Why GSA Will Become Even More Common

Genetic Sexual Attraction is going to become a bigger and bigger issue, and this is one reason why. This isn't the first time that someone involved in IVF or handling sperm for professional purposes has substituted their own sperm. This report comes from fox59.com in Indiana... [This entry has been bumped up.]

Now, retired doctor, Donald Cline, is charged with two felony counts of obstruction of justice for statements he made to investigators.

Those charges come after a lengthy investigation by FOX59’s Angela Ganote.

Last May, she spoke with a group of eight siblings, and according to court documents, Cline is a DNA match for all of them. The now retired doctor allegedly admitted to some of the siblings his sperm could have been used up to 50 times.

That's just what he's admitted to.

New Year Resolutions

Do you make New Year's resolutions? Have you been thinking about it?

May we suggest some? In no particular order...

• I resolve to support the rights of adults, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those things without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
  
• I resolve to be personally available as an ally to anyone in my life who faces discrimination, bullying, or mistreatment on the basis of their gender identity, sexual orientation, or the type of relationships they have.
  
• I resolve to be welcoming and supportive of anyone who comes out to me, whether they are coming out to reveal their gender identity, their sexual orientation, or their relationship.

Maybe this year won't be about a resolution in the traditional sense, but about a personal goal. Maybe you've been considering coming out, whether in general or to a few people in particular? Or maybe you've been considering pursuing a relationship, or adding something to an existing relationship? Whether you take action or not should be up to you (and anyone else who has to consent to the action, if that applies). Either way, know you are supported here.

Do you have plans? Are you going to make resolutions? Feel free to comment below, including anonymously, or to contact Keith.

Happy New Year!

Search of the Day

Someone came to this blog by searching...

Mums and sons in GSA explosive sex

Having talked with hundreds of mothers who've had sex with their adult son and hundreds of adult men who've had sex with the mother, I can say that whether they were reunion GSA cases or the son was raised by the mother, the sex is usually "explosive." Not always, but often it is.

There are people shocked and disgusted by the thought, but this is the truth whether anyone else likes it or not.

The older woman-younger man pairing can be quite a match in the first place, but when the "double love" or "double bond" of consanguinamory is added, you get mother-son relationships in which those who've experienced them find it hard to describe just how powerful the experiences can be.

Those who have had these experiences often report that nothing else compares.

Neither person has to be "conventionally" attractive or in the best of shape (although some are) for this to be the case. The attraction can be be strong and the feelings extremely intense. Mothers are often surprised just how much their son wants them and delights in adding that bond. Even their own feelings might surprise them. Some sons, likewise, are surprised at how their relationship develops.

As with any relationship, there can be problems, but without the complications of cheating being involved, the biggest issue, usually, is allowing societal prejudices to cause emotional conflict.

It is more common than you think. Right now, not far from you, there are a mother and son who are in the heat of passion, having the time of their lives, loving and being loved, closer than they've ever been before.

There is no good reason adults who are free to be together and want to share sexual affections, with or without romance, should be denied their rights.

Are you having feelings like this for your mother or son? Do you think or know your mother or your son has these feelings for you? If you're involved, or used to be, or considering getting involved, you are encouraged to contact Keith. You can also comment below, including anonymously.

(By the way, all of the above also goes for mothers and daughters, fathers and daughters, and fathers and sons.)

Hate Adds Pain to Genetic Sexual Attraction and GSA Relationships

I'm bumping up this entry I wrote a while back because there are people who need to see it.

Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) is a condition that may be experienced when close genetic relatives who have been separated for significant amounts of time, often since birth or before puberty, are reunited or introduced. It describes an intense physical and/or emotional attraction, and may include sexual attraction or be expressed through sex. The attraction may or may not be mutual. Even if mutual, not all GSA results in sexual contact. (Some people prefer the term "Genetic Attraction.")

Reading accounts or watching documentaries about those struggling with GSA feelings or related actions can be heartbreaking. There are many reasons as to why.

First of all, there are all of the problems that come with any attraction or any relationship. One person is attracted to someone else and that attraction is not mutual, or is mutual only for period of time. Relationships involve at least two different people who are trying to get along with each other and to deal with those outside the relationship as well. This can all be increased when the individuals are biologically related.

This new attraction and resulting relationship can bring change, disruption, and uncertainty to someone’s life, which is again something that may happen in general relationships as well, but can be more of an issue with biological relatives and the strong pull of GSA. This is especially a problem when someone has made a life and perhaps has existing vows with someone else. For example, a married, monogamous woman who gets in contact with a biological half-brother and finds herself strongly attracted to him and wanting to spend time with him, with or without sex. The time and attention taken from her marriage may be enough of a problem, but add sexual cheating to the mix, and it is even worse. She may love and value her husband, but feels this intense connection or draw to her half-brother that must be suppressed if she wants to have a chance to save her marriage. In that case, either choice is painful. Or what if she doesn’t want to save her marriage? What if it was dying before the GSA issue surfaced? Divorce is usually a painful experience anyway.

Some people experiencing GSA are disturbed by their feelings (or the feelings of their relative) because they feel a need to have that person in their life as a sibling, a parent, or a child, and they see sexual attraction or sex as incompatible with that role. They may feel like they finally had something they were missing for so long, only to have it taken away by unexpected or unwanted feelings and resulting tensions. Just the unfamiliar nature of these feelings may be bothersome.

In addition to all of the usual problems someone with an unrequited attraction or a mutual attraction between people can bring, one that is different with GSA is, of course, the legal, familial, social, and religious prohibitions imposed against sex with and marriage to close relatives. Incest between consenting adults is still criminalized in many places, including most US states, and bigotry against people in such relationships or experiencing such attraction continues to be perpetuated, sometimes in the most hateful and harmful ways.

This is sometimes compounded by a lack of solidarity. Even if there is a GSA relationship that didn’t break up any existing families, marriages, or relationships, and the individuals are happy together and able to share their lives in a functional way despite legal and social challenges, they may be rebuffed or judged when they reach out for understanding and support from others. Other people experiencing GSA who have decided not to have sexual relationship or have ended a sexual relationship or want to end their sexual relationship may disapprove of those who want to engage in or continue their sexual relationship. Or, if the GSA relationship is intergenerational, interracial [biracial with non-biracial], same-sex, or polyamorous, other people experiencing GSA may express disapproval based on one of those factors (in addition to all of the other people who disapprove based on those factors). Finally, those who have recently struggled or are still struggling for their own freedom to marry or just the basic freedom of association, such as LGBT people or poly people, may express contempt for consanguineous sex and love, including in cases where GSA is factor, or may be unsupportive of those in GSA relationships gaining the freedom to marry. Thus, instead of finding comfort from those who have also been targeted by those who want to control the sexuality of other adults, people experiencing GSA may find some more vitriol or at least a cold shoulder.

All of these things can bring pain and hardship to GSA relationships. Laws and public attitudes can be changed. There is some help for those struggling to deal with their feelings or the feelings of someone else or just to be themselves, but that help would be greatly aided by a change in the laws and public attitudes. That is one reason I call for solidarity. Someone who is struggling with GSA does not need the added burden of laws and finger-wavers that treat them as second-class citizens or with hate and impede their ability to make decisions in the best interest of themselves and their loved ones.

For help, see here.

[Edited for typing errors and clarity.]

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (belated), Yuletide Greetings, Solstice Salutations, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!

Whatever holidays you celebrate, or even if you don't celebrate any, We wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.

May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.

I plan to update this blog as I can over the holidays, so keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe in the column over there on the right (for those of you looking at the web version)  if you haven't done so yet.

As a reminder, if you need someone to talk with or you just want to say hello to Keith, you can do so, as always, by emailing fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message him on Wire at fullmarriageequality or on Facebook.

Has a DNA Test Revealed New Relatives To You?

Has something that seems strange been happening to you or a long lost close relative since discovering you shared genes put you together or reunited you?

When You Can See More of the Family Tree

There are multiple services offering DNA testing and/or genealogical mapping. Some include 23andMe, Ancestry.com, Family Tree DNA, GeneTree, Genographic Project, MyHeritage, and Navigenics. The interest people have in genetics, ancestry, and genealogy has prompted them to seek out genetic or genomic information about themselves and their family. "What's in my genes?" some people wonder. Personal genomics or consumer genetics services are popular businesses.

One result of this has been that people are finding out they have close genetic relatives they never knew about, or they are being reunited with close relatives with whom they'd lost contact.

Why Branches of the Tree Were Hidden

Can You Marry Your Brother-In-Law?

That was a search that brought someone to this blog.

What is a brother-in-law?

There is more than one way to have a brother-in-law.

1) He could be your spouse's brother.

2) He could have married your sibling.

3) Some people would call a man who is married to their spouse's sibling their brother-in-law. For example, if I was married to a woman and her sister (who would be my sister-in-law) was married to a man, I might refer to him as my brother-in-law.

4) Similar to 3, someone might think of their sibling's spouse's brother as their brother-in-law. Your sibling's spouse is definitely your brother-in-law or sister-in-law. Their brother could thus be called your brother-in-law.

Unless "in-law" is being used figuratively or in the sense of number 4, it means you and/or he are married. In most places where English is the predominant language, people can still only be legally married to one person at a time. Where someone can only be legally one person at a time, the only way you can "marry your brother-in-law" is by being unmarried and marrying the person described in number 4.

Search of the Day

A recent search that brought someone here was...

elderly siblings affair

The fact is, there have always been siblings who've been together in the "golden years" of life. Some have always been together. Some are resuming activities in which they engaged in their younger years (perhaps after being forced apart). Some are just getting together for the first time. Although this blog doesn't endorse cheating (breaking the rules of existing relationships), the reality is, some of these are cheating affairs, but many of them aren't. Sometimes these are spousal-style relationships, others are simply siblings-with-benefits, and some fall somewhere on the spectrum between.

I can pretty much guarantee you know elderly siblings who are together. It is that common. You might not even know they are siblings and just think they're a "regular" couple.

Why would siblings who've never been sexual (at least, not beyond childhood "show me yours and I'll show you mine") get involved in their elderly years?

There could be many reasons it happens for any given couple (or triad, etc.) of siblings.

We Get Letters

We get comments that are worth pointing out here. You can leave comments below the entries, including anonymously, or you can write to Keith privately.

A comment was left after an entry on a son's choice in media content.  Anonymous wrote about his love for his mother...

I have had these feelings since I was 14 turning 15. 

I just turned 23 and my mother will be forty in three months. 

This has been going on since late June, a few days before the Fourth of July, a few months after her divorce from her 2nd marriage and my end of duty in the Air Force. 

I had moved back in with my mother after four years. Though initially shocked by discovering my feelings, she  realized this was was something she wanted, too; that my feelings for her were something that no other man had for her or could have for her. The feeling of love as a mother and son, best friends and lovers; especially as her son returning back to her womb. 

To have all this and live as a man and woman together is very powerful, very deep, and intense, something that we could only experience with each other. 
It made her realize that I was always giving subtle hints in a respectful way. As much as I wanted my mother as my woman, I understood that it may not happen. It lead her to act upon her feelings and initiate her seduction. She realized after seeing my social media and reading my desires that it was something that we could do with positive consequences. Even her seduction of me was very positive and deliberately slow.
I am glad it was, that she made me her man "sexually". I was definitely old enough and really knew what I wanted from her. Though she is an extremely attractive woman, she had never found a deep romantic connection with my father, boyfriends, or her second husband, which ended in a very bad divorce.

This and social media made her available and consenting to this, despite the taboo of a mother and son. 

We are willing to live a secret life for this and she tells me that if she became pregnant by me, she would keep the baby. I am willing to make that sacrifice of not having a child. Yet, I do want want one with her and if she really feels this strongly in the near future, I would be willing to have a son or a daughter that is my half brother or sister. The beauty of this happening is worth the risk for her, she has told me many times. 

Like I said it took a while for her to accept this.Yet, if you could see us we have no regrets. Actually,  she wishes she had the same mindset that I had many years ago to have made me her woman years ago. 

It was right after my military boot camp graduation. She had made the trip to see me graduate and we were going home together. During that period she was so proud of me and was giving me extra kisses and hugs that were longer and closer. It was at a time right before she met her second husband. She was very much alone. It was the first time see saw me sexually. She confesses that if I would have gone after her, she surely would have given in at that period of time.

World AIDS Day

December 1 is World AIDS Day. It is very important to remember those we've lost to AIDS, to care for anyone battling AIDS, and to care for anyone with HIV.

We must continue to work for a cure and continue to fight the spread of HIV.

We should also never forget that stigmas, ignorance, bigotry, sex-negative attitudes and shaming have helped spread HIV and AIDS.

Let's continue to work for a better culture in which people aren't shamed and marginalized for their sexuality, nor stigmatized for getting sick.

Thanksgiving Time

This US national holiday always falls on the fourth Thursday of November.

Thanksgiving Day is a huge holiday in the US, centered mainly around a special family meal. In case you haven't noticed, Americans like to eat a lot. Since Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday, Friday is a holiday as well (at least as far as the government is concerned). Because Thanksgiving is considered to specifically be about family togetherness, it can be a painful time for those who have been rejected by their family because of their gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or choice in partner(s). Some LGBTQ people, polyamorous people, and those in consanguineous, intergenerational, or interracial relationships are reminded every year that even their own family hates them.

Some people make the best of this and plan a Thanksgiving meal with friends. I throw out a special “good for you” to anyone who hosts such a meal this holiday. Keep up the good work. I think such gatherings are much more enjoyable anyway. If you don't have one to go to, consider hosting your own!

But I also have words for anyone who has driven away or banned someone in their family because of that other family member’s identity, orientation or partner(s): Shame on you. You don’t have to like your family member’s sexuality or how they live. But you should reach out to them and support them instead of driving them away. Every person at that table does things you don’t like. Why single out a family member for punishment because of who they love? If your family member has a partner whose family is more accepting, guess who is going to win? Guess who is going to get to play with any grandkids/nieces/nephews? Not you. Think about it. Maybe it isn't too late to make amends and have them over for this year's holiday. This might help.

If you can’t go “home” for Thanksgiving and you are feeling down and you haven’t managed to make plans with friends, consider hosting your own Thanksgiving and invite some friends. Or, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other charity location that will be helping people that day. Don’t allow sadness or loneliness to take hold. You can find a place where you will be welcomed.

Do you have any special plans for this holiday week? Are you going to be coming out, or trying to start or rekindle something with someone special? You can comment (anonymously, if you'd like) below or write an email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Polyamory Day

Polyamory is form of ethical nonmonogamy that itself can be lived out in many different ways. Saturday, November 23 is being observed as Polyamory Day.

On that day in 2011, BC’s Supreme Court ruled that Canada’s so called “anti-polygamy law” does not apply to unformalized polyamorous households – clarifying that polyamory, as it is typically practiced in Canada, is legal and not a criminal act. 

Prior to November, 23, 2011, it was questionable if polyamory was legal in Canada.

An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those things without the others) with any and all consenting adults without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today, especially, we remember transgender people killed by hatred and ignorance. It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

For all transgender people reading this:

We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.

We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.

Transgender Awareness Week

November 13–19 is Transgender Awareness Week!

What is Transgender Awareness Week? 

Transgender Awareness Week is a week when transgender people and their allies take action to bring attention to the community by educating the public about who transgender people are, sharing stories and experiences, and advancing advocacy around the issues of prejudice, discrimination, and violence that affect the transgender community.

We want all of our transgender friends and everyone else who loves them know that we have your back. Everyone should be free to live out their gender in the way they find best for them, and that includes being free to have the relationships that are best for them.

Veterans Day

Today is the Veterans Day holiday in the US.

I can’t help but think of the men and women who risked their lives (and those who gave them) and endured so many things in service to their country, who weren’t and haven’t been free to be who they really are and share their lives openly with the person or persons they love.

Recent years have brought progress, and we have to fight to keep what we've gained while still looking for more progres. Problematic laws and policies remain, and, of course, LGBTQ people, the polyamorous, and consanguinamorous still endure the the threat of prosecution, persecution, or discrimination.

Shouldn’t someone who risked their life for this county be able to marry more than one person, or a biological relative? Or at least share a life with the person(s) he or she loves without a fear that their own government will be against them? Is bravery and valor negated if a man loves more than one woman, or his long lost sister? Shouldn’t a woman who served be free to marry both of the women she loves?

Let’s thank our veterans, especially those who are still being treated as second class citizens.

PSA: Polyandry is a Form of Polygamy

Far too many people refer to polyandry as the "opposite" of polygamy. Or people will say "Polygamy and polyandry..."

Polygamy is marriage or marriages between three or more people, regardless of gender.

Polyandry is marriage to multiple men.

Polygyny is marriage to multiple women.


So...


Polyandry is a form of polygamy.

Polygyny is a form of polygamy.

Polygamy has many forms. It can be three people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be four people, regardless of gender, married to each other. It can be one person, regardless of gender, with concurrent marriages to two, three, four, or more people, regardless of genders.

If everyone involved is a consenting adult, then polygamy in any form can be considered a form of polyamory, which itself is a form of ethical nonmonogamy.

This link and this link might help explain.

How Genetic Sexual Attraction is Not Incest

Imagine a man and woman meet in a bar. They've never met before. They go outside for a smoke. They get into an argument and the jerk slugs her.

That is assault. But is it domestic violence?

No? What if I told you that unbeknownst to them, they have the same genetic father, a sperm donor neither one has met?

Is it domestic violence then? No?

What if... instead of slugging her, he wasn't a jerk and instead romanced her for the evening and they ended up having passionate sex.

Is that incest?

You can say it is incest biologically, but not sociologically. They were not raised together. They aren't even aware they are related yet.

Things like this have happened. Some people who experience Genetic Sexual Attraction had no idea they were genetically related before they met, fell in love, had sex, or even had children together. Even so, people ignorant of GSA or Genetic Attraction are scoffing at the defendant's statement in this case. Granted, they were apparently aware of their relation before their relationship involved statutory rape (since the age of consent in California is 18, not 16, as it is in many US states.) But that GSA happens to people unaware of their genetic relation demonstrates that GSA is real.

Judgmental finger-waggers cite the genetic connection as to why this is incest. This is because "she raised him" is not an option for why they are upset. The finger-waggers like to use that one when, say, a man and his grown stepdaughter have sexual relationship. Some finger-waggers go even further. Let's say that instead of starting a relationship with his grown stepdaughter, his son, whom the stepdaughter never lived with, meets her as an adult and starts a relationship with her. Some of the finger-waggers still say this is wrong, even if the man is no longer married to her mother.

People would use just about any argument to condemn a relationship with which they are not comfortable. But we'd all be a lot better off if we put aside our prejudices and recognized that consenting adults should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage. Even if someone is disgusted. We'd also be better off if we recognized that Genetic Sexual Attraction does exist, and it is a mitigating factor when, say, a 32 year-old woman breaks California's age of consent barrier with a 16 year-old.

The problem with calling the Atkinson case incest is that incest conjures up images of (in this case) a woman grooming the boy she is raising to be her assault victim. This is a case of Genetic Sexual Attraction and statutory rape. She did not raise him. She was not his guardian. This was a case where one of the participants was not a legal adult, able to legally consent. When the participants are consenting adults, I prefer the term consanguinamory to distinguish loving, consensual sex from images of some vile old man raping an prepubescent girl. Rape and love are not the same things.

There is no good reason why adults who are not violating existing vows to others, who are right for each other, should feel a need to refrain from being together in whatever way they want. Unfortunately, laws and prejudices in many places still need to catch up with reality. But what about finding support from others in the same situation?

Genetic Sexual Attraction is a phenomenon that may or may not actually lead to sex. However, if sex is involved, it is not incest from the sociological perspective, but still may be considered incest by outsiders, including law enforcement, as it is incest in the genetic sense. It is very easy for people who haven't experience GSA or witnessed it happening first-hand to scoff and deny it's reality. But ignorance does not determine reality. For more, read this.

Happy Halloween

Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you done or will you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. There are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies.

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your stories.

The Secrets of Siblings

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his lovers, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including their country, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

WARNING: Mildly explicit sexuality. Also, this interview as been edited slightly for language.

*****

Most Consanguinamorous People Are Healthy

The idea that someone who wants a relationship that appears to be different than the relationship you want must be somehow “messed up” or desperate for a partner is an old, common, and false one.

See my answer to a question on Tumblr.

Spirit Day

Thursday, October 17 is Spirit Day. Among varying activities, people wear purple in support of LGBTQ youth, against bullying.

Nobody should be bullied, harassed, or discriminated against because of their gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities or those of their family members or friends.

Are you observing Spirit Day? Leave a comment telling us about it.

How You Can Help

Coming Out Day

Even with the US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBTQ people in the US and other countries, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Friday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBTQ, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

LGBTQ History Month

October is LGBTQ History Month. This isn't to be confused with Pride Month (June).

There is a deep, rich history to explore, a history that has been hidden, ignored, or denied for far too long.

There are two things we can do for the people who came before us. 

1) We can remember their contributions and sacrifices and the injustices they endured.

2) We can honor them by ensuring all have their rights sooner rather than later. One of those is full marriage equality.

Let adults have the relationships to which they mutually agree. Let them live out their identities and orientations authentically, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

What About Donor-Conceived People Getting Together?

The National Infertility and Adoption Education Organization has a Question and Answer about “Accidental Incest between Donor Conceived People.”

Q: How worried should I be about inadvertent partnering of two donor conceived half siblings from the same donor?

The main worry is an artificial one... undue criminalization of such relationships.

From their answer...

While the fear is understandable, many professionals believe the fear is not well founded. For example, we asked this question to Ole Schou, founder and CEO of Cryos International sperm banks, who has researched and spoke to professional groups on this issues. [Note that he is not a native English speaker.]

“There is no reason to be concerned about accidental incest between donor conceived children/adults. The risk is extremely low. Professionals call the risk consanguinity or inbreeding. It is also described as incest. However, this word is surrounded by many taboos and connected to something morally wrong, and is not the best word to use in this situation.

I agree.

The concern is for the increase in recessive DNA disorders in children where the parents DNA are too closely matched. Remember that all humans have plenty of these recessive genes (C.J. Bell 2011).

However, the risk may only be increased some few percentage in comparison to normal procreation. So this is not much. It is more a problem if it continues generation after generation.

That is what we’ve been saying.

This is not relevant for donors as it is only a one generation issue.

Further, the risk that two half siblings from the same donor meet each other is generally very little if the sperm bank distribute internationally or worldwide.

It might be tempting for someone working for a sperm bank to claim that if a donor-conceived person walks into a room with 100 people in it, one conceived from the same donor, and chooses one person to approach, there is only a 1% chance it will be their half-sibling (if we’re talking egg or sperm donation, full sibling if we’re talking donated embryos). However, there odds are probably going to be much higher because of the shared genes. That is one reason Genetic Sexual Attraction happens. Sharing genes can cause people to be strongly attracted to each other. This is going to happen more and more as more and more people, for reasons including donation as well as many other reasons, are raised apart from close genetic relatives.

Donors are often screened for genetic problems, so that is a plus for avoiding problems.

Anyway, it is interesting to see what they had to say about risks to children born of consanguineous parents.

Why Russia Needs Full Marriage Equality

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted, even in places like Russia, where their relationships are not criminlized. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his spouse and mother of his children, yet they can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Ivan: I’m a 24-year-old lawyer working mostly from home. I live in Moscow now with my sister and our four children.

It's Ally Week

Ally Week is a student-led program so that LGBTQ K-12 students and LGBTQ educators lead the conversation on what they need from their allies in school.

Ally Week 2019 is September 23-27. Student leaders and K-12 educators can register for Ally Week 2019 HERE.

Finding Love With the One With You All Along

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her spouse, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including their country, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

WARNING: Mild sexuality. 

*****

Question About Consanguineous Affection

Someone asked a question at this blog's sister Tumblr, and they got an answer. Here it is.

Better Late Than Never

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man and woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a a few US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

WARNINGS: Mildly explicit sexuality. 

Don't Panic If Your Partner Brings Up Swinging

...or any other form of ethical nonmonogamy.
Ever notice that many of the same people who say swinging, or any form of ethical nonmonogamy will destroy a marriage urge someone whose spouse has merely raised the possibility of ethical nonmonogamy to divorce that spouse? Recently I heard two professional commentators who often focus on relationships urge divorce and say something akin to "your marriage is already over" because the spouse brought it up, even though these commentators disagree about many things when it comes to relationships. Then there are the online comments from the masses, which often say the same thing. I was glad to see this answer on Quora from Franklin Veaux, who is an excellent communicator of valuable information regarding ethical nonmonogamy and sex and relationships in general. Let's think things through here.

It’s Not True That New Jersey Siblings Won Marriage Rights in Court

There are a "news report" recently that appears to be satirical, that said a brother and sister in the US state of New Jersey had won a Supreme Court decision allowing them to marry. Here's an example.

Unfortunately, it isn't true. 

It's outrageous that any consenting adults would be denied such a basic freedom as their right to marry. There are countless siblings who wish the news was real, but are cruelly forced into the closet.

It doesn't matter if other people think it is strange, or disgusting, or it is against their religion. They don't have to do it. Consenting adults, under equal protection of the law, should be free to have the relationships to which they mutually agree. 

Full marriage equality is needed sooner rather than later.

Help make the fake news real.

It's Bisexual Awareness Week

September 16 through September 23 is Bisexual Awareness Week, with the 23rd being Bisexuality Day.

Co-founded by GLAAD, Bisexual+ Awareness Week seeks to accelerate acceptance of the bi+ (pansexual, fluid, no label, queer, etc.) community. #BiWeek draws attention to the experiences, while also celebrating the resiliency of, the bisexual+ community.

Bisexuals, like anyone else, should be free to be themselves have the relationships with other consenting adults to which they mutually agree, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Bisexuality is not a bad thing. Bisexual people deserve the same rights as anyone else.

We are happy to have bisexual friends and readers. As always, you are welcome to add to what is here by commenting below.

Your Son's Choice in Media Content

Someone recently found this blog searching "My son has started to view incest porn." [This entry has been bumped up because it is still relevant.]

What does it mean that your son is viewing "incest porn"?

There is a wide variety of material that can fall under that category.

1. Are we talking about professionally produced videos, featuring unrelated actors, like the classic "Taboo" movies or the countless more recent offerings?

2. Are we talking about what appears to be amateur or "home made" material with people who purport to actually be related?

3. Are we talking about material that depicts assault/molestation?

The first two categories are wildly and widely popular. There are a lot of people who are watching that or material that portrays fauxcest/nearcest. (There are a lot of people who have actual experience, too.) We generally refer to that as consanguineous sex or consanguinamory to distinguish it from abuse or assault.

While category 3 isn't as popular, it still has a following and as long as we're talking about fiction with consenting actors, there isn't necessarily cause for concern. If he seems to be obsessed with abuse/assault he should probably see a mental health professional for an evaluation.

The rest of this entry will focus on a son who is watching something that falls into the first two categories, which depict consensual consanguineous sex.

Searches That Bring People Here

Below are some searches that have brought people to this blog recently. Searches are often written as questions. If you have questions, you can always submit them by commenting below (you can comment anonymously, if you'd like). You can also email questions to fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

We also get a lot of searches for questions directly answered by entries in our FAQ tag. But let's take a look at some of the search phrases and see if we can share some helpful information.

do sisters experiment with each other

Yes. Sisters do experiment and explore with each other. Some do it while young, some of them never stop, and some start later in life. Some sisters go on to have spousal style relationships with each other. It is very common for sisters to experiment with each other while young if they are close in age.

If you are a sister experimenting with your sister, know that you're not alone. This has gone on for literally all of human history and you know others who are doing the same.

can dr. find out mom is incest pregnant

DNA tests are possible, and from those tests, it may be possible to determine if the pregnant person conceived with a close relative; especially if your mom's DNA is also tested. Some of the tests carry medical risks and a pregnant woman can decline them. Medical privacy laws might be overtaken by "mandatory reporting" laws in a specific location, so if you are where sex is illegal between you, don't admit to engaging in such affection.

If you are looking forward to a baby, congratulations to you. Most children born to close relatives are healthy. I'd welcome an email from you.

adult siblings arouse each other

This is much more common than people think. Intentional or not, sometimes siblings arouse each other.

us supreme court rules brother sister marriage

Unfortunately, this is not yet a real story. It was something that made some ripples, but it isn't real. Not yet.

Can step siblings marry

Laws vary from place to place, but in general, I do believe the answer is yes. It is very important to know who stepsiblings are. If "Person A" has a parent who has married the parent - who isn't Person A's parent - of "Person B," Person A and Person B are stepsiblings. This is not to be confused with half siblings, who share a genetic parent.

If you want to marry your stepsibling, congrats on your love and we wish you the best. Please feel free to get in contact.

playing doctor with brother or sister

This is very, very common. It isn't necessarily a sign that there is a problem, as long as no coercion or injury is involved. Most such siblings aren't consanguinamorous post-puberty, although some are.

people who married their aunts

In the US, "aunt" can formally mean:

1) Your parent's sister
2) Your parent's sibling's spouse

Informally, she can be:

3) a more distant relative, or a friend of your parents or family.

Where someone can only be married to one person at a time, number 2 is not possible unless there has been a divorce or death Most US states have laws against number 1. There's no law, but often prejudices, against number 3. However, involvement with an aunt is common enough that everyone knows someone who is or has been. If you've found happiness with your aunt, good for you! It would be great to hear from you via email.

middle age mom in love with her brother

This does happen. Whether it's been an enduring state or a recent development, there are middle aged mothers in love with a brother. Sometimes, after someone has been through relationships and even marriages, they realize that the person they want most is their own sibling. There are also "reunion GSA" situations in which a long-lost (half) sibling is discovered. Being in love is very common in such situations.

If you're in or know about such a situation, I'd welcome contact from you.

mature siblings incest

You're never too old to enjoy consanguineous affection if you mutually agree, even if you have no history of doing so. Are you involved? Again, your emails are welcome.

are polygamy wives bisexual

Of course there are women in polygamous marriages who are bisexual in orientation. Polygamy means being married to more than one person, regardless of gender. It could be a woman married to a man and a woman. What the person doing that search probably meant was whether or not there are women in traditional, polygynous marriages (meaning, women who are married to the same man) who are also having sex with each other. Many people in traditional polygynous marriages are members of a religion that might officially oppose being LGBTQ, but whether or not that's the case, some of the wives in such marriages are bisexual in orientation. Some might be closeted lesbians. There is sex going on between some of them, and that has always happened.

If you're in such a marriage, please email me to talk about it.

This last one is a bit sexually explicit, so if you don't want to read something sexually explicit, move on!

An Addition to the Glossary: Consanguinamorous

I am bumping up this classic entry.

*****

I have made some minor changes to the Glossary, and added a couple of terms. Since this blog began, I have favored the phrase “consanguineous sex” over the word incest to describe consensual sex between close relatives. This has meant writing “consanguineous couples” as opposed to “incestuous couples.”

I now think a better word is the word consanguinamorous. It’s a long word, but it may be useful in describing love or eroticism between close relatives. It implies the inclusion of sexuality, but that may not be so. Consanguineous sex can be expected between those who practice consanguinamory; couples, triads, or quads who are consanguinamorous. Some people would call this “intrafamilial sex” or “hyperendogamy.”

Please note that as always, this is referring to consensual sex, not to sexual assault, rape, statutory rape, child rape, or child molestation.

More Studies Are Needed on Consanguinamory

An important question was asked on this blog's sister Tumblr.

Let's Break the Silence and Bring People Out of the Shadows and Closets

One definition of "taboo" is "a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice."

That means it is possible for many people to be doing something and still have it "taboo" in the sense that nobody talks about it, at least not openly or publicly. The problem with not talking about things is that such silence can lead to serious negative consequences.

Thanks to technology, people can search out information about something without having to ask someone they live with or next to, or a teacher.

Want to know the most popular entry for this blog?

It's not even close.

The most popular entry on this blog, by far, is the entry addressing a frequently asked question of "How Common is Consensual Incest (Consanguinamory)? People from all over the world, but especially North America, Europe, India, and Australia, use search engines to answer the question, and those searches bring them here. The geography is no doubt a reflection of the blog being written in English. (Perhaps I should post more translated entries?)

Before going further, let’s make it clear this entry is talking about sex or sex-play or exploration that is consensual (we’ll call it Category S), not anything involving assault, molestation, or coercion (Category X). We shouldn’t have to reiterate that “sex” means consensual, but unfortunately we still do. (It’s not sex if it isn’t consensual, it is assault.)

The volume of searches and visits can't be accounted for solely by curiosity and journalistic or academic research. Some of that volume is from people who are, were, or want to be involved, or think or are certain someone they know is, perhaps even their partner. We know this because of the comments they leave and the messages they send, and all of the other entries they visit after coming to the blog through their initial question.

Based just on searches that invoke the question and other searches that find this blog*, there are a lot of people who have been involved, are involved, or want to be involved sexually or romantically, or want to be married to, someone law or custom forbids as too close of a relative. Yes, some people are completely disgusted by the thought, but clearly there are many who aren't. And some people are unable to hear or read anything about Category S without thinking of Category X, perhaps because they have been assaulted, which is terrible, but we should not avoid talking about sex because of assault. Even if person A is disgusted by the thought persons B and C having sex, or doesn't understand why these people are involved, persons B and C should be free to be together how they mutually agree.

Swinging Around the Family Tree

I know more than one polyamorous relationship that involves close relatives. In some cases, a consanguinamorous relationship is involved, meaning the close relatives are partners, and in other cases, they are not with each other but are with the same person or part of the same polycule. Some famous male polygynists in plural marriages are married to sisters. Traditional polyandry in places like India usually involves a woman married to multiple brothers.

I’m always interested in hearing from more people in such relationships. I’m also interested in hearing from others who may or may not be in ongoing relationships, but have been been in sexual situations, whether planned or not, where a relative (blood, step, adopted, on in-law,) perhaps a cousin, sibling, parent, uncle, aunt, adult child, nephew, or niece was involved or at least present. For example, someone goes to a play party and is surprised to find their sibling there. Or maybe it was a private threesome with siblings or parent and their adult child.

Basically, I’m looking for people who’ve been to the intersection of polyamory or swinging or threesomes/moresomes (and those three are NOT synonyms, by the way) and family connections.
I do realize that many nonmonogamous people are completely opposed to consanguinamorous relationships, and I also know some people in consanguinamorous relationships think monogamy is the only right way. That is one of the reasons I’m seeking people who’ve experienced the intersection of sexuality with more than two people involved or present + legal or blood relation. I know some. I’m looking to hear from more.

And I’m always looking for anyone who wants to be interviewed or just wants to correspond who is, or was, in a “forbidden” consensual adult relationship (including monogamous ones) or now that faces cultural, familial, or legal opposition (interracial, intergenerational, gay, polyamorous, polygamous, open, consanguineous, etc.)

Please write me via my Tumblr http://fullmarriageequality.tumblr.com or Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/fullmarriageequality or email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Multiplying Taboos - Her Side

We recently featured an interview with a man who has a secret, long-term affair ongoing with his adult daughter. She wanted to provide her side of the story, so here it is.

This blog is here to advocate for the rights of all consenting adults to be together how they mutually agree. Included in that is supporting ethical or consensual nonmonogamy. Unfortunately, because of lingering laws and prejudices about consanguinamory, many people can't be open about their attractions and experiences; cheating, which we do not advocate, can happen in such a negative environment as people do not feel free to discuss things openly and honestly with their partners, or anyone else for that matter. Again, we don't advocate cheating, but we recognize that some consanguineous sex does happen in the context of cheating. Still, there are things we can learn about relationships in general and consanguineous relationships especially by interviewing people who have had such experiences.

The woman interviewed below is married to a man and having a longtime secret affair with her biological father, who is married to her mother.

In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states,both the father and daughter could be criminally prosecuted for this, not for the cheating, but for having sex with each other.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think her relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic; you might find the cheating to be unacceptable. But whatever your reaction, should this be a crime? If their spouses were agreeable, shouldn't they be able to be open about their relationship and even marry? Also, notice that aspects of the relationship are common to consanguineous relationships that don't involve cheating, too. We don't condone cheating, but even a relationship that involves cheating can help give an understanding of the dynamic of consanguineous relationships, as this is happening everywhere.


WARNINGS: Mildly explicit sexuality and cheating. 

You're Not Alone and Affection Isn't Wrong

Some of the people who find this blog are feeling alone, isolated, or confused.

If that's you, you might need to read this:

There's nothing wrong with consenting adults sharing affection, or wanting to share affection. There's nothing wrong with consenting adults getting playful and experimenting with each other, exploring different sensations and ways of interacting with each other.

Relationships and sexual affection don't have be limited to a heterosexual, monogamous framework that follows a narrow casting and choreography. You can be with people of the same gender as you. You can be with more than one person, including people who are different genders from each other. You can be with other adults who are younger than you, older than you, a different race than you, have a background that's very different from you. You can be with people who are closely related to you by genetics or by law. (This isn't to say that some places don't still have unjust laws against some relationships or affection.)

When you are with these people, your physical affection with them might include, or not, countless different things. You might explore things considered kinky or strange or taboo.

People have done these things all throughout history, wherever there have been people. They are doing them now - right now, not far from where you are. You are not alone.

It doesn't matter if some people haven't liked that other people have done these things. What matters is what you and your lover(s) mutually consent to do.

It is OK to try things and then decide you don't want to do those things again, or maybe you'll try it again some other time, but not soon. It's OK to want to try new things even if you have been doing the same thing for a while. Desires change. Curiosities evolve. Tastes shift.

Different things you want might have the potential for effects that you might not want. There is information about minimizing the possibilities of such effects, whatever they are.

Don't let the prejudices of others and the restrictions they have placed on themselves or the fears smothering them prevent you from having the relationships and sex life you want to have. If you need someone else to tell you that it is OK to enjoy or at least try something, this is it!

If you want someone to talk with, contact me.

Polyandry Is an Option

When people hear the word "polygamy," they might automatically think about patriarchal polygyny, which is the subset of polygamy which involves having multiple wives. There are, however, multiple forms of polygamy, including polyandry. Polyandry involves having multiple husbands. In some places, it is traditional, and usually includes brothers.

An article at legit.ng notes, unfortunately while seeming to use "polygamy" when it really means "polygyny," "5 places where women were allowed to have more than one husband"...

1. Nigeria The Irigwe people living on the western edge of Plateau, Jos are a unique people numbering around 17,000. This small group of people are known to be ardent subscribers of polyandry and it comes as no surprise as their distinctive language and social traditions sets them apart from neighbouring tribes. The Irigwe people of Nigeria practiced polyandry for many decades until it was voted to outlaw in 1968. Prior to that women were allowed to have 'co-husbands' and moved freely from one man's house to another, having multiple spouses, and their children’s paternity was assigned to the husband whose house the woman lived in at the time.

The article then goes on to name Kenya, India, China, and Brazil.

Traditional or not, an adult, regardless of gender, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults. As such, anyone who wants to be married to multiple husbands should be truly free to be in such relationships. There is no good reason to deny such basic rights.