Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Yuletide Greetings, Solstice Salutations, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!

Whatever holidays you celebrate(d), or even if you don't celebrate any, We wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.

May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.

I plan to update this blog as I can over the holidays, so keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe in the column over there on the right if you haven't done so yet.

Stay Strong and Demand Full Marriage Equality

We tend to take an optimistic view overall on this blog, because we believe that all adults will be free to enjoy their rights to have their relationships and marriages without being criminalized or treated as second class citizens. However, Matt Baume warns in this commentary at huffingtonpost.com that recent advancements in the US could be rolled back under the combination of the Trump administration and a Republican-controlled Congress.

Step 1 is simply to weaken the protections of marriage. They can’t stop marriage altogether, not at first. But in a variety of states, there are subtler efforts already underway.

For example, the Arkansas Supreme Court just gave the state the green light to withhold certain rights from same-sex married couples. In that case, it was the right to have both parents named on their kid’s birth certificate. The court said that straight couples can automatically be listed as parents, even if one isn’t biologically related to the child. But gay couples can’t.

There isn’t even a pretense here of separate but equal. It’s explicitly separate and unequal.

And take a look at what’s happening in Texas: there’s a group of citizens suing to stop Houston from providing spousal benefits like health insurance to the same-sex spouses of city employees. This group says that even though the state has to issue a marriage license, it doesn’t have to go further and treat the couple as though they’re married. There’s also a bill called SB89 that goes even further ― it says that the Texas constitution, which prohibits same-sex marriage, trumps the US Constitution, so the state shouldn’t issue any licenses to same-sex couples at all.

These things are outrageous. It is the law of the land, nationwide, that nonconsanguineous same-sex couples have the same freedom to marry, and be treated the same, as heterosexual couples. Any attempt to subvert that is an egregious violation of law. We'd  hope that even many of the people who strongly opposed this freedom to marry would accept that it is the law of the land. There's no good reason to deny any adult the right to marry.

This is an example of why it would be good to get a Marriage Equality Amendment into the Constitution.

Solidarity is needed more now than ever. We will not go back. We will keep moving forward.

Solidarity Helps

Over and over and over again, this blog has called for solidarity between marginalized communities and their allies so that we stand up for the rights and dignity of all adults to be themselves and have their relationships. So a headline that reads "The great divide: polyamory, 'throuuples' and the LGBTI community" caught our eye. It's from something written by Corey Sinclair at starobserver.com.au.

AS the battle for marriage equality wages on for lesbian and gay men, and the popularity and awareness of the polyamorous lifestyle continues to rise, the divide between the two communities seemingly grows larger.

That's a sad way to start.

It is not uncommon to encounter ‘throuples’ in the gay community, but for many polyamory has become a dirty word. One that is seen as a possible obstacle to achieve their ultimate end goal – marriage equality.

The freedom to have polyamorous marriage is an essential part of full marriage equality.

When relationship coach Anne Hunter co-founded polyamorous community group PolyVic in 2004, it was much more of a queer collective. But as time passed, “queerphobic” heterosexual members joined, and the push towards marriage equality meant more and more LGBTI felt uncomfortable associating with the term.

Shame on those queerphobes.

“What is really disturbing is the growing experience of condemnation that queer people are getting from other queer people about ethical non-monogamy,” she tells the Star Observer.

Ugh. How about SOLIDARITY???

Polyamorous.com.au is the latest addition to an ever expanding online poly community, gaining almost 50 new users a day.

Great.

Originally coming from a swingers background, it wasn’t until Ashleigh met someone who was poly that she felt as though she had found her place.

It's important to know the difference between swinging and polyamory. Many, probably most, polyamorous people do not swing, and many swingers would not identify themselves as polyamorous. Some polyamorous people will have fewer partners over their lifetime than some people who identify as monogamous, and other polyamorous people swing.

Some of the people quoted in the article have less optimism than we do. Full marriage equality will happen sooner or later. We're helping to make it sooner. There's no good reason to deny it. Let's work together instead of allowing the bigots to divide and conquer.

It Runs in the Family

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is, and was, clearly able to consent to her relationships. Along with her lover, she should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think her relationships are shocking, interesting, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Free Spirit: I'm 45 years old and I'm a manager at a supermarket grocery store. I was born and raised in Tennessee, so I'm a southern girl. I have two younger half-sisters. I love country music and dancing. One of my favorite hobbies is painting pictures. .


FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?

I've never been married because the only man I wanted to marry was my father, but of course, by law, we weren't allowed to marry.


FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

Back in high school, I made out with a few girls just to impress boys, but I've never had sex with the same gender before, so I'm heterosexual. My son and I are in a monogamous relationship. I don't like to share.

Expectant Parents Denied Their Rights

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The couple interviewed below are clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET BRIEFLY, SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Daughter: I'm 5'6" and I'm the only child. I'm an outdoor person. I love hiking, running, and swimming. I think I'm an average looking woman but my Daddy thinks I'm sexy and that makes me feel attractive.

Father: I'm 6'0" and I'm the youngest. I have an older brother and older sister. I'm also an outdoor person, so you can see why my daughter loves the outdoors so much.

A Bisexual Woman Denied Her Rights

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is clearly able to consent to her relationship. She and her lovers should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? If they were to move to another country, including most of the US, her lovers could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.

Nadia: I'm living in Minsk, Belarus, and I'm working as a waitress at the moment. The twins are living in a village not far away, and they are both in university.


FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

I'm bisexual and polyamorous. One of my partners is pansexual and polyamorous, and the other is demisexual and polyamorous.

We Get Letters From Consanguinamorous Daughters

We got a great comment on our Consanguinamory FAQ page. Here it is, edited slightly for English grammar.

Somebody told me about this blog and I had to see it for myself to believe it. It's actually real.

Yes it is! We're glad that people are sharing this information. It is very important for people to know they're not alone and that they deserve to be able to freely live out their relationships; that laws against such love need to be removed.

What really grabs my attention was the video from Jane Doe. She did such a marvelous job on explaining about the myths of incest.

Yes, Jane is fantastic.

No Haven From Gossip

Everything reported by "entertainment news" and gossip services, whether flattering or critical of a celebrity, has to be taken with a grain of salt for reasons we won't bother to detail. When it comes to Angelina Jolie and her brother James Haven, there are things we could see for ourselves, such as their kissing and what they said at the 2000 Academy Awards and immediately after. With that in mind, the "they're incestuous!" stuff has hit the gossip sites again.

For example, here's a report from Monica M. at jobsnhire.com, headlined with "Angelina Jolie Back In The Arms Of Her Brother James Haven; ‘Maleficent’ Actress Insufferable Since Divorce?"

Another Round of Polygamy Bashing

A trial of some people from Bountiful, B.C., Canada brings with it attaching negative associations to the word "polygamy" even though the actual problem is not voluntary relationships between consenting adults.

For example, there's this report by Daphne Bramham at vancouversun.com that is headlined "Evidence all in at trial of B.C. polygamous parents charged with trafficking their daughters." Why are the parents identified as "polygamous?" In how many articles do you ever see people on trial identified as "monogamous?" The problem here is alleged child abuse, not polygamy between consenting adults.

The trial of three parents from the polygamous community of Bountiful, B.C. charged with trafficking their 13- and 15-year-old daughters to U.S. for sexual purposes wraps up next week with final arguments.

"Polygamous community." Are there "monogamous communities?" We weren't aware towns married. Are sister cities allowed to marry?

That there are polygynous adult marriages is not nearly as important to what is going on as the fact that these people belong to a certain small religious group with an authoritarian leader who orchestrated the events in question, and the real issue is the abuse of children. Would it be any less of a problem if the minor girls were each being "married" off to a different older man rather than multiple girls to one man?

The headline to Bramham's article at montrealgazette.com was a little better, but "Obedience to prophet paramount in polygamous community, trial told" still calls it a "polygamous community." This is exactly why so many people who want ethically nonmonogamous marriages avoid using the term polygamy, even though that's the term for a marriage or marriages involving more than two people.

It is important not to lump ethically nonmonogamous people in with child abuse. We advocate for the rights of all consenting adults to their relationships, including polygamy, if that's what they want. We oppose child abuse and maintain that full marriage equality for all will actually help fight child abuse.

World AIDS Day

December 1 is World AIDS Day. It is very important to remember those we've lost to AIDS, to care for anyone battling AIDS, and to care for anyone with HIV. We must continue to work for a cure and continue to fight the spread of HIV.

We should also never forget that stigmas, ignorance, bigotry, sex-negative attitudes and shaming have helped spread HIV and AIDS.

From Russia With Love

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is clearly able to consent to her relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry, yet they could be harassed and persecuted if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? If they were to move to another country, including most of the US, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourself.Natasha: We are currently living in Russia, and I am a full-time homemaker.



FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?

We're married in pretty much every sense but legally. We had as big a ceremony as we could get away with, with our close friends, some of my brother's work friends, and our elder sister.

An Interesting Link

At Reddit, someone linked to this blog to answer "Is It Illegal to Sell Homemade Incest Porn?"

It is important to remember this blog is about real people in real relationships who are suffering real persecution and discrimination because they love each other. It isn't about porn or erotica and it isn't about a fetish people may have that might prompt them to look into "incest porn." Porn, like almost all media, usually doesn't depict reality on a consistent basis. We addressed these issues previously in this entry.

That being said, we welcome anyone who wants to know more about consanguinamory (consensual incest) and especially people who want to be allies for the rights of all adults. So, hopefully, we can shed some light on the issues raised by the question.


First, let's limit "incest" to consanguinamory, so we exclude material that depicts assaults on children and other forms of abuse.

Secondly, let's be reminded that this is NOT an opinion by a lawyer or legal advice. I'm not an attorney and I'm not claiming to give any legal advice.

Even so, this is a very complicated question to answer. So the TL;DR on this is "If you're going to sell any kind of porn, you should consult an attorney who specializes in these issues for your jurisdiction."

Full answer (again, not legal advice)...

Polyamory Terms You May Want to Know

Kathleen Burdo listed and explained "7 Poly Terms Everyone Should Know, Whether You're New to Polyamory or Monogamous" at bustle.com...

It’s easy to get wrapped in our own little communities and forget that we have our own jargon. A lot of words commonly used in the poly community — f*ck buddy, FWB, co-habitate, life partner, LDR, etc — are more general and widely used, but we have a lot of really specific words, such as “compersion” and “nesting partner,” to describe all of the various ways poly relationships can look as well as the experiences poly folk have.

She covers ethical non-nonogamy, polyamory, fluid-bonding, comperson, triad and quad, hierarchical versus non-hierarchical relationships, and primary/secondary partner(s) versus nesting partner(s).

These are good terms to know, and she also has a bunch of helpful links embedded in her article.

She returned with seven more terms, polycule, NRE and ORE, monogamish, poly-fidelity, polysaturated, matamour, and unicorn and unicorn hunters. Again, she included plenty of links.

A while back we put up our own glossary of terms frequently used here on this blog. For more terms, see this glossary by Franklin Veaux that is intended to be “a guide to many of the terms you might hear in the polyamorous community.”
People successfully experienced in ethical nonmonogamy often gain insights into relationships that are helpful to share with their monogamous friends and family. If marriage is on the decline in the West (the percentage of adults in the US who are married is at the lowest in the country's history), it could very well be saved and revived by polyamorous, LGBTQ, and consanguinamorous people who marry. It's too bad they're having to struggle to get and keep their rights to marry or, in some cases, even be together at all.

Indiana Sends Lovers to Prison

The US state of Indiana sends consenting adults to prison for having sex, even when asked to reconsider. What a waste of public resources. A ruling from the Indiana Court of Appeals on a consanguinamory case was reported by Dave Stafford at theindianalawyer.com...

A man convicted of incest for a consensual sexual relationship with his biological aunt couldn’t persuade the Indiana Court of Appeals that he was entitled to post-conviction relief.

Emphasis ours. This shouldn't even be a criminal matter. And yet, it was. So it makes sense that someone who has been convicted of such a victimless "crime" would look for any way to overturn that conviction.

The man claimed ineffective assistance of counsel for failing to argue in his defense that the man’s aunt was older than 31.

Kyle Pavan of Elwood was 23 when he was charged in 2007 with the Class C felony, to which he later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to six years in prison, with two years executed on work release and the balance suspended to probation. His probation was revoked in 2014, at which time he filed a PCR petition. His aunt, who was 34 at the time, also was charged and convicted.

A sentence of six years in prison for consensual sex. What a travesty! Don't let this happen to you.

In his PCR petition, Pavan relied on I.C. 35-41-4-2(e) that bars prosecution for incest, child molesting, vicarious sexual gratification, child solicitation or child seduction after the alleged victim reaches age 31. The state said the statute was inapplicable and that the prosecution was timely filed within the general five-year statute of limitations for Class C felonies.

“Pavan’s appellate argument is based on a flawed interpretation” of the statute, Judge Robert Altice wrote for the panel, because he argued his aunt was the victim.

Right. There was no victim, and this shouldn't have been a criminal matter in the first place!

The case is Kyle Pavan v. State of Indiana, 48A02-1512-PC-2125.

Can you imagine sitting up on a bench in robes and sending consenting adults to prison for having sex? Sure, it is better than throwing them off of high buildings, but it is still unjust and a violation of basic human rights.

This man and his aunt were not hurting anyone by being together, and yet both were prosecuted. There's no good reason do deny them there rights.

This needs to be dealt with ASAP. We need to remove any laws that discriminate against consenting adults for their relationships. An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

We Will Not Go Back

It's understandable why many people in the US are worried about the next four years under a Trump Administration, but we've renewed our call for solidarity and have explained why any existing freedom to marry is highly unlikely to be taken away.

If our word wasn't enough, here's more reassurance from Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, via Dan Savage, via nuvo.net...

“There is no realistic possibility that anyone’s marriage will be invalidated,” said Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, which has taken marriage-rights cases to the US Supreme Court (and won). “The law is very strong that if a marriage is valid when entered, it cannot be invalidated by any subsequent change in the law. So people who are already married should not be concerned that their marriage can be taken away.”

And Minter says the court is unlikely to overturn Obergefell, the decision that legalized same-sex marriage across the country.

“The doctrine of stare decisis — which means that courts generally will respect and follow their own prior rulings — is also very strong, and the Supreme Court very rarely overturns an important constitutional ruling so soon after issuing it,” said Minter. “Even the appointment of an anti-marriage-equality justice to replace Justice Scalia would not jeopardize the Supreme Court’s 2015 ruling on marriage equality, and the great majority of Americans still strongly support the freedom of same-sex couples to marry.”

Let's continue progress!

It Is Not Too Early to Think About the Thanksgiving Holiday

It's not too early for Americans to think about the holiday, which always falls on the fourth Thursday of November.

Thanksgiving Day is a huge holiday in the US, centered mainly around a special family meal. In case you haven't noticed, Americans like to eat a lot. Since Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday, Friday is a holiday as well (at least as far as the government is concerned). Because Thanksgiving is considered to specifically be about family togetherness, it can be a painful time for those who have been rejected by their family because of their gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or choice in partner(s). Some LGBT people, poly people, and those in consanguineous, intergenerational, or interracial relationships are reminded every year that even their own family hates them.

Some people make the best of this and plan a Thanksgiving meal with friends. I throw out a special “good for you” to anyone who hosts such a meal this holiday. Keep up the good work. I think such gatherings are much more enjoyable anyway. If you don't have one to go to, consider hosting your own!

But I also have words for anyone who has driven away or banned someone in their family because of that other family member’s identity, orientation or partner(s): Shame on you. You don’t have to like your family member’s sexuality or how they live. But you should reach out to them and support them instead of driving them away. Every person at that table does things you don’t like. Why single out a family member for punishment because of who they love? If your family member has a partner whose family is more accepting, guess who is going to win? Guess who is going to get to play with any grandkids/nieces/nephews? Not you. Think about it. Maybe it isn't too late to make amends and have them over for this year's holiday. This might help.

If you can’t go “home” for Thanksgiving and you are feeling down and you haven’t managed to make plans with friends, consider hosting your own Thanksgiving and invite some friends. Or, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other charity location that will be helping people that day. Don’t allow sadness or loneliness to take hold. You can find a place where you will be welcomed.

Solidarity is Needed Now More Than Ever

There are two major political parties in the US, and due to the recent election, the party that has consistently opposed progress when it comes to diversity (especially when it comes to gender, sexual orientation, and the freedom to form marriages and other relationships) will, as of January 20, 2017, have the Presidency and control both houses of our bicameral Congress. The other branch of the federal government is the Judicial (the courts) will have judges appointed per the whims of the leadership of that party when there are vacancies. That includes the Supreme Court, where there is currently one vacancy.

The good news is that it is extremely unlikely that there will be any loss in the advancements of the freedom to marry. Last year, the Supreme Court ruled for the limited, monogamous, nonconsanguineous freedom to marry nationwide. To change that to take away that freedom, it would take 1) the same court (albeit, with some different justices) overturning itself or 2) a Constitutional Amendment. Neither is going to happen. The Supreme Court is very reluctant to flat-out reverse itself, and I don't think they've ever done it in a way that takes away rights from people. So even if a court case could get into the system, which I doubt will go to the federal level, it isn't going to result in a reversal. Constitutional Amendments are very difficult to pass, and the political will to do it just isn't there. More and more people are seeing that same-gender couples being married is a good thing.

The bad news is that 1) progress may be slowed, and 2) federal agencies may drag their feet when it comes to protecting the civil rights of people who have or are involved with gender, sexuality, and relationship diversities, such as LGBTQ, polyamorous, and consanguinamorous people. It would be great to see the Brown family's case against Utah's ban on polyfidelity reach the Supreme Court and be decided in the best way possible, but that's less likely than it had been before the election. It could  still happen though.

If a few Senators switch parties or Senate seats change parties due to Senators being removed, control of the Senate would switch. Even without that, a third of the Senate will be up for election in 2018, and the entire House of Representatives will be up for election. It is also possible both major parties will get on board with seeking progress in these areas, realizing that pandering to prejudice is, in the long run, a losing strategy. It would be great to have people running for office who will take this pledge.

This is an English-language blog, and as such, we are especially interested in and able to follow developments in countries where English is a common language. For example, Australia needs to step up and get moving on marriage rights. They are behind other English-speaking countries such as Canada, the US, Ireland, the UK, South Africa, and New Zealand. Progress continues to be made all of the planet, and we are interested in that, too.

What is needed more now than ever, within nations and internationally, is solidarity. The civil rights of all adults need to be advanced, not stalled or rolled back. Standing up for all adults at the same time, rather than focusing on limited advancements for this group or that group, is what is needed. An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage, and any other legal arrangement offered, and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.


Here's how to help.

I answered a question on Tumblr regarding the election that discusses some of the same things.

Here's Jane's open letter to President-elect Trump.

We Get Letters From Sons

From time to time, people who are in consanguinamorous relationships leave comments on this blog. Here are comments from two different people.

Anonymous responded to a previous comment on this blog's all-time most popular entry.

I also am in an adult mom/son love. Fell in love (and in bed) with mom 12 years ago.

Twelve years! Congratulations to them on their love.

Best romantic relationship of either of our lives.

That's how most people in these relationships feel, from what they've said to us.

No abuse or molestation here, I'm now 51 and mom is 69.

That would place his mother at age 18 or so when she gave birth to him. We'd like to know more, such as if this was a situation where someone else raised him (which would tend to indicate Genetic Sexual Attraction being involved) or if she raised him. They were about 39 and 57 when their relationship became consanguinamorous.

Another response was left after a comment on an interview.

I connected romantically with my mom when I was 38 and she 51-been together ever since.

I'm assuming this Anonymous is also a son rather than a daughter, based on where the response was written. Unless there was a typing error, this would mean his mother birthed him at about age 13, which of course was very young, and making it more likely she didn't raise him or she was more like a sister to him if they were together. There's no indication given how long "ever since" is, but was with the example above, these were obviously consenting adults when they started getting sexual.

I hope you have a successful courtship and loving romance.

That was in response to what was written at the link. It's very important for people in consanguinamorous relationships and their allies to support each other, given the prejudice and persecution that still exists. That's why forums like Kindred Spirits are needed. There is no good reason people should have to hide; rather, all adults should be free to have their relationships.

We would like to hear more from both of these Anonymous sons and anybody else who is in a "forbidden" relationship with another adult or other adults (or their supportive family and friends). Reach Keith at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com, whether or not you want to do an interview for this blog.

Veterans Day

Today is the Veterans Day holiday in the US.

Fortunately, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which prevented LGBT people who are open about their orientation from serving in the military, died a long-overdue death, and is cold and buried. A LGBT-friendly President serves in the White House. The Supreme Court, while not doing everything it could, has brought about the national limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry. Binational LGBT couples are better off. Polyamory is out of the closet and the polyamorous freedom to marry is gaining support.

I can’t help but think of the men and women who risked their lives (and those who gave them) and endured so many things in service to their country, who weren’t and haven’t been free to be who they really are and share their lives openly with the person or persons they love.

Other problematic laws and policies remain, and, of course, the polyamorous and consanguinamorous still endure the the threat of prosecution, persecution, or discrimination. We're also facing a new Administration that may try to roll back rights.

Shouldn’t someone who risked their life for this county be able to marry more than one person, or a biological relative? Or at least share a life with the person(s) he or she loves without a fear that their own government will be against them? Is bravery and valor negated if a man loves more than one woman, or his long lost sister? Shouldn’t a woman who served be free to marry both of the women she loves?

Let’s thank our veterans, especially those who are still being treated as second class citizens.

Moving Forward

Here in the US, we just had a very divisive election. Every election will mean winners and losers. Some dreams will be realized and others will be shattered. It is behind us now and it is time to evaluate the good news and the bad news and move forward the best way we can.

There is still so much to do in North America and around the world.

We will keep working, because every adult, regardless of their gender, sexuality, or relationships with other consenting adults should be free to live, work, love, and play without having to hide who they are or their relationships. Every adult should be free to live and to share love, sex, residence, and partnerships/unions/marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without fearing prosecution, persecution, bullying, harassment, or discrimination.

We will keep working to repeal and overturn the discriminatory laws, replacing them with protections, and change the stigmas, prejudices, and bigotries.

We will keep working to protect our youth and anyone who is curious or questioning or transitioning and to let them know they’re not alone and it gets better.

Whether you want to marry, want a divorce, or never want to marry; whether you are gay, lesbian, hetero, bisexual, pansexual, or another orientation; whether you are cis, trans, fluid, intersex, or any other identity; whether you are asexual, aromatic, demi, swingers, monogamous, polyamorous, dominant, submissive, in an interracial or consanguinamorous relationship, or however you identify or love or play, we’ve got your back.

Let’s make sure it gets a lot better sooner rather than later.

Thank you for all you do for the rights of all.



Have you joined the Facebook group yet? Join "I Support Full Marriage Equality."


There is also a group called Supporting Consanguinamory.

Are we Facebook friends? I want to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Here I am.

Are we connected on Twitter? Here I am.

Are we connected on Tumblr? Here I am.

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send me a note. I can be reached at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com

Tuesday, November 8 is Election Day in the US

Tuesday is Election Day in the US.

It's a Presidential Election, and since President Obama is nearing the end of his second term, he is termed out. This means we are selecting a new President. This cycle has received much attention because celebrity/businessman Donald Trump is the nominee of one major party, and former First Lady (and, more recently, Secretary of State) Hillary Clinton is the nominee for the other major party, which is already historic as it is the first time a woman has been nominated as such. Absent something bizarre, like it or not, one of them will be elected President and will enter office January 20, 2017.

We are also voting:

1) To elect about 1/3rd of our Senate

2) To elect our entire House of Representatives

3) To elect Governors in some states.

4) For various state and local offices and in some states, on some laws.

This blog is wont tell you who should get your vote, other than to encourage you to support those who are most supportive of full marriage equality and the rights of all adults.

Another Example of Why Canada Still Needs Full Marriage Equality

We have said repeatedly on this blog that a consenting adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any other domestic partnership or civil union offered), and any of those things without the others, with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Here's another example of why Canada still needs to make progress to that goal. The report is from Cassie Williams at cbc.ca...

For 38 years, Betty Wilsack has shared her Caribou Island, N.S., home with her sister Margaret Renouf. They've split all expenses, living as a family while raising Renouf's son.

The pair are now in their 70s. But when one of them dies, the other won't be entitled to the survivor's pension, either from CPP and OAS or their employer pensions.

This is senseless.

In Canada, husbands and wives, common-law couples and same-sex couples are entitled to a spousal pension after the death of a partner, typically about 60 per cent of a full pension.

But people who are part of other types of families, for instance siblings living together, are not given the same treatment.

It's discrimination based on someone's birth.

Happy Halloween!

Is it true what I've heard, that outside the US Halloween is no big deal? Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. There are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies.

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your stories.

Interesting Search of the Day

Someone found this blog in the past day by searching...

confessions of woman who had incest when they were young and still do it now they are married

We noted so many times the how the term "incest" is way too vague. There could be several different things going on here.

It appears the person meant "women" (plural) instead of woman. The person could be referring to sisters or female cousins or even close-in-age aunts & nieces who, as minors, experimented with each other, found they liked to be together, and have kept getting together.

It could also be about heterosexual interactions, but only from the perspective of the women involved.

"Young" can still mean an adult, so it could be women who were adults who were involved with significantly older relatives, such as a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle.

"Had" gives  the connotation of consensual interaction, but if this person is really talking about a significantly older adult with a minor, that is a different matter from the other possibilities, because then the search is about someone who was groomed and conditioned and is still interacting with the person or persons who had been their abusers.

Now let's get to the other part of this...They still do it now that they are married.

The More, the Better

The more and more places we see basic introductions to polyamory, the better, as long as they aren't erroneous. Here's another basic introduction by Genesis Napel at theoakleafnews.com...

Polyamory, or poly relationships, aren’t “swinging,” “open” or cheating.

Some polyamorous relationships are open. Some. Some are closed. Some are partially open, meaning one or more people in the relationship are open to new lovers, but not everyone in the relationship is. Some polyamorous people are involved in swinging.

Poly is consensual, honest and compassionate connections between three or more people in which all parties are informed of the relationship(s) status.

That's the bare bones explanation. It could be as simple as one person who is seeing two people, and those two people know each other exist and know they are dating the same person, even if those two (who are metamours) never meet.

It’s not about having more sexual partners, it’s about having more romantic connections.

Usually, yes, but it doesn't even have to be romantic, at least not in a traditional sense. It just has to be more than what people would consider "platonic" friends.

The notion that once you are in a relationship it becomes immoral to so much as bat eyes with another person is ludicrous.

Agreed.

In poly relationships the option is open to explore new connections outside of the one already engaged in.

Sometimes they explore new connections, sometimes they don't.

Poly relationships can take many different forms and the guidelines of each are decided by those involved.

That is very important. They are deciding for themselves and together, not letting someone else decide for them.

If you sleep with other people and you don’t tell your partner or its not part of your agreement, that’s cheating just like in any other relationship.

Yes.

It's not a bad basic explanation.

A Friendly Therapist

Meredith Head at badgerherald.com profiles a therapist working in the Madison, Wisconsin area that is what we've been looking for.

Head opens  the piece talking about the problem of dealing with therapists who are sex-negative, or ignorant of diversities in desires and expressions, negative reactions to kink and polyamory.

More conservative psychologists or psychiatrists might simply refuse to treat populations exhibiting sexual problems or seeking help with communicating kinky desires to a partner.

Therapists might diagnose clients with disorders of sex or gender, turning perfectly healthy alternative sexualities into a problem to be treated.

Not good. So it is helpful to have people like Jay Blevins...

A Double Love With Rights Denied

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man and woman interviewed below are clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet they could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about their relationship. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, or even think it fits certain prejudicial stereotypes, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***WARNING: THE DISCUSSION IN THE INTERVIEW IS BRIEFLY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT***


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourselves.

James: I'm 19 and I live in a trailer with my mom in West Virginia.

Katherine: I'm 35.


FME: Does anyone else live with you?

James: We currently live alone together.

Katherine: That's right, just the two of us.

Pledge For Candidates Seeking Elected Office

We should insist political candidates take this pledge:

I, _________, hereby affirm I do and will support the rights of all adults to marriage, domestic partnership, civil union, cohabitation, and personal consortium, and any of those without the others, and that these rights shall not be abridged nor denied by the United States or any state on account of sex, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, ancestry, consanguinity, affinity, or number of participants; that all should live without discrimination and pursue their consensual relationships with each other regardless of gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities.

Feel free to adapt this to your country, territory, or province.

Coming Out Day 2016

Even with last year's US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBT people, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Tuesday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

Jane Expresses Solidarity

Our dear friend Jane has done it again. If you don't follow her blog, which is primarily about consanguinamory, you should! Here's her latest, about the overlap between consanguinamory and polyamory (which would include people like this)...

I would wager that poly regulars are usually more open minded than mono regulars because they also face discrimination and bashing from society.

While that may be the case for more polyamorous people than the general population, there are still some polyamorous people who are prejudiced against consanguinamorous people. But then, there are consangs who are prejudiced against polyamorous people. Jane does go on to note that. It's unfortunate. Solidarity is the way to go. We need solidarity to secure and protect the rights of all adults.

Another reason I bring it up is to break down some of the negative stereotypes. Consanguinamorous people are often described as ‘desperate’, where poly people have been stereotyped as sexually immoral or promiscuous, which is far from the truth. There are many closed polycules where there is no cheating going on, cheating is STILL AGAINST THE RULES in polyamory. It’s not about how many people they can shag and get away with it, it’s about developing and maintaining multiple loving relationships in an arrangement that everyone is happy with. Likewise consanguinamorous people are clearly NOT in such relationships due to being unable to find anyone else, we end up in such relationships because of the overwhelming double-love we feel. It is frustrating to many people that such assumptions are made with so little thought. I realize that making assumptions is sometimes human nature, but come on people, REALLY?

Click through to read the whole thing.

On the flip side of throwing each other under the bus is the reality that some people who are in one of these categories are more likely to experiment in the other. It is likely more the general population would, but they've internalized prejudices an thus artificially limit their sexuality for no good reason. Some people who are polyamorous or consanguinamorous realize that crossing one "taboo" didn't end the world, and was even of great benefit, so so they are more willing to put aside similar prejudices about the other category. Again, that's only some. Some people are monogamous, and being consanguinamorous will never change that, while others are polyamorous and have a strong experience with the Westermarck Effect and will never have any interest in consanguinamory (at least, outside of Genetic Sexual Attraction).

The bottom line to all of this is that no matter what your boundaries, attractions, orientation, or turn-offs, we should all support the rights of all adults to be treated equally, with the freedom to pursue their relationships.

More Reading: The Invisible Asterisk

We Get Letters From Nephews About Lifelong Romance

Anonymous commented on this entry and left us wanting to know more about his consanguinamorous relationship and his life in general. I didn't publish this comment in place because we try to avoid expletives on this blog, since some people already find the content controversial enough.

The following is my two cent's worth on this subject. At about the age of 21, I experimented with a relationship with one of my Mom's sisters to initiate a relationship with her. I was surprised to learn she had just as much interest in dating/loving me.

People get so nervous about making a move, and usually for good reason. But sometimes, they find out the feelings are mutual, or that after thinking about it, the other person realizes they would like to try taking the relationship in a new direction after all. These relationships happen more than people think.

She was 26 years older than I was, but we had such good chemistry together. she was very pretty and so much fun to be with.

Intergenerational relationships can be great. It's a matter of who is involved.

Forget It, Jake, It's Florida

Jaya Saxena at dailydot.com debunked a story that recently made the rounds about a Florida man marrying his granddaughter...

Earlier today, sites like Cosmopolitan and the Sun aggregated a story credited to the Florida Sun Post, which reported that a 68-year-old man had married his 24-year-old granddaughter. Their biological relation was unbeknownst to both of them until, according to the story, they were flipping through a photo album together and she saw a photo of her estranged father, who happened to be her new husband’s son.

While this particular story appears to be a fake, something like this has probably happened more than once as far as marriage and has certainly happened many times with relationships that don't involve marriage, due to Genetic Sexual Attraction. There are grandparents and their adult children who've had flings and one night stands who never realized they were related.

How many people know the extended family of each person with whom they have sex? When it comes to flings, one night stands, and hookups, they sometimes don't even know the real name of the person their with, and it no doubt happens at swinger parties and other casual encounters. Who compares IDs, family trees, and DNA tests in these situations?

Unless you're positive a birth didn't result (which is not always so easy for someone with a penis), anyone younger than the time since your earliest experiences with intercourse (or sperm or egg donation) could be your genetic child. Add as little as 13 years between your ages and the person could be your genetic grandchild.

There are also people who don't know that the man they think is their biological father isn't, either because of sperm donation, or an affair, the conception being from a prior relationship, or ethical nonmonogamy. This also means they could have a genetic grandfather they don't know.

But let's get back to the article...

The Twitter account @_FloridaMan, which chronicles the weirdest Florida news, tweeted that floridasunpost.com was only registered three days ago, implying that there’s no way it could be a credible news outlet.

These sorts of things seems to be more and more common.

The Daily Dot has reached out to the Florida Sun Post regarding the story through a contact form on its website, which, after hitting “submit,” said “Thank you for contacting Boston Leader.” You may remember the Boston Leader for being the site that started the fake story about the baby gorilla named “Harambe McHarambeface.” So yes, this story is probably fake.

Probably.

And for now, we can all rest knowing that there is one less 24-year-old married to her grandpa. 

Although that was probably written in jest, there are some young women married to their grandfather, or at least in a relationship with him, whether they know of his relation or not. There are probably also young women with their grandmother, and young men with a grandparent. Some people say they are against adult intergenerational relationships, with "He's old enough to be your grandfather." Well, sometimes he is. And as long as they mutually agree to be together, that shouldn't be a problem.