marriages (meaning, women who are married to the same man) who are also having sex with each other. Many people in traditional polygynous marriages are members of a religion that might officially oppose being LGBTQ, but whether or not that's the case, some of the wives in such marriages are bisexual in orientation. Some might be closeted lesbians. There is sex going on between some of them, and that has always happened.

If you're in such a marriage, please email me to talk about it.

This last one is a bit sexually explicit, so if you don't want to read something sexually explicit, move on!

Why Polygyny Should Be Legalized

Polygyny should be legalized because the freedom of association, including the right to marry, is a basic human right and marriage equality means an adult having the freedom to marry any and all consenting adults.

An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Adults should be free to love each other how they mutually agree.

There is no good reason to deny the civil rights of polygynous people or deny their relationships equality. In the US, it is unconstitutional to deny people these rights.

Some people thrive the most within polygynous relationships. Polygyny isn't for everyone, but some people enjoy polygyny.

Polygyny means having more than one wife; as such, it is a form of polygamy (indeed, many people make the mistake of thinking the terms are synonymous). There are many places in the world where such relationships are traditional. There are relationships all over the world that function this way. Sometimes they are called "plural marriages" or simply marriage.

Fortunately, polygynous-style relationships aren't criminalized in general in most countries that don't require all relationships be functionally monogamous, even though it is illegal in places like the US and the UK to register as having more than one wife at the same time. It many places, it is legal to discriminate against people who are in polygynous relationships.

Lets make full marriage equality happen sooner rather than later, so that anyone who wants a polygynous relationship (or a polyandrous relationship, for that matter) will be truly free to have one, and marry if they want. And remember, gender equality is a necessary part of full marriage equality.

 Why Polyandry Should Be Legalized

Sister Wives is Back

Television's favorite polygynists are back for another season, which means a bunch of news articles for publicity. Typically, there's the speculation that someone is leaving their marriage. This time, crime is invoked as the headline for this inquisitr.com writeup by Bernadette Giacomazzo is "Sister Wives’ Rumors: The Brown Family Seen As ‘Felons’ By The State Of Utah"...

When Meri Brown, one of the better-known stars of Sister Wives, decided that she was going to open up a bed and breakfast in the state of Utah, she knew she was taking huge chances.

Aside from the standard concerns that every first-time business owner has about her new business, a new report suggests that she was concerned about her family being considered “felons” by the state.

It's ridiculous that any consenting adults would be criminalized or otherwise discriminated against for their relationships.

This shocking report comes courtesy of the Salt Lake Tribune, which suggests that Meri and the other stars of Sister Wives have been living in Las Vegas for the past seven years to avoid being prosecuted for polygamy.

Despite the notion that Utah — which has a large Mormon population — has made polygamy legal, the reality is, it’s just as illegal to be married to more than one person at the same time in Utah as it is to be married to more than one person at the same time in any other state.

It's actually worse in Utah. Polyfidelity is criminalized.

The new season of Sister Wives begins on Sunday, January 14 on TLC. Check your local listings for the time and channel.

Do you watch the show? What do you think?

Every adult, regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

A Growing Family Denied Their Rights

People in polyamorous relationships are everywhere, as are people in consanguinamorous relationships, though consanguinamorists are usually closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. And sometimes, people in what amounts to a polyamorous consanguinamorous marriage are willing to be interviewed. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The people interviewed below should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed, persecuted, imprisoned, and stripped of their children if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights? Please note that as usual, names have been changed to prevent the innocent from being persecuted.



*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourselves.

Tabitha: The three of us live together in a city in the UK at the moment, although ethnically, I am from Eastern Europe. I moved here as a child. I'm working in an office not far from our home.

My partners are a British couple, and while Natalie is a stay at home mother, John works at the same place as me.

They are the only siblings of their family, and I am an only child. They currently have a 7-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter and twin 1-year-olds. I'm pregnant with my first child, by John. John is 29. Natalie and I are both 27.

Throuple Appears on Talk Show

A throuple has been appearing in the media to discuss their family and a pregnancy. The video should be below, but it in case it isn't, it is at this link.


Families like this should be free to be together, and to have all of the adults legally married, if they is what they want, and they should be protected from discrimination. There is no reason this polyamorous family should be denied their rights. Congrats to them on their love and family!

Canada Should Let All Consenting Adults Marry if They Want To

Polygamy as a criminal matter is back on the news in Canada, and as a result, someone identified as Lee Harding of Coquitlam wrote a letter printed at vancouversun.com...

The idea that something that is otherwise immoral or even illegal in Canada becomes somehow acceptable if someone claims it as a religious tenet is ridiculous.

Consenting adults should be free to be together however they mutually agree. I'm sure most Canadians, if polled on that without inflammatory phrasing, would agree.

Something is immoral if it violates human rights.

Consenting adults loving each other hardly does that.

This includes forcing or coercing children into life-altering situations, such as early marriage; even worse, into polygamy.

Ahhhh... yes, well child abuse a completely different matter than consenting adults being together. Guilt by association is not fair.

True Religious Freedom Supports Full Marriage Equality

Jay Bookman at jaybookman.blog.ajc.com points out, given the controversy over recent "religious freedom" laws being passed in US states, that true religious freedom supports full marriage equality.

Under the First Amendment, government can’t pass laws that are intended to restrict religious liberty. Such laws are not at stake in this discussion. However, state and local laws that accidentally impinge on religious liberty — zoning laws, health and safety laws, etc., criminal statutes, laws against polygamy — have been allowed as long as those laws at least have a rational basis.

Under SB 129, however, a mere “rational basis” would no longer be sufficient. Laws that impinge accidentally on religious liberty would be allowed ONLY when those laws advance a “compelling governmental interest.”

Bookman points out the history of denying the polygamous freedom to marry.

Peter Nash Swisher, a national expert in family law and a professor at the University of Richmond Law School, has looked at the issue and is very dubious about whether such a compelling interest can be found. With recent Supreme Court decisions combined with state and federal RFRAs, ” … proponents of polygamous marriage now have, in my opinion, a very strong case for validating polygamous marriages on cultural, religious, and constitutional grounds.

As Swisher notes, the Old Testament is full of instances of polygamy, and the Muslim faith allows a man to have as many as four wives. Martin Luther, the founder of Protestantism, “observed that polygamy does not contradict Scripture, and so cannot be prohibited by Christianity.”

There are ordained ministers ready and eager to perform same-gender weddings, polyamorous weddings, polygamous weddings, and consanguinamorous weddings. If a state truly wants to support religious freedom, it will support full marriage equality.

An Extensive Interview With a Polyamorous Man

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below is, and was, clearly able to consent to his relationships. Along with his spouse, he should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry another spouse, yet they are denied this right could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love for another. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In Utah, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love. In any US state and many countries, they would violate the law if they filed another marriage license with another spouse.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say. You may think his relationships are shocking, interesting, or you might find them to be ideal, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

This is one of the longest interviews this blog has featured, as our subject has much to share. If you're curious about polyamory or plural marriage, you'll find much insight herein.

(PLEASE NOTE that our interview subject has chosen "Cowboy" as a pseudonym. This relates to his profession, and is in no way referencing the "cowboy" term used in polyamory and ethical nonmonogamy communities.)


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Cowboy: As you drive to my house you will leave the city and drive down a rural road passed many beautiful homes until you end up at my ranch. Like my name suggests, I am a rancher. And for those of you that don’t know what the life of a rancher is, it’s quite simple. I go to work when its dark and I come home from work when it’s dark. I work no matter what the weather is like. But I prefer the sunny days the most.

I haven’t always been a rancher or always lived in the country. I went to school and got an Electronics Engineering degree and worked for some of the biggest companies in the U.S. making more money then I knew what to do with. I was single at the time and loved it. Well. No. The truth is that I loved the money. The only problem was I never spent any of it because I lived at work. I would eat all my meals, shower and sleep at work. It wasn’t my choice, of course. It was because I was on call all the time. I never had a day off. I was like a robot.

But I realized that I didn't have a life. So I decided to change careers and went into construction. Have you ever been in a Home Depot? How about a Staples? I have built so many different things, from Home Depot to Staples to mansions. But the same thing happened. I would just travel the country building places for everyone else to enjoy.

I realized that I wanted to have a family. But not just have a family. I wanted to be there for my family no matter what. That why I got into ranching. It was because I wanted a family and to be there for them. Besides ranching, I have written about a lot of things including polyamory. I am currently working on two books. One is about polygamy and the other is a book which is part of a program to help children overcome mental health issues like anxiety without medication. I’m constantly pouring over medical information.

I am 5'10" with brown hair and hazel eyes. If I wear green clothes my eyes turn green. If I wear brown clothes they turn brown. I’m Spanish, Cherokee Indian, with some Irish in me, all of which are very important to me. My heritage means the world to me and I want to pass it on.

I try my best to stay grounded and connected to what really matters to me. But if it helps you understand things, I have sacrificed so my children won’t ever have to worry about anything. If you see me around it will be in a pair of nice jeans and shirt.

I have eight brothers and sisters. Well, actually, seven. One of my brothers died a few years back. I have two small baby boys and one on the way. I am also married to a wonderful girl who loves me. For the life of me, I don’t know why. Kidding. I live with my pregnant wife and our boys.

I love nature and the outdoors. If you ever want to find me, start there.

Technicality Leaves Discriminatory Utah Law Intact For Now

Since the Browns of "Sister Wives" haven't yet been prosecuted under Utah's ridiculous law against polyfidelity (they fled to Nevada), the US Supreme Court isn't taking up their case. Here's the report from Nate Carlisle at sltrib.com...

(Jerry Henkel | The Associated Press) Kody Brown sits with his wives in July at one of their homes in Las Vegas. They are the polygamist family featured on TLC’s "Sister Wives" program. Pictured are: top row, Janelle, left, and Christine; bottom row, Meri, left, Kody and Robyn.

The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday declined to hear arguments from the husband and four wives who star in the television show “Sister Wives,” letting stand a lower court ruling that kept polygamy a crime in Utah.

The law needs to go, sooner rather than later. Until it is gone, people need to protect themselves, as ethical nonmonogamists should do anywhere.

Another Round of Polygamy Bashing

A trial of some people from Bountiful, B.C., Canada brings with it attaching negative associations to the word "polygamy" even though the actual problem is not voluntary relationships between consenting adults.

For example, there's this report by Daphne Bramham at vancouversun.com that is headlined "Evidence all in at trial of B.C. polygamous parents charged with trafficking their daughters." Why are the parents identified as "polygamous?" In how many articles do you ever see people on trial identified as "monogamous?" The problem here is alleged child abuse, not polygamy between consenting adults.

The trial of three parents from the polygamous community of Bountiful, B.C. charged with trafficking their 13- and 15-year-old daughters to U.S. for sexual purposes wraps up next week with final arguments.

"Polygamous community." Are there "monogamous communities?" We weren't aware towns married. Are sister cities allowed to marry?

That there are polygynous adult marriages is not nearly as important to what is going on as the fact that these people belong to a certain small religious group with an authoritarian leader who orchestrated the events in question, and the real issue is the abuse of children. Would it be any less of a problem if the minor girls were each being "married" off to a different older man rather than multiple girls to one man?

The headline to Bramham's article at montrealgazette.com was a little better, but "Obedience to prophet paramount in polygamous community, trial told" still calls it a "polygamous community." This is exactly why so many people who want ethically nonmonogamous marriages avoid using the term polygamy, even though that's the term for a marriage or marriages involving more than two people.

It is important not to lump ethically nonmonogamous people in with child abuse. We advocate for the rights of all consenting adults to their relationships, including polygamy, if that's what they want. We oppose child abuse and maintain that full marriage equality for all will actually help fight child abuse.