Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Media Portrayals Helping With Polygamous Freedom to Marry

Diane Rene at My Mind’s Ramblings wrote about “Sister Wives” and “Big Love”

my friend apparently was watching the Sister Wives marathon yesterday while I was playing catch up on season 5 of Big Love and it spawned conversation.

Her friend expresses a dislike for the show.

friend: so you've seen the show?
me: yes
friend: and what do you think?
me: I have no problem with it
friend: so you'd let hubby have another wife?
me: I don't know that I, personally, could handle a sister wife, but I have no issues with a man and a woman that agree to plural marriage and invite another consenting adult, who also doesn't mind, into the arrangement.
friend: so you don't find it odd that these women SHARE a husband?
me: nope
friend: I think it's wrong
me: wrong for you? or wrong for anyone?
friend: wrong for anyone!
me: why?
friend: cause something like that has to create jealousy, and they're creating kids who think it's okay to do this.

maybe it's just me, but I honestly have no issues with this.

Her friend’s reasoning appears to be that polygyny is wrong, because children raised in polygynous families might think polygyny is okay. This is circular reasoning, so it does not explain why she thinks polygyny is wrong. Citing jealousy would only explain why she would not want to have a polygynous marriage, not why others shouldn’t be allowed to. This also prompts my question… so women in monogamous marriage never get jealous?

Neither family is milking the state they live in, they don't collect food stamps and they aren't a burden on society.

quite honestly, I see it as a beautiful thing. I can absolutely see the benefit of having multiple adults in the scenario - more than one wage earner, more than one stay at home parent, help with the cleaning, the homework, the laundry, the cooking, help with all of the daily chores and the unexpected set backs. I can't count the number of times I wished I had an extra set of hands or someone who could take over the homework battle when I am spent!

She expresses her position as an ally…

I don't see plural marriage being an option for me, but I don't feel comfortable in taking that option away from the people it works for.

Thanks, Diane!

Karen in Texas is also an ally…

I like your attitude on this Diane. While plural marriage isn't for me and as long as it is consenting adults and they're taking care of all their responsiblilities who cares?

As is Dysfunctional Mom...

No surprise: I totally agree with you. I don't think I could handle sharing my hubby, but having Sister Wives sounds fantastic! I had a good friend live with us for a while and there were major perks.

It is nice to have allies!

Letting people see that relationships don’t have to be monogamous to work, and that people who are polygamous are normal, is helping. People already know that monogamy doesn’t work for everyone. Knowing and seeing that there are other ways to function well lifts a burden on those who feel pressured to conform to a mold in which they don’t fit. The media helped when prejudiced, negative portrayals of gay and lesbian relationships were removed and replaced with honest, realitistic portrayals that let people know it was okay to be LGBT, though there is still work to be done in that area. But we’re seeing the same help for happen now when it comes to polygamy and polyamory in general.
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  1. thanks for passing my thoughts along! I love this blog and you are opening my eyes to things I hadn't actually thought about, but find myself agreeing with.
    thanks for doing what you do!

  2. Thanks, Diane. I'm glad I found your blog and I now follow it. Im always interested in feedback, suggestions, etc.


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