Asked and Answered

I’m continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors. Most of my appeals have been granted, restoring those specific answers.

If you don’t follow me on Quora already, please do so and upvote my answers, if you’re so inclined.

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https://www.quora.com/Has-anybody-had-sex-with-both-mom-and-daughter-at-same-time/answer/Keith-Pullman

Has anybody had sex with both mom and daughter at same time?

Keith Pullman

advocate for relationship rights for all consenting adults.3y

I have had sex with a mom and daughter at the same time. The mother didn’t raise the daughter, who found her after becoming an adult. They experienced reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction for each other. They had plenty of sex with each other without me, but lucky me, they started to include me sometimes. There’s a lot more to this but I’m sticking to what directly answers the question.

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NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers. Someone asked a question. I gave a sincere and careful answer.

If you want to contact me privately, I can be reached on the Wire messaging service at fullmarriageequality or via email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Still a Happy Triad

This blog is about achieving full marriage equality and related issues, not me, Keith. But this time around, I’m necessarily part of the story. I have interviewed my good friends before, but this interview is more of a chat between four people, led mostly by me, than me interviewing three people. I had an idea what they were going to say, as I already knew the answers to most of my questions, but I wanted to allow others to get a glimpse of what amounts to a marriage that is denied legal recognition.

I strongly recommend reading previous entries about my friends. To make a long story as short as possible, "Linda" was a good friend of mine before we started dating on a casual basis because we enjoyed each other’s company. (And because she’s hot.) Linda had two children when she was very young, both of whom were adopted and raised separately by other people. Linda’s biological daughter, Melissa, got in contact with her, and came to meet her. Because of what was likely Genetic Sexual Attraction, they got together (both women can be described as bisexual). Since I’m open-minded and they’re open-minded and Linda and I did not have a commitment to be monogamous with each other, I was able to see their love and support it. As a result, I was still around when Linda’s other child, Matthew, reunited with her and met his sister Melissa. Matthew, also experiencing GSA, didn’t stand a chance of avoiding the inevitable. They became a happy triad, I became inspired to blog for full marriage equality, and I’m still around.

The transcript is below...

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Linda Had a Good Mother’s Day

For those of you who haven't yet done so, check out this page. It gives background on Linda, Matthew, and Melissa (not their real names). I asked Linda about her Mother's Day, and she gave me permission to post our chat.

So how was your Mother’s Day?

Linda: It was quite a celebration, actually. ;-)


How does that work for all of you, exactly? You don’t have the greeting card Mother’s Day situation going on.

Linda: As much as I had wanted to, I know I didn’t raise them. They don't call me Mom. But I did give them life and I’ll gladly accept credit for that. It has been so nice getting to know them as adults and seeing the people they’ve become. They want to acknowledge me on Mother’s Day, and I’m not going to turn that down. I’ve encouraged them to also show their appreciation and respect for the people who’ve raised them, including for Father’s Day, birthdays, and holidays. Mother’s Day is no different.


What did Matthew and Melissa do for you to mark the day?

Linda: There was a greeting card! They just made it themselves. It was a great day. They insisted I sleep in, then brought me breakfast in bed with the card they created together, along with a couple of presents. They wouldn’t let me lift a finger around the house all day. And they didn’t leave any of it for me to do on Monday.


Sounds like a regular Mother's Day. That doesn’t sound atypical at all.

Linda: Well, no, but there’s much more. They have such busy lives and we were apart for so many years that the best thing they could give me was simply time together. So we went for a bit of a hike and enjoyed a picnic they had put together for lunch.

Once we got back home, they drew me a bath. Then they had a professional masseuse come in and give me this really great massage, just incredibly relaxing.

For dinner, they had my favorite delivered.


And…?

A Happy Triad That Deserves Equality

I'd added another page. The triad who inspired this blog let me interview them.

The Kindness of Strangers

I haven’t written much about the “PCM” that inspired me to start blogging. As I’ve said, my friends are private people and somewhat shy and guarded, as they can be prosecuted in most states in our nation simply for expressing their love for each other in certain ways. There aren’t too many people who know the true nature of their relationship. If they go some place other than where they are known, they can be more open with their affection, to varying degrees. There are still places hostile to even mere same-sex hand-holding, or an older woman with a younger man. And of course, unless you’re at a specifically poly gathering, you are unlikely to see three or more people flirting with each other. Even in an environment that welcomes all of those things, revealing their biological relationships could bring trouble.

Conversely, if someone knows their biological connection, then Linda, Matthew, and Melissa probably will have to hold back on the flirting and affection. In such a situation, I can play the boyfriend to either Linda or Melissa, which I don’t mind in the least of course, but it is sad that they have to hold back and be careful about each other.

They long for the law and society to stop trying to limit or punish their love for each other. I do too. Ideally, they should have the option to legally marry. It seems society is moving that way, but it is doing so at a painfully slow rate.

This brings me to the kindness of strangers to which I referred in the title. Some people are more understanding, even supportive. One of them is, supposedly, a complete stranger. I say “supposedly” because the world can be small and who knows who you are really dealing with online? But this stranger, an ordained minister, actually offered to marry Linda, Matthew, and Melissa. It wouldn’t be legally recognized, but at least it would be something. The offer itself, though, is so touching, especially since it comes from a stranger. I’ll let the stranger identify himself if he chooses, He knows who he is.

As it turns out, we know an ordained minister who has already offered to put the “M” in this PCM. My friends are thinking about it (and I think they will accept the offer). Even though it wouldn’t be legally binding or recognized, there are many considerations. Would they be “giving up” by getting married without legal recognition? I say no, but they have to be true to themselves. I say they should take what they can get, and that brings me to another consideration… that they would be making vows to each other in front of witnesses, vows that would be important to them even without legal recognition. The relationship is still relatively new, and Melissa and Matthew are still on the younger side when it comes to the age people are marrying these days. As Melissa puts it, she'd be hesitant to get married at this age even if she was in a long-term relationship with someone she could legally marry. They all agree that things are better than they could have imagined in terms of their feelings for each other and how they get along, but they also know the outside pressures are probably going to be around for a while. That's a lot to consider.

With so much hate and animosity in the world, it is nice to have the kindness of strangers, or in this case, one stranger.

A Little About Who I Am, Or Not

Time to talk about the behind-the-scenes stuff around here, as opposed to the latest news around the world. More specifically, who I am not. I don’t think I’ve been clear enough – I’m not Linda, Matthew, or Melissa. I count all three as friends. I am a poly male. I am not involved (at least, I haven't been) with any of MY biological relatives.

Linda, Matthew, and Melissa are great, normal people. Their bonds with each other are beautiful and inspiring. I'm a bit envious, actually, but not in a mean way. I enjoy being with them.

They are too shy or reserved or cautious to do the blogging themselves. So with their permission I took it up, as long as I keep their identities private. I plan to write more about them and my connection with them soon.

I am passionate about the freedom to marry. If anyone should have it, they should. They are wonderful people and very loving to each other.

Why I Started This Blog

Meet Melissa. No, I’m not putting up her picture, because until there is change, she faces too much persecution. But imagine a bright, beautiful, healthy, kind young woman who has matured from a fairly happy childhood. She has received a Sociology degree from a top university and is working on her Masters in addition to having started her career.

A couple of years ago, Melissa met an older woman - older to her, anyway - named Linda and felt an instant connection with her. It turns out the feeling was mutual. They found that they were attracted to each other in many ways, including physically – after all, both Linda and Melissa are what most people would consider attractive.

They would have married if they could, but they can’t. It isn’t because they are both women. Women can marry each other in several places in the United States. It is because Linda is Melissa’s biological mother, and the law will not allow them to marry.

Melissa was raised mainly by her paternal grandparents, who fought for custody of Melissa. At the time, Linda was still a teenager, and from very modest means, while Melissa’s paternal grandparents were very well off and had excellent legal representation, and to be fair, were capable of providing Melissa with an intact, stable home with two parents.

Melissa’s father, tragically, died young.

But this isn’t the whole story. Linda had previously given birth by the same father, her teenaged sweetheart. When Linda’s mother found out she was impregnated at age 15, she sent Linda away from her sweetheart to be with relatives in another state. Linda’s sweetheart was kept in the dark about her pregnancy. He did not know where she was, or that she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Matthew, who was put up for adoption.

At 18, Linda, as a legal adult, reunited with her sweetheart, and that is when she got pregnant by him a second time.

Things got tumultuous.

After the dust settled, Linda had lost her sweetheart to death and Melissa to her sweetheart’s parents. Linda had a tough time moving forward.

But she did.

She became an accomplished professional and a good citizen, contributing to her community. She attracted lots of romantic interest, and discovered that she was not only attracted to men. But she never quite found someone with whom she wanted to share the rest of her life, until Melissa came back into her life.

Linda and Melissa found that one of the things they have in common is their attraction to both men and women. Since they had already fallen in love with each other despite legal and social discouragements, it wasn’t too surprising that when Matthew made contact with Linda, his birth mother, and met both her and Melissa, that they all fell in love with each other. They want to share their life together.

It is possible that Linda, Melissa, and Matthew are experiencing what has been described as Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). Whatever labels are applied to it, they describe - and their behavior demonstrates – a deep, warm, caring, affectionate love that goes beyond public approved mother-child or sibling relationships.

Because of bigotry in law, in social circles, and elsewhere, they are not free to be open in their love for each other; they do not reveal the true level and nature of their connection to each other to more than a handful of people, but they hope that not only will the law allow them to openly express their true love, but that they will be able to marry.

Those of us who do know them know that they are in love and deserve marriage equality. They should be able to share a home with all of the legalities of marriage, and all of the social support that anybody else gets when they marry. Can we count on your support?

(Names have been changed to protect these consenting, taxpaying adults from oppression, harassment, prejudice, and bigotry.)