Halloween Is Coming!

Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you done or will you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event? So many were cancelled last year, and many places still have some limitations.

Whatever you do, please be careful and stay safe!

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. In typical years, there are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies. Maybe you'll be home with family or other loved ones, watching something good or playing some fun games?

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your plans or stories, including from years past. You can comment anonymously below.

Sad Bigots Lash Out

An Anonymous attack was left at this blog's sister Tumblr, and I'm going to cross-post the response here...

I try to avoid publishing "expletives" on my blog, so I copied & pasted this so I could edit the expletive...

*****
Anonymous asked:

why don't you shut the f--- up and accept that incest is never going to accepted in our world
*****

We see this happen over and over again with civil rights.

"Women will never get the vote."

"Negroes will never be allowed to go to school with whites!"

"Interracial marriage will never be allowed!"

And each time it is the same thing. The bigots don't have good arguments as to why people should be denied their basic rights, and so the bigots lose. Civil rights advance.

No matter how much the bigots hate it, there are consanguinamorous relationships all around them, and the laws of more countries are advancing towards equality. Many countries have no laws against related adults being together. And when people think the issue through, they tend to support equal rights, because there is no good reason to try to stop any consenting adults from loving each other how they mutually agree.

Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away

Reality: They might. That also means they might not.

Some people experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction report that their feelings have lasted years while they avoided any sexual contact. Others report their feelings changing after sharing a sexual relationship. Still others report the feelings endure with intensity in an ongoing consanguinamorous relationship. There are other possibilities as well.

It is common for feelings to evolve in any relationship. Polyamorists often talk about New Relationship Energy and Old Relationship Energy. Most people know that relationships can often start with infatuation that may not last, and may or may not be replaced with other feelings.

It appears to be very rare for GSA to evaporate away by simply ignoring it. Family and friends who tell someone experiencing GSA to just forget about it or ignore it may mean well, but they're not aware of just how overwhelming it can be. Even people who recognize the person to which they’re attracted is bad news, even abusive, may still feel drawn intensely to them. This is yet another reason why GSA needs to be decriminalized, brought out of the shadows, and dealt with seriously and respectfully.


See Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin These Relationships

See Myth: If Only They'd Known Ahead of Time, GSA Wouldn't Have Happened

Consanguinamory and Reproduction

One of the most common reasons given to object to the right to consanguineous relationships is what I call the "mutant baby" argument. Even some people who support the right to consanguinamory and have even engaged in consanguineous sex themselves join with bigots in being strongly against close relatives having children together because of prejudiced backlash or the increased risk of birth defects.

In regards to the prejudiced backlash, the answer is not to let bigots have their way. It is for bigots to lose their power to bully, prosecute, and break up homes. Don't want children of consanguineous parents to have a hard time? Do not give them a hard time.

In regards to the increased risk of birth defects, scientific understanding is often lacking.

Most sexual encounters do not result in a birth. Many people who have relationships or marry never have genetic children together; some people in consanguinamorous relationships choose not to. So, we must recognize the differences between sex, marriage, parenting, and reproduction, and not ban the first three because of concerns about the last one.

But let's deal with that last one.

Most births to consanguineous parents do not produce children with significant birth defects or other genetic problems; while births to other parents do sometimes have birth defects. There are happy, healthy, bright, attractive people born to close relatives who are productive members of society. We all know some, whether we know it or not, and whether they know it or not. It is that common. (Sometimes, they were conceived by an abuser, but often, not by an abuser but by mutual lovers.) We don’t prevent other people from marrying or deny them their reproductive rights based on increased odds of passing along a genetic problem or inherited disease. For example, it is entirely legal in the US and most other places for someone with Huntington's Disease to date, have sex, marry, and have genetic children. How can such rights be denied to people who are genetically healthy, simply because they are close relatives?

It is true that in general, children born to consanguineous parents have an increased chance of genetic problems than those born to nonconsanguineous parents, but the odds are still minimal. (UPDATE: Please see this wonky elaboration written by a Friend of FME.) There are US states and there are countries where consanguinamory is not illegal or at least it isn't prosecuted. Sweden will legally marry half-siblings in some circumstances. A comparison of the rate of genetic problems in these places to places that criminalize and actively prosecute consanguinamory reveals no discernible increase in genetic problems in the places that embrace this relationship right.

If a natural talent or gift runs in the family, the children born to consanguineous parents will be more likely to inherit and manifest that beneficial result as well; a birth benefit. But there are increased odds of problem with births to older parents, too. There's no stigma assigned to that, and it isn't illegal for older people to date, have sex, marry, and have genetic children together.

Anyone concerned about these things should have genetic testing and counseling. People who are not close relatives can pass along health problems, too.

The "birth defects" argument also implies that people with disabilities or some other birth defect are living lives so terrible that they should never have been born at all. Yet, there are many such people who are leading happy, fulfilling, productive lives.

But a current problem, in some (not all) cases, is that in giving birth, consanguineous parents will be outing themselves to someone who is prejudiced, and there will now be evidence of their (in some places) illegal love that can be used against them.

There are consanguinamorous parents happily raising their healthy children together. But some consanguinamorous relationships face very real threats. Again, the answer is to stop the persecution and prosecution. There is no good reason to deny consenting adults their equal protection of having their relationship and reproductive rights.

Consanguinamorous or not, anyone engaging in heterosexual intercourse should be aware of the possibility of pregnancy, the various forms of birth control and other options available, and the realities if pregnancy, birth, and raising children.

UPDATE: Jane has a great essay on these topics here.

With all of that in mind, let's look at this thread on a consensual incest discussion board. (The discussion is explicit, so if you have a problem with that, you are warned.)

carebear82 wrote…

Spirit Day is October 21

Thursday, October 21 is Spirit Day. Among varying activities, people wear purple in support of LGBTQ youth, against bullying.

Nobody should be bullied, harassed, or discriminated against because of their gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities or those of their family members or friends.

Are you observing Spirit Day? Leave a comment below telling us about it.

How You Can Help

International Pronouns Day 2021

Wednesday, October 20, 2021 is International Pronouns Day. 

International Pronouns Day seeks to make respecting, sharing, and educating about personal pronouns commonplace. 

 

Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity. Being referred to by the wrong pronouns particularly affects transgender and gender nonconforming people. Together, we can transform society to celebrate people’s multiple, intersecting identities.

It is also important to remember that if you're not ready to come out, or not ready to come out to specific people, and telling them your pronouns would out you, it is OK to wait until a later date.

Gender, Sexuality, and Relationship Diversities are something to embrace and support, not discourage or discriminate against.

Pennsylvania Must Bring Laws in Line With the Constitution

According to a paywalled story found here, a man charged for "incest" for having consensual (to be redundant) sex with another adult is challenging the Constitutionality of Pennsylvania's unjust, outrageous, and, yes, unconstitutional laws denying basic human and civil rights. Of course we wish this man well in fighting for civil rights and bringing the laws in line with the Constitution. Pennsylvania should be ashamed of having such terrible laws in place.

I found this related article from msn.com back on what was Independence Day, which is supposed to be a celebration of life, liberty, and happiness. Those are what are being denied to the consanguinamorous.

A brother and sister in their 30’s in Beaver County are being charged with incest after a relationship between the two was revealed.

Who was the victim of this "crime?"

According to the Beaver County Times, the two, half-siblings, both of Freedom, are being charged after police were told of the sexual relationship, which included the two having a child together.

Emphases mine.

DO NOT TELL THE POLICE!!! IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!!

We know that child is healthy, as most children born to these relationships are.. Otherwise, the article would have mentioned the child's health.

While police were investigating a reported physical assault at the home the two share, the woman told police the two had a child together.

Self-incrimination. DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE!

Police were also told that other family members knew of the relationship and the child.

Isn't it normal for family to know these things? Family should be supportive.

The Beaver County Times reports that the woman in the relationship had posted bail, while the man remains in jail on incest charges as well as simple assault and harassment charges.

If he has committed real crimes, try him on those. Sex with another adult shouldn't be crime. Families should not be broken up over it. Children should not lose their parents over it.

Being half-siblings (they share a biological father), this could be a reunion GSA case. Whether it is or not shouldn't matter to the law. Sex should not be a crime. These are consenting adults. The Conway Borough Police Department should only concern itself with crimes in which there are victims.

Pennsylvania and every other US state must drop unjust laws that prevent consenting adults from sharing love, sex, residence, kink, partnership, and marriage how they mutually agree. There is no good reason to arrest, prosecute, and incarcerate people for being consanguinamorous.

Females Who Mate With Their Brothers and Fathers

Fruit flies... we're talking about fruit flies. Below is the news I found on my own, but first is this take on it by Alex B. Berezow at realclearscience.com, provided by a kind friend of FME. Don't be shy about calling my attention to anything relevant to this blog.

The article says "inbreeding" isn't all bad, despite popular notions...

If acted upon by natural selection, bad mutations can be wiped out more easily, thus speeding the rate of evolution. And for some reason, third- and fourth-cousins that marry each other in Iceland have more children.

But what about the fruit flies?

When given a choice between a brother or a non-brother, females preferred mating with their brother. But, males did not prefer their sister. They simply tolerated mating with their sister, picking them roughly half the time. Similarly, females showed no preference when choosing between their father or a non-father, picking their dad about 50% of the time. Males wooed their moms, but no successful mating occurred.

Interesting.

The authors conclude that inbreeding occurs in fruit flies because it may increase their inclusive fitness.

The  article's author makes bigoted comments to make it clear he is disgusted, or at least wants us to think he's disgusted.

Source: Loyau A, Cornuau JH, Clobert J, Danchin É (2012). "Incestuous Sisters: Mate Preference for Brothers over Unrelated Males in Drosophila melanogaster." PLoS ONE 7(12): e51293. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0051293

I am compelled to point out that consaguinamory and consanguineous sex or marriage do not necessarily mean inbreeding, and most children born to close relatives are healthy. And, as I often mention, what happens with other species, especially ones as different as fruit flies, doesn't necessarily apply to humans. But it is fun to have information like this handy when someone tries to tell you that consanguinamory is unnatural. Funny thing, is, none of these people who say this go a single day of their lives without unnatural things.

Here's the journal piece I had already found on this...

We investigated male and female mate preferences with respect to relatedness in the fruit fly D. melanogaster. Experiments offered the choice between a first order relative (full-sibling or parent) and an unrelated individual with the same age and mating history. We found that females significantly preferred mating with their brothers, thus supporting inbreeding preference. Moreover, females did not avoid mating with their fathers, and males did not avoid mating with their sisters, thus supporting inbreeding tolerance. Our experiments therefore add empirical evidence for inbreeding preference, which strengthens the prediction that inbreeding tolerance and preference can evolve under specific circumstances through the positive effects on inclusive fitness.

The information is extensive, complete with many references. It is good reading for those of you who enjoy scientific journals.

Coming Out Day

Life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is today, Monday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBTQ, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting. You can do so anonymously.

Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin GSA Relationships Because a Person Needs a Nonsexual Relationship With Their Genetic Relative

Reality: Sometimes including sex in the relationship is the best option for the relationship.

By definition, people experiencing reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction didn’t have ongoing familial relationships with the person(s) to whom they are attracted. They may want to develop one, and they may already be happy with their existing familial relationships.

Many people report that consaguinamory made them much closer, even if they have ceased that part of their relationship.

As far as someone needing a nonsexual relationship with a relative… in many situations involving GSA, the person does have a nonsexual relationship with some genetic relatives. On the other hand, there are people who never have any relationship whatsoever with their close genetic relatives who do quite well in life.

What people need in their lives is not to be subjected to abusive relationships, regardless of whether there is a close genetic relation. What people need is not to be criminalized or bullied or discriminated against for whatever consensual relationship they have.

See Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA

See Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away

Twins Share a Spouse

Someone left a comment with this link (thanks!) and I figured I'd take a look at it. The article is from more than five years ago. It's "by" Singapore Women's Weekly. I will add the warning that there is non-consent in this article.

The writer says that "May" (not the actual name - nor are the others in the article) is her twin sister.

I have never felt that I needed anyone else in my life other than May. She’s not just a sister and best friend, she’s my confidante whom I can trust all my secrets to. Even when we went to different colleges, our bonds did not break. We might have developed some different friends and priorities then, but we still talked about everything and shared everything… from new interests to gossip in school… and cute boys we liked. 

Hmm...

New Zealand Still Prosecuting Consenting Adults

In what must be a national embarrassment and perhaps a disgrace, consenting adults are still being prosecuted in New Zealand for having sex. 

You read that right: Criminally prosecuted for having sex.

Coverage of this outrage was provided by nzherald.co.nz...

A Hastings woman in her 30s has pleaded guilty to committing incest with her brother.

This wasn't an assault. It was sex. Why is this a criminal matter???