Monday, March 21, 2011

Another Ally for Consanguinamory

sirnasty dismantles arguments against consanguineous sex

Argument: It’s gross, ew! Icky!

Yes, this is Discredited Argument #1

Rebuttal: Same “argument” used by anti-gay folks, or people that don’t like anal or any other sexual practice that doesn’t fall into “heterosexual white cisgendered missionary-position sex for the purposes of procreation”. If you don’t personally like it, that’s not actually an argument for keeping other people from participating in it. I don’t care for sports because everyone ends up covered in dirt and sweat and grime and that’s gross and icky for me, but that doesn’t mean SPORTS SHOULD THEREFORE BE ILLEGAL.


Argument: It’s just unnatural. I could never be attracted to my mother/sister/brother/father/whoever. They’re FAMILY.

Discredited Arguments #3 and 5.

If you’re not attracted to a family member, that’s fine….most people aren’t either. But some folks ignore that biological imperative and become attracted to their family members and…that’s fine too! It’s a personal decision and isn’t affecting you in any way, so why do you care?


Argument: But if two family members have sex, their children will be deformed!

Discredited Argument #18.

Rebuttal: What is the actual rate of genetic abnormalities amongst children born of incest? What is the actual percentage risk? Putting that aside, way to be heteronormative! Not all incestual relationships are female/male pairings, and not every sexual encounter people have results in children! I’m gonna go into a moral grey area here: no one chooses to be born or miscarried or aborted. A uterus-owner receives news that their offspring, if they choose to bear it, will have a genetic abnormality. They can choose to abort it or give birth. What would you say to this person? “Don’t abort! People with disabilities have every right to live!” Well ok, what are you going to say to the incestuous couple that gets pregnant? Are you going to automatically assume that the child will have some sort of disability?


There are other arguments, such as loss of familial order (if a grandmother and a grandson have a child, what is the child’s relation to both of them? What is the child’s relation to the rest of the family?),

Discredited Argument #19.

coercion through familial power dynamics,

Discredited Argument #20.

The only real objective I have to incest is if they choose to have a child. I don’t think it’s wrong and it’s not even the chance of genetic abnormalities that sets me off, but if it were me I wouldn’t be able to have a child with my brother and then force him into a world where his parents relationship was labelled as wrong. I chose as consenting adult to enter an incestuous relationship and deal with the ridicule and social rejection, but to do that to a child who had no choice in being born. I couldn’t do it.

I believe that if this was 70 years ago and I was a gay individual, I would have the same thoughts about bringing a child into this world.

We should not let bullying by the prejudiced to stop us from living our lives. Going forward in the face of bigotry changes minds.

Looks like progress is being made.
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  1. I was just having this conversation with my mom this weekend ... she is big into genealogy and just found out that her great great grandfather was also her great great uncle (or something like that - don't quote me on specifics - lol) through another line. the towns were small, everybody was related by some stretch of the thread, and life needed to go on.

    do I desire any of my relatives? (well, other than the huge crush I had on a second cousin when I was 10) - no. but who I am to tell you that you are wrong because you happen to be (of consenting age ... AND) attracted to your uncle?

    is it sad that I feel compelled to have to add the consenting age part? I get defensive because I feel that is the biggest argument I get struck with when I express my feelings on topics such as these. anyway ... I'm off topic now

  2. Why do I always find my typing mistakes after publishing?

    Diane, thanks for your thoughtful contributions. I would be interested in hearing the exact relationship of acestry. Such a thing could have been through marriage rather than blood. But blood connections are not uncommon. Some states allow first cousins to marry. Having a crush on a second cousin is hardly scandal ;-)

    Yes, it is sad to have the make the distinction. So many people, when they hear the word "incest," think of a drunken, abusive father and his twelve-year-old girl. That is rape and child molestation and should be vigorously prosecuted. This is why I prefer using the terms "consanguineous sex/marriage" and "consanguinarmory." Most people will ask, "What does that mean?" That is when I say, "Sex/marriage/love between adults who are closely related." If they say, "eew!" then I point out that just about everyone feels that way about SOME form of sex. On this blog, I've referenced a lesbian who is sickened at the thought of man-woman sex, for example. Most straight men don't want to think about two men having sex, but most of those straight men wouldn't want it to be illegal.


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