We Get Letters

This blog gets comments on many posts.

I wanted to print this comment here because I couldn’t publish it in its original form as I needed to redact a word.

I’m trying to keep things here as “safe for work” as possible, and certain combinations of letters prompt filters to kick in.

 

Left after this entry…

https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2016/12/it-runs-in-family.html

…was this comment:

My mother had a sexual relationship with her own biological father. She always said he was her favorite lover. Growing up she was in an open relationship with my father. She never hid her sexual relationship with her father.

Mom often talked about her father using her and he encouraged her to be free sexually.

When I was home from the navy she and I had a few drinks, I admitted that I wanted to make love to her. We did. It was awesome, loving, kinky.

She had a friend who was sexually active with her own son so we often hung out and often played together. Her friend’s son was thin but mom loved his big c—-.

Thank you for sharing that, Anonymous. Congratulations on your experiences.

Anyone can submit comments after entries on this blog. You can also email Keith at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Transgender Day of Visibility 2025

Monday, March 31 is Transgender Day of Visibility 

This year, this day is more important than ever. That seems to be true year after year.

Transgender people are diverse. There is no one right way to be trans.

Transgender people are everywhere. If you think you've never met a transgender person or shared a restroom with someone who is transgender, you're almost certainly wrong. You just didn't realize.

We want transgender people to know: You are welcome here. We see you. We care. We will continue to speak up for your rights.

If you're not transgender, pledge to be an ally to those who are.

It makes sense to have this day in the Spring season, which is associated with renewal and rebirth. 

No Time For Bigots

I’ve adopted a personal policy and I recommend it for anyone who supports rights for all.

I don’t have time for bigots.

Bigots will never stop the hate.

Time is wasted on them.

I save my time for helping lovers and those who want to be, helping allies, helping legitimate journalists, academics, and media producers, and the genuinely questioning, curious, confused, and uncertain. Is someone you know involved in consanguinamory and/or nonmonogamy, or some other relationship you don’t understand, and you’re not sure what to think, say, or do? Those are the people who will get my time.

In private communications, I’ll at least block bigots; maybe more.

If they leave a comment on this blog, I might analyze it in a post. If it’s devoid of any worthiness of response, it may simply get deleted. I’ll still analyze and counter bigotry I see in media. 

If they interact publicly on social media, I’ll only keep interacting if I think anyone, such as someone else observing, could benefit. Otherwise they’ll be ignored, muted, blocked; maybe reported, depending.

These ways might also be applied when someone in one community rejects solidarity with others. Throwing others under the bus isn’t acceptable. We must seek rights for all.

There is no good reason to deny people their basic rights to their identity, orientation, and the relationships to which they mutually agree, including full marriage equality.

The bigots will continue to shrink in numbers. Those who refuse to let go of bigotry will, more and more, find themselves keeping their prejudices to themselves, and eventually they will die out. More and more people will support rights for all.

You’re Not Alone - Reach Out

You are welcome to reach out to me. Although there are now, thankfully, many places for LGBTQ+ people and nonmonogamous people to find others and supportive people to talk with, it can still be difficult for people with consanguinamorous feelings or experiences to find someone to talk with.

Anyone can reach out to me, Keith, and I never share what someone tells me privately with anyone else unless you give me permission. Thousands of people have contacted me over the years. You can see for yourself how long this blog has been here.

One of the best ways to reach me is via email: fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. [Please note that if I will usually respond within a day or less, so if you you don’t see my response, check your spam or junk folder. If you still don’t see a response, try contacting me another way.]

Another great way is Wire messaging app: fullmarriageequality

I’m also in these places, where I can be sent private/direct messages: 

Facebook

X/Twitter

Reddit

Quora

I know there are many people who visit this blog who never reach out, and I understand. Thanks for visiting. Everyone is also welcome to comment, including anonymously, on posts here. You’re also welcome to write to me privately, even if just to say “hi.”

Sons and the Mothers Who Raised Them

Anonymous asked at this blog's sister Tumblr...[which no longer exists]…

Is it possible for a son to be attracted to his mother and fantasize about her even though he grew up with her? Without the westermark effect?

Yes.

This happens quite frequently. You no doubt know multiple sons who have or had such feelings. And you almost certainly know some who’ve acted on them.

Not everyone experiences the Westermarck Effect with all people they were raised with. Sometimes the effect is very weak in comparison to their attraction. Also, some people are primarily consanguinamorous in their orientation.

Whether the woman who raised him is his biological mother, stepmother, adoptive mother, grandmother, aunt, etc., it happens.

It also happens to daughters who have attraction to women. And sons who are attracted to men might experience attraction to their father. And daughters who are attracted to men might experience attraction to their father.

In reunion/introduction Genetic Sexual Attraction situations, there was never any chance for the Westermarck Effect to be a factor. But when raised with or by someone, it still might not be present, or might not be strong enough to override attraction.

If you're experiencing such feelings and need to talk with someone, contact Keith.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #15

“This oppresses women.” Gender equality and the right to be unmarried or to divorce are necessary components of full marriage equality. Anti-equality people often point to polygyny in certain cultures, past and present, where women do not have equal rights. However, this is not proof that polygyny, much less the larger scope of polygamy or polyamory, oppresses women. Women would be oppressed in those cultures with or without polygyny. If a woman wants to marry a man who has other wives rather than another man who is an unmarried man, and the other wives agree, why deny her that choice? If a woman wants to marry two men, or a man and a woman, or two women, she should have that right, too. Some women enjoy polygamy, including polygyny, and they should have the right to consent to the marriage of their choosing.

The law does not prevent a man from having relationships with, and children with, multiple women, but he can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. The law does not prevent a woman from having relationships with, and children with, multiple men, but she can't legally marry all of them even if they all agree. Three people can have a loving, lasting triad, living together for years and years, but can't legally marry. What kind of sense is that?

Protections against gender discrimination, domestic violence, and child abuse should be the focus, not preventing consenting adults from marrying. Victims of abuse would be more likely to work with authorities to stop abusers if consensual relationships were not criminalized nor discriminated against.
 
There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #14

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #16 

Why Does Someone Feel That Way?

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors.

*****

https://www.quora.com/I-m-16-why-do-I-have-sexual-feelings-for-my-dad/answer/Keith-Pullman

I’m 16, why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?

Keith Pullman

I network with, interview, & befriend adults with consensual incest experience.3y

Originally Answered: I’m 16,why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?

Most 16-year-olds are very hormonal. For some, this means they’ll have sexual feelings for a lot of people in their lives. What most people don’t admit is that this can include close relatives, including a parent.

There is also a small percentage of the population that has a sexual orientation that is somewhat consanguinamorous, meaning they are attracted to one or more close relatives in large part because they are close relatives.

If your father has raised you, and he’s been a great father, that can also factor into your attraction.

If your father didn’t raise you, but he’s back in your life now, well, a lot of people feel a very strong attraction to a close genetic relative if that relative didn’t raise them, but they are in each other’s lives now.

Finally, if your father is “objectively” attractive, that might be most or part of the reason why.

Sexual attractions are very diverse.

You are certainly not alone. You probably know other people who’ve been attracted to their own father, whether it was fleeting or they have a strong lasting attraction, or something somewhere between.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding  them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Support the Rights of All Women

March 8 is International Women's Day.

All women should be free to be themselves, to have their basic human and civil rights, whether they are cisgender, transgender, or noncomforming or fluid; whether they are asexual, heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, or pansexual; whether they are aromantic, celibate, monogamous, or nonmonogamous. Whether their relationships are exogamous, endogamous, or consanguineous. Whether they are questioning or they are certain. Whether they are raising children or have raised children or not. Whether they are married or partnered or single.

A woman, regardless of her birth, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, shaming, or discrimination.

(Same goes for any other adults, too.)

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #11

“It will be a legal/paperwork nightmare as our system is set up for couples.” That’s what the bigots said about same-gender marriage and the Americans With Disabilities Act and just about any civil rights laws. Of course it is easier for those who already have what they want to keep things as they are. But what about all of the people who are denied their rights?

Adopting the polygamous freedom to marry under full marriage equality will take much less adjustment than adopting the Americans With Disabilities Act, the Violence Against Women Act and many other laws necessary to for equal protection and civil rights. Contract and business law already provides adaptable examples of how law can accommodate configurations involving three or more people, including when someone joins an existing relationship or leaves a relationship.


There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #12

Why Do I Have Sexual Feelings For My Dad?

I'm active on Quora, and this question came up...

"I’m 16,why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?"

It's a question that might be asked at later ages, too. 

Here's an answer...

Most 16-year-olds are very hormonal. For some, this means they’ll have sexual feelings for a lot of people in their lives. What most people don’t admit is that this can include close relatives, including a parent.

There is also a small percentage of the population that has a sexual orientation that is somewhat consanguinamorous, meaning they are attracted to one or more close relatives in large part because they are close relatives.

If your father has raised you, and he’s been a great father, that can also factor into your attraction.

If your father didn’t raise you, but he’s back in your life now, well, a lot of people feel Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, a very strong attraction to a close genetic relative if that relative didn’t raise them, but they are in each other’s lives now.

Finally, if your father is “objectively” attractive, that might be most or part of the reason why.

Sexual attractions are very diverse, and they don't always "make sense." 

You are certainly not alone. You probably know other people who’ve been attracted to their own father, whether it was fleeting or they have a strong lasting attraction, or something somewhere between.

Metamour Day - February 28

Today, February 28, is Metamour Day.

It’s a day to celebrate the relationships people have with their metamours. Metamours are a partner’s other partners, or other significant others (OSOs). “Metamour” is a commonly used term in polyamory and sometimes in the wider ethical/consensual/disclosed nonmonogamy community.

Having a positive relationship with a metamour benefits everyone. Some metamours have little contact with each other. Others are best friends.

Do you have a metamour? Are you cordial? Friendly? Best of friends? If you're polyamorous and people in your life are metamours to each other through you, tell us about how that is going. Let us know by commenting below.

Here are some things to consider when meeting a metamour. 

Living Consanguinamorously - Keeping the Closet Door Closed

Someone came to this blog by searching...

How my aunt and I can hide our incestuous relationship

The answer below will apply to consanguinamorous relationships of any composition, not just aunts and nephews or aunts and nieces.

Unfortunately, people have been compelled to stay closeted due to prejudice and bigotry, sometimes enshrined in law. Whether someone has had to hide or downplay their gender identity, their sexual orientation or their "forbidden" relationship, the oppression is harmful in many ways, but some people just can't come out of the closet, at least not at a specific time in their life. In some places, it is literally a matter of life and death. Even for places where consanguinamory isn't criminalized, many people in these relationships have good reasons to hide them from at least some of the people around them. As a result, many people don't realize they know people who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

In a perfect world, people would be able to simply love other adults without such problems, but we're not there yet. Civil rights, including things like full marriage equality, are generally advancing, at least on most of the planet, but there is still a ways to go.

Much of the answer raised by the question in the search was answered in an earlier entry about how consanguineous lovers can live together, so check that out.

There's also this entry on how consanguineous lovers can avoid trouble.

I'll try to avoid repeating too much of what is in those entries.