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Saturday, September 22, 2018

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15


“This oppresses women.” Gender equality and the right to be unmarried or to divorce are necessary components of full marriage equality. Anti-equality people often point to polygyny in certain cultures, past and present, where women do not have equal rights. However, this is not proof that polygyny, much less the larger scope of polygamy or polyamory, oppresses women. Women would be oppressed in those cultures with or without polygyny. If a woman wants to marry a man who has other wives rather than another man who is an unmarried man, and the other wives agree, why deny her that choice? If a woman wants to marry two men, or a man and a woman, or two women, she should have that right, too. Some women enjoy polygamy, including polygyny, and they should have the right to consent to the marriage of their choosing.

The law does not prevent a man from having relationships with, and children with, multiple women, but he can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. The law does not prevent a woman from having relationships with, and children with, multiple men, but she can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. Three people can have a loving, lasting triad, living together for years and years, but can't legally marry. What kind of sense is that?

Protections against gender discrimination, domestic violence, and child abuse should be the focus, not preventing consenting adults from marrying. Victims of abuse would be more likely to work with authorities to stop abusers if consensual relationships were not criminalized nor discriminated against.
 
There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #14

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16 
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Friday, September 21, 2018

This is How You Contact Keith

There are multiple ways to contact Keith, the person behind this blog.

1) Email is great! It is the best way. Keith's address is fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. It also works to contact Keith at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.

2) On the Wire messaging app: fullmarriageequality

3) On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fullmarriageequality

4) Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/FullMEquality - You can send Direct Messages.

5) There is a sister Tumblr to this blog. You can submit an "ask," including anonymously. You can also send a private message if you are signed in to a Tumblr account. If you submit an ask anonymously, you can't get a private response unless you provide an email address or a Facebook or Twitter or Wire or Tumblr account at which you can be reached. Say you want a private response if you don't want it published.

6) Comment here on this blog! You can comment after this entry (below) or any other entry, and you can do so anonymously if you'd like. Again, if you submit a comment anonymously, you can't get a private response unless you provide an email address or a Facebook or Twitter or Wire or Tumblr account at which you can be reached. Say you want a private response if you don't want your comment published. Comments have to be approved to be published, so you can write stuff you want Keith to see but you don't want published.


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Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Frequently Asked Question: Why Do Polyamorists Get Married?


The question is asked as though the person asking assumes that actual monogamy is a requirement for marriage. It isn’t in most places, even though current marriage laws will only allow monogamy in the legal sense.

For the purpose of this question and answer, I will include any form of honest nonmonogamy, or any label applied, such as open relationship, open marriage, swinging, swapping, polyamory, polyfidelity and polygamy.

Why do swingers get married?

Why do people in open relationships get married?

Why do polyamorous people get married?

The short answer is: For the same reason most other people get married. They want to get married, they think it is the best thing to do at that time in life, or they’re pressured.

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Monday, September 17, 2018

A Note From a Therapist

This was a comment left on the blog I wanted to highlight.
I am a psychotherapist who specializes in working with clients who struggle with "taboo" sexualized thoughts and behaviors. I'm currently working on research dealing with consensual familial intimate relationships. I offer online therapy as well as in-person and I accept most major insurance. I'm licensed in Georgia and Maryland. 
Keya Johnson, MSW, LCSW, CCTP, CSOTP 
therapist.keya@gmail.com

I communicated privately with this person and they do not discourage adults who are happily enjoying sexual relationships with other adults and everything along those lines stays private with them.

So please consider helping with the research, and if you need a therapist who won't automatically dismiss your relationships or desires, this may be someone for you.
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Sunday, September 16, 2018

Mothers, Sons, and Children

Someone asked at this blog's sister Tumblr about mothers and sons having children.
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NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #14


“What about insurance/employment benefits?” There are many simple ways to deal with this. It is dealt with when an employee has more kids than the next, isn't it? It is not a good reason to deny the polygamous freedom to marry or polyamorous relationship rights in general.. This is something the law and/or employers and unions can figure out.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #13 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15
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Friday, September 14, 2018

This Is Exciting: Risk and Reward

There's a new project that you should know about as a Friend of Full Marriage Equality. "Risk and  Reward" is an upcoming movie to which you can contribute. Even if you can't contribute monetarily right now, you can help get the word out.


Follow the movie on Twitter and  retweet them.

Like the movie's Facebook page and share what it posts.

It is critical to support projects like this. Visibility, representation, solidarity, and opening minds are all needed to secure the rights of all adults to love each other how they mutually agree.



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Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Can You Marry Your Brother-In-Law?

That was a search that brought someone to this blog.

What is a brother-in-law?

There is more than one way to have a brother-in-law.

1) He could be your spouse's brother.

2) He could have married your sibling.

3) Some people would call a man who is married to their spouse's sibling their brother-in-law. For example, if I was married to a woman and her sister (who would be my sister-in-law) was married to a man, I might refer to him as my brother-in-law.

4) Similar to 3, someone might think of their sibling's spouse's brother as their brother-in-law. Your sibling's spouse is definitely your brother-in-law or sister-in-law. Their brother could thus be called your brother-in-law.

Unless "in-law" is being used figuratively or in the sense of number 4, it means you and/or he are married. In most places where English is the predominant language, people can still only be legally married to one person at a time. Where someone can only be legally one person at a time, the only way you can "marry your brother-in-law" is by being unmarried and marrying the person described in number 4.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Your Son's Choice in Media Content

Someone recently found this blog searching "My son has started to view incest porn."

What does it mean that your son is viewing "incest porn"?

There is a wide variety of material that can fall under that category.

1. Are we talking about professionally produced videos, featuring unrelated actors, like the classic "Taboo" movies or the countless more recent offerings?

2. Are we talking about what appears to be amateur or "home made" material with people who purport to actually be related?

3. Are we talking about material that depicts assault/molestation?

The first two categories are wildly and widely popular. There are a lot of people who are watching that or material that portrays fauxcest/nearcest. (There are a lot of people who have actual experience, too.) We generally refer to that as consanguineous sex or consanguinamory to distinguish it from abuse or assault.

While category 3 isn't as popular, it still has a following and as long as we're talking about fiction with consenting actors, there isn't necessarily cause for concern. If he seems to be obsessed with abuse/assault he should probably see a mental health professional for an evaluation.

The rest of this entry will focus on a son who is watching something that falls into the first two categories, which depict consensual consanguineous sex.

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Monday, September 10, 2018

Tips For Switching to Polyamory

Quora is an excellent way ask and answer questions. I certainly recommend it over a certain Big Internet Portal That-Was-Just-Bought-by-a-Big-Telecom's Answers service. Somebody asked "What are some tips for people who are thinking about transitioning to being polyamorous?"

Before we move on to the answers, which you should check out in full by following the link above, it is important to note that for some people, they are polyamorous as who they are, just like they are left or right-handed. They are polyamorous whether they are in a relationship or not, or even if they are currently in a relationship with one person. For such people it is more a matter of becoming true to themselves. Other people can function well long-term in polyamorous relationships or monogamous relationships.

Franklin Veaux is always a good person to consult about polyamory. He is co-author of More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory...
Don’t expect that you can just try it and go back to the way things were if it doesn’t work for you. It will change things, even if you decide later to return to monogamy.
Yes it will.

Don’t imagine you can script how your “outside” relationships will develop or what they’ll look like. Other people are people, and people are complicated. Things will go in directions you didn’t expect. Theory and practice are the same in theory but different in practice. That’s okay. Cultivate an attitude of flexibility and resilience.
A person can decide what their boundaries are, but they can't decide for anyone else.
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