Polyandry and Prejudice in Kenya

I'm not sure why this has become such big news. Two men love the same woman. They want a polyandrous marriage. What's the big deal? From npr.org...

Polygamy is fairly common in Kenya but one forthcoming marriage is turning that custom on its head. A Kenyan woman not wanting to choose between the two men she loves, decided she will marry both of them. The men have agreed, and the trio even signed a contract to "set boundaries and keep the peace."

This happens every day all over the world.

From bbc.co.uk...

The agreement sets out a rota for Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani to stay in her house and states they will both help raise any children she bears.

Mr Mwendwa told the BBC he loved the woman and said the contract would "set boundaries" and "keep the peace".

Lawyers said the "marriage" would only be recognised if they could prove polyandry - a woman having more than one husband - was part of their custom.

How about simply recognizing that adults should be free to marry each other?

Striving for the Dream Fifty Years Later

Fifty years ago today, one of the most important persons in the history of the US gave one of the best speeches ever made on American soil





Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. inspired and motivated. He opened eyes and ears and changed hearts for the better, advancing civil rights in the US.

King spoke of people of different colors being able live peaceably side by side, arm in arm, not separated by skin color. There is still progress to be made in that aspect of civil rights, and of course there is still much progress to be made when it comes to sexual orientation, gender identity, and relationship orientation.

We need to speed the arrival of the kind of evolved society where people can walk arm in arm "black" and "white," but also male and male, female and female. We need to have the kind of nation where a happy triad or consanguinamorous couple isn't afraid to stroll in the park, arm in arm, exchanging kisses along the way.

History is on our side. Consenting adults will be free to exercise their rights to love, sex, residence, and marriage. We will have full marriage equality.

Australian Couple Denied Their Freedom to Marry

[This interview has been removed at the request of one of the interviewees. We apologize for any inconvenience.]

Dear Prudence is an Ally For Cousins

Thanks to a good Friend of FME, I was alerted to a recent Dear Prudence edition about cousins. We've taken a look at Emily Yoffe's work at slate.com before, but here we are again.

This is from the question...

Over 20 years ago I had an affair with a married woman who became pregnant with my child. She reconciled with her husband and they raised the boy as their own.

By the way, in many places a child born to a married couple is legally the child of both, regardless of how that child was conceived.

I have not had any contact with my biological son, at the husband's request. No one in my family knows I have a secret son. Two weeks ago I found out my niece (my sister's daughter) is engaged, and the groom to be is none other than my biological son! 

That makes them biological first cousins. This is not a problem.

Prudie, I am livid that my son's mother and her husband did not stop this relationship in its early stages.

There's no good reason they should stop it all.

Canadian Polyamorists Sought For Survey

From the email inbox...

A research project is underway at the University of Quebec in Montreal.

This study aims to better understand the diversity of contemporary intimate relationships in Canada and a part of the questionnaire focuses on polyamorous relationships.

Contribute to the recognition of diversity in responding to our online survey. It's simple, fast and anonymous!

Participate here : www.epris-smitten.ca

This study has been approved by the research ethical board of the University of Quebec in Montreal and respects the ethical rules of research.

There you go. If you're Canadian, and you are polyamorous, please participate. I am confident that the more research that is done, the sooner things will get better for polyamorists. People need to see that polyamory is here, it always has been, and it always will be, and that there's nothing wrong with polyamory.

Showtime's Polyamory Returns

Showtime's series Polyamory: Married and Dating is back for season 2, and Rich Juzwiak at gawker.com is happy to see it.

The collective capacity of Polyamory's core four to explore the depths of their polyamorous configuration, while remaining committed to each other, is as infinite as a Real Housewife’s ability to find haters, circumstances to be offended by, and meals to spoil. But on Polyamory, the results are largely of joy and self-discovery, not turmoil and drama. Sure, jealousy tiptoes into the bedroom, boundaries are trampled, and certain sexual encounters turn out to be awkward stumbles. But for the most part, these people are having a great time. And why shouldn’t they? They get home from work and there’s a party waiting for them.

The poly life is not all fun and games, although there certainly can be lots of fun and games

There’s something wonderfully relaxed and unperturbable about these people, especially the pod. They giggle along with the rest of us, allowing America into their bedrooms and hearts with the glee of exhibitionists and the fearlessness of pioneers. I was struck last season by how perfect their stories were for reality TV, and that perception is is only reinforced this time around. I think it's because pulling off this kind of relationship successfully requires emotional transparency and articulation.

Sounds like this series is helping.

What about you, dear reader? Are you watching? Do you... like to watch?

Seriously... what do you think about the series? Is it helping move the public to supporting relationship rights and full marriage equality sooner rather than later?

Update on North Carolina Pair

A while back I blogged about a father and daughter wanted by authorities in North Carolina on some vague allegations involving incest.

The update from wwaytv3.com is that Robert and Natalie have been arrested. No clarifying information was provided about the case in general.

I hope no children were abused. I also hope adults are not facing criminal charges for consensual sex with each other.

US Marshalls arrested a Pender County father and his daughter this morning in Hampstead on incest charges, according to the Pender County Sheriff's Office.

Robert Lee Earley Jr. is charged with incest, statutory rape and child abuse. He's in jail on a $650,000 bond.

Natalie Sheree Earley is also charged with incest. She was released on a $10,000 bond.

Stay tuned. Maybe we'll get the truth.

From the Past

Look back 125 years to see what someone wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine on consanguineous marriages. You can at least read part of it for free.

GSA on Television Again?

Rachel McRady writes at wetpaint.com with some spoilers about season 3 of Revenge, a television show with which I am not familiar. It sounds like the plot may involve Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Credit: Instagram/ABC

There’s been plenty of buzz and spoilers surrounding Revenge Season 3, but we’re most excited to learn more about the relationship between Victoria Grayson and her first born son, Patrick Harper.

This indicates to me that he's her genetic son, not a stepson or adopted by her. However, fiction writers have been known to "chicken out" by making the new arrival an imposter, or it is eventually revealed that there was a mixup at birth and so this isn't the genetic child of the character. So I'll be interested to see what happens.

At first we weren't sure if Patrick would be a loving son or a secret enemy to Victoria, but new spoilers from TVLine and ET Online show that he will definitely be a mama’s boy.

When Revenge returns on September 29, we will have flashed forward five to six months in which Vicki and Pat have “spent a lot of time together building a relationship, on that almost seems inappropriate when we first see them,” actress Emily VanCamp tells TVLine. “She’s just so in love with her son. It’s very bizarre.” 

Yikes! Does this mean incest in the future for the Grayson family? It does seem like the logical next step considering all they’ve already done.

Unfortunately, these articles are usually written with a bias against consanguinamory. Words like "bizarre"  and "yikes" indicate this.

I'd very much like to see more fictional television address this topic with some basis on what really happens in life. There are adult sons who find their genetic mothers and they mutually experience GSA. Some of them have a sexual relationship. Some of those go on to be happy with each other in a continuing romantic/erotic relationship.

Do you watch this show? If you see this storyline unfold, please report back on it. Thanks.

Is There a Better Ally Than Diane Rinella?

Talented author Diane Rinella continues to show she has a beautiful heart. I have blogged about her before, and plan to write more about her latest work when I'm finished reading my advanced copy, but now she's gone and done something online that I wanted to praise. She updated her blog with this entry and also added a related link at the top of the blog.

Yes, I have gotten some nasty responses. (I’m not bashing a few bad reviews. I respect those. It happens. No one writes for everyone.) I’m talking about nasty comments from people who, frankly, don’t understand. These people either take on a “how dare you not see where this is wrong” or a “how dare you treat people in such a sensitive situation as if they are normal” approach.

Of course she got a harsh reception from some. There are people who are disgusted by consanguinamory to the point of wanting people persecuted and they insist that everyone else has to feel the same way they do. It's sad, really, and it is scary that they can ruin the lives of people who are harming nobody, only loving each other.

She goes on to report something very touching. Go read what she wrote. 

Many thanks to Rinella for daring to put herself into the shoes of someone who faces some very scary choices in life, and telling others, in a very engaging way, how it feels. She has profound empathy. She could have avoided this subject entirely, and not risked the negative reactions, but she went ahead and did something that will make a difference.

Someone who makes movies needs to take an interest in this series. Yes, it would be controversial, but the right director and right actors could demonstrate their craft with this material in a way no other project will.

We Get Letters

I welcome comments on this blog, including from people who do not support equality, and you can comment anonymously. Since I need to approve the comments before they publish (this saves you having to jump through anti-spam hoops) you can even send me a comment as a private message as long as you specifically ask me not to publish the comment. Otherwise, it is fair game. I do publish comments from those who oppose equality, but they are almost always short bursts of hate without anything of substance.

You can also send me email at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com or on Facebook.

Below are some recent comments left here. I also get emails from people who are, understandabl, very cautious and don’t want to leave comments. It is sad that anyone would have to fear speaking up about the love they have. That’s what we’re working to change.

On with the comments.

This was left in response to my previous We Get Letters update, in reference to consanguinamorous people who feel forced to "settle" by marrying others.