If She Wasn't Serious, She Wouldn't Have Revealed Her Feelings

There are better places than Reddit to have a serious discussion about consanguinamory, but I thought this recent post by someone with the screen name DaughterNeeds was an interesting one. [Please note this blog entry has been bumped up from a previous posting.] This person claims to be an involved/experienced daughter, and titled the post "Respect your daughter choice and say yes"...

Actually, the only time I felt unwanted or unloved or hurt or betrayed was when my father originally told me no. He was worried that he had somehow done something wrong or that somehow I was confused.

To the fathers who are out there let me assure you of something: If your daughter comes to you can rest assured that she is sure and yes she means it! We are socially programmed from birth to believe such feelings or thoughts are immoral and unethical. If your daughter comes to you longing for you, she has had more than enough time to think, rethink, and think some more. She has likely struggled to come to terms with how she feels and she has likely contemplated a million reasons on why she should squash her feelings and most certainly has she has tried. Unknowing to you she has most certainly tried her whole life to force herself to feel for someone else as strongly and as instinctively she feels for you.

She makes a good point. Unless the situation is a recent reunion/introduction, or she's literally insane to the point she has no idea what she's doing, a daughter making a clear pass at her father (or mother) must have thought about it a lot already. It might seem sudden to the parent, but it isn't to the daughter who is opening her heart and being extremely vulnerable.

When Middle-Aged Siblings Get Together

[Bumping this up]

Some people find this blog from doing a search. Today's interesting search phrase is...

Causes of middle age sibling incest

I'm assuming this is about sex, which is consensual, rather than assault.

I've largely explained the "causes" in this posting, which was about a father and adult daughter.

I have no way of knowing if the person doing the search is such a lover, has a partner who is involved, is a family member or friend, or someone else.

What I do know is that sex between siblings is common enough that everyone knows someone who is, or has been involved.

Since the previous posting I linked was about an adult and their parent, I'll add a few comments here specifically dealing with siblings.

For some middle-aged siblings, the origin of their sexual interaction goes back to having sexual contact as teenagers, which could have stopped for many reasons, including someone else intervening and stopping it, fear of persecution, the siblings finding other partners, going their separate ways for education and employment, and other reasons. Others have their first sexual contact with each other as middle-aged adults.

Having sex with each other in middle age, whether it is new or a resuming of past experiences, could be prompted by a variety of factors. Whether bored or dissatisfied in their relationships with others (and looking for a "safe" person to cheat with); looking to traverse what is, for them, new sexual territory whether they are single or in an open relationship; nostalgic for the past; looking for a "safe" partner who loves them after a breakup or divorce; brought into each other's presence and comforting each other after the death of a parent (or sibling or friend); one caring for the other through recovery from an injury or illness; just plain ol' curiosity or horniness combined with availability. Sometimes it is the first time the siblings have really been in each other's lives at all, and they feel a powerful attraction.

What causes these relationships isn't as important as respecting adults and their relationship and sexual rights. If they aren't cheating by sneaking behind a partner's back, violating an existing agreement, then siblings loving each other this way, especially as middle-aged adults, shouldn't be a matter for law enforcement nor finger-waggers. They are people who at least somewhat share a background, and are likely close in age, and the love each other. Be happy for them!

See:

Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory

Interviews with Siblings in Sexual Relationships

Living Consanguinamorously - What To Tell The Children

A question many people in consanguinamorous relationships have is if, what, when, and how to tell their children about their relationship.

There is no one right answer because it depends on many different factors.

It will be great when we get to a point where it doesn’t even have to be a question, but since most consanguineous lovers are still living in places where such relationships face severe discrimination, often including imprisonment, it is a question some people have.

Most people in consanguinamorous relationships have children, whether they have those children together or by some other relationship or through adoption or third party reproduction, because most people in general have children, so this is an issue faced by many people.

Let’s consider some of the factors involved.

Replacing Justice Breyer on the US Supreme Court

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer helped moved things in the right direction, towards equality. He will be retiring from the Court and will need to be replaced.

What we need is for President Biden to name, and for Congress to affirm, a new Justice who will continue to move things in the US towards full marriage equality.

There may be laws on the books that need to be overturned or removed. It is ridiculous that there is still discrimination not only permitted by law, but enshrined in law, against consenting adults simply because they love each other. The basic freedom of association that allows consenting adults to love each other how they mutually agree has been restricted by various unjust and unconstitutional laws throughout history. Although some of these restrictions have been removed by the Supreme Court in prior decisions, even those remain in some state codes or statutes due to legislative inertia or as mean-spirit statements or even in the hopes of a reversal by a subsequent Court ruling. It is clear that momentum is on the side of civil rights and has been for a long time. We must move forward in securing the rights of all adults.

Confidential to Anonymous: Telling Your Story

I’m interested in your story. You do not need to reveal you identity to me. I’d never publish anything that would reveal it so I don’t need to know it. 

Given the questions you asked me, I’d advise emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. You can get a free email account with Protonmail or a similar service. Use a VPN or take any other steps you want to take. I won’t have any way of knowing who you are. Nor will anyone else.

The Wire messaging app is another way to contact me, and that app has various protective features. I’m fullmarriageequality there.

While I enjoy making friends with many of the people who contact me, it’s not necessary for me to do so. I understand your need for caution and anonymity.

Sincerely,

-Keith

Cuck Week is Coming

January 25 through January 31 will be Cuck Week. This will celebrate the form of ethical or consensual nonmonogamy that involves Hotwives, Cucks, and Bulls.

A hotwife, or cuckoldress, is a woman who has sex with men (a bull) other than her ongoing partner (the cuck). This is referred to as cuckoldry. This is done with the knowledge, and often the presence, of the cuck, who might have been the one to initiate it in the first place.

There are many reasons why someone might find it pleasurable and/or practical to be a hotwife, cuck, or bull.

Do you have experience with this? Have you wanted to do it? You can comment below, including anonymously.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the US, Monday is a holiday, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. He was a giant in the fight for civil rights.



Many decades after he was assassinated, the fight for civil rights continues.

History is on our side. All consenting adults will be free to exercise their rights to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage.

Are you like those who kept trying to keep some people second-class citizens, or are you like the people who marched with King?

This is how you can help.

Myth: Acting on GSA Needs to be Criminalized, Prosecuted, and Stopped

Reality: There’s no stopping Genetic Sexual Attraction, although someone can attempt to prevent others from acting sexually on GSA, but decriminalizing GSA and bringing it out of the shadows is the best thing to do all-around.

If someone thinks having a consanguinamorous relationship is always a bad idea, it still hurts more than it helps to criminalize consanguineous sex. People experiencing GSA need to be completely free to seek assistance if they want it. Criminalization hinders that. Therapists and other counselors should be learning about GSA and learning how to help people who are experiencing it.

Some people say criminalization is needed to prevent societal collapse due to everyone making mutant babies with their close relatives. As already explained, most children born to close relatives are healthy. Even so, consanguinamory and reproduction are two different things.

We can also look at places where it is legal for close relatives to have sex and children together, such as Spain, Portugal, Rhode Island, and New Jersey. Has there been a crisis as a result in any of those places?

Another part of this myth is that laws against consanguinamory prevent abuse. Abuse is illegal regardless of consanguinamory laws, and criminalizing consensual sex actually makes it more difficult to get victims and witnesses to cooperate in the prosecuting of abusers. Even if you want someone to get through GSA without having a(n ongoing) sexual relationship, criminalization is counterproductive. The only way to stop sex between those involved is to have constant, direct supervision of all reunited/introduced close genetic relatives 24/7/365. This, however, is needless. For some, the involvement is for a season and it will pass. For others, it will last a lifetime. Either way, there’s no good reason to try to stop it.

See Myth: It is Illegal Everywhere to Act on GSA

See Myth: People in GSA Relationships Don’t Need the Freedom to Marry

What Is Cheating?

Cheating is breaking the rules.

In a relationship, the rules are set by the people in the relationship.

As such, for some, having sex with other people is NOT cheating. If the rules of their relationship allow for having sex with other people under certain conditions, and those conditions are met, then it isn't cheating.

Also, relationships can and do have rules other than "don't have sex with other people" or "only have sex with other people under these conditions." Those rules can be almost anything to which the people in the relationship have agreed, including "Don't spend more than this amount of money on something without discussing it with me first." That's a very common rule for people who have combined their finances.

Another rule that can apply to sex is "We will share sexual affection on a regular basis, as long as extraordinary circumstances don't prevent us." Thus, cheating can include one partner consistently rejecting the other partner, cheating that partner out of something to which was agreed.

While there are common basics that should be discussed with every (potential) partner, it's difficult to discuss every possible hypothetical nuance and variation and agree to rules about each, and so being flexible about adding, removing, or modifying rules can be helpful, especially since people discover more about themselves, what they have to offer, and what the need as they age and grow. Keep in mind that most people have a tendency to have expectations and desires, and make assumptions, that go unstated, and someone can still damage trust and their relationships with the partner(s) without technically cheating. So, please, state upfront some of the basics and work from there. These might be "I am mostly monogamous and need my partner to be mostly monogamous" or "I'm ethically nonmonogamous" or "I am polyamorous" and go from there, detailing what is meant. 

Strict monogamy shouldn't be expected by default; it must be something that is discussed, with an agreement being made. None of us can assume that someone we are interested in is "available" because they're not in a relationship, or that they are "unavailable" because they are in a relationship. That is something to discuss with them.

Responding to An Attack

This is a crosspost from this blog's sister Tumblr.

This came in from Anonymous...

Many psychological journals have already discussed the negative effects of incest (even between “consenting adults”),what could possibly be the benefits of sex between relatives? Many of the “positives” I’ve read in your blog seem to be purely anecdotal that we’re supposed to take at face value with no real study/statistics behind it.

Here is how I responded...

Many psychological journals have already discussed the negative effects of incest (even between “consenting adults”)

It’s interesting that you didn’t list any of those negative effects when it involves consenting adults.

what could possibly be the benefits of sex between relatives?

Virtually all of the benefits of sex between other consenting adults, plus more.

Many of the “positives” I’ve read in your blog seem to be purely anecdotal that we’re supposed to take at face value with no real study/statistics behind it.

I’m a blogger. I’m not in charge of a Sociology department at a university. I engage in observation and questioning, and dialogue with the experienced. If you want to deny the reality I’ve seen for for myself, there won’t be anything I can do to change your mind.

Meanwhile, there are people around you, and people on Tumblr, who know from experience.

I’m sure you can find better things to do than try to make life harder for people who love each other and are strangers to you.