New Zealand Still Prosecuting Consenting Adults

In what must be a national embarrassment and perhaps a disgrace, consenting adults are still being prosecuted in New Zealand for having sex. 

You read that right: Criminally prosecuted for having sex.

Coverage of this outrage was provided by nzherald.co.nz...

A Hastings woman in her 30s has pleaded guilty to committing incest with her brother.

This wasn't an assault. It was sex. Why is this a criminal matter???

New Zealand Still Prosecuting Consenting Adults

A couple this blog last covered in 2012 were back in the criminal system and back in the courts in New Zealand.

Let's go back to a report at nzherald.co.nz from September 2016...

A father and daughter pleaded guilty to incest when they appeared in the Dunedin District Court this afternoon.

Judge Kevin Phillips convicted them and remanded them on bail, with conditions prohibiting communication between the pair, for sentence in November.

This is outrageous. They have a consensual relationship, initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction, and there is no reason to deny them communication, contact, or their freedom.

The pair - aged 37 and 23 - have previously been convicted of incest, after the woman gave birth to a child in 2011.

Isn't it obvious that they are in love? Why interfere?

New Zealand Judge Punishes Woman For Consenting

Oh, New Zealand. Like so many other places, you're making some progress but you still have so far to go. Here's a report at stuff.co.nz by David Clarkson regarding the latest injustice related to a possible Genetic Sexual Attraction case...

A brother and sister who met as young adults have been sentenced for incest as they co-parent their child in Christchurch.

The sister has been put on community detention that will keep her at home at night caring for her daughter – a healthy baby – and she must do a year of intensive supervision.

Her older brother’s sentencing was put off at the Christchurch District Court sentencing today because his probation report had not been done.

And who was the victim of their supposed crime of incest? Oh, that's right. There is no victim. The woman is being made a criminal for consenting to sex with another adult. So is the man, but he was prosecuted for something else, as we'll see.

Judge David Saunders told the brother that he must not go within 100m of flat where his sister is living unless he has prior approval of the Community Probation service.

Now at first, I thought this was due to the man being in love with a grown woman, and it may be, partially, but reading further...

The brother has admitted a wilful damage charge arising from a visit to the sister’s flat when there was an argument over money and a door was smashed.

If he's a violent person who poses a threat of domestic violence, then it is a good idea to keep him away. But he has custody of the child two days per week. So... is he being kept away because he's violent? Then he shouldn't be in custody of the child at all. If he's being kept away because he had sex with another consenting adult (and the smashed door thing was a temporary and singular lapse of his character), that's just absurd.

Judge Saunders should be ashamed of himself for treating a grown woman like a criminal for consenting to sex. He should ignore the "incest" charge when it comes to the man, too, and focus on any real crime he may have committed.

And did you notice that we see again that most children born to consanguineous parents are healthy?

Ally for Equality in New Zealand

Adam Bennett reports at nzherald.com about a political party's leader speaking up for equality.

New Act Leader Jamie Whyte is standing by his comments that incestuous relationships between consenting adults should not be illegal and says it would be "intellectually corrupt" of him not to be honest when asked such questions. 

In an article published on The Ruminator website, former philosophy lecturer Dr Whyte was asked whether the state should intervene if adult siblings wanted to marry each other.

Good for him.

Dr Whyte told the Herald his response was based on his belief that: "I don't think the state should intervene in consensual adult sex or marriage, but there are two very important elements here - consensual and adult".

We need more people to speak up for full marriage equality.

Polyamory Saved This Marriage

Rebecca Golden gives a glimpse at stuff.co.nz into her polyamorous relationship with a married man.

Apart from his wife, I'm the only woman Mick's ever been with. They started dating at 18, and have been together nearly 15 years. They arrived at polyamory because she didn't want to have the kind of sex he liked, and vice versa. Despite this difference of opinion, they shared too much - and needed one another too much - to simply divorce. They had a child together and a life that worked. Both read the book The Ethical Slut and decided that including other loves would help their marriage rather than harm it.

There are many reasons and many ways polyamory might be right for a couple. As you can see, in this case, it was because while they were meeting each others' needs in many ways, they weren't meeting their sexual needs, and so having a polyamorous relationship has been the solution. Others are polyamorous as part of who they are, and part of their sexual compatibility includes nonmonogamy. Isn't it better that this marriage became polyamorous instead of having frustration fester into divorce?

Group Calls on New Zealand to Keep Evolving

New Zealand just adopted the limited same-gender freedom to marry, but as this article at stuff.co.nz by Kristy McMurray shows, there's more progress to be made.

A group is calling for the Government to consider legalising multi-partner marriages.

The group set up a Facebook page just before the Marriage Amendment Bill passed through Parliament last week, legalising gay marriage.

A statement on the page described multi-partner - or polyamorous - marriage as "responsible, adult, committed non-monogamy," and said all committed loving relationships between adults regardless of number should be respected and given legal acknowledgement.

I wasn't able to find the group. Usually, I'm pretty good at that. However, people could ask to join the Facebook group I Support Full Marriage Equality.

There is no good reason to deny that we must keep evolving until an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, monogamy or polyamory, race, or religion is free to marry any and all consenting adults. The limited same-gender freedom to marry is a great and historic step, but is NOT full marriage equality, because equality "just for some" is not equality. Let's stand up for EVERY ADULT'S right to marry the person(s) they love. Get on the right side of history!

Good for New Zealand! Keep Evolving

New Zealand has adopted the limited same-gender freedom to marry, and congratulations to our monogamist LGBT friends who will finally be free to marry in New Zealand. We want to see New Zealand continue to progress to full marriage equality, so that an adult is free to marry any and all consenting adults.

Are you paying attention, US Supreme Court? Don’t let the US fall further behind. Make a bold statement for the rights of all adults.

New Zealand Should Keep Moving Towards Marriage Equality

New Zealand is almost guaranteed to be adopting the limited same-gender freedom to marry, and congratulations to our monogamist LGBT friends who will finally be free to marry in New Zealand. We want to see New Zealand continue to progress to full marriage equality, so that an adult is free to marry any and all consenting adults.

Here is what Nick Perry wrote for the Associated Press…

New Zealand lawmakers voted overwhelmingly in favor of a bill allowing same-sex marriage Wednesday, all but assuring that it will soon become law.

Lawmakers supported the bill 77 to 44 in the second of three votes needed for a bill to be approved. The second vote is typically the most crucial one. The third and final vote is likely to be little more than a formality and could be taken as early as next month.

Are you paying attention, US Supreme Court? Don’t let the US fall further behind. Make a bold statement for the rights of all adults.

Update on New Zealand Mother-Son GSA Case

I believe this is an update on a case in New Zealand I blogged about earlier in the year. Ian Steward reports at stuff.co.nz that a man convicted of raping his genetic mother even though the jury believed all events for which he was on trial involved consensual sex had his appeal dismissed. It appears to be a Genetic Sexual Attraction situation where, depending on who you believe, the son became increasingly violent and controlling.

The 29-year-old man, who was adopted as a baby, was sentenced to five years and nine months prison after being convicted of assaulting and raping his biological mother.

The offence occurred some months after he tracked her down to ask questions about his parentage last year.

Rather than multiple rapes, he was convicted of nine counts of incest after the jury found the sexual relationship they embarked on was consensual to begin with.

The man, who has name suppression, was found guilty of one representative count of rape later in their relationship.

The man's defence appealed his conviction on the "inconsistency" of him being found guilty on a non-specified representative count but not guilty on each of the specified ones.

The Court of Appeal rejected the argument and said it was open to the jury to accept that there was "an escalating pattern of violence" in their relationship.

The whole article is worth a read. One things is for sure: this was a sad situation.

It is obvious to anyone who pays attention to human relationships that people can be consensual lovers and be all wrong for each other, regardless of their genetic or familial connection or lack thereof. Sometimes, people are attracted to other people who are wrong for them, or who are abusive in general. Every adult should protect herself or himself from abusive or toxic people. It is easier for people to do that when consensual relationships (including those that are consanguineous or polyamorous) are not criminalized and stigmatized.

Still No Good Reason to Criminalize Consanguinamory

Consanguinamory (consensual incest) has been a topic of discussion in New Zealand media lately. At canta.co.nz, the Official Magazine of the University of Canterbury Students' Association, there was a written "pro" and "con." On the side of decriminalizing consanguinamory was Tim Bain...

Let's start with choice. Relationships are about the worst possible place for the government to get involved. Governments are terrible at knowing what makes people happy and what they need in terms of their sex life. It's a pretty basic tenet of our society that unless we're hurting someone else, or hurting ourselves badly, we should be able to do what we like.

Incest falls into this category. 

Yes!

Criminal Sentences For Consensual Sex in New Zealand

As New Zealand moves towards the limited same-gender freedom to marry, it is still criminally sentencing some adults for consensual sex. Updating this possible Genetic Sexual Attraction case I blogged about months ago, this report comes from BNO news…

A father and daughter in New Zealand who say they are in love with each other have been told by a judge to end their incestuous relationship, warning that future incest could land them in prison, a local newspaper reported on Wednesday.

How ridiculous for a judge to tell adults in love with each other that they can’t even love each other the way they want.

What Really Happened in New Zealand?

This is a mess of a news article out of New Zealand. Here is how it starts…

A woman raped by the adult son she adopted out as a child has asked the courts to reveal his name, even though it could identify her.

That first line states that a man raped his genetic mother, who did not raise him.

The 29-year-old man, who was sentenced to five years and nine months in prison on Tuesday, was convicted of assaulting and raping his biological mother some months after he tracked her down to ask questions about his parentage last year.

Again, it says he was convicted of assaulting and raping her.

But rather than multiple rapes, he was convicted on nine counts of incest after the jury found the sexual relationship they embarked on was consensual to begin with.

Okay, if a jury in a court of law said it was consensual and convicted him of incest rather than assault/rape, why does the news article call it rape? Is this a bias against Genetic Sexual Attraction? As it turns out, if I'm reading it right, it looks like they believe it was an ongoing, consensual relationship that involved one incident of rape. I think. The defense plans to appeal on what they claim is a contradiction.

Adults Prosecuted in New Zealand for Consensual Sex

From odt.co.nz comes this news item of consanguinamory that might have been initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction...

A 32-year-old man and his 18-year-old daughter have admitted having an incestuous relationship. 

An 18 year-old having sex with a 32 year-old is not big news. But do the math. How old was he when he had the sex she from which she was conceived? To me, that has the potential for an actual criminal case, depending on how old the female was.

The two people appeared in the Dunedin District Court yesterday charged with committing incest between August 2010 and May this year, knowing of their relationship as parent and child.

So they are both being charged as criminals? Who is the victim then???

Information in the summary was that the man fathered his daughter when he was 14 years old.

Because of his age at the time of the girl's birth, he had little contact with her until she was about 16.

He had been told he was the girl's father.

When the girl was a teenager, she was made aware of the identity of her father.

The father made contact with his daughter's family in 2010. A visit was arranged and, after several more visits, the father moved into his daughter's family's home. 

During that time, a relationship developed between the two which became a sexual relationship in August 2010.

Sounds like GSA to me. Who had a problem with the relationship?

The girl and her family moved south early last year and her father moved with them.

The sexual relationship continued, resulting in the birth of a child.

After a complaint to the police, both were interviewed last month and freely admitted their sexual relationship and that they knew they were biological father and daughter. 

It is okay to lie to avoid unjust prosecution. Unjust laws should be thwarted. I wonder who made the complaint?

The young woman said she was in love with the man, her father, and they had been living as husband and wife.

They have a child now. Let them be a family! Stop the insanity of prosecuting people for consensual sex. Let them marry, if they want to legally marry. Notice the article does not say the child has any problems, and I'm sure law enforcement and the journalist would have passed that information along. So the child is probably healthy and these adults should be allowed to live their lives together without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
 

20/20 in New Zealand to Feature Genetic Sexual Attraction

It will be airing Thursday 18th August 2011, 9.30pm TV2…

The show follows a group of everyday people who have found themselves in a passionate affair with a long lost sibling, or parent they thought they had lost through adoption.

With the rise in sperm donation, and children of adoption growing into adults, and seeking birth parents, this is a story that could become more common.

Most of the people 20/20 speaks with are in hiding, but others are starting to speak out about their relationships, and are fighting for the right to stay together.

Genetic Sexual Attraction is almost always a very painful experience, as people experience a very intense attraction unlike anything they’ve felt before, often without warning. Sometimes the attraction is not mutual (which is always painful), sometimes it is. Mutual attraction can be especially problematic when there are existing vows and commitments to others that make acting on the attraction cheating of otherwise problematic. Sometimes those experiencing mutual attraction have negative feelings due to personal or external disapproval of consanguinamory, and there are many places where consanguinamory is a criminal offense.

It is the position of this blog (and many people who realize what century this is) that consenting adults should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage regardless of their biological relation, and as such, those experiencing GSA should be able to live openly in consanguinamorous relationships or find other ways of dealing with their attraction without interference from the law.

New Zealand Courts Continue to Punish Consensual Sex

This article on a father-daughter case of possible Genetic Sexual Attraction may be an update of this case.

A father and daughter who admitted conspiracy to commit incest have lost a bid to have their convictions overturned.

The Court of Appeal was told that Mr Y and Ms A formed a sexual attraction to one another in late 2008 and agreed to have sex and perform "other sexual acts''.

Why is it is a crime for consenting adults to plan to have sex with each other, let alone why is it a crime for them to actually have sex with each other? Allowing this conviction to stand is trashing justice.

They were convicted of conspiracy to commit incest and ordered to come up for sentencing within 12 months if called upon by the court.

Mr Y and Ms A appealed, saying they should have been discharged without conviction claiming that the judge did not properly consider the impact of a conviction on their careers and failed to take into account Ms A's immigration status and child custody issues.

But in their decision the court dismissed the couple's appeal.

Incest laws should be changed so that they only apply to rape, sexual assault, and child molestation. They should not apply to consensual sex. An adult should be free to pursue love, sex, cohabitation, and marriage with any consenting adults. For every one of these relationships that law enforcement intrudes into, there are many more that go on, for life or for a season, and it doesn't hurt anyone else. It doesn't harm society. Let them have each other.

Adults on Trial For Consensual Sex in New Zealand

In New Zealand, a woman is now on trial for the “crime” of incest, as is her father. Since they are both on trial, who is the victim?

The pair allegedly had a sexual relationship for more than 10 years.

This sounds like love.

They met when she was almost 30 and he was in his late 40s and living in Britain.

So what is the problem? They’re consenting adults.

On the first day of the couple's trial at the Auckland District Court on Tuesday, Crown prosecutor Scott McColgan said, though they were consenting adults, if they had a sexual relationship it was “incestuous”.

I’m not familiar enough with how things work for Crown prosecutors. Did McColgan have a choice in whether or not to prosecute? Or was this someone else’s decision? The person responsible should take a look in the mirror and ask themselves why they are interfering in someone else’s love life.

He said after she tracked the man down she spent three weeks with him. When she returned to New Zealand she split with her husband then moved back to Britain.

While being divorced by her may have been painful, at least she didn’t string her husband along, which is to her credit.

She and the accused man ventually returned to New Zealand and lived in the house where the woman had lived with her husband and children.

McColgan said they appeared to be “besotted with each other”.

So why not leave them be?

After a complaint was made to police, officers searched their bedroom and found sex toys and pornography.

Who complained? Her ex? Why is it relevant that “sex toys and pornography” were found in an adult's bedroom? Is this article written by someone who has a problem with sexuality in general?

The woman's mother told the court her daughter changed “overnight” when the man arrived on the scene.

Sounds like it could be a case of Genetic Sexual Attraction.

At her daughter's 30th birthday party the man allegedly told her he wondered what it would be like to have both mother and daughter as the three danced. She was shocked by the comment.

A few months later she confronted the woman about the “unnatural” relationship.

So maybe the woman’s mother turned them in, which she could have done out of spite or jealousy. Sad.

An adult should be free to pursue their rights to love, sex, and marriage with any consenting adults. Drop the charges against these two. Let them live their lives.

Auckland Court Goes Easy on Consensual Adult Sex Charge

But isn't it stupid to convict in the the first place? Or even charge them with a crime? I was alerted to this apparent Genetic Sexual Attraction news by Saturn of the Incest News blog. As Saturn points out...

It's unknown whether they actually had sex together, but there is evidence of interest in doing so.

I also agree that...

Adultery is very harmful, but in this situation there should be some understanding about how powerful an attraction can be to a long lost relative. If there had been more knowledge and compassion, perhaps the situation could have turned out better.

I am consistent in saying that one should not have sex if that would violate an existing vow to another. If one is in a relationship that is not open to her or him having sex with this additional person, don't have the sex, or renegotiate the existing agreement(s), or end the existing relationship(s). Adultery, however, should not be a criminal matter. Nor should any consensual adult sex.

From the New Zealand Herald...

An Auckland public official has been convicted of planning a sexual relationship with his long-lost biological daughter whom he had not seen since she was a child.

The man, 58, and his daughter, 41, jointly charged with conspiracy to commit incest, were convicted in the Auckland District Court this week.

They are both adults. So why is this a crime?

The daughter left her husband and children and returned to New Zealand in October 2008 to live with her father and his family.

The daughter's husband in the UK became suspicious and hired a private investigator to tail the pair. He then laid a complaint with the New Zealand police, who laid charges in March last year of conspiracy to commit incest and committing incest.

I know she was wrong to violate her apparent vows to her husband, and it has to be hard on him, but he could have simply filed for divorce. It was also wrong for her to abandon her children.

The pair denied having sex and the more serious incest charge was later withdrawn by police.

But the case has destroyed the man's 36-year marriage and relationships with his other adult children. His occupation has been suppressed and he has been stood down for an internal inquiry.

So they were both committed to others. This is something that someone experiencing GSA should always consider. What they shouldn't have to fear is loss of job or criminal charges.

The couple pleaded guilty to the conspiracy charge and asked Judge Lindsay Moore to discharge them without conviction.

He refused, but gave them suspended sentences, so they escape further penalty unless they commit another crime in the next year.

Judge Moore should have simply tossed the case out.