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Thursday, January 18, 2018

A "Where Are They Now" Update

There has been ongoing interest in a post to this blog with the title "Where Are They Now?"

The post is about a series of "adult" videos claiming to feature people who are in consanguinamorous relationships. The quality and the content of the videos had an "amateur" feel to it. A recent comment purports to give an update on a couple featured in one of the videos after speculation that they were not really a consanguinamorous couple...

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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Clearing Up Consanguinity

Many people get confused about terms like "second cousins" and "once removed" when referring to close but not-so-close relations. Your parent's sibling's child is your first cousin. That person's child would be your first cousin, once removed. That person's child and your child would be second cousins.

Here's a helpful chart that can help explain it.



Source: http://www.sanantonio.gov/atty/ethics/ConsanguinityChart.htm

Remember, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with, dating, or even marrying a cousin. Consanguineous relationships and marriages are nothing new. There are some countries and a little over half of US states where the bigotry against marriage equality extends to preventing first cousins from marrying, but there are many places where marrying a first cousin is legal and common. I'm only aware of a few US states where sex between first cousins is technically illegal, so check the laws of your state if you are concerned. It should be searchable on your official state website.


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Monday, January 15, 2018

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16


“Some men will be left out as polygyny increases.” This is based on the assumption that in a culture with gender equality, polygyny would still be more plentiful than polyandry. Anti-equality people, based on this assumption, insist that this will result in unmarried men devolving into criminals.

The mistake here is assuming that the second, third, etc. wives in a polygynous marriage would have wanted one of those unmarried men rather than legally sharing the man they did marry, and that the unmarried men would in turn want to marry them. Some of those men may want to marry men, or not marry at all. Why not allow people to marry the person or people of their choice? Why try to force people to settle? Also, the system is not closed. There are billions of people in the world and more and more people are reaching the age and status of eligibility every second.

There was a study attempting to link polygny to criminal behavior in unmarried/unpartnered men based in part on nineteenth century frontier America. Things have changed a little since then. And guess what? Married men commit crime, too. Most of the men in prison have been married, were married or had at least one girlfriend at the time they were convicted.

Maybe men in the hypothetical polygynous community who don’t get married are violent people. Is it better that they have a wife to beat instead of committing crimes on the street? I don’t want to be the one who tells a woman she can’t marry the man/men or woman/women she wants; rather, she has to marry a less desirable man so that he can take his aggression out on her.

The warnings that polyamorous or polygamous freedom to marry will result in an increase of violent gangs of unmarried men committing crimes falls flat when one considers the overwhelming data revealing both that 1) Men in the US are getting married for the first time later than ever, and 2) Crime rates in the US have decreased.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #17
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Sunday, January 14, 2018

Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the US, Monday is a holiday, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. He was a giant in the fight for civil rights.



Many decades after he was assassinated, the fight for civil rights continues.

History is on our side. All consenting adults will be free to exercise their rights to share love, sex, residence, and marriage.

Are you like those who kept trying to keep some people second-class citizens, or are you like the people who marched with King?
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Saturday, January 13, 2018

New to This Blog or Looking to Find Out More?

We support the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any other union offered by law), and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. These are basic human rights and it shouldn't matter who is disgusted by the relationships of other adults or who doesn't understand why the adults would want to be together.

If you're viewing the desktop/laptop version, you'll see that over there in the column on the right you can find ways to connect and to follow this blog, and at the top of the page are tabs with drop-downs of some important pages, entries, and links. If you're viewing a mobile version, many of the links are below.

You are welcomed and affirmed here regardless of your gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities, and whether you are looking for more information, are in the closet or out about your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship, or want to be an ally. Are you here because of polyamory or polygamy? Perhaps you're here because this blog covers Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory (consensual incest) or because you think or know your partner has been involved? Do you need help? Whether you're a family member or friend who is looking for more information, or a journalist, or are someone who is looking to help the cause, we hope you are helped by what is here.

There's an About This Blog page, and you can read about the triad who originally inspired this blog.

There's a Glossary so that you can become familiar with terms frequently used here.

We explain why we need solidarity in supporting full marriage equality and we debunk all the arguments that you'll ever hear made against equality, so if you're against equal rights, please carefully read through that page.

On the Case Studies page we feature interviews with people who have been denied their rights, so you can "meet" people who are, or have been, in consensual loving relationships who have are harmed by the lack of equality under the law.

This blog is a labor of love. There's no advertising and we don't accept monetary contributions. Want to help? Spread the word. If you are a lawyer, attorney, or someone who works with a legal group or law firm, we'd like to hear from you if you are supportive. Also, this blog DOES accept content submissions (Keith can be contacted at... fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com), but makes no offer, implicit nor explicit, of compensation nor guarantees that it will be used. If you want to tell your story, that would be very helpful to others!

Tell us what you think by commenting or by contacting us.

Join our Facebook group "I Support Full Marriage Equality."

Keith wants to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Be Facebook friends with Keith.

Follow the Twitter account for this blog.

Follow the Tumblr blog for Full Marriage Equality

The Final Manifesto is another excellent blog.

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send Keith a note at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Myths about Genetic Sexual Attraction
Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory
Bad Reasons to Deny Love
Ten Reasons Why Consensual Incest is Wrong (Sarcastic) 



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Friday, January 12, 2018

Sister Wives is Back

Television's favorite polygynists are back for another season, which means a bunch of news articles for publicity. Typically, there's the speculation that someone is leaving their marriage. This time, crime is invoked as the headline for this inquisitr.com writeup by is "Sister Wives’ Rumors: The Brown Family Seen As ‘Felons’ By The State Of Utah"...
When Meri Brown, one of the better-known stars of Sister Wives, decided that she was going to open up a bed and breakfast in the state of Utah, she knew she was taking huge chances.
Aside from the standard concerns that every first-time business owner has about her new business, a new report suggests that she was concerned about her family being considered “felons” by the state.
It's ridiculous that any consenting adults would be criminalized or otherwise discriminated against for their relationships.

This shocking report comes courtesy of the Salt Lake Tribune, which suggests that Meri and the other stars of Sister Wives have been living in Las Vegas for the past seven years to avoid being prosecuted for polygamy.
Despite the notion that Utah — which has a large Mormon population — has made polygamy legal, the reality is, it’s just as illegal to be married to more than one person at the same time in Utah as it is to be married to more than one person at the same time in any other state.
It's actually worse in Utah. Polyfidelity is criminalized.
The new season of Sister Wives begins on Sunday, January 14 on TLC. Check your local listings for the time and channel.
Do you watch the show? What do you think?

Every adult, regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
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Thursday, January 11, 2018

GSA and Stepping Out

Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) can prompt cheating in relationships that otherwise would never have cheating. So if you’re reading this because you’ve cheated on a partner with your GSA contact, or because your partner may have cheated on you with their GSA contact, please keep that in mind.

This blog endorses ethical nonmonogamy as no less valid and respectful than monogamy. Your blogger is polyamorous himself, but supports the rights of adults regardless of his own personal orientation and interests, including people who want monogamy.

This blog does not endorse cheating on a sexual, romantic, or spousal partner (which can happen in monogamous or polyamorous relationships), but also doesn’t endorse criminal punishment for cheating.

I don’t consider cheating to be egregious when it is to get some relief from a spouse or partner who has seriously broken vows or agreements by being abusive, neglectful, etc. Ideally, people would leave relationships in which they are being neglected or rejected, but that isn’t always possible or the best solution for a variety of reasons.

Relationships, especially marriages, can be very complicated. For example, it is easy for outsiders to see a married woman flirting with someone behind her husband’s back, and think less of her for doing so, but what those outsiders don’t see is that her husband barely interacts with her in private and refuses to even touch her and yet he wants her to go without affection and intimacy with others. Not wanting to break up the home of her young children before they are grown, she stays, and seeks comfort with others. Of course this kind of relationship situation happens regardless of genders.

In general, someone who is happy in a healthy relationship and is not deficient in their self-control will not cheat. However, when it comes to Genetic Sexual Attraction, someone who is in a happy relationship or would otherwise never cheat (not with a coworker, not with a neighbor, not with a former partner, not with anyone) may not withstand the dynamics involved, and may cheat as a result. If their relationship was already terminally ill, or experiencing serious problems, then keeping mutual GSA nonsexual is that much less likely.

GSA is usually overwhelming, and bonds formed in its caldera can become especially strong.

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Wednesday, January 10, 2018

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15


“This oppresses women.” Gender equality and the right to be unmarried or to divorce are necessary components of full marriage equality. Anti-equality people often point to polygyny in certain cultures, past and present, where women do not have equal rights. However, this is not proof that polygyny, much less the larger scope of polygamy or polyamory, oppresses women. Women would be oppressed in those cultures with or without polygyny. If a woman wants to marry a man who has other wives rather than another man who is an unmarried man, and the other wives agree, why deny her that choice? If a woman wants to marry two men, or a man and a woman, or two women, she should have that right, too. Some women enjoy polygamy, including polygyny, and they should have the right to consent to the marriage of their choosing.

The law does not prevent a man from having relationships with, and children with, multiple women, but he can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. The law does not prevent a woman from having relationships with, and children with, multiple men, but she can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. Three people can have a loving, lasting triad, living together for years and years, but can't legally marry. What kind of sense is that?

Protections against gender discrimination, domestic violence, and child abuse should be the focus, not preventing consenting adults from marrying. Victims of abuse would be more likely to work with authorities to stop abusers if consensual relationships were not criminalized nor discriminated against.
 
There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #14

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16 
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Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Discovering Consanguinamory in the Family Tree

I am [or, had been] active on [a certain Big Online Portal's question and answer service], especially when it comes to explaining the importance of relationship rights, full marriage equality, and decriminalizing consanguinamory. Someone had this question...

Family Tree Concerns..?
My Grandfather recently passed away and my Grandmother told us all that her and my Grandfather were never married, they had always celebrated an anniversary (or so we thought,) but didn't understand while she waited till he died before telling us. After further research into my family tree I have discovered that my Grandmother married her Uncle (is this incest!?!), my Mother feels all weird because it feels like her life has been a lie and the only person she could have asked and got a proper answer was her Dad but now he's gone so we are both just looking for some advice or if anyone has been or is going through a similar situation...
This was my answer, which was chosen as the best answer (thankyouverymuch)...
= = = =
Here's what matters: Was your grandfather a good person? A good spouse to your Grandmother? A good parent? A good grandparent? THAT is what matters, not any genetic or legal relation to your grandmother. There's no lie about any of that. Your mother's life is no different now than it was before she knew that information. She's just allowing cultural prejudices to influence her reaction. Your grandparents had what is called a common-law marriage. As long as they were good to each other, that is what matters.

You didn't make it clear, but it appears you mean your grandfather was the brother of one of your grandmother's parents (he would still be an "uncle" to her if he had, at one time, been married to one of your grandmother's parents' sisters without any biological relation to your grandmother). Assuming there was a genetic connection (though it is possible he had been adopted into the family, too), that is still no reason for alarm. This is much more common than people think. People are finding out about this through DNA testing and family records, although family records don't always reveal the truth. If you go back further, it is virtually guaranteed you'll find you have consanguineous ancestors.

You don't have to go too far back in anyone's family tree to find these kinds of things. I doubt there is a person out there whose ancestry has nothing like this.

In other words.... you and your family are as normal as everyone else.
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Just about everyone has incestuous childbearing in their family tree. In some cases, someone was raped, which of course is a horrible, or there was cheating. In other cases, it was true love between people who were not cheating on anyone. If the law prevented them from legally marrying or from telling the truth, that is a problem, a terrible problem, of the law, and just one of many reasons we need full marriage equality. It is not something wrong with the lovers.
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They Would Marry If They Could

This blog does not endorse or encourage cheating. We strongly support ethical nonmonogamy. Even so, we know relationships of all sorts sometimes start as affairs and we're still interested in relationship dynamics for relationships that would be "forbidden" even if there was no cheating involved and never had been.

As common as consanguinamorous relationships are and how common they are to be closeted due to prejudice, it means some people will cheat to be in them. Aside from the ethical issues with cheating, it can be extremely risky when it comes to consanguinamory. While still illegal in many places, the vast majority of consanguinamorous lovers are never prosecuted. But when there is someone who is being cheated on, especially so close to the situation, that person may react to discovering the cheating by alerting authorities.


 Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law where they live, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Almost all of these interviews have not included cheating as part of the dynamic, though as you will see here, we;re willing to do such interviews.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally divorce her spouse and marry her lover, yet she can't, and she could be harassed, persecuted, and imprisoned if she and her lover were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may sympathize with her husband and be upset with her, or you may be in the same situation as her or her lover, or maybe you simply find this provocative. Whatever your reaction, I hope you'll see that laws criminalizing consensual (to be redundant) relationships and sex cause more problems than they could ever solve.

*****
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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background. 

Anonymous: I'm a 37-year-old, married mother of one son living in the UK. I work part time in a supermarket. I'm an only child

FME: You are in a sexual relationship with your son? Are you his biological mother?

Yes, he is my biological son and we have been involved in a sexual relationship for almost a year.

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Monday, January 8, 2018

GSA in Cinema

Reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction has always existed, but life as it is today now makes it more likely that someone could be raised apart from a close genetic relative and then introduced or reunited with that relative post-puberty. Although the term didn't exist when "The Last Sunset" was released in 1961, the movie contains what could be described at as a reunion GSA relationship.


My apologies if you consider this a spoiler, but the movie was released a while back!
The Last Sunset - Film Poster.jpg
The movie starred Rock Hudson as a lawman (Stribling) who is after a character portrayed by Kirk Douglas (O'Malley). O'Malley goes to the property of a former lover (now married to another man) and falls in love with her daughter. The gist of it is that it is eventually revealed the daughter is O'Malley's daughter. As a result, he faces Stribling with an unloaded gun so that he was doing what we call "suicide by cop." Because, you know, the way movies worked back then was that O'Malley had to be punished for the "sin" of falling in love with his genetic daughter.

I'm not sure how close the movie is to a novel from which it was adapted, but I suppose it would have been too much to ask that the lawman, rather than the outlaw, experience GSA. That probably would have been too scandalous.

I don't know about the rest of the cast, but of course what we know now is that Rock Hudson was a closeted gay man. Today, there are millions of people who are in the closet about their consanguinamorous orientation or their involvement in consanguinamory. A small percentage of them are people who did not know of their close genetic relation to someone until after falling in love with them. If they are disturbed by such a realization, it would be good for them to have trained, understanding therapists who are informed on the realities of these situations. For the time being, people can find help by reaching out to others.

It would also be great to see movies address GSA and consanguinamory without condemning adults for loving each other.
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Star Crossed Life is a Consanguinamory Blog

There are countless pornified blogs on Tumblr claiming to involve siblings in consanguinamorous relationships. It's always good to find a blog that focuses on a consanguinamorous relationship as more than merely sexual, and details life in general for someone who in such a relationship. Star Crossed Life is one of those, and I'm hoping to see the blog continue.
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