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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today, especially, we remember transgender people killed by hatred and ignorance. It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

For all transgender people reading this:

We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.

We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.
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Sunday, November 17, 2019

Myth: GSA Doesn't Exist or is Very Rare

Reality: We have many situations today in which people are raised apart of close genetic relatives and are later introduced to, or reunited with, those relatives.

They may have been apart due to one or more of them being the result of affairs, flings, one night stands, or egg/sperm/embryo donations, or because of adoption, divorces or breakups, migration, or incarceration.

Social networking, DNA/ancestry testing, and increased mobility bring them together.

In up to 50% of situations in which they are brought (back) together, when they are post-pubescent and the genders and sexual orientations are compatible, at least one person will experience GSA.

If you know of two heterosexual men who’ve met their heterosexual half-sisters, it is likely at least one of those four people has experienced GSA, even if they’ve never said or done anything to reveal that to you.

There are scientific studies that show that most people are attracted to people who look like them. When close genetic relatives are not raised together or by one another, the Westermarck Effect can hardly develop to override this attraction.  

Genetic Sexual Attraction exists and is common to introductions/reunions of close genetic relatives.

See Myth: Genetic Sexual Attraction is Just a Fancy Way of Saying Incest

See Myth: GSA is an Excuse for Pedophilia

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Friday, November 15, 2019

The Consanguinamorous and Allies Have a Place to Talk

If you're consanguinamorous or have ever been in a consanguinamorous relationship, are experiencing Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, you're a friend or family member of someone who is, or you're an ally in general, there is a good forum for you called Kindred Spirits. It's free, so come check it out, sign up with a username, and follow the instructions. The forum is based in France, which has no laws against consenting adults being consanguinamorous, but the forum is in English.

Please note:
  • Kindred Spirits is for people considering consanguinamory or who have been involved in consanguinamory, or experiencing Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, and allies, and supportive or curious friends and family.
  • It is NOT for anyone under the age of 18.
  • The forum is porn-free. There are plenty of other places to find porn with consanguinamory themes, so don't bother trying to find it at KS.
  • The forum is not for incest fetishists or anyone else looking for fap material. Again, there are plenty of other places for that.
  • The forum is not a place for haters to express their bigotry, prejudice, and ignorance. You're doing that in many other places.
  • The forum is not for any adult who engages in, or wants to advocate, abusing minors or abusing anyone.
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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Transgender Awareness Week

November 13–19 is Transgender Awareness Week!
What is Transgender Awareness Week? 
Transgender Awareness Week is a week when transgender people and their allies take action to bring attention to the community by educating the public about who transgender people are, sharing stories and experiences, and advancing advocacy around the issues of prejudice, discrimination, and violence that affect the transgender community.
We want all of our transgender friends and everyone else who loves them know that we have your back. Everyone should be free to live out their gender in the way they find best for them, and that includes being free to have the relationships that are best for them.
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Monday, November 11, 2019

Do These Relationships Work?

A search phrase that once brought someone here on which I want to focus is…
"do incest relationships work"

To answer that, one must describe what means for a relationship to "work."

For some people, a relationship only "works" if it is heterosexual and always monogamous, involves religious and civilly affirmed marriage, produces (or at least raises) children, and lasts until one of the spouses dies.

For me, a relationship "works" if you are, as a whole and excluding artificial negatives like prosecution and discrimination, better off as a result of having been in the relationship. What makes you "better off" is up to you. It could be strictly that you enjoyed this person's company, but it could also be that you had children together, or helped each other grow as people, or made new friends through the other person, or helped each other's careers, or... well, any number of things. A relationship doesn't have to last until death to leave you better off.

A sure sign a relationship isn't working is if one of you is abusing the other, or you're abusing each other.

Over the years, I've been fortunate enough to talk with countless people who've been involved in consanguinamory. A few of them have even been generous enough to be interviewed. For most of the people I've talked with, the relationships have worked. If the consanguinamory is in the past, they have fond memories of the great times that were shared and the emotional growth they had as a result, even the sexual confidence they developed. For many, the relationship continues and provides times of unmatched bliss and intense intimacy, even shared parenting that they have found fulfilling.

So yes, they can and do work.

And, by the way, some of them are heterosexual, always monogamous, produce and raise great people, and last until death, and it is an injustice that they are still discriminated against under the law whether it not they check off any of those boxes.
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Veterans Day

Today is the Veterans Day holiday in the US.

I can’t help but think of the men and women who risked their lives (and those who gave them) and endured so many things in service to their country, who weren’t and haven’t been free to be who they really are and share their lives openly with the person or persons they love.

Recent years have brought progress, and we have to fight to keep what we've gained while still looking for more progres. Problematic laws and policies remain, and, of course, LGBTQ people, the polyamorous, and consanguinamorous still endure the the threat of prosecution, persecution, or discrimination.

Shouldn’t someone who risked their life for this county be able to marry more than one person, or a biological relative? Or at least share a life with the person(s) he or she loves without a fear that their own government will be against them? Is bravery and valor negated if a man loves more than one woman, or his long lost sister? Shouldn’t a woman who served be free to marry both of the women she loves?

Let’s thank our veterans, especially those who are still being treated as second class citizens.
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Sunday, November 10, 2019

Myth: Genetic Sexual Attraction is Just a Fancy Way of Saying Incest

Reality: First of all, Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) describes an attraction, not an action, and incest is an action. So GSA is not an synonym for incest.

Not all GSA situations involve sex. However, even when it does involve sex, by definition the people involved in reunion GSA were not raised together or by one another, so were not socialized and bonded as family while growing up.

It might be classified as incest in law and biologically, but it isn’t incestuous socially.

Reunion GSA describes a specific experience that does not involve people who have been socialized as family; sex may or may not be involved.

Consider a hypothetical situation.

See Myth: GSA Doesn't Exist or is Very Rare
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Saturday, November 9, 2019

Taking the Steps

I have frequently seen the question asked, “It is incest to date my stepbrother?” or “Would marrying my stepsister be incestuous?”

Romance, dating, sex, or marriage between step relations is not literally consanguinamory, but is often subject to the same prejudices, which in some places and cases includes criminalization, as consanguinamorous relationships. With Discredited Argument #18 not a factor, the excuse to try to deny others their relationships is usually Discredited Arguments #1, 3, 19, or 21.

Although someone may try to control our relationships, we can’t effectively control what other people do with their love lives and we shouldn’t try. We don’t pick who our family members love or marry. As such, sometimes someone is brought into our lives as a step relation, such as a stepbrother, stepsister, stepmother, or stepfather whether we like it or not.

Sometimes, we like it. A lot.

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Thursday, November 7, 2019

Is It OK?

A frequently asked question is some variation of "It is OK for me to date my [fill in the blank]?"

It is sometimes asked as "Is it wrong for me to have sex with...?"

The blank is filled with a personal relation, as opposed to a professional contact. A personal relation would be a cousin, stepbrother, sister-in-law, aunt, sibling, or someone else along those lines.

Here is the easiest way to determine if it is OK.

Ask yourself these three questions:

1) Are we both/all adults (or minors close in age)?

2) Do we both/all consent to this?

3) Is it compatible with any existing agreement with another or others that we each want to keep intact?

If the answer to all three questions is YES, then it is acceptable or OK.
Some people might disapprove, but they don’t have to date or have sex with you or anyone else they don’t want to, and their opinion shouldn’t rule over your love life.

Unfortunately, in many places, there are still unjust laws discriminating against consenting adults for having sex, such as laws against gay sex or consanguineous sex or sex between certain steprelations. So while it is OK on the ethical sense, it might not be legal where you are, at least not yet. That's one of the reasons we are here to speak up for the rights of all adults. Nobody should be criminalized for sharing affection with other consenting adults.
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Wednesday, November 6, 2019

PSA: Polyandry is a Form of Polygamy

Far too many people refer to polyandry as the "opposite" of polygamy. Or people will say "Polygamy and polyandry..."

Polygamy is marriage or marriages between three or more people, regardless of gender.

Polyandry is marriage to multiple men.

Polygyny is marriage to multiple women.


So...


Polyandry is a form of polygamy.

Polygyny is a form of polygamy.

Polygamy has many forms. It can be three people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be four people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be one person, regardless of gender, with concurrent marriages to two, three, four, or more people, regardless of genders.

If everyone involved is a consenting adult, then polygamy in any form can be considered a form of polyamory, which itself is a form of ethical nonmonogamy.

This link and this link might help explain.
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Tuesday, November 5, 2019

How Genetic Sexual Attraction is Not Incest

Imagine a man and woman meet in a bar. They've never met before. They go outside for a smoke. They get into an argument and the jerk slugs her.

That is assault. But is it domestic violence?

No? What if I told you that unbeknownst to them, they have the same genetic father, a sperm donor neither one has met?

Is it domestic violence then? No?

What if... instead of slugging her, he wasn't a jerk and instead romanced her for the evening and they ended up having passionate sex.

Is that incest?

You can say it is incest biologically, but not sociologically. They were not raised together. They aren't even aware they are related yet.

Things like this have happened. Some people who experience Genetic Sexual Attraction had no idea they were genetically related before they met, fell in love, had sex, or even had children together. Even so, people ignorant of GSA or Genetic Attraction are scoffing at the defendant's statement in this case. Granted, they were apparently aware of their relation before their relationship involved statutory rape (since the age of consent in California is 18, not 16, as it is in many US states.) But that GSA happens to people unaware of their genetic relation demonstrates that GSA is real.

Judgmental finger-waggers cite the genetic connection as to why this is incest. This is because "she raised him" is not an option for why they are upset. The finger-waggers like to use that one when, say, a man and his grown stepdaughter have sexual relationship. Some finger-waggers go even further. Let's say that instead of starting a relationship with his grown stepdaughter, his son, whom the stepdaughter never lived with, meets her as an adult and starts a relationship with her. Some of the finger-waggers still say this is wrong, even if the man is no longer married to her mother.

People would use just about any argument to condemn a relationship with which they are not comfortable. But we'd all be a lot better off if we put aside our prejudices and recognized that consenting adults should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage. Even if someone is disgusted. We'd also be better off if we recognized that Genetic Sexual Attraction does exist, and it is a mitigating factor when, say, a 32 year-old woman breaks California's age of consent barrier with a 16 year-old.

The problem with calling the Atkinson case incest is that incest conjures up images of (in this case) a woman grooming the boy she is raising to be her assault victim. This is a case of Genetic Sexual Attraction and statutory rape. She did not raise him. She was not his guardian. This was a case where one of the participants was not a legal adult, able to legally consent. When the participants are consenting adults, I prefer the term consanguinamory to distinguish loving, consensual sex from images of some vile old man raping an prepubescent girl. Rape and love are not the same things.

There is no good reason why adults who are not violating existing vows to others, who are right for each other, should feel a need to refrain from being together in whatever way they want. Unfortunately, laws and prejudices in many places still need to catch up with reality. But what about finding support from others in the same situation?

Genetic Sexual Attraction is a phenomenon that may or may not actually lead to sex. However, if sex is involved, it is not incest from the sociological perspective, but still may be considered incest by outsiders, including law enforcement, as it is incest in the genetic sense. It is very easy for people who haven't experience GSA or witnessed it happening first-hand to scoff and deny it's reality. But ignorance does not determine reality. For more, read this.
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Sunday, November 3, 2019

Why? Many of the Same Reasons Anyone Else Does It

Vicky Wireko wrote at myjoyonline.com under "Reality Zone: Why would a father sleep with his biological daughter?"

Without yet getting to the text of the piece, the terms need to be defined. By "sleep," she no doubt means intercourse. But is she referring to rape or is she referring to consensual sex?  Rape and lovemaking are two different things. Rape should always be illegal. Lovemaking should never be illegal. But "biological daughter" can mean a woman the father didn't meet or didn't have a relationship with until she was an adult, or at least hasn't had a relationship with since an early age. Consanguinamory initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction has a different dynamic than consanguinamory growing from an existing sociological relationship.

Why would a father make love with his biological daughter? I'm talking about CONSENT ADULTS here.

For many of the the same reasons a man would have sex with any woman:

He's a heterosexual male and she's a receptive or initiating female he finds attractive.

They love each other.

It feels good and is fun. This is especially true when it comes to consanguinamory.

To bond.

To express love.

To have children.

Some of them have been brought together through Genetic Sexual Attraction, some of them haven't.

There are many reasons, but they shouldn't need to justify it to anyone else. Why is ultimately theirs to share, not anyone else's business. Perhaps a better question is why wouldn't/shouldn't he? Sex is not a bad thing. Those who think it is are probably doing it wrong.

What did Wireko have to say? Let's see...

Everything is certainly wrong with a father sleeping with his blood daughter.
 Does she give a reason?
It is repugnant apart from the fact that it is a taboo in our custom.
Ah, Discredited Arguments #1 and 2.

However, when a father’s love for his daughter straddles beyond parental love veering off to lust, to the extent of sexual abuse, it becomes horrendous.
Abuse and lovemaking are two different things. She goes on to write about abuse, without giving a good reason as to why consenting adults shouldn't be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage. Don't like it? Don't do it. But there ARE adult women in loving spousal-type relationships with their biological fathers, despite what prejudiced bigots think.

Please also see Intergenerational Relationships Can Work 



why would a woman sleep with her father why would a father and daughter have sex why would a parent have sex with an adult child why would a woman have sex with her father
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Friday, November 1, 2019

This is How You Contact Keith

There are multiple ways to contact Keith, the person behind this blog.

1) Email is great! It is the best way. Keith's address is fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. It also works to contact Keith at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.

2) On the Wire messaging app: fullmarriageequality

3) On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fullmarriageequality

4) Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/FullMEquality - You can send Direct Messages.

5) There is a sister Tumblr to this blog. You can submit an "ask," including anonymously. You can also send a private message if you are signed in to a Tumblr account. If you submit an ask anonymously, you can't get a private response unless you provide an email address or a Facebook or Twitter or Wire or Tumblr account at which you can be reached. Say you want a private response if you don't want it published.

6) Comment here on this blog! You can comment after this entry (below) or any other entry, and you can do so anonymously if you'd like. Again, if you submit a comment anonymously, you can't get a private response unless you provide an email address or a Facebook or Twitter or Wire or Tumblr account at which you can be reached. Say you want a private response if you don't want your comment published. Comments have to be approved to be published, so you can write stuff you want Keith to see but you don't want published.


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Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Signs of Genetic Sexual Attraction

Are you wondering that the signs or "symptoms" of Genetic Sexual Attraction or Genetic Attraction would look or feel like? Searches of that sort bring some people here. Maybe you're thinking you are experiencing GSA, or someone you know is experiencing GSA, either for you or for someone else.

Remember that GSA is a normal, natural, and common reaction to the circumstances.

GSA is a very strong, perhaps overwhelming or overpowering, attraction that can happen when one meets or reunites with a close genetic relative after having no or minimal contact since about age seven or before whether or not they know of their relation. Examples can include half-siblings who don't meet until their teens, 20s, 30s, middle age, or golden years. It can be a daughter who only has seen her father for a few minutes at a time since she was six years old and she's now 19. It can be a mother who gave up her son or daughter for adoption at birth and that child finds her at age 25. It can be a man whose brother donated sperm, and a resulting child, now an adult, has met him. There are seemingly countless other examples.

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Happy Halloween

Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you done or will you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. There are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies.

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your stories.
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New to This Blog or Looking to Find Out More?

We support the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any other union offered by law), and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. These are basic human rights under a system of gender equality and it shouldn't matter who is disgusted by the relationships of other adults or who doesn't understand why the adults would want to be together. Inherent in these rights is the right to NOT be in a relationship, NOT to marry, and to divorce or leave a relationship.

If you're viewing the desktop/laptop version, you'll see that over there in the column on the right you can find ways to connect and to follow this blog, and at the top of the page are tabs with drop-downs of some important pages, entries, and links. If you're viewing a mobile version, many of the links are below.

You are welcomed and affirmed here regardless of your gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities, and whether you are looking for more information, are in the closet or out about your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship, or want to be an ally. Are you here because of polyamory or polygamy? Perhaps you're here because this blog covers Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory (consensual incest) or because you think or know your partner has been involved? Do you need help? Whether you're a family member or friend who is looking for more information, or a journalist, or are someone who is looking to help the cause, we hope you are helped by what is here.

There's an About This Blog page, and you can read about the triad who originally inspired this blog.

There's a Glossary so that you can become familiar with terms frequently used here.

We explain why we need solidarity in supporting full marriage equality and we debunk all the arguments that you'll ever hear made against equality, so if you're against equal rights, please carefully read through that page.

On the Case Studies page we feature interviews with people who have been denied their rights, so you can "meet" people who are, or have been, in consensual loving relationships who have are harmed by the lack of equality under the law.

This blog is a labor of love. There's no advertising and we don't accept monetary contributions. Want to help? Spread the word. If you are a lawyer, attorney, or someone who works with a legal group or law firm, we'd like to hear from you if you are supportive. Also, this blog DOES accept content submissions (Keith can be contacted at... fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com), but makes no offer, implicit nor explicit, of compensation nor guarantees that it will be used. If you want to tell your story, that would be very helpful to others!

Tell us what you think by commenting or by contacting us.

Join our Facebook group "I Support Full Marriage Equality."

Keith wants to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Be Facebook friends with Keith.

Follow the Twitter account for this blog.

Follow the Tumblr blog for Full Marriage Equality

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send Keith a note at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Myths about Genetic Sexual Attraction
Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory
Bad Reasons to Deny Love
Ten Reasons Why Consensual Incest is Wrong (Sarcastic) 

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Tuesday, October 29, 2019

The Secrets of Siblings

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legallmarry his lovers, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including their country, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?


WARNING: Mildly explicit sexuality.
 Also, this interview as been edited slightly for language.


*****

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Monday, October 28, 2019

Open Letter to the Accomplished and Famous: Come Out Consanguinamorous


We know you're there. You're generally famous or at least famous in your industry, mostly because you're highly accomplished. And... you're consanguinamorous or have experience with consanguinamory. Some of you need to come out.

You're a performance artist, whether an actor or singer or musician or model.

Or you're someone who's held executive positions in the biggest companies.

Or you're an academic.
Or you're a top athlete.
Or a high ranking member of the military.
Or a journalist or author with national stature.
Or... you have some other place in life.


Whatever the case, you've "made it." You have the admiration and respect of a lot of people.

But what hardly anyone knows about you is that you are enjoying, or have enjoyed, a special relationship with a close relative, or you might even be exclusively or primarily attracted to close relatives. Maybe you have an unrequited attraction; the other person knows about it, but the two of you have not become "double bonded."


You need to seriously consider coming out.

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Sunday, October 27, 2019

Consanguinamory is Not Sick

As this blog and others have repeatedly shown, there is no good reason to keep laws, discrimination, or stigmas against consanguinamory (consanguineous or consensual incest sex or relationships) that is consistently applied to other relationships. One of the grasping-at-straws assertions that one might make when all of their justifications for denying rights fails is "people who do that are sick" or "those relationships are dysfunctional."

Before we do anything else, let's make it clear that we're talking about consensual sex and relationships, not abuse. It's not fair to point to abuse, assault, child molestation, etc. by a close relative as an example of how "incest" is "sick".

Alleging psychological problems or mental illness is something best left to mental health professionals, such as a psychiatrist (a medical doctor) or a psychologist. The opinion of someone without such credentials and some experience should be suspect. So, if someone makes the claim that we should criminalize or otherwise discriminate against consanguinamory because the behavior is based on mental illness, they should be asked 1) for their credentials; 2) if they have personally conducted an evaluation of the individuals involved and the dynamics of their relationship, and; 3) if all relationships they personally think are based on mental illness should be likewise criminalized or discriminated against. Usually, calling consanguinamory "sick" is just a thinly veiled variation on Discredited Arguments #1 and 3.

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Thursday, October 24, 2019

Three Common Misconceptions About Consanguinamory

There are three very common misconceptions about consanguinamory or consanguineous relationships, also known as consensual adult incest. These misconceptions are often invoked when someone asks why such relationships are criminalized or why laws against such relationships haven't been repealed, or when someone asks why the consanguineous freedom to marry is still denied. Clearing up these misconceptions will assist us in reaching relationship rights for all and full marriage equality sooner rather than later.


1) "The kids will be mutants!" We've cleared this up many, many times. Although most consanguineous sex does not result in children, although most sex anyone has is not to reproduce (and often the chance of reproduction is ZERO), this is the old stand-by when people want to justify their position against letting consenting adults love each other how they mutually agree. It's a very weak argument. The fact is, even when consanguinamorous relationships do create a child, it is very likely the child will be healthy. People with consanguineous parents are literally everywhere. Chances are, one of your neighbors or co-workers is such a person, maybe even someone you admire or find attractive.
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Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Living Consanguinamorously - What To Tell The Children


A question many people in consanguinamorous relationships have is
if, what, when, and how to tell their children about their relationship.


There is no one right answer because it depends on many different factors.

It will be great when we get to a point where it doesn’t even have to be a question, but since most consanguineous lovers are still living in places where such relationships face severe discrimination, often including imprisonment, it is a question some people have.

Most people in consanguinamorous relationships have children, whether they have those children together or by some other relationship or through adoption or third party reproduction, because most people in general have children, so this is an issue faced by many people.

Let’s consider some of the factors involved.

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Monday, October 21, 2019

How Has This Blog Helped You? How Can It?

Whether this is your first visit to this blog or you've visited countless times, I'd like to get a comment below (you can comment anonymously or not) or a message from you about how this blog has been of help to you, if it has.

Also, you can use the same method to ask questions you'd like answered, whether you want a private answer or want the answer posted on the blog. This blog is about helping people to be free to have the relationships to which they mutually agree and to be free to live out their gender identity, sexuality, and orientation. Questions that veer away from such matters probably won't get answered.

Depending on your situation, you might not think you have many places to go with your questions or to share what's happening in your life. That's one reason this blog is here and you may contact me.

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Saturday, October 19, 2019

Most Consanguinamorous People Are Healthy

The idea that someone who wants a relationship that appears to be different than the relationship you want must be somehow “messed up” or desperate for a partner is an old, common, and false one.

See my answer to a question on Tumblr.
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Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Spirit Day

Thursday, October 17 is Spirit Day. Among varying activities, people wear purple in support of LGBTQ youth, against bullying.

Nobody should be bullied, harassed, or discriminated against because of their gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities or those of their family members or friends.

Are you observing Spirit Day? Leave a comment telling us about it
.

How You Can Help
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Monday, October 14, 2019

Consanguinamorous Youth

This blog is about equal rights for consenting adults.

But what about minors? It is dangerous to ignore that many minors experiment, explore, and get affectionate with each other. I'm talking about age peers. If an older person is coercing you, or messing with you while you (try to) sleep, that's NOT what this is about. Don't let anyone abuse you!

Much of this entry on how consanguinamorous people can protect themselves is relevant, as can this entry on living together.

This essay is a result of someone anonymous contacting this blog's sister Tumblr to describe a situation he had experienced in his life and to ask if there are any resources to help people who are currently in the position he'd been in so many years ago.

A subsequent message was from a teacher who had to report minors who've revealed their experiences with consanguineous sex, due to mandatory reporting laws that apply to people in certain jobs.

What do you do if you're in a consanguineous relationship or you think you have a consanguinamorous orientation, but you're under the age of consent or not a legal adult?

Please note: Most of this entry is going to be strictly about how things are and practical situations, not about the morality of any given situation or actions. While we welcome all adults and anyone struggling due to prejudice against their gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationships, this entry is NOT endorsing or advocating underage sex or anything else illegal.

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Saturday, October 12, 2019

Marriage Doesn't Have to be Monogamous


More and more people are questioning whether the polygamous freedom to marry should continue to be denied anywhere. At the forum community.babycentre.co.uk, MonaVanderwaal asked...
Should marrying more than one person be allowed in the UK?
Yes!
At the moment it is a crime punishable for up to seven years in prison.
Do you think it is an outdated law?
It's a ridiculous and unjust law.
If three+ people could prove they are happy in the arrangement, would this change your mind?
Visibility is important, but this is a basic matter of freedom of association. People have a fundamental right to marry. Some people are polyamorous or otherwise want more than one spouse. If all are consenting adults, there's no good reason to deny them their rights. You don't need to be aware of the polyamorous people around you who are in happy, long-term relationships to understand that all adults should have their rights.

Let's look at a few of the responses.

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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Coming Out Consanguinamorous


Introduction

"Coming out" means declaring or no longer hiding that you're consanguinamorous in orientation or in a consanguinamorous relationship. Whether, when, to whom, and how to come out is something that can weigh on the mind of a consanguinamorous person.

Getting to decide whether, when, to whom, and how to come out is a privilege that is sometimes denied people who are outed against their will or by accident. Consanguinamorous people should seriously consider how to protect themselves.


Please note this entry is about coming out in general, such as to family, friends, etc., not about coming out to a romantic/sexual/spousal partner. That has many different considerations and warrants its own entry.

Stay in the Closet If/Until...

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Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Coming Out Day

Even with the US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBTQ people in the US and other countries, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Friday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBTQ, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.
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Sunday, October 6, 2019

Tale as Old as Time

This blog is about relationship rights for all adults, especially the right to marry any and all consenting adults. It is not about criticizing nor promoting any philosophy towards religion, spiritual considerations, superstitions, the paranormal or supernatural, any religious text or writings/traditions/beliefs/practices/systems/organizations considered sacred, inspired, of authoritative by some, nor skepticism when it comes to such things.

There are both allies and opponents of relationship rights and full marriage equality in just about every religion and among those who claim no religion, and I welcome allies no matter what tradition, if any, they prefer or reject.

With that out of the way…

Considering the Bible as literature, which anyone can do whether they are a devout Christian, a Deist, a Hindu, an Atheist, or an Antitheist or take some other path, one can see that the Bible implies, outright portrays, and further addresses consanguineous sex.

Frequently, someone will ask “Where did Cain get his wife?” or “Did Adam and Eve’s children have sex with each other?” or some variation. Whether someone considers this speculation about fanciful myths or actual history is irrelevant to analyzing what the text itself says.

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Friday, October 4, 2019

Laws Vary Regarding Relationships Between Consenting Adults

We've heard so many different misunderstandings about laws as they apply to relationships and sex between consenting adults. Here in the US, it is especially understandable because laws vary from state to state. There are, of course, fifty states, but there are also other jurisdictions such as the District of Columbia, territories, such as Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands, and there are also federal laws, military codes, and laws that apply to "Indian reservations" (small areas where indigenous peoples have some level of self-determination).

If you are concerned about the laws where you are or where you're considering moving, it would be a good idea to see if the laws of that location are searchable online and to consult an attorney who specializes in family or criminal law for that jurisdiction. An experienced lawyer can tell you about how often a law is enforced even if it is still in effect, and might be able to point out ways someone could make it less likely they'd ever be prosecuted.

Some states have laws still on the books that have been ruled unconstitutional by the Supreme Court. The only reason to still have those laws is a deranged hope that the Court decision will eventually be reversed.

Unmarried sex or cohabitation, interracial relationships, same-sex relationships, certain sex positions, even using contraception or sex toys have all been illegal in some places in the US. It might seem shocking, but it is true.

As the show "Sister Wives" detailed, Utah has been the last state to enforce a law against polyfidelity, or at least saying more than one person is your spouse. We're not even talking about insurance coverage or anything like that. Simply saying that you have more than one spouse is illegal. It's outrageous, but true.

When it comes to consanguinamory, confusion ranges from "I thought it was illegal everywhere for cousins to have sex" to "There are no laws against consenting adults having sex, no matter how closely related." Both statements are false.

The fact is, first cousins are incarcerated for having sex in a handful of US states. But about half of US states will allow first cousins to legally marry (and the list of states isn't what stereotypes would have you believe), although some of them have some restrictions. That leaves many states where where they can have sex, live together, raise children together, but can't legally marry. Outrageous, but true.

As far as relatives closer than that, in general, 47 states have laws against relatives closer than first cousins having sex. Ohio allows siblings to be together. Rhode Island and New Jersey have no laws against adults being together, no matter how closely related. Some other states apparently haven't criminalized sex between adults and their uncles or aunts (outside of old, overturned laws that criminalized unmarried sex, given that these people weren't allowed to marry.)

None of the states will knowingly allow relatives closer than first cousins to legally marry, with certain exceptions in certain states for uncles and nieces, for example, mostly a nod to traditions from foreign cultures. Traditions are not respected, however, when it comes to having more than one legal spouse.

Note that these criminalization laws and laws denying marriage rights tend to apply to genetic ("blood") relatives even if they were legally adopted to different families and never met until well into adulthood.

Some states may have relied on criminalization of homosexuality (which was overturned) and thus might not have anti-incest laws that technically criminalize same-sex consanguinmory. Laws can get very specific, outlawing certain sex acts but not others between certain people. Yes, as silly as it sounds, some specific sex acts that don't harm anyone have been illegal in some places.

The patchwork of unjust laws needs to be changed. There shouldn't be anywhere in the US (or any other country for that matter) where consenting adults are denied their basic rights to have a mutual relationship that includes whatever form of sex they want to have, living together, and, if they want, marriage, or any other union or partnership offered under law. Nobody should fall in love and then worry that if they move for a job they won't be able to marry in their new state or might even be criminals.

There's no good reason to deny these rights. In the US, it should be obvious that legal precedents have determined that such discrimination is unjust and unconstitutional. But people are understandably confused as many unjust laws are still enforced.
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Wednesday, October 2, 2019

LGBTQ History Month

October is LGBTQ History Month. This isn't to be confused with Pride Month (June).

There is a deep, rich history to explore, a history that has been hidden, ignored, or denied for far too long.

There are two things we can do for the people who came before us. 

1) We can remember their contributions and sacrifices and the injustices they endured.

2) We can honor them by ensuring all have their rights sooner rather than later. One of those is full marriage equality.

Let adults have the relationships to which they mutually agree. Let them live out their identities and orientations authentically, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
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Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory

I’ve noticed some common myths expressed about sibling consanguinamory. In this instance, by consanguinamory, I mean everything from curious exploration and experimenting to erotic romance, including masturbating in front of each other, erotic kissing, sexual touching or rubbing, oral sex, intercourse, etc.

This entry is NOT addressing molestation, assault, or abuse.

I’m referring to adult siblings, or minor siblings who are close in age, engaging in mutual affection or experimentation, without coercion, force, or intimidation. It may be two siblings alone, it may be three or more siblings, or it may be two or more siblings involved together with one or more people outside of the immediate family.

These myths need to be addressed, because they perpetuate inequality, discrimination, hardship, confusion, stigmas, ignorance, and fear.

Myth #1 “It doesn’t happen” or “It happens very rarely” or “I don’t know anyone who has done this.” Just because one person hasn’t been involved or doesn’t remember being involved with sibling doesn’t mean it isn’t happening with others. It is, and it always has. Ongoing sexual relationships between siblings are common enough that everyone knows someone who is, or has been in, such a relationship, and far more siblings than that have had an encounter or experimented, explored, or played doctor. Reality: We all know people who've been involved, whether we know it or not.
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Sunday, September 29, 2019

What About Donor-Conceived People Getting Together?


The National Infertility and Adoption Education Organization has a Question and Answer about “Accidental Incest between Donor Conceived People.”
Q: How worried should I be about inadvertent partnering of two donor conceived half siblings from the same donor?
The main worry is an artificial one... undue criminalization of such relationships.

From their answer...
While the fear is understandable, many professionals believe the fear is not well founded. For example, we asked this question to Ole Schou, founder and CEO of Cryos International sperm banks, who has researched and spoke to professional groups on this issues. [Note that he is not a native English speaker.]

“There is no reason to be concerned about accidental incest between donor conceived children/adults. The risk is extremely low. Professionals call the risk consanguinity or inbreeding. It is also described as incest. However, this word is surrounded by many taboos and connected to something morally wrong, and is not the best word to use in this situation.
I agree.
The concern is for the increase in recessive DNA disorders in children where the parents DNA are too closely matched. Remember that all humans have plenty of these recessive genes (C.J. Bell 2011).

However, the risk may only be increased some few percentage in comparison to normal procreation. So this is not much. It is more a problem if it continues generation after generation.
That is what we’ve been saying.
This is not relevant for donors as it is only a one generation issue.

Further, the risk that two half siblings from the same donor meet each other is generally very little if the sperm bank distribute internationally or worldwide.
It might be tempting for someone working for a sperm bank to claim that if a donor-conceived person walks into a room with 100 people in it, one conceived from the same donor, and chooses one person to approach, there is only a 1% chance it will be their half-sibling (if we’re talking egg or sperm donation, full sibling if we’re talking donated embryos). However, there odds are probably going to be much higher because of the shared genes. That is one reason Genetic Sexual Attraction happens. Sharing genes can cause people to be strongly attracted to each other. This is going to happen more and more as more and more people, for reasons including donation as well as many other reasons, are raised apart from close genetic relatives.

Donors are often screened for genetic problems, so that is a plus for avoiding problems.

Anyway, it is interesting to see what they had to say about risks to children born of consanguineous parents.

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Saturday, September 28, 2019

Is Polyamory Just Another Word For Swinging or an Open Relationship?

NO.

These three terms are not synonymous.

All three ARE forms of ethical nonmonogamy or consensual nonmonogamy.


Swinging can involve unattached individuals, but usually involves established couples (or even triads, quads, etc.) in group encounters with others, in which the focus is on casual sex. Sure, the people involved can be friends, even close and longtime friends, they might even love each other, but what's going on is that people get together at sex parties.

Open relationships, including open marriages, are relationships in which there is an existing, established bond, but those in the relationship have agreed that they are open to new partners, whether they are short term or long term partners.

There is also swapping, in which people in a relationship trade partners with people in another relationship, mostly for sex. This is usually done with just two or three couples, as opposed to at a party.

Polyamory means having a romantic, dating, courting, nesting, or spousal relationship with more than one person, with the agreement of all. It takes on many, many forms. It could be a triad who live as spouses to each other. It could involve a married couple who also have girlfriends/boyfriends they see individually or together. It could be four people who are dating each other on an ongoing basis. There are countless forms of polyamory. Some people are polyamorous as an orientation.

Some polyamorous relationships are open. Some are closed. Some polyamorous people engage in swapping and/or swinging, some don't.

Many people who are in open relationships or who swing or swap don't consider themselves polyamorous, especially if they're only looking for casual sex when they get with people outside of their relationships.

There are people in open relationships who are not swingers and do not engage in swapping. There are people who will do swapping but don't consider themselves swingers. There are swingers who do not identify their relationship as open, especially if the only time and place they will get sexual with others is at a swingers club/party.

So, the terms mean different things. And there are other forms of ethical nonmonogamy.


"Yeah, but aren't these all just different words for cheating?"

NO!

Cheating is breaking the rules.

Ethical or consensual nonmonogamy means that the people involved have agreements ("rules") that allow for what they are doing.

To be sure, there are people who are involved in these forms of ethical/consensual nonmonogamy who are sometimes involved in cheating, but that is because they broke the rules.

It is up to the people involved in a relationship what the terms of their relationship will be, and if and when those terms will change. As people go through life, their desires and needs can change and they might revisit the terms to modify them.

We need to ensure that adults, regardless of gender, can share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those things without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. There is no good reason our laws shouldn't protect these rights, and institutions and service providers need to except and account for the fact that some people are nonmonogamous, and not assume everyone is monogamous or wants monogamy, and certainly not try to force people to be monogamous.
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Thursday, September 26, 2019

These Are Not Arguments

This has been added to our Discredited Arguments page, which you'll find to be very helpful in answering the usual arguments that are really flimsy attempts to justify prejudice.

NOT EVEN ARGUMENTS: 1) Labeling or describing something, even accurately, is NOT an argument. For example, saying "That's homosexuality!" does not make a claim as to why it shouldn't be allowed or why it should be discriminated against. 2) Stating an opinion, such as that something is "wrong" or "immoral" is not an argument, either. It indicates WHAT someone thinks, but not WHY. 3) Claiming to have made an accurate prediction that someone would want their rights, such as "I said this would happen!" isn't an argument. 4) Appealing to the very law in question, by saying "It's illegal!" isn't an argument (and, it isn't always true, either, depending on location.) The very thing being argued is whether something should be illegal or otherwise discriminated against.


Here's the full page.
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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Not Too Close For Comfort

A comment came in on our popular entry "Aunts and Nephews"...
I'm currently in an active sexual relationship with my nephew. We aren't blood or marriage related. His mom and I are best friends and I helped raise him. The last time I saw him he was 11, we reunited now that he's 18 approaching 19. I'm 34. The attraction was instant and mutual. I feel like I am betraying my friend however, the amount of enjoyment and satisfaction I get from this guy is worth the risk. I think she suspects we're intimate but there's no proof. Her boyfriend is quite jealous that I don't look in his direction and tried to out nephew and I... Good luck, we both deny until we die! I don't want to stop, and neither does he. Any thoughts?
It's time to write a long-overdue essay on "fauxcest" or "nearcest" of whatever else this can be called. So that's below. But first, let's answer the questions raised Anonymous.

1) You two are consenting adults. You should be free to have this relationship. There's nothing wrong with having this relationship.

2) "I feel like I am betraying my friend..." This is not a rational reaction. It is a feeling that is based in prejudices and faulty reasoning. Your "nephew" would certainly be sexually active with someone, whether his mother is comfortable with that thought or not. Why is it is a bad thing that is with someone who already knows and cares about him? Sex isn't a bad thing, unless you are doing it wrong.

Someone might say to you "He's young enough to be your son" or to him "She's old enough to be your mother." But so what? Someone might go a step further and say he must be harboring a secret desire for his mother and you for your son (if you have one). That may or may not be true, but even if true, neither of you would find any scolding from us. It is very common for people to find someone who is like one of their parents or siblings, for example.

There's a chance your relationship will be outed (some of this advice might be helpful). And, it is likely that if that happens, your friend will be very upset with you. She might try to attribute her anger to the secrecy, but that would most likely just be an excuse. Neither of you is under any obligation to tell her the details of your sex life. If she finds out and is angry, give her time to cool off. You can tell her you understand her feelings without denying your entitlement to your love life. Many parents get upset at the thought of their child (even though their child is an adult) having sex. Some people get upset that someone they know is having sex  with someone to whom they're related. Neither reaction is based on logic, but rather things like aversion to change, feeling old, and even envy.

After she cools  off, she might realize that it can be a better thing that her son is with someone who has already known and cared for him. Some of this applies.


Enjoy what you have. There's no reason you shouldn't. Goodness knows there are many people out there who are miserable in a relationship or lonely. Why deprive anyone, especially yourself, of happiness?
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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Why Russia Needs Full Marriage Equality

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted, even in places like Russia, where their relationships are not criminlized. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legallmarry his spouse and mother of his children, yet they can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Ivan: I’m a 24-year-old lawyer working mostly from home. I live in Moscow now with my sister and our four children.

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Monday, September 23, 2019

It's Ally Week

Ally Week is a student-led program so that LGBTQ K-12 students and LGBTQ educators lead the conversation on what they need from their allies in school.

Ally Week 2019 is September 23-27. Student leaders and K-12 educators can register for Ally Week 2019 HERE.
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Finding Love With the One With You All Along

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legallmarry her spouse, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including their country, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?


WARNING: Mild sexuality.
 


*****

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