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Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Myth: If Only They'd Known Ahead of Time, GSA Wouldn't Have Happened

Reality: There have been people who knew of their genetic relation and also knew about reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction, who were averse to the idea of sexual interaction between close genetic relatives, who have, nonetheless, experienced GSA.

The only way to be sure to avoid GSA is to either:

1) Never introduce/reunite genetic relatives raised apart, which is impossible given that they’ve been known to end up together without even intending to.

OR

2) Make sure they’re a regular part of each other’s life while growing up.

#2 May not be desirable for any number of reasons, but even close relatives who were raised together might end up having sexual interaction. For example, back in the 1970s studies revealed that about ten percent of people in their early twenties would admit to already having had (consensual, to be redundant) sexual contact with a sibling. This doesn’t even include contact with other close relatives. The percentage is probably higher today. While this usually doesn’t fall under what we define as GSA, it is still what people are worried about: close relatives enjoying each other sexually. So, avoiding the kind of distance that fosters GSA is still not an assurance that there will not be an attraction and/or some sexual interaction between close genetic relatives.

See Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away

See Myth: People Only Experience GSA Because They’d Heard About It or Knew of Their Relation
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Sunday, February 24, 2019

Making a Mark

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his lover, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a a few US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think his relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?


WARNINGS: Mildly explicit sexuality.



*****



FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Mark: I’m a thirty-something white male. I live on the outskirts of a big city in Switzerland. I have no kids or siblings. I think I'm middle class; I can afford to treat myself, and mom, to some niceties of life, but don't own a yacht or a Ferrari. I'm an avid cyclist, downhill skier and love photography. I'm a member of a handball team and earn my living as an engineer.  I like to think that I'm liked and respected by my peers.  Although I do enjoy good company, I'm not a party animal. 

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Saturday, February 23, 2019

PSA: Polyandry is a Form of Polygamy

Far too many people refer to polyandry as the "opposite" of polygamy. Or people will say "Polygamy and polyandry..."

Polygamy is marriage or marriages between three or more people, regardless of gender.

Polyandry is marriage to multiple men.

Polygyny is marriage to multiple women.


So...


Polyandry is a form of polygamy.

Polygyny is a form of polygamy.

Polygamy has many forms. It can be three people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be four people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be one person, regardless of gender, with concurrent marriages to two, three, four, or more people, regardless of genders.

If everyone involved is a consenting adult, then polygamy in any form can be considered a form of polyamory, which itself is a form of ethical nonmonogamy.

This link and this link might help explain.
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Friday, February 22, 2019

Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away

Reality: They might. That also means they might not.

Some people experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction report that their feelings have lasted years while they avoided any sexual contact. Others report their feelings changing after sharing a sexual relationship. Still others report the feelings endure with intensity in an ongoing consanguinamorous relationship. There are other possibilities as well.

It is common for feelings to evolve in any relationship. Polyamorists often talk about New Relationship Energy and Old Relationship Energy. Most people know that relationships can often start with infatuation that may not last, and may or may not be replaced with other feelings.

It appears to be very rare for GSA to evaporate away by simply ignoring it. Family and friends who tell someone experiencing GSA to just forget about it or ignore it may mean well, but they're not aware of just how overwhelming it can be. Even people who recognize the person to which they’re attracted is bad news, even abusive, may still feel drawn intensely to them. This is yet another reason why GSA needs to be decriminalized, brought out of the shadows, and dealt with seriously and respectfully.


See Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin These Relationships

See Myth: If Only They'd Known Ahead of Time, GSA Wouldn't Have Happened
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Monday, February 18, 2019

Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin GSA Relationships Because a Person Needs a Nonsexual Relationship With Their Genetic Relative

Reality: Sometimes including sex in the relationship is the best option for the relationship.

By definition, people experiencing reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction didn’t have ongoing familial relationships with the person(s) to whom they are attracted. They may want to develop one, and they may already be happy with their existing familial relationships.

Many people report that consaguinamory made them much closer, even if they have ceased that part of their relationship.

As far as someone needing a nonsexual relationship with a relative… in many situations involving GSA, the person does have a nonsexual relationship with some genetic relatives. On the other hand, there are people who never have any relationship whatsoever with their close genetic relatives who do quite well in life.

What people need in their lives is not to be subjected to abusive relationships, regardless of whether there is a close genetic relation. What people need is not to be criminalized or bullied or discriminated against for whatever consensual relationship they have.

See Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA

See Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away
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Sunday, February 17, 2019

Presidents Day

It's one of our extended holiday weekends here in the US, meaning Monday is a national holiday, this time for Presidents Day (which replaced Washington's Birthday and Lincoln's Birthday).

All the modern Presidents have been men married to a woman while campaigning and in office. There was at least one President in our history who wasn't married. Reagan had been divorced and remarried. Trump, as most people know, has been divorced twice and is into his third marriage.

We came very close to having our first female President. Of course, she was and is married to a man (one of our former Presidents!)

When will we have a woman as President? When will he have an out LGBTQ President? There are least a couple of women serving in high office right now who could eventually break both barriers at the same time.

We have had plenty of nonmonogamous Presidents. When will we have one who is openly, ethically nonmonogamous?

Hopefully, more and more future voters will understand that people can be great leaders and be gay, or lesbian, or pansexual, and/or genderqueer, and/or polyamorous.

With consanguinamory still being criminalized in most states, having openly an openly consanguinamorous President seems much further off. Never say never, though.

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Thursday, February 14, 2019

Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA

Reality: What is a good or the best outcome to a situation involving Genetic Sexual Attraction depends on the circumstances and the people involved.

Situations involving Genetic Sexual Attraction are varied. There have been people who’ve fallen in love, married, and had children before they’ve discovered their close genetic relation. There are situations where one person is experiencing GSA but nobody else is. There are situations in which one person involved is an abusive person. Sometimes people experiencing GSA had been happily committed to someone else in a closed relationship. Sometimes GSA involves people who are in dead marriages to others, raising children. Sometimes there is an adult in their thirties or forties and a teenager who is too young to legally consent and not independent.

Some people want to apply their religious rules or their personal prejudice against consanguinamory to say that that sexual affection is never good in a GSA situation.

This blog fully supports the rights of consenting adults to share in sexual affection, but we recognize that not every specific relationship is a healthy one.

For some, spending a lot of time together in-person is helpful. For others, keeping interaction limited is better.

For some, building a life going forward that involves socializing in the genetic roles (parent-adult child, siblings, etc.) works best. For others, it might be more of a friendship. For still others, it might be as lovers.

For a small number of people, the best outcome is keeping a distance or cutting off contact entirely.

For some people, it is best that their relationship not involve sex. For others, a relationship that includes sex for a limited amount of time is best. For still others, relationship that includes sex in perpetuity, such as a spousal relationship, is the best outcome. People should be able to seek the best outcome without the undue influence of bigotry.

There is no single, one-size-fits-all way to deal with GSA. In some relationships, getting sexual is the best the course of action. In others, it wouldn’t be a positive thing. This is one reason why it is critical that people experiencing GSA be allowed to get the assistance they need without criminalization or other forms of discrimination.

See Myth: GSA Causes Birth Defects or the Children Will Be Deformed

See Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin These Relationships Because a Person Needs a Nonsexual Relationship With Their Genetic Relative




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Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is here again. Many people will be getting married. Married people will be celebrating their anniversaries, or simply having a night out, as will other people hoping to get married someday, or maybe just enjoying being together in public.

If you are in such a situation, good for you and enjoy it.

Whether you are or not, take a moment to think about all of the people who can’t marry the person or person(s) they love, or can’t so much as hold hands in public without being accosted. Think about the people, consenting adults, who have to completely hide their relationships because they could be sent to prison for simply having sex in private. Think about the people who have to hide who they are because, where they live, they could be killed for being who they are. Think about the people who can’t accept gifts from their their lover(s) at work, or even a loving comment in social media, because it would out them and get them fired.

This is what goes on because some people are being denied their rights to share sex, love, residence, and marriage. The US has had the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry nationwide, which was a great step forward, for years now, and it hasn't hurt anything. Other victories for that freedom to marry since February 14, 2018 have included...

Alderney ...June 14, 2018
Jersey ...July 1
(A referendum to constitutionally ban same-sex marriage in Romania failed ...October 7)
Bermuda (again!) ...November 23
(Same-sex civil unions become legal in San Marino ...December 5)
Austria ...January 1, 2019

In most of the world, a man can’t marry both of the women he loves, despite both women being in favor of such a marriage.

The people in most of these interviews can't have legally recognized marriages anywhere in the world, with perhaps one or two exceptions, and we need full marriage equality before people like Linda, Melissa, and Matthew can tie the knot.

So enjoy Valentine's Day if you are able, but think for a moment about the people who will only be able to fully enjoy theirs when we have full marriage equality so that an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, persecution, or discrimination. Help make it happen sooner rather than later.

Do you have special plans? Or, if you're reading this after Valentine's Day, do you have anything special to report? If so, comment below. Remember, you can comment anonymously. Or, if you prefer, send Keith an email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com
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Saturday, February 9, 2019

Myth: GSA Causes Birth Defects or the Children Will Be Deformed


Reality: If sex between people brought together through Genetic Sexual Attraction results in a birth, GSA does not cause birth defects in and of itself.

Most children born to close relatives are healthy. You know some, whether you know it or not and whether they know their own true parentage or not.

Birth defects can be the result of injury during pregnancy, substances ingested during pregnancy, environmental factors, or genetic problems. It is the last one that people tend to be thinking of, usually, when they repeat this myth. That’s because when both genetic parents carry the same genetic problem, it may be demonstrated in the children. However, this can happen with parents who aren’t closely related, too. A genetic problem may also result in a child if only one parent carries the genetic problem.

Many people who are brought together through GSA don't have children together, due to personal choices, or age, or surgery, or their genders, or some other condition, or even fear of the children being used as evidence in prosecution. See here for more extensive information about this topic.

See Myth: People Who Act on GSA Won’t Be Able to Have Normal Lives

See Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA
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Friday, February 8, 2019

Another Couple Denied Their Right to Marry

As a result of people in consanguinamorous relationships being brave enough to reach out, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legallmarry his lover, yet they can't, and they could have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a a few US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say about his love with his mother. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they enjoy what we call double love?


*****




FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous Son: I live in India and from an upper middle class family. I currently work for a consulting firm.


FME: You currently live with... (siblings, parents, children, roommates)?

I currently live with my mother.

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Thursday, February 7, 2019

A Daughter Supports Her Parents

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Even where their love is not criminalized, they can still face harassment, discrimination, and other forms or persecution. Fortunately, some consanguinamorists and some family members are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. This blog has also had a few interviews with family members of consanguinamorists, such as the one below. 

The woman interviewed below shouldn't have hide the truth about her family.Her parents are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? 

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say when she can speak freely in safety. The interview has been edited for clarity, as English is not her first language.

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous Daughter: I'm 19, living in a city in Russia, with my parents at the moment. I just finished my studies and I'm not working now. 

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Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff of Fidelity in Polyamorous Relationships

Sheff continues to write on polyamory, and anyone who wants to know more about polyamory (or ethical nonmonogamy or consensually nonmonogamous relationships in general) should check out what she's written. It is to the credit of psychologytoday.com that they carry these writings. This latest article is on various kinds of fidelity.
Polyfidelity is a form of polyamory in which a group of people agree to be sexually exclusive with each other and not have lovers outside of the group. Usually these groups are quite small—triads with three people or quads with four are most common—though they can be as large as 20-plus people who form an exclusive intimate network. Twin reasons usually motivate people to consider polyfidelity: sexual exclusivity among a smaller group makes fluid bonding much easier, and a desire for emotional exclusivity.  Some groups choose to be polyfidelitous for a while and then later open their sexual choices to include others beyond the group and become polyamorous. For others, especially those who accidentally fell in love with each other and were not necessarily seeking a poly relationship per se but one happened to them anyway, the relationship expanded beyond two is quite enough and the idea of adding even more people to their lives is not appealing.
There's a whole world of different ways to do relationships. We're all better off when our laws and how we respect others take this into account.

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Sunday, February 3, 2019

Myth: People Who Act on GSA Won’t Be Able to Have Normal Lives


Reality: The only hindrance to having a “normal life” for those who continue together in a Genetic Sexual Attraction relationship is the bigotry of others.

Some who’ve been brought together through GSA lead perfectly "normal," even unusually good lives. This is more likely to be possible with the support of friends and family and will be even more likely with decriminalization of GSA and the arrival of full marriage equality.

Until then, many people in consanguinamorous relationships are somewhat closeted. There may be people you know who seem like the cutest couple, and may be great neighbors, who are actually people who were brought together by GSA.

Please help make it possible for more people who've been brought together through GSA lead "normal" lives.

See Myth: Only Defective People Experience GSA

See Myth: GSA Causes Birth Defects or the Children Will Be Deformed
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Friday, February 1, 2019

Nebraska Denies Marriage Equality and Arrests Consenting Adults

Grand Island police in Hall County, Nebraska must be wondering why they arrested consenting adults for exercising their fundamental rights. Here's yet another example of why unjust laws need to be overturned or repealed, and removed and why we need full marriage equality.

This case has been widely reported and names and pictures of the persecuted have been splashed everywhere.

From 1011now.com...
According to the Grand Island Police Department, a father and a daughter, a 21-year-old female and a 39-year-old male, have been arrested for incest. 
On January 29, Travis E. Fieldgrove, a 39-year-old St. Paul male, and Samantha H. Kershner, a 21-year-old St. Paul female, were arrested on warrants relating to an incest case, according to authorities.
Did they abuse a third person? No!

GIPD said this case relates to the two being involved in an intimate relationship beginning in September of 2018 in Grand Island, Nebraska despite evidence that Fieldgrove is the paternal parent of Kershner.
This shouldn't be a crime! This is nobody else's business? Who is the victim??? If she's a victim, then why was she arrested?!?

Evidence leading up to the arrest suggests that Fieldgrove and Kershner were aware of the biological relationship before being intimate, and further indicates that they quickly married one another after being notified of the investigation.
It's still a crime even if they weren't aware. Because the law is ridiculous!!! They should be free to marry. Unfortunately, they aren't yet. They should have protected themselves.
Court records indicate that the two married at the Adams County courthouse in Hastings. 
Both Fieldgrove and Kershner are charged with felony incest in both Hall and Adams counties.
So two counties are wasting public resources. This needs to stop!

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