Wednesday, March 30, 2011

More Positive Response to “Sister Wives” Part Deux

The previous post was getting too long, so I split it into two. The first part looked at Annette Kniola’s impression of “Sister Wives.” Below, I look at the responses she got.

virgomoon was highly eloquent…

It really is disheartening the way the polygamy has been portrayed in the news of late. That picture of modern polygamy is one filled with all sorts of back-rooms dealings, child and minor abuse, human trafficking, etc. The problem is that that picture is one of a small, but heinous minority.

And here’s why we don’t see more positive depictions…

Practicing polygamy is a felony. While it is not a crime to have rampant relations with flocks of women and sire children by them for the state or a single mother to care for, taking responsibility for them will land you in jail. That is the fight that modern secular polygamists face. To fight the good fight means coming out into the light of day and finding yourself staring down the barrel of jail time.

It is ridiculous. People have the freedom to have sex and children with multiple partners, and I don’t want that freedom to be taken away. But marrying each of those partners and thus raising all of the children within marriage is illegal. Why???

There is a massive contingent in the US and Canada that want nothing more than to be able to care for their families of intelligent and well cared for children and powerful, intelligent, and opinionated wives that entered into this lifestyle of their own accord without coercion. We want to do so without subsidy from the state and without any greater rights than those afforded our neighbors.

Why are they denied?

cgbexec is supportive.

NedLand wasn’t…

I think you are all out of your minds.

That’s it. No explanation as to what is wrong with the freedom to marry.

keekee, admitting to have never watched “Sister Wives” or the fictional “Big Love,” wrote anyway…

However, the concept of polygamy must be fraught with problems throughout.

Such as…?

Leaving all that aside, and only referring to consenting adults that have entered into this life with open eyes and understanding, I have to wonder if the lifestyle is how it is portrayed in the TV show you describe or if perhaps the TV show is more showbiz than real.

That can also apply to any show with a monogamous couple. So what?

As humans, we are all prone to many emotions, jealousy being one of the worst. In traditional families there are always the little squabbles and hurts. Strong families can overcome these things, but families experience them, none the less. And in the work place, you have jealousy there also.

So… we should all work in business partnerships and never a larger company?

I don’t see human nature being left at the door when living a polygamist life. Does the first wife think she is the boss? And what if the third wife is prettier than the second wife? And what if the fourth wife is well educated and considers herself to be more sophisticated than wife one, two and three? ETC, etc.

None of those are anyone else’s business and are not good reasons to prevent people from having the freedom to marry.

And the children? Are they being done a disservice by being born into a polygamist family? They were given no choice and I have to wonder, wouldn’t they be ostracized by their peers?

This is Discredited Argument #6. Children are never given a choice about their parents. This ostracism thing is a curious one. It goes something like this:

Bigot: “Polygamy is wrong! Shame! Shame on you freaks!”
Me: “What’s wrong with polygamy?”
Bigot: “Their kids will be called freaks!”

Well, yes, bigots, bullies, and ignorant brats will tease kids. If we allowed that to stop freedom and civil liberties, we would still have racial segregation. How about this. How about when you deal with the kids, you don’t disparage the love of their parents? Problem solved, right?

And you do know that not everyone who marries raises children, right?

virgomoon responded to keekee…

Yes, I am in a polygamous home of two wives. Both very different and both very much average American women in their own ways. They go to Wal-Mart, go to the dentist, take pets to the vet, play with kids, have babies, talk to friends, family, etc .. just like everyone else. Were it not for the fact that there were two women, we would be perfectly indistinguishable from your average American household.

Regarding the children…

As for the children .. they don't seem to care less. They have no peer problems that I have been made aware of. All they seem to care about is that they have more laps to sit on and more arms to hold them and more hands to fill their cups. And they really love having more grandparents. Come on, what kid wouldn't like more attention?


If polygamy works for you, your wives and children, who am I to make judgment? I would never presume.

The life you describe sounds like the life of millions of Americans living the traditional marriage.

Wow, was a mind changed? Well, maybe not…

Being honest, I must admit I’m not “enlightened” enough to agree with polygamy, and it probably goes against every idea I was raised to believe. However, I was also raised to understand it takes all manner of people to make up our wonderful world and it would be a sin to presume my life was of any greater value than any life on earth.

God bless you and your family, I wish you well.

I should check back to see if there has been more.

It is easy to be against the polygamous freedom to marry when you allow yourself to believe the only people practicing it are crazy, abusive middle-aged men each with with ten timid 13-year-old girls. Being exposed to polygamous marriages involving normal, consenting adults means someone is more likely to support the freedom to marry.
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1 comment:

  1. I love this!
    I haven't been to read the comments and such personally, mostly because the name calling and religious arguments push buttons I haven't learned to shelter yet, but I thoroughly enjoy intelligent, open discussion.

    and one of the things I really enjoy about Sister Wives is that the jealousy issue was discussed - in more than one episode. Meri discussed with Kody (on their anniversary) her own feelings of inadequacy, and even pushed the issue with "how would you feel if I wanted another husband?" Kody wasn't happy about it, but hey! kudos to Meri for putting it out there - it certainly was running through MY head!

    and this week's episode hit the nail on the head with Kody's and Jenelle's mothers ... something along the lines of saying that one wife's shortcomings may be another's strength. it's not about being inadequate, it's about improving the family as a whole.

    I'm thinking a more organized wife would definitely benefit MY home ;)


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