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Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Let's Break the Silence and Bring People Out of the Shadows and Closets

One definition of "taboo" is "a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice."

That means it is possible for many people to be doing something and still have it "taboo" in the sense that nobody talks about it, at least not openly or publicly. The problem with not talking about things is that such silence can lead to serious negative consequences.

Thanks to technology, people can search out information about something without having to ask someone they live with or next to, or a teacher.

Want to know the most popular entry for this blog?

It's not even close.

The most popular entry on this blog, by far, is the entry addressing a frequently asked question of "How Common is Consensual Incest (Consanguinamory)? People from all over the world, but especially North America, Europe, India, and Australia, use search engines to answer the question, and those searches bring them here. The geography is no doubt a reflection of the blog being written in English. (Perhaps I should post more translated entries?)

Before going further, let’s make it clear this entry is talking about sex or sex-play or exploration that is consensual (we’ll call it Category S), not anything involving assault, molestation, or coercion (Category X). We shouldn’t have to reiterate that “sex” means consensual, but unfortunately we still do. (It’s not sex if it isn’t consensual, it is assault.)

The volume of searches and visits can't be accounted for solely by curiosity and journalistic or academic research. Some of that volume is from people who are, were, or want to be involved, or think or are certain someone they know is, perhaps even their partner. We know this because of the comments they leave and the messages they send, and all of the other entries they visit after coming to the blog through their initial question.

Based just on searches that invoke the question and other searches that find this blog*, there are a lot of people who have been involved, are involved, or want to be involved sexually or romantically, or want to be married to, someone law or custom forbids as too close of a relative. Yes, some people are completely disgusted by the thought, but clearly there are many who aren't. And some people are unable to hear or read anything about Category S without thinking of Category X, perhaps because they have been assaulted, which is terrible, but we should not avoid talking about sex because of assault. Even if person A is disgusted by the thought persons B and C having sex, or doesn't understand why these people are involved, persons B and C should be free to be together how they mutually agree.

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Sunday, August 26, 2018

Women’s Equality Day in US

It’s Women’s Equality Day in the US: http://www.nwhp.org/resources/commemorations/womens-equality-day/10-ideas-for-womens-equality-day/


In that spirit we note that women, regardless of sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
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Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Involved Stepfamily Wanted for Television Show

Are you involved romantically and/or sexually with someone who is also your stepsibling or stepchild or stepparent? We know you're out there.

Someone wants to get you onto television. This is what they say...

*****
A TV production company is looking for a couple who are in a relationship and are also step-family, for a series about unusual relationships.

The show is very positive, and non-judgemental. The message throughout is very much is 'love is love.’

If you think you’d be interested in appearing (face identified), please contact
charley.sutton@barcroftmedia.com.

Thanks!

*****

As I frequently do, I'll remind you that there are certain risks involved (notice your face will be appearing) and someone else will control how you're portrayed. But visibility is important. People who are steprelations should be free to be together how they mutually agree without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. And yes, in some places, it is illegal for certain steprelatives to be together. It's ridiculous, but true.

There are stepsiblings who are together. There are adults out there who are with their stepmother or stepfather. But will any of you take this opportunity assist with a television show?
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Monday, August 20, 2018

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Who Can Help With GSA in Europe?

A desperate comment was left after this entry on this blog:

"Keith, do you have any idea how or where in Europe can I come in contact with some licensed expert to attest to my defense in a pending case in front a jury? on the GSA condition? as I can not use a mail address please PUT IT HERE. RATHER URGENT. thank you"


It's sad this kind of thing is still an issue. I get private messages and emails with similar urgency. 

If anyone reading this knows of someone, please speak up or get in contact.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Hiding in Plain Sight

Most people who contact us who have experience with Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory do not want to have something specifically about them published on the blog. Others are featured in an interview. Rather than an interview, what is below is more of a monologue Anonymous gave me about her relationship and the backstory behind it. I would describe this as relationship that developed from reunion GSA.

There is no good reason people in these relationships should be criminalized or otherwise discriminated against. The prejudice against these relationships hurts people and causes problems.

Read for yourself what this woman has to say. Names have been changed to protect those involved...


*****

We've had to hide in plain sight for a long time.

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Saturday, August 11, 2018

Sons and Daughters Day

It’s National Sons and Daughters Day, at least here in the US. 

Do you have reason to observe or celebrate?

If you’re an ally to your son or daughter, or you have a double bond with them, comment below and tell us about it. You can comment anonymously or signed-in. 
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Thursday, August 9, 2018

Starting or Joining a GSA at Your School

Not only are school years a time for intense personal discovery and growth, but they are usually a time of intense pressures, including the pressure to conform, and bullying.

For those reasons, Gay-Straight Alliances, or Gender and Sexuality Associations, or Diversity clubs are critical.

If your school doesn't have such an organization, consider starting one. See here and here. As another school year ramps up, don't let your school be without such an organization!

If you school already has one, consider joining and/or supporting it. Student, faculty, and parental support are all needed.

Whether starting or joining, please do what you can to make the organization welcoming, inclusive, and accepting of all whose identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or existing relationship (or that of their parents) makes them a target for discrimination or bullying.






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Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Anticipation of Participation with a Sibling Relation

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

This is probably a first for this blog. This time, we're interviewing someone who is planning to inaugurate physical consanguinamory into their relationship.


*****




FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous: I’m a 25 year old woman living in Tampa, Florida. I work as a hotel manager of sorts. I’m not there yet, but my boss sure does like to give me all the work related with the job title. I’m Hispanic and Jewish, which is not what most people expect, and my favorite hobbies are dancing, laying on my hammock, and yes it counts as a hobby, and watching soccer games just to hear the announcer say "Gooooal!" I like reading Russian literature, planting trees, Ikebana and collecting currencies of countries that no longer exist. 

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Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Why Men Choose Polyandry

Ruth asked at a Big Internet Portal's question-and-answer service...
Why do men choose polyandry(a woman with multiple husbands)?
What's the appeal? Is their jealousy? How does sex work? Is it akward knowing that the other husband has had sex with your wife?I'd like to understand how polyandrous relationships work, especially from mens point of view. Could you handle your wife having another husband?

Why do men choose a monogamous marriage? Why do men choose not to marry at all? Why do some men choose a polygynous marriage, or a group marriage? It’s going to be different for different people, but you can find some common reasons that pop up frequently. It is a combination of needs and wants, including social, emotional, financial, sexual, etc.

A man may choose polyandry because he is bisexual, or because he enjoys seeing his wife with another man, or because his wife has a higher libido than he does, or for reasons that are entirely nonsexual.

You can see the very good Best Answer if you keep reading.
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Sunday, August 5, 2018

An Open Letter to Mackenzie Phillips

Dear Ms. Phillips,

Congrats on the role in Orange is the New Black. A recent article by Keryn Donnelly at mamamia.com.au about your role was headlined with what I call the "i" word, because it gets a lot of attention. In fact, almost all of the article was about your past, rather than what you're doing now as far as acting and show biz. Your longevity in show biz is quite impressive, especially considering what you've endured.. I do remember watching your earlier roles, and I'm glad you're on such an esteemed show.

Here's what the article, which I'm assuming accurately quotes you, contained that caught my attention.
Many members of Phillips’ family have not forgiven her for exposing her relationship with her famous father. When she released her book in 2009, some spoke out against her and claimed it was unfair she had come forward with these allegations when her father was not around to defend himself.
It seems to me you were unfairly attacked.

If you were abused, then it was your story to tell regardless of whether your abuser was still alive or not.

If you were not abused, it was still your story to tell and you spared your father undue attacks while he was still alive.

But let's continue...
But Phillips says she’s made peace with her past.
“I have to say that I loved my father, and I still do. I’ve been trying to come to terms with this very difficult past,” she told Winfrey.
“I can’t be the only one this has happened to. Someone needs to put a face on not only non-consensual incest, but consensual incest, and I know that I can’t be the only one who’s lived through this. So in finding this redemption, maybe I’m helping someone else.”
You are exactly right.

Someone needs to speak up about both these two very different things that are often conflated: abuse by a close relative and consanguinamory. They are two very different things. It is our contention that the stigma and even criminalization attached to consanguinamory hinders effective prevention and prosecution of cases of abuse. It is also unjust to interfere in the love lives of consenting adults.

Because of your book and subsequent interviews, you've probably heard secrets people have, both about abuse and about consanguinamory. You've probably heard such secrets from celebrities and from fans, maybe even complete strangers you just happened to encounter.

Maybe you should be involved in raising awareness? Or maybe you just want to connect with people who don't lump all sexual activity between close relatives into the abuse category. Please feel free to reach out. As with anyone else who contacts me, I never share what someone tells my privately (even with their own lover) unless they grant me permission to do so.

I can't know for sure if your physical relationship with your father was abuse, consensual, or a mix of both. I'm not even sure if either of you could know for sure, given the mind-altering substances you both were using. I do reject the assertion that some people make that any sexual relationship between an adult and their parent is abuse by the parent. I do know that there are adults who do have consensual sex with family members, whether on a recreational level or a spousal level. I have seen it myself. Whether you were abused by your father or you consented to and initiated everything, it makes little sense for anyone to attack you about it. The attacks can be abusive!


People often cite a power differential as to why such relationships should not be considered consensual. It is Discredited Argument #20. Where does the power differential end when it comes to parent-child? Is it different between father-daughter, mother-son, mother-daughter, and father-son? What if the parent is 50 years old and the child 33? What if the parent is 70 and the child 53? What if the child was raised by someone else? Why not just let consenting adults do what they want when it comes to sex?

Thank you for saying what you did.
If that's as far as you'll go with this, that's fine. However, I would welcome your contact, encouragement, or general support in helping to make consent clear, and honored. Abusers need to be stopped. And nobody should be rejected by family or abused, especially by their own government, for consenting to love, sex, residence, or marriage with a close relative.

You are welcome to join our forum under a screen name, where you can compare your own experiences to those of others.

-Keith Pullman of Full Marriage Equality



orange is the new black season 6 barb mackenzie phillips

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National Sisters Day

Apparently it is National Sisters Day.

So, to all of you sisters out there, happy you!

As always, feel free to comment with appreciation for your sister.

We've heard from, and about, some wonderful sisters since we started this blog, including sisters who are allies and sisters who are lovers.
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Saturday, August 4, 2018

If She Wasn't Serious, She Wouldn't Have Revealed Her Feelings

There are better places than Reddit to have a serious discussion about consanguinamory, but I thought this recent post by someone with the screen name DaughterNeeds was an interesting one. This person claims to be an involved/experienced daughter, and titled the post "Respect your daughter choice and say yes"...
Actually, the only time I felt unwanted or unloved or hurt or betrayed was when my father originally told me no. He was worried that he had somehow done something wrong or that somehow I was confused.
To the fathers who are out there let me assure you of something: If your daughter comes to you can rest assured that she is sure and yes she means it! We are socially programmed from birth to believe such feelings or thoughts are immoral and unethical. If your daughter comes to you longing for you, she has had more than enough time to think, rethink, and think some more. She has likely struggled to come to terms with how she feels and she has likely contemplated a million reasons on why she should squash her feelings and most certainly has she has tried. Unknowing to you she has most certainly tried her whole life to force herself to feel for someone else as strongly and as instinctively she feels for you.
She makes a good point. Unless the situation is a recent reunion/introduction, or she's  literally insane to the point she has no idea what she's doing, a daughter making a clear pass at her father (or mother) must have thought about it a lot already. It might seem sudden to the parent, but it isn't to the daughter who is opening her heart and being extremely vulnerable.
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Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Northern Ireland Needs Full Marriage Equality

Northern Ireland is the only region of the UK that doesn't even have the limited monogamous same-sex freedom to marry. This is currently making news.

Like the rest of the planet, Northern Ireland should get full marriage equality so that an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, will be free to marry any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
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