Approaching Mom

I’m continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors. Most of my appeals have been granted, restoring those specific answers.

If you don’t follow me on Quora already, please do so and upvote my answers, if you’re so inclined. 

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https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-steps-to-seduce-a-mom/answer/Keith-Pullman

What is the best way to coax a mom to have sex?

Keith Pullman

I have interviewed hundreds of people about their families. 1y

I’m assuming this question is about YOUR mom.

The best way is to be respectful and attentive to her needs and desires. That excludes spying on her when she expects privacy, taking her things without her permission, sticking your genitals in her face uninvited.

Each situation is different. We don’t know her. You do. You know your history with her, and your personalities.

How is her stress level these days? If she’s stressed out, or tired out, she’s not going to be feeling very sexual, most likely. So make her life easier. Take care of chores and errands she needs done.

Seducing her is going to be much the same as seducing another woman her age. The big differences are that you already know and love each other, which is an advantage, and that she may have internalized societal prejudices against doing this, which would be a disadvantage. Please note that seducing someone isn’t about making them do something they don’t want to do. That’s a big no-no. It’s about letting them feel your interest, and inspiring in them the excitement of getting sexual, and maybe romantic.

As with anyone else, all along the process, you need to pay close attention to what she says, how she says it, her body language, etc. If she doesn't want to do something, you need to back off and respect that.

If you do these things in the right way, the worst that happens is she thinks she has done something wrong to cause these feelings in you, and you can assure her she hasn’t done anything wrong. Or she might think you need therapy. But that’s the worst case scenario.

On the other hand, she might already very much want something, but has been waiting for you to make a move (for various reasons, including you being the child, you being the male if you are, or others). Or, she might not realize she wants it until she’s given herself permission to think about it. Either way, she might hold back and want you to make a move. Or, somewhere along the process, she might make a move because she’s received enough signals or hints from you.

You're probably going to need a combination of both talk and action.

On the talk front, get her to talk with you about sex and relationships. The more she talks with you about sex, the better! Encourage her to talk as much as you can. Listen closely to what she says and how she says it. If you can get her to talk about what turns her on, great, especially if it includes people of your age and gender. Likewise, you can indicate that you are attracted to some people of her age, gender, body and personality type, etc. (you might even want to describe her in way she’d recognize).

As you have these conversations, you can bring up the topic of sexual limits and taboos, including "forbidden" relationships. For example, cousins. You might even ask her if she has ever been attracted to someone or fantasized about someone who she “wasn’t supposed” to think about that way. You can then bring up sexual relationships between mothers and sons. If her reaction isn't negative, that's a great sign. If you need a "reason" to bring up such topics, you can say the topic came up in a dream you had, or an article, story, television show, or movie you saw, or even that someone you know brought it up.

Throughout all of this, you haven't actually said that YOU want to have sex with HER. She might have figured it out, but since it hasn't been said, she can still cool things down if she’s not interested, with minimal embarrassment, and you can still deny, if she has a negative reaction, that you wanted to have sex with her.

As far as action, you want to increase the emotional and physical affection between the two of you.

Give her compliments. Flirt with her. Joke with her. Use terms of endearment, as appropriate ("Hey, Love...", "Honey", “Beautiful,” “My Dear”). Compliments should indicate that you recognize what she has to offer as a romantic or sexual partner, but not be so crude as to turn her off. Flirting can include smiles, winks, lingering looks (especially up and down her body), gentle and light touches on her arm, etc.

Give her more, longer, and tighter hugs, from both the front and behind. You might want to let your hands move as far as she’ll allow. Give her more, longer, and more suggestive kisses. Look for excuses to be close to her and touch her, even if just in passing, like a touch on the back, or the back of the neck, or the behind, depending. Offer backscratches, neck rubs, shoulder rubs, leg rubs, massages, or anything else that will get your hands on her.

You need to get her alone, relaxed, and feeling affectionate, playful, and sexy. So, date her. Dates can be at home. It is setting up what will be an enjoyable time for her so that the two of you can spend quality time together, alone. Making or buying her favorite dinner, and/or having finger foods she likes that you can feed each other, and some wine (as long as neither of you is a problem drinker) can be great, along with cuddling up for a movie, or playing a game of cards (strip poker - if she doesn't like that idea you can claim it was a joke).

Speaking of stripping, be aware of what you are (and aren't) wearing around her, with showing off your best features and/or allowing easy access in mind. You might even consider going "naturist" or nudist at home. But in general, women don’t react the same way to nudity as men do to female nudity. And never think that just “whipping it out” or sending her a picture of it will get you anywhere positive. Remember, you need to treat her with respect. Going nude, even just starting in your room with the door open, and no longer hiding your masturbation is about creating an atmosphere of freedom. It might inspire her to do likewise.

Be prepared to appeal to her heart, libido, and intellect. Be prepared to answer whatever concerns to she might have, including assuring her you can keep private things private, that there's nothing wrong with sharing affection if you both want it, and that many other people are doing it. Again, if she resists or indicates she’s not willing, back off! There’s a chance she just needs to think about it for a bit longer, or there’s a chance it won’t go any further, and you have to respect that. Going slowly might help. For example, telling her “Let’s just try kissing, and if you don’t like that, we can stop.”

After the first time together, residue of sex-negative programming might bother her. Reassure her with anything from a smile, to hand-holding, to an embrace, to talking (including thanking her and telling her how much you enjoyed what you’ve just experienced together), to a shower together, to another round of lovemaking. You want to let her know you wanted this and enjoyed it and that there’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

Keep in mind that, depending on her age, it would be a good idea to have lube available, and her body might not be able to lubricate enough on its own.

This is generalized. Adjust and adapt as best for you and your relationship with her and life situation.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers. Someone asked a question. I gave a sincere and careful answer.

If you want to contact me privately, I can be reached on the Wire messaging service at fullmarriageequality or via email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

A Cautionary Tale of Polyamorous Consanguinamory

This wont be an easy or quick read. [Note: This was originally published several years ago. I’m bumping it up because it’s tied to this season. I’d very much like to publish an update on this family.]

This is an in-depth recounting from a woman who was in a polyamorous consanguinamorous triad of her own initiation. It has been several years since it ended.

It’s a cautionary tale, though, unlike most of the interviews you'll find here, because they didn’t ever *talk* about it. They never discussed anything about it. They just did it. That, along with feeling isolated because of societal negativity, made things stressful for this woman.

Communication is important in any relationship. It is especially important in polyamorous relationships, and especially polyamorous relationships that were already established before they became sexual. It’s vital when three or more people are involved. If you can’t communicate about what's going on, you shouldn’t really be attempting an ongoing relationship. Consanguineous sex is almost always explosive. The intensity is unlike anything else. There’s a reason we call it double love or a double bond. Some people liken it to an addictive drug, and this woman does, too.

Communication is important. Reaching out to others is important. Reading the whole account will take a while. As you read this, notice how things could have turned out differently if they had talked things through, and didn’t have to hide.

I present her experience in her own words below. I have organized what she told me, but these are her words. If you contact me about her, refer to her as Zoe.

PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME OF THE NARRATIVE BELOW RECOUNTS EXPLICITLY SEXUAL SITUATIONS.


*****

I’m a mid-to-late twenties female and I was in an extended sexual relationship with both parents. For a long time I've felt really isolated, and if there's someone out there that can read what happened to me and say, "Yeah, I feel that too," that's a good thing. It started when I was 18 and ended when I was 22.

For Parents Considering Consanguinamory

One of the popular pages on this blog is this Courting Consanguinamory page, which has helped a lot of people. That page is generalized, though, about starting any consanguinamorous relationship. This entry below is adapted from an answer I gave on Quora, to a parent who was asking about starting a consanguinamorous bond with their adult daughter. Most of it is adaptable to those considering being with a son, too.

Contrary to myths, this not illegal everywhere. There are a couple of US states and many countries in which it is not illegal for an adult to have sex with their parent(s). Also, there are mentally healthy women who will confide that this was one of the best experiences of their lives. Even where still illegal, very few such relationships are ever brought to the attention of law enforcement, thankfully.

You’d need to be delicate about doing this, not clumsy or rushed. You don’t want to put any pressure on her nor upset her.

Do you know if she is attracted to people of your gender? Could she be attracted to, or sexual with, someone your age? These are things you can find out by talking with her without making it clear that you would like to add a sexual or romantic bond with her.

Don’t Forget Mother’s Day - This Sunday, May 12

Mother's Day is celebrated annually on the second Sunday of May (at least it is where I live). If you have a mother or mothers in your life you should honor and celebrate - they don't have to be your mother - consider making plans if you haven't already. But if this person IS your mother, and your mother has been a good one, do be sure to show that person how much you appreciate them. 

We keep in mind people become mothers in many ways, including birthing, being married or partnered with someone who gives birth, donating gametes, adopting, fostering, marrying or partnering with someone who has a child, and simply becoming someone's honorary mother through actions.

This applies even more to those of you who have added a special additional bond with your mother, or want to. You have more ways of showing your mother your appreciation than anyone else. If you haven't made plans yet, make them now!

If you have any special plans you want to share, you can comment below, including anonymously. If you want to privately share with me what your plans are, contact me.

Is It OK? (Mother and Daughter)

I’m continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors. Most of my appeals have been granted, restoring those specific answers.

If you don’t follow me on Quora already, please do so and upvote my answers, if you’re so inclined. 

This specific answer wasn’t restored. But the question is still there, without another answer.

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https://www.quora.com/Is-it-okay-to-have-sex-with-both-a-mother-and-a-daughter-at-the-same-time/answer/Keith-Pullman

Is it okay to have sex with both a mother and a daughter at the same time?

Keith Pullman

advocate for relationship rights for all consenting adults.10mo

It isn’t just okay, it can be WONDERFUL.

Of course, that’s having sex, not assaulting anyone. And NOT cheating, meaning you’re not breaking rules you have with either.

Would the LAW say it is OK? That depends. Laws vary from place to place, but in some US states, there are still unconstitutional laws criminalizing any sexual affection between a daughter and her mother. But they can both be sexual with YOU, even at the same time.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers. Someone asked a question. I gave a sincere and careful answer.

If you want to contact me privately, I can be reached on the Wire messaging service at fullmarriageequality or via email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

more 

Asked and Answered

I’m continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors. Most of my appeals have been granted, restoring those specific answers.

If you don’t follow me on Quora already, please do so and upvote my answers, if you’re so inclined.

*****

https://www.quora.com/Has-anybody-had-sex-with-both-mom-and-daughter-at-same-time/answer/Keith-Pullman

Has anybody had sex with both mom and daughter at same time?

Keith Pullman

advocate for relationship rights for all consenting adults.3y

I have had sex with a mom and daughter at the same time. The mother didn’t raise the daughter, who found her after becoming an adult. They experienced reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction for each other. They had plenty of sex with each other without me, but lucky me, they started to include me sometimes. There’s a lot more to this but I’m sticking to what directly answers the question.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers. Someone asked a question. I gave a sincere and careful answer.

If you want to contact me privately, I can be reached on the Wire messaging service at fullmarriageequality or via email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

It’s Not Unusual

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors. While my appeals have been granted, restoring my answers, the silly censors have continued to report my answers out of desperate bigotry. So, this could turn out to be a looooong series. Enjoy!

If you don’t follow me on Quora already, please do so and upvote my answers, if you’re so inclined. 

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https://www.quora.com/Is-it-unusual-for-me-to-be-attracted-to-my-mother/answer/Keith-Pullman

Is it unusual for me to be attracted to my mother?

Keith Pullman

Civil Rights Blogger & Consanguinamory Consultant (2010–present)7y

It is normal in that is happens to many young men. It may not be “normal” as in happening to most men your age. However, it is common enough that you certainly know other young men who have the same feelings for their mother, whether you know about that or not. It isn't exactly the kind of thing a lot of people tell other people they know.

There is nothing wrong with having these thoughts and feelings as long as they don't interfere with your reasonable obligations (such as your education or employment).

I actually know mothers and adult sons who've acted on such feelings, and some of them have the most beautiful relationships. It really doesn't matter if someone else is disgusted, and no, it isn't illegal in all places.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Stepmother's Day - Sunday May 15

The Sunday following Mother's Day is now recognized as Stepmother's Day. This year, that's this coming Sunday, May 15.

If you have or know a stepmother who is worth celebrating, take this opportunity to celebrate her!

Good stepmothers can improve things for families and be allies to marginalized children and examples of how to live with courage as a marginalized person, depending on their identities. Sometimes stepmothers have been an ally to someone before their own parent(s). 

And while it is cliché in erotic media, the fact is, some stepmothers do liven up the family dynamic and increase the love within it. If you have a current or former stepmother and you've been thinking of adding another bond to your relationship with her, celebrating Stepmother's Day is as good of reason to start than anything else.

If you have plans or end up doing something special, do tell us about in the comments feature below.

If She Wasn't Serious, She Wouldn't Have Revealed Her Feelings

There are better places than Reddit to have a serious discussion about consanguinamory, but I thought this recent post by someone with the screen name DaughterNeeds was an interesting one. [Please note this blog entry has been bumped up from a previous posting.] This person claims to be an involved/experienced daughter, and titled the post "Respect your daughter choice and say yes"...

Actually, the only time I felt unwanted or unloved or hurt or betrayed was when my father originally told me no. He was worried that he had somehow done something wrong or that somehow I was confused.

To the fathers who are out there let me assure you of something: If your daughter comes to you can rest assured that she is sure and yes she means it! We are socially programmed from birth to believe such feelings or thoughts are immoral and unethical. If your daughter comes to you longing for you, she has had more than enough time to think, rethink, and think some more. She has likely struggled to come to terms with how she feels and she has likely contemplated a million reasons on why she should squash her feelings and most certainly has she has tried. Unknowing to you she has most certainly tried her whole life to force herself to feel for someone else as strongly and as instinctively she feels for you.

She makes a good point. Unless the situation is a recent reunion/introduction, or she's literally insane to the point she has no idea what she's doing, a daughter making a clear pass at her father (or mother) must have thought about it a lot already. It might seem sudden to the parent, but it isn't to the daughter who is opening her heart and being extremely vulnerable.

“I’m Stuck at Home With Family”

If staying home has (or had) you thinking about sex with a family member, you’re not alone. Over the past two years, more people than usual have been contacting me or finding this blog with questions like...

Do siblings have sex?
Is it OK to have sex with your mother?
How do I have sex with my brother?
Is it normal to feel horny for my dad?
I fantasize about my daughter.
I want my sister.
I'm feeling attracted to my son.
Should I try to have sex with my mom?
Can I do it with my brother?
Do brothers and sisters have sex?
Is it weird that I want to make love to my brother?
How can I tell if my son wants to have sex with me?
I think my brother is giving me signs he wants to have sex.
How do I seduce my father?
Do people ever have sex with their parents?
I've wanted my son for years, and now that we're home together all of the time I need him.

People are stuck at home and they are considering relieving their sexual tension with a family member, and they have questions.

Lockdowns, shutdowns, staying home, self-isolating, quarantines... people are stuck home and, in many cases, that means being without a partner, a lover, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a date, a booty call, a hookup, or a chance to meet someone.... unless that someone is someone who lives with them. People are stuck at home with their family members, and many of them are feeling horny, missing sex, feeling deprived of sex. They have urges and needs. They’re frustrated.

There are mothers who want to see if their son or daughter is down for some fun. There are sisters who want to know if they can get together with their brother. Their are sons who ache to be with their mother or father. Or both.

You get the idea.

Whether they are blood family or step or adopted, or maybe not even officially family but have been living together, people are wondering, fantasizing, itching. Masturbation only does so much. A family-with-benefits experiment, or something more romantic, are very real possibilities.

Is it OK? Yes, if everyone involved consents, it is OK.

There is no good reason people who want to be affectionate with each other should deny themselves and each other, if they mutually agree to that affection. Even if it is embraces, caresses, shoulder rubs, kisses... it needn't go any further than you mutually agree. But many of you who dare to do more will find it extremely pleasurable.

You might feel like you're odd, but it is far more common than most people think, and the indication I have is that more people than ever are doing it right now. Whether you’ve never considered it before or you’ve wanted it for a long time, why wait? If you can't think of a good reason to wait or hold back, don't! Just don't be crude or overbearing in how you go about this. If you need more inspiration, read about just a few of the people who’ve already enjoyed this. You love and care about each other. Why not be affectionate, if that is that is what you want?

And if you're separated from a relative right now that you'd like to have fun with through technology, see this.

Feel free to contact Keith if you want to discuss this.

For further reading...

Why Do I Feel This Way?

When Someone You Love Wants to Love You More

Consanguinamory (Consensual Incest) FAQ

More About This Blog

Another Perspective on a Polyamorous Consanguinamorous Life

Facts:

1. There are people everywhere who have consanguineous sex, and there always have been.
2. There are polyamorous people everywhere, and always have been.
3. There are people everywhere who swing or have group sex, and there always have been.

Sometimes, people are in two or all three of these categories, and those who are might find each other.

We are bringing you another exclusive interview.. As this interview is being published, there are many people still spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous and polyamorous relationships are everywhere, though many polyamorists are closeted and consanguinamorists are even more likely to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry all her spouses, or simply to be together with her lovers without having to hide, yet they can’t. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say about the bonds she shares. You may think her relationships are interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in similar relationships right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?

You might want to read this interview first, or wait and read it at the end (I'll link to again below) as they are connected.

**WARNING: Mildly explicit descriptions of adolescent exploration and adult sex.**

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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Neely: I'm Neely, I am 24 years old, from an upper-middle class family, I currently live in West Virginia. I have an older sister, Marie, and a younger sister, Amy, and one older brother, John. I currently have one daughter by my brother.

We Get Letters

It’s been a while since I’ve done a roundup of “letters” we’ve gotten. I’ll have to do that soon. Meanwhile, here’s a comment that was left by “iknowwhatisaw” several hours ago here.

I had a girlfriend (16 years older than me) that was intimate with both her daughter and son after she accidentally walked in on them. She had suspected that they experimented when they went to the same college and roomed together. But on this occasion both were married, the daughter 31 and pregnant, the son almost 30. That was how it started, and amazingly learned they never went beyond watching each other masturbate while living at home.

Please share more about this, iknowwhatisaw.

Did your girlfriend walk in on them while you were dating her, or was it before?

Why and when did our girlfriend tell you this? 

How did your girlfriend get involved? 

When you say she was intimate with both, do you mean separately or together?

Had your girlfriend been involved in Consanguinamory before, or had she known of others (either of which would make her more likely to pick up on what her son and daughter were doing), or was this her first time dealing with Consanguinamory?

Did their spouses know?

What became of them, last you knew?

She must have trusted you a lot to tell you any of that. You can comment below (I’ll publish the comment below, unless you say otherwise, when I see it) or email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Sometimes parents discover their adult or teen children, whether full siblings, half siblings, step siblings, or adoptive siblings, are sexually affectionate with each other. Unfortunately, some of those parents react irrationally and destructively. It’s good this woman didn’t react in such a way. 

Readers, have you ever seen or heard of anything similar, or been involved? You can comment below anonymously.

A Polyamorous Consanguinamorous Marriage Denied Equal Rights

We are happy to be bring you another interview. As this interview is being published, there are many people still spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous and polyamorous relationships are everywhere, though many polyamorists are closeted and consanguinamorists are even more likely to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out if the closet or they’ll gave prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her spouses, or simply to be together as a triad or throuple without having to hide, yet they can’t. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say about the bond they share. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?

**WARNING: Mildly explicit descriptions of childhood exploration and adult sex.**


*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

954Girl: I work for a large, international bank. My dad is a senior corporate executive at a different company.  My mom was a stay-at-home mom but did volunteer work, which she continues to do. We live in South Florida but don’t want to say more than that. My brother works for the same bank as I do, but he lives in Australia with his wife.