Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Yuletide Greetings, Solstice Salutations, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!

Whatever holidays you celebrate(d), or even if you don't celebrate any, We wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.

May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.

I plan to update this blog as I can over the holidays, so keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe in the column over there on the right if you haven't done so yet.

Stay Strong and Demand Full Marriage Equality

We tend to take an optimistic view overall on this blog, because we believe that all adults will be free to enjoy their rights to have their relationships and marriages without being criminalized or treated as second class citizens. However, Matt Baume warns in this commentary at huffingtonpost.com that recent advancements in the US could be rolled back under the combination of the Trump administration and a Republican-controlled Congress.

Step 1 is simply to weaken the protections of marriage. They can’t stop marriage altogether, not at first. But in a variety of states, there are subtler efforts already underway.

For example, the Arkansas Supreme Court just gave the state the green light to withhold certain rights from same-sex married couples. In that case, it was the right to have both parents named on their kid’s birth certificate. The court said that straight couples can automatically be listed as parents, even if one isn’t biologically related to the child. But gay couples can’t.

There isn’t even a pretense here of separate but equal. It’s explicitly separate and unequal.

And take a look at what’s happening in Texas: there’s a group of citizens suing to stop Houston from providing spousal benefits like health insurance to the same-sex spouses of city employees. This group says that even though the state has to issue a marriage license, it doesn’t have to go further and treat the couple as though they’re married. There’s also a bill called SB89 that goes even further ― it says that the Texas constitution, which prohibits same-sex marriage, trumps the US Constitution, so the state shouldn’t issue any licenses to same-sex couples at all.

These things are outrageous. It is the law of the land, nationwide, that nonconsanguineous same-sex couples have the same freedom to marry, and be treated the same, as heterosexual couples. Any attempt to subvert that is an egregious violation of law. We'd  hope that even many of the people who strongly opposed this freedom to marry would accept that it is the law of the land. There's no good reason to deny any adult the right to marry.

This is an example of why it would be good to get a Marriage Equality Amendment into the Constitution.

Solidarity is needed more now than ever. We will not go back. We will keep moving forward.

Solidarity Helps

Over and over and over again, this blog has called for solidarity between marginalized communities and their allies so that we stand up for the rights and dignity of all adults to be themselves and have their relationships. So a headline that reads "The great divide: polyamory, 'throuuples' and the LGBTI community" caught our eye. It's from something written by Corey Sinclair at starobserver.com.au.

AS the battle for marriage equality wages on for lesbian and gay men, and the popularity and awareness of the polyamorous lifestyle continues to rise, the divide between the two communities seemingly grows larger.

That's a sad way to start.

It is not uncommon to encounter ‘throuples’ in the gay community, but for many polyamory has become a dirty word. One that is seen as a possible obstacle to achieve their ultimate end goal – marriage equality.

The freedom to have polyamorous marriage is an essential part of full marriage equality.

When relationship coach Anne Hunter co-founded polyamorous community group PolyVic in 2004, it was much more of a queer collective. But as time passed, “queerphobic” heterosexual members joined, and the push towards marriage equality meant more and more LGBTI felt uncomfortable associating with the term.

Shame on those queerphobes.

“What is really disturbing is the growing experience of condemnation that queer people are getting from other queer people about ethical non-monogamy,” she tells the Star Observer.

Ugh. How about SOLIDARITY???

Polyamorous.com.au is the latest addition to an ever expanding online poly community, gaining almost 50 new users a day.

Great.

Originally coming from a swingers background, it wasn’t until Ashleigh met someone who was poly that she felt as though she had found her place.

It's important to know the difference between swinging and polyamory. Many, probably most, polyamorous people do not swing, and many swingers would not identify themselves as polyamorous. Some polyamorous people will have fewer partners over their lifetime than some people who identify as monogamous, and other polyamorous people swing.

Some of the people quoted in the article have less optimism than we do. Full marriage equality will happen sooner or later. We're helping to make it sooner. There's no good reason to deny it. Let's work together instead of allowing the bigots to divide and conquer.

It Runs in the Family

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is, and was, clearly able to consent to her relationships. Along with her lover, she should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think her relationships are shocking, interesting, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Free Spirit: I'm 45 years old and I'm a manager at a supermarket grocery store. I was born and raised in Tennessee, so I'm a southern girl. I have two younger half-sisters. I love country music and dancing. One of my favorite hobbies is painting pictures. .


FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?

I've never been married because the only man I wanted to marry was my father, but of course, by law, we weren't allowed to marry.


FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

Back in high school, I made out with a few girls just to impress boys, but I've never had sex with the same gender before, so I'm heterosexual. My son and I are in a monogamous relationship. I don't like to share.

Expectant Parents Denied Their Rights

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The couple interviewed below are clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET BRIEFLY, SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Daughter: I'm 5'6" and I'm the only child. I'm an outdoor person. I love hiking, running, and swimming. I think I'm an average looking woman but my Daddy thinks I'm sexy and that makes me feel attractive.

Father: I'm 6'0" and I'm the youngest. I have an older brother and older sister. I'm also an outdoor person, so you can see why my daughter loves the outdoors so much.

A Bisexual Woman Denied Her Rights

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is clearly able to consent to her relationship. She and her lovers should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? If they were to move to another country, including most of the US, her lovers could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Nadia: I'm living in Minsk, Belarus, and I'm working as a waitress at the moment. The twins are living in a village not far away, and they are both in university.


FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

I'm bisexual and polyamorous. One of my partners is pansexual and polyamorous, and the other is demisexual and polyamorous.

We Get Letters From Consanguinamorous Daughters

We got a great comment on our Consanguinamory FAQ page. Here it is, edited slightly for English grammar.

Somebody told me about this blog and I had to see it for myself to believe it. It's actually real.

Yes it is! We're glad that people are sharing this information. It is very important for people to know they're not alone and that they deserve to be able to freely live out their relationships; that laws against such love need to be removed.

What really grabs my attention was the video from Jane Doe. She did such a marvelous job on explaining about the myths of incest.

Yes, Jane is fantastic.

No Haven From Gossip

Everything reported by "entertainment news" and gossip services, whether flattering or critical of a celebrity, has to be taken with a grain of salt for reasons we won't bother to detail. When it comes to Angelina Jolie and her brother James Haven, there are things we could see for ourselves, such as their kissing and what they said at the 2000 Academy Awards and immediately after. With that in mind, the "they're incestuous!" stuff has hit the gossip sites again.

For example, here's a report from Monica M. at jobsnhire.com, headlined with "Angelina Jolie Back In The Arms Of Her Brother James Haven; ‘Maleficent’ Actress Insufferable Since Divorce?"

Another Round of Polygamy Bashing

A trial of some people from Bountiful, B.C., Canada brings with it attaching negative associations to the word "polygamy" even though the actual problem is not voluntary relationships between consenting adults.

For example, there's this report by Daphne Bramham at vancouversun.com that is headlined "Evidence all in at trial of B.C. polygamous parents charged with trafficking their daughters." Why are the parents identified as "polygamous?" In how many articles do you ever see people on trial identified as "monogamous?" The problem here is alleged child abuse, not polygamy between consenting adults.

The trial of three parents from the polygamous community of Bountiful, B.C. charged with trafficking their 13- and 15-year-old daughters to U.S. for sexual purposes wraps up next week with final arguments.

"Polygamous community." Are there "monogamous communities?" We weren't aware towns married. Are sister cities allowed to marry?

That there are polygynous adult marriages is not nearly as important to what is going on as the fact that these people belong to a certain small religious group with an authoritarian leader who orchestrated the events in question, and the real issue is the abuse of children. Would it be any less of a problem if the minor girls were each being "married" off to a different older man rather than multiple girls to one man?

The headline to Bramham's article at montrealgazette.com was a little better, but "Obedience to prophet paramount in polygamous community, trial told" still calls it a "polygamous community." This is exactly why so many people who want ethically nonmonogamous marriages avoid using the term polygamy, even though that's the term for a marriage or marriages involving more than two people.

It is important not to lump ethically nonmonogamous people in with child abuse. We advocate for the rights of all consenting adults to their relationships, including polygamy, if that's what they want. We oppose child abuse and maintain that full marriage equality for all will actually help fight child abuse.

World AIDS Day

December 1 is World AIDS Day. It is very important to remember those we've lost to AIDS, to care for anyone battling AIDS, and to care for anyone with HIV. We must continue to work for a cure and continue to fight the spread of HIV.

We should also never forget that stigmas, ignorance, bigotry, sex-negative attitudes and shaming have helped spread HIV and AIDS.