Is a Woman Unable to Consent to Marry Her Sibling?

[Bumping this up because it is still revelant.] I take the idea of consenting adults seriously. An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion should be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage (or any other legal union offered) with any and all consenting adults.

This does not mean I think any given person is a good match for any other person, or that they are treating each other right. It just means whether or not they have a relationship and what they do together should be up to them, not anyone else.

Our laws are inconsistent about this. A 22-year-old woman living below the poverty level can legally consent to sign a prenuptial agreement and legally marry a 60-year-old male billionaire. She can have sex with the President of the United States, who obviously has much more power than her. The law in many places allows her to marry a complete stranger. Also, in most places, she can legally live with and consent to sex with a man who has what amounts to a harem, or she can consent to group sex with several weightlifting champions she’s never met before, or an older man who’s been her next-door neighbor since she was born and babysat her throughout her childhood, and is now living on death row as a convicted murderer. That’s all legal. However, in many places she’s still barred from legally marrying another 22-year-old woman, and in even more places, she is still barred from having consensual sex with, let alone marrying a full or half sibling, even if they weren’t raised together. I have yet to hear a reason justifying such discrimination that withstands scrutiny.

Some tweets were directed to me by a thoughtful person questioning brother-sister marriage, and those tweets deserve responses longer than I could post there, so I’m putting my response here.

National Siblings Day

April 10 is National Siblings Day, at least here in the US. 

In keeping with the interests of this blog, we want to celebrate all people who love their siblings, especially if that includes supporting your sibling as they face discrimination for their gender identity,  their sexual or relationship orientations, or their relationships or sexuality.

We also want to celebrate all siblings in consanguinamorous relationships. For many of them, there is no more important person in the world than their sibling(s).

So if you have a good sibling, let them know you appreciate them.

Here's one of many interviews I've done with consanguinamorous siblings. There are more here.

If you have siblings or children or a parent or some other close relative or friends in such a sibling relationship, this is for you.

Sometimes middle-aged siblings experience a change in their relationship dynamic. Unfortunately, siblings are still denied their freedom to marry in most of the world.

Finally, there is some really wonderful, painfully realistic fiction about a sibling relationship.

Comment below or email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com if you have something you want to share about your sibling(s).

New to This Blog or Looking to Find Out More?

We support the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage (and any other union offered by law), and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. These are basic human rights under a system of gender equality and it shouldn't matter who is disgusted by the relationships of other adults or who doesn't understand why the adults would want to be together. Inherent in these rights is the right to NOT be in a relationship, NOT to marry, and to divorce or leave a relationship.

If you're viewing the desktop/laptop version, you'll see that over there in the column on the right you can find ways to connect and to follow this blog, and at the top of the page are tabs with drop-downs of some important pages, entries, and links. If you're viewing a mobile version, many of the links are below.

You are welcomed and affirmed here regardless of your gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities, and whether you are looking for more information, are in the closet or out about your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship, or want to be an ally. Are you here because of polyamory or polygamy? Perhaps you're here because this blog covers Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory (consensual incest) or because you think or know your partner has been involved? Do you need help? Whether you're a family member or friend who is looking for more information, or a journalist, or are someone who is looking to help the cause, we hope you are helped by what is here.

There's an About This Blog page, and you can read about the triad who originally inspired this blog.

There's a Glossary so that you can become familiar with terms frequently used here.

We explain why we need solidarity in supporting full marriage equality and we debunk all the arguments that you'll ever hear made against equality, so if you're against equal rights, please carefully read through that page.

On the Case Studies page we feature interviews with people who have been denied their rights, so you can "meet" people who are, or have been, in consensual loving relationships who have are harmed by the lack of equality under the law.

This blog is a labor of love. There's no advertising and we don't accept monetary contributions. Want to help? Spread the word. If you are a lawyer, attorney, or someone who works with a legal group or law firm, we'd like to hear from you if you are supportive. Also, this blog DOES accept content submissions (Keith can be contacted at... fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com), but makes no offer, implicit nor explicit, of compensation nor guarantees that it will be used. If you want to tell your story, that would be very helpful to others!

Tell us what you think by commenting or by contacting us.

Join our Facebook group "I Support Full Marriage Equality."

Keith wants to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Be Facebook friends with Keith.

Follow the X (Twitter) account for this blog.

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send Keith a note at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Myths about Genetic Sexual Attraction
Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory
Bad Reasons to Deny Love
Ten Reasons Why Consensual Incest is Wrong (Sarcastic) 

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #9

“They’re abusive.” Interracial, (adult) intergenerational, same-gender, polyamorous, and consanguinamorous relationships are not inherently abusive. It is the abusive relationships in general that are more likely to make news, or come to the attention of therapists or law enforcement. There are many people in "forbidden" relationships that are lasting, happy, healthy relationships.

Abusive people are the cause of abuse, not a relationship or marriage. There are many same-age, same-race, heterosexual, monogamous, nonconsanguineous relationships and marriages in which someone is abused. We have several examples showing that outlawing consensual behavior correlates to an increase in problems as people try to avoid law enforcement and other authorities. Marriage equality will most certainly reduce abuse, as abuse victims can go to the authorities with much less fear. So the solution isn’t the status quo, it is in bringing the relationships out of the shadows, allowing them to be protected and made official, and prosecuting abusers. Abuse victims will be much more forthcoming.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #8 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10

We Get Letters

This blog gets comments on many posts.

I wanted to print this comment here because I couldn’t publish it in its original form as I needed to redact a word.

I’m trying to keep things here as “safe for work” as possible, and certain combinations of letters prompt filters to kick in.

 

Left after this entry…

https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2016/12/it-runs-in-family.html

…was this comment:

My mother had a sexual relationship with her own biological father. She always said he was her favorite lover. Growing up she was in an open relationship with my father. She never hid her sexual relationship with her father.

Mom often talked about her father using her and he encouraged her to be free sexually.

When I was home from the navy she and I had a few drinks, I admitted that I wanted to make love to her. We did. It was awesome, loving, kinky.

She had a friend who was sexually active with her own son so we often hung out and often played together. Her friend’s son was thin but mom loved his big c—-.

Thank you for sharing that, Anonymous. Congratulations on your experiences.

Anyone can submit comments after entries on this blog. You can also email Keith at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Transgender Day of Visibility 2025

Monday, March 31 is Transgender Day of Visibility 

This year, this day is more important than ever. That seems to be true year after year.

Transgender people are diverse. There is no one right way to be trans.

Transgender people are everywhere. If you think you've never met a transgender person or shared a restroom with someone who is transgender, you're almost certainly wrong. You just didn't realize.

We want transgender people to know: You are welcome here. We see you. We care. We will continue to speak up for your rights.

If you're not transgender, pledge to be an ally to those who are.

It makes sense to have this day in the Spring season, which is associated with renewal and rebirth. 

No Time For Bigots

I’ve adopted a personal policy and I recommend it for anyone who supports rights for all.

I don’t have time for bigots.

Bigots will never stop the hate.

Time is wasted on them.

I save my time for helping lovers and those who want to be, helping allies, helping legitimate journalists, academics, and media producers, and the genuinely questioning, curious, confused, and uncertain. Is someone you know involved in consanguinamory and/or nonmonogamy, or some other relationship you don’t understand, and you’re not sure what to think, say, or do? Those are the people who will get my time.

In private communications, I’ll at least block bigots; maybe more.

If they leave a comment on this blog, I might analyze it in a post. If it’s devoid of any worthiness of response, it may simply get deleted. I’ll still analyze and counter bigotry I see in media. 

If they interact publicly on social media, I’ll only keep interacting if I think anyone, such as someone else observing, could benefit. Otherwise they’ll be ignored, muted, blocked; maybe reported, depending.

These ways might also be applied when someone in one community rejects solidarity with others. Throwing others under the bus isn’t acceptable. We must seek rights for all.

There is no good reason to deny people their basic rights to their identity, orientation, and the relationships to which they mutually agree, including full marriage equality.

The bigots will continue to shrink in numbers. Those who refuse to let go of bigotry will, more and more, find themselves keeping their prejudices to themselves, and eventually they will die out. More and more people will support rights for all.

You’re Not Alone - Reach Out

You are welcome to reach out to me. Although there are now, thankfully, many places for LGBTQ+ people and nonmonogamous people to find others and supportive people to talk with, it can still be difficult for people with consanguinamorous feelings or experiences to find someone to talk with.

Anyone can reach out to me, Keith, and I never share what someone tells me privately with anyone else unless you give me permission. Thousands of people have contacted me over the years. You can see for yourself how long this blog has been here.

One of the best ways to reach me is via email: fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. [Please note that if I will usually respond within a day or less, so if you you don’t see my response, check your spam or junk folder. If you still don’t see a response, try contacting me another way.]

Another great way is Wire messaging app: fullmarriageequality

I’m also in these places, where I can be sent private/direct messages: 

Facebook

X/Twitter

Reddit

Quora

I know there are many people who visit this blog who never reach out, and I understand. Thanks for visiting. Everyone is also welcome to comment, including anonymously, on posts here. You’re also welcome to write to me privately, even if just to say “hi.”

Sons and the Mothers Who Raised Them

Anonymous asked at this blog's sister Tumblr...[which no longer exists]…

Is it possible for a son to be attracted to his mother and fantasize about her even though he grew up with her? Without the westermark effect?

Yes.

This happens quite frequently. You no doubt know multiple sons who have or had such feelings. And you almost certainly know some who’ve acted on them.

Not everyone experiences the Westermarck Effect with all people they were raised with. Sometimes the effect is very weak in comparison to their attraction. Also, some people are primarily consanguinamorous in their orientation.

Whether the woman who raised him is his biological mother, stepmother, adoptive mother, grandmother, aunt, etc., it happens.

It also happens to daughters who have attraction to women. And sons who are attracted to men might experience attraction to their father. And daughters who are attracted to men might experience attraction to their father.

In reunion/introduction Genetic Sexual Attraction situations, there was never any chance for the Westermarck Effect to be a factor. But when raised with or by someone, it still might not be present, or might not be strong enough to override attraction.

If you're experiencing such feelings and need to talk with someone, contact Keith.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15

“This oppresses women.” Gender equality and the right to be unmarried or to divorce are necessary components of full marriage equality. Anti-equality people often point to polygyny in certain cultures, past and present, where women do not have equal rights. However, this is not proof that polygyny, much less the larger scope of polygamy or polyamory, oppresses women. Women would be oppressed in those cultures with or without polygyny. If a woman wants to marry a man who has other wives rather than another man who is an unmarried man, and the other wives agree, why deny her that choice? If a woman wants to marry two men, or a man and a woman, or two women, she should have that right, too. Some women enjoy polygamy, including polygyny, and they should have the right to consent to the marriage of their choosing.

The law does not prevent a man from having relationships with, and children with, multiple women, but he can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. The law does not prevent a woman from having relationships with, and children with, multiple men, but she can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. Three people can have a loving, lasting triad, living together for years and years, but can't legally marry. What kind of sense is that?

Protections against gender discrimination, domestic violence, and child abuse should be the focus, not preventing consenting adults from marrying. Victims of abuse would be more likely to work with authorities to stop abusers if consensual relationships were not criminalized nor discriminated against.
 
There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #14

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16 

Why Does Someone Feel That Way?

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors.

*****

https://www.quora.com/I-m-16-why-do-I-have-sexual-feelings-for-my-dad/answer/Keith-Pullman

I’m 16, why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?

Keith Pullman

I network with, interview, & befriend adults with consensual incest experience.3y

Originally Answered: I’m 16,why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?

Most 16-year-olds are very hormonal. For some, this means they’ll have sexual feelings for a lot of people in their lives. What most people don’t admit is that this can include close relatives, including a parent.

There is also a small percentage of the population that has a sexual orientation that is somewhat consanguinamorous, meaning they are attracted to one or more close relatives in large part because they are close relatives.

If your father has raised you, and he’s been a great father, that can also factor into your attraction.

If your father didn’t raise you, but he’s back in your life now, well, a lot of people feel a very strong attraction to a close genetic relative if that relative didn’t raise them, but they are in each other’s lives now.

Finally, if your father is “objectively” attractive, that might be most or part of the reason why.

Sexual attractions are very diverse.

You are certainly not alone. You probably know other people who’ve been attracted to their own father, whether it was fleeting or they have a strong lasting attraction, or something somewhere between.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding  them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Support the Rights of All Women

March 8 is International Women's Day.

All women should be free to be themselves, to have their basic human and civil rights, whether they are cisgender, transgender, or noncomforming or fluid; whether they are asexual, heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, or pansexual; whether they are aromantic, celibate, monogamous, or nonmonogamous. Whether their relationships are exogamous, endogamous, or consanguineous. Whether they are questioning or they are certain. Whether they are raising children or have raised children or not. Whether they are married or partnered or single.

A woman, regardless of her birth, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, shaming, or discrimination.

(Same goes for any other adults, too.)