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Monday, April 29, 2019

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #1


“It is disgusting.” Also known as the “ick” or “eww” factor, this explains why the person using the argument would not want to enter into the type of relationship or marriage or have the kind sex they want banned, but their own personal disgust is not a justification for preventing other people from doing something those other people want to do. Don’t want to have an (adult) intergenerational or interracial or same-gender or polyamorous or consanguineous marriage? Don’t have one. Some people are disgusted by the idea of heterosexual sex, or their parents having sex, but obviously this is not a justification to ban those things. Some people find prejudice and bigotry, a lack of marriage equality, disgusting. Meanwhile, the people in these relationships aren’t disgusted. How they love each other should be be up to them.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #2
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Saturday, April 27, 2019

International Consanguinamory Day

April 28, 2019 is the second Annual International Consanguinamory Day.

It is a day to celebrate and raise awareness about consanguinamory, consauinamorous relationships, and consanguinamorous people. It is important for people to know:
  • They know people who are consanguinamorous, perhaps people they love and admire.
  • Consanguinamorists exist in every demographic, race, class, and population and always have.
  • Consanguinamory is in your genealogy.
  • Consanguinamorists face prejudice, harassment, discrimination, even criminalization and murder simply for being who they are and loving other consenting adults.
  • We are going to ensure that people of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship orientations, including consanguinamorous people, have their rights sooner rather than later.
Consanguinamorous people and allies are welcome to join Kindred Spirits for support and opportunities to help others. If you’re consanguinamorous, you’re not alone!
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Friday, April 26, 2019

Intergenerational Relationships Aren't Automatically Abusive

After I boosted my post "Intergenerational Relationships Can Work" on the Tumblr counterpart to this blog. (And again, we are talking about ADULTS.) This prompted someone to anonymously message that Tumblr blog...
Oh, hey! Somehow I didn't notice you supported intergenerational relationships, and I checked your answers to common objections and there was no reference to it, so may I direct you to a couple of links you might find interesting? They are against intergenerational relationships, but they might have notions you haven't considered.
From what I could see, the objections to intergenerational relationships (generally meaning 20 or more years difference in age) or even just age-gap relationships (less than 20, but, say ages 18 vs. 24 or 30 vs. 45) were all variations on the "power imbalance" argument.
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Thursday, April 25, 2019

Genetic Sexual Attraction is Not a Mental Disorder or Character Flaw

Since Genetic Sexual Attraction or Genetic Attraction isn't something most of the masses know or understand, it's easy for there to be misunderstanding about it, especially some seemingly sadistic (and I'm not talking about the good kind of sadism) bigots decide to verbally beat up people who have experienced GSA.

Reunion GSA describes the intense, overwhelming attraction a postpubescent person may experience after being reunited or introduced to a postpubescent close genetic relative with whom they've had little-to-no contact since about age seven or before. It can happen when someone conceived through sperm donation meets someone else who had the same sperm donor. It can happen when a woman meets the genetic father who never knew she existed because she was conceived during a one night stand. It can happen when an adoptee reunites with a birth parent or finds an aunt or uncle or full or half sibling. It can happen when full or half siblings were separated because of divorce as young children and raised thousand of miles apart, barely seeing each other until they're in their late teens or older. There are many ways for this to happen.

It's about the phenomenon experienced by an individual. That person may not even tell anyone else about this. It may or may not be reciprocated. If reciprocated, sex often, but not always, results. Trying to dismiss GSA as some deceptive synonym for incest is ignorance or a willful attack on persecuted people, many of whom had absolutely no say in the circumstances that have resulted in GSA.
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Monday, April 22, 2019

Remarkable Essay on Consanguinamory

Unfortunately, we missed this essay by Rudolf Mandelbaum when it was published at medium.com in January of 2018. In it, he argues that consanguinamorous people should have civil rights, too.
Whether you are moved by this essay or not, please consider taking this issue more seriously than most people today do, which means examining your position on it thoroughly, and being willing to discuss it as though it is not a settled matter with no effect on people’s lives. 
For my part, I intend to demonstrate that incest, that is, sex, romance, and/or marriage between family members, is not only not unethical, but that its stigmatization is unjustifiably bigoted. I also hope to prove to you why your position on it isn’t trivial, why this isn’t no big deal, or an abstract intellectual ideal deserving no present real world advocacy, why it is in fact a serious social justice concern worth holding a stance on.

Good!
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Saturday, April 20, 2019

Intergenerational Relationships Can Work

Are you in or considering an intergenerational relationship? Are you against such relationships?

By “intergenerational,” I’m talking about ADULT generations. I’m talking about CONSENTING ADULTS. I just wanted to get that out of the way. I’m not talking about adults preying on minors, pedophilia, etc.

The Bad

Although not illegal, nonconsanguineous relationships between adults with a sizable age difference do face prejudice and discrimination. Stereotypical assumptions, expressed as though they are automatically negative, are made about both the younger and older people involved in such relationships.

The older person, depending on age/gender, is often said to be:

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Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Starting or Joining a GSA at Your School

Not only are school years a time for intense personal discovery and growth, but they are usually a time of intense pressures, including the pressure to conform, and bullying.

For those reasons, Gay-Straight Alliances, or Gender and Sexuality Associations, or Diversity clubs are critical. Any club or program that supports gender, sexuality, and relationship diversities in students and their families can be of help.

If your school doesn't have such an organization, consider starting one. See here and here. As schools plan for the next school year, don't let your school be without such an organization!

If you school already has one, consider joining and/or supporting it. Student, faculty, and parental support are all needed.

Whether starting or joining, please do what you can to make the organization welcoming, inclusive, and accepting of all whose identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or existing relationship (or that of their parents) makes them a target for discrimination or bullying.
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Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Game of Thrones is Back For a Final Season

Well, here we are again. This is what was posted here last time.

Season 8 has started. I'm not spoiling anything in the text of this post.

Do you watch? Are you caught up?

One of the things the series is known for is depictions of consanguineous sex. While the depictions can be less than positive, the good thing is that they can spark some honest conversations.

Depictions of consanguineous sex and relationships have always existed in our stories, all through history, because it has always been a part of life. Some people do these things. Many more have wanted to or have at least found the idea interesting or stimulating. Some have thought about it without actually wanting to. And if people can discuss these things honestly, that's a good thing.

Has Games of Thrones helped you to talk about it? Has it sparked some thinking about it? You can comment below (including anonymously) or you can email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.
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Monday, April 15, 2019

Is a Woman Unable to Consent to Marry Her Sibling?

[Bumping this up because it is still revelant.] I take the idea of consenting adults seriously. An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any other legal union offered) with any and all consenting adults.

This does not mean I think any given person is a good match for any other person, or that they are treating each other right. It just means whether or not they have a relationship and what they do together should be up to them, not anyone else.

Our laws are inconsistent about this. A 22-year-old woman living below the poverty level can legally consent to sign a prenuptial agreement and legally marry a 60-year-old male billionaire. She can have sex with the President of the United States, who obviously has much more power than her. The law in many places allows her to marry a complete stranger. Also, in most places, she can legally live with and consent to sex with a man who has what amounts to a harem, or she can consent to group sex with several weightlifting champions she’s never met before, or an older man who’s been her next-door neighbor since she was born and babysat her throughout her childhood, and is now living on death row as a convicted murderer. That’s all legal. However, in many places she’s still barred from legally marrying another 22-year-old woman, and in even more places, she is still barred from having consensual sex with, let alone marrying a full or half sibling, even if they weren’t raised together. I have yet to hear a reason justifying such discrimination that withstands scrutiny.

Recently some tweets were directed to me by a thoughtful person questioning brother-sister marriage, and those tweets deserve responses longer than 140 characters, so I’m putting my response here.

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Saturday, April 13, 2019

Genetic Sexual Attraction is Not a Synonym For Incest

[This is being bumped up because it is as relevant as ever.]

"Proclamations of the Red Queen" at gaynz.com had an article with the title "Genetic Sexual Attraction: The New Face of Incest"
When we think of incest, we instinctively recoil from horrific images of frightened children cowering from parental or related sexual predators. But what about “consensual adult incest’? Is it any different?
Of course it is. Consanguinamory is very different than abuse.
In Gay Times, John Marrs discussed the matter with two formerly estranged gay and bisexual brothers. One had been adopted out of his family of origin when his parents divorced as a child and due to adult adoption reforms, was able to track down his family of origin and meet his parents and little brother, now a seventeen year old teenager. Two years later, the older brother came out to his younger sibling…who responded by having sex with him.
Good. There could have been any number of negative responses, including physical violence. Instead, they made love.

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Thursday, April 11, 2019

National Day of Silence in the US

GLSEN's National Day of Silence is Friday, April 12.

It's a day of silence, especially in schools, to bring awareness to the prejudice, inequality, and bullying suffered by LGBTQ people.

Along with all allies, I also think poly people and consanguinamorous people should participate.

Everyone should have the freedom to be themselves without being bullied. Every adult should have the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Young people should be free to develop relationships, as appropriate for their age, with their peers without being forced into a narrow heteromonogamous paradigm. Transgender, genderfluid, intersex, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, and other students and faculty need to see that they are supported.

LGBTQ, poly, and consanguinamorous students and faculty still have to deal with hateful policies and attacks, but with your help, that will continue to change.
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Wednesday, April 10, 2019

National Siblings Day

It’s National Siblings Day, at least here in the US. 

In keeping with the interests of this blog, we want to celebrate all people who love their siblings, especially if that includes supporting your sibling as they face discrimination for their gender identity,  their sexual or relationship orientations, or their relationships or sexuality.

We also want to celebrate all siblings in consanguinamorous relationships. For many of them, there is no more important person in the world than their sibling(s).

So if you have a good sibling, let them know you appreciate them.

Here's one of many interviews I've done with consanguinamorous siblings. There are more here.

If you have siblings or children or a parent or some other close relative or friends in such a sibling relationship, this is for you.

Sometimes middle-aged siblings experience a change in their relationship dynamic. Unfortunately, siblings are still denied their freedom to marry in most of the world.

Finally, there is some really wonderful, painfully realistic fiction about a sibling relationship.

Comment below or email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com if you have something you want to share about your sibling(s).
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Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Why Many Lovers Look Alike

A recent article at time.com by Jamie Ducharme explores and explains something you may have noticed and studies have backed up: Many people are attracted to people who look like them. As we point out, who looks more like you than a close relative? This might help explain why reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction happens.

In 2016, Olivia Brunner, like millions of Americans, decided to take an at-home DNA test. But Brunner wasn’t motivated by pure curiosity. She bore a striking resemblance to her then-boyfriend, Greg — from their hair colors and complexions down to their facial expressions — and for years, people had commented that they looked related. She needed to confirm, for her own peace of mind, that they weren’t — especially since she had been adopted as a baby.
If you've been having a wonderful relationship with someone for years, why should that stop just because you found a close genetic relation? It doesn't change who that person has been to you. It doesn't change the experiences you've had together. It does mean that societal prejudices, in some places still enshrined in unconstitutional law, may come into play, but it's tragic if that ends a good relationship.


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Sunday, April 7, 2019

Consanguineous Affection is Not a Joke or Stunt

Greg Barradale at thetab.com analyzed a YouTube video and made it clear he didn't approve of the affection displayed.

Here's what he had to say about it...
One: How the f--- is this a prank?
It's a "prank" because there's a prejudice pervasive in many societies that siblings aren't supposed to be affectionate this way. 

Two (and this is the truly important question): What the F---? No need for a few paragraphs laying out why this, as a concept, is weird.
What the writer is doing is the equivalent of jumping up and down. He simply expects everyone to agree with him. But some people like sharing affection, including with their siblings. The writer doesn't give any reason why they shouldn't.
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Friday, April 5, 2019

Update on Unconstitutional Nebraska Prosecution of Consenting Adults

There are developments relating to this situation covered previously here.

They actually went ahead with prosecuting these consenting adults. They're wasting public resources on this.

Brent BonFleur reported at klkntv.com...
A St. Paul man accused of marrying and having a sexual relationship with his daughter will be sentenced on May 30. 
DNA Testing showed a 99 percent probability that the man, Travis Fieldgrove, 39,  is the father of 21-year-old Samantha Kerschner. Kerschner is also charged with felony incest.
She is being prosecuted, too. So who is the victim of this "crime" again?
According to court documents, Fieldgrove pleaded no contest to criminal attempted incest. 
Under the plea agreement, both the prosecutor and public defender are making a joint recommendation for Fieldgrove, for two years behind bars.
Two years of imprisonment for having sex with another adult! This is outrageous! Let's hope the judge does the right thing here. There is no good reason this should be a criminal matter in the first place.

UPDATE: He was sentenced.
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Tuesday, April 2, 2019

A Cruel Double Standard

I've considered adding another entry to the Discredited Arguments page, because I've heard and read people say that people in consanguinamorous relationships (or step or adoptive relationships that have gone romantic) don't need the freedom to marry because they're already family. In addition to being as senseless as telling a woman she can't marry her sister's husband's brother (which is legal and does happen) because they are already family, the statement can bring up a very cruel double standard.

In many situations involving Genetic Sexual Attraction, the lovers are not legally family for the purposes of insurance, benefits, taxes, hospital visitation, next of kin, etc. because they were adopted into or born into (via sperm, egg, or embryo donation) different families. Also, in many places, when a married woman gives birth, the child is legally her spouse's child as well. What if, due to sex with someone other than her spouse, the woman's child is genetically a half-sibling to another married couple's child, and as adults they decide they'd like to marry?

The double standard is that, while these genetically related people don't enjoy the benefits of being family, in places that still have ridiculous laws discriminating against consensual adult incest, they are considered family and thus can (and are) criminally prosecuted for consensual sex or at least denied their right to marry.

You're not family so you can't get the benefit of being family. You are family so you are going to be prosecuted for having loved each other in sexual way. That's cruel.

As an example, if something were to happen to Melissa and she ended up in a hospital, her adoptive parents could bar Matthew and Linda from even being by her side, let alone making decisions about her care, even though Matthew and Linda are, for practical purposes, her spouses. She would be married to them if she could, but the law isn't there yet.

Those who are sharing, or want to share their lives as spouses or partners often do need the same rights, benefits, and protections as any other spouses, and there’s no good reason to deny them their fundamental right to marry. Also, marriage automatically provides for next-of-kin status, which is especially important when there is some discord between at least one of the lovers and legal family members outside of the consanguinamorous relationship.

There are many cruel double standards when trying to tell other consenting adults how to love each other. GSA or not, consanguinamorous people need discriminatory laws to be done away with, and need access to the protections provided by marriage, if they want them. This is yet another reason we need full marriage equality sooner rather than later.
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Monday, April 1, 2019

Women Can Have Multiple Spouses, Too

Or, There’s More to Polygamy Than Polygyny

Women can enjoy multiple spouses, multiple husbands, multiple wives, multiple partners, multiple girlfriends, multiple boyfriends, and dating multiple people. A woman can love more than one person, have multiple ongoing romantic relationships, and have multiple ongoing sexual relationships.

Regular readers of this blog may find such statements to be obvious, but way too often, when I read or hear news or commentary about “polygamy,” what is meant is “polygyny” (one husband, multiple wives). Polyandry, meaning one wife with multiple husbands, has existed in tradition and still exists in modern relationships, and it is polygamy, too, as are spousal relationships between multiple women and multiple men, or three or more men, or three or more women.

This blog supports relationship rights for adults regardless of gender. A woman should be just as free as a man to marry more than one person, regardless of their genders or how closely related, and just as free as a man to not marry at all. or to leave a marriage.

Polyamory and Polygamy
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