International Consanguinamory Day

April 28, 2020 is the third Annual International Consanguinamory Day.

It is a day to celebrate and raise awareness about consanguinamory, consauinamorous relationships, and consanguinamorous people. It is important for people to know:

• They know people who are consanguinamorous, perhaps people they love and admire.
• Consanguinamorists exist in every demographic, race, class, and population and always have.
• Consanguinamory is in your genealogy.
• Consanguinamorists face prejudice, harassment, discrimination, even criminalization and murder simply for being who they are and loving other consenting adults.
• We are going to ensure that people of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship orientations, including consanguinamorous people, have their rights sooner rather than later.

The double-bond or double-love of consanguinamory is worth celebrating.

Consanguinamorous people and allies are welcome to join Kindred Spirits for support and opportunities to help others. If you’re consanguinamorous, you’re not alone!

This year, we especially welcome those who have newly enjoyed consanguinamory or have discovered or confirmed their consanguinamorous orientation due to the COVID-19 "stay home" precautions.

Do Siblings Experiment Sexually?

Yes. Some do. (Especially right now!)

That was a search that brought someone here lately, and similar searches have brought many people here. Some recent ones include...

Is it common for siblings to touch 

I had sex with a sibling 

sexual exploration among siblings 

siblings touching other siblings

Siblings (and cousins) do explore and experiment with each other, from "show me yours and I'll show you mine" and "playing doctor" and everything beyond that. Some start as children, some as young teens, some as young adults, and some try it out much later.

This has always gone on, in every society in history, and it is very common.

National Day of Silence in the US

GLSEN's National Day of Silence is Friday, April 24

Traditionally, it's a day of silence, especially in schools, to bring awareness to the prejudice, inequality, and bullying suffered by LGBTQ people. This year, so many schools are closed, but there are still ways to participate.

Along with all allies, I also think poly people and consanguinamorous people should participate.

Everyone should have the freedom to be themselves without being bullied. Every adult should have the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Young people should be free to develop relationships, as appropriate for their age, with their peers without being forced into a narrow heteromonogamous paradigm. Transgender, genderfluid, intersex, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, and other students and faculty need to see that they are supported.

LGBTQ, poly, and consanguinamorous students and faculty still have to deal with hateful policies and attacks, but with your help, that will continue to change.

Some Compelling Reading

With so many people spending so much more time at home right now, I want to call attention to the exclusive interviews that have been featured here, primarily of family members and relatives who are, or have been, involved in sexual and romantic relationships with each other.

If you are one of the more-people-than-ever who are thinking about what it would be like, or you have already added this bond to your relationship, you will see that you're not alone.

If you’d like to talk with someone who is supportive or even be interviewed contact me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

If you are looking for help, see this page.

Here's more about this blog.

A Man Denied His Right to Marry

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. As this interview is being published, there are many people spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his partner, or simply to live together without having to hide, yet they can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including where they live, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous Son: I’m 33 and mom is 55. We are Caucasian. I used to work as a cashier. Mom works as a lawyer. Mom and I both have degrees in Business Management. I am the youngest of two brothers and two sisters. We have no children and we live in [a Midwestern state in the US]. We are a heterosexual, monogamous couple and we live together.

Consanguinamory is Far More Popular Than Most People Think

At least, the thought of it is. (so is the actual thing). Again [this entry has been bumped up] we see that porn reveals what people are really thinking and fantasizing about, and what they like to see. Sure, some like "incest porn" because of the taboo, but others like it because they have consanguinamorous inclinations, even outright orientation. As we keep pointing out, though, porn, like most media, is not reality. It is fantasy. Even amateur material featuring real lovers is only a snapshot of their life and relationship. We have called on people who enjoy such fantasy material to support consanguinamorists. There should be a lot of allies out there, according to the articles examined below. Solidarity is needed.

Luke O'Neil at esquire.com points out how popular "incest porn" is getting. Be warned that the language gets sexually explicit.

Siblings, Roommates, and Lovers

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. As this interview is being published, there are many people spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his partner, or simply to live together without having to hide, yet they can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Sasha: I'm a software developer by trade and I live in a Midwestern metropolitan area. I'm in my mid-twenties and my sister is in her early twenties. We both live in the same area as our mom, although about an hour and a half away. We're both white, tall and blonde, although it's probably difficult for others to tell that we're siblings.

The Truth About Siblings

Are there siblings who have sex in real life, like the characters on Game of Thrones?

Yes.

Cersei Lannister and Jaime Lannister are fictional characters, but some real-life siblings do have sex. This has gone on for a long as there has been life, regardless of country or class or demographics. This is why the Lannisters have a lot of company in stories both ancient and new.

Abuse happens between siblings, but that's not our focus. Our focus is on consensual interaction, from youthful exploration and experimentation to spousal-style relationships formed in "the golden years," and everything between.

The Dynamics of Sibling Relationships

Are you in, or have you ever been had, a sexual or romantic relationship with a sibling? Are you aware of someone who is or has been?

Throughout history, all over the world, regardless of class or other demographics, siblings have done everything from engaged in childhood exploration to having lifelong spousal relationships with each other, but myths about these relationships persist. In a study in the 1970s, ten percent of anonymous college-aged respondents indicated that they had already had consensual sexual contact with a sibling. As they age and have more opportunities, the percentage of sibling who've had sexual contact can only rise. You know people who've been involved, whether you know it or not.

While many places have laws against siblings sharing sex and it is labeled in many places as a taboo, there is clearly a fascination with such relationships that is widespread. some media depictions, such as in the Game of Thrones television series, are very popular and considered by many to be tantalizing. Siblings have been getting together in our stories as long as we've been telling stories, whether those stories have been erotica or not.

What makes people siblings? Genetically, siblings are people who share at least one genetic parent. Sharing one makes them half-siblings. Sharing both would make them full siblings. People can also be siblings by affinity, such as stepsiblings, meaning that each has a parent who married each other, or they were adopted by one or both common parents, or even that that genetically unrelated embryos were donated to and implanted in the same woman. Socially, people can informally be siblings through longtime cohabitation during childhood, even though no formal adoption or marriage legally links them.

Genetic siblings are often, but not always, raised together. Full and half siblings can grow up separately due to age, parental breakups and custody agreements, cuckolding, gamete or embryo donation, adoption, even deportation. For example, a couple might have their first child together at 19 and their last child together at 39. Those children will be full blood siblings, but will be 20 years apart in age, and it could be that the elder sibling has moved away before the youngest is even born. Embryos donated to different parents can be full siblings, raised apart. There are many scenarios in which half siblings are raised apart.

A Fateful Dance

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her partner, yet she can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Nicole: I am a 41-year-old mother of three children. I am employed. I live in Canada. I enjoy spending time with my children. I enjoy doing many different things.

Why Moms?

This question was asked at this blog's sister Tumblr. Here's the answer.

National Siblings Day

It’s National Siblings Day, at least here in the US. 

In keeping with the interests of this blog, we want to celebrate all people who love their siblings, especially if that includes supporting your sibling as they face discrimination for their gender identity,  their sexual or relationship orientations, or their relationships or sexuality.

We also want to celebrate all siblings in consanguinamorous relationships. For many of them, there is no more important person in the world than their sibling(s).

So if you have a good sibling, let them know you appreciate them.

Here's one of many interviews I've done with consanguinamorous siblings. There are more here.

If you have siblings or children or a parent or some other close relative or friends in such a sibling relationship, this is for you.

Sometimes middle-aged siblings experience a change in their relationship dynamic. Unfortunately, siblings are still denied their freedom to marry in most of the world.

Finally, there is some really wonderful, painfully realistic fiction about a sibling relationship.

Comment below or email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com if you have something you want to share about your sibling(s).

Acceptance Not Condemnation

Jane Doe continues to blog with great entries. This time, she explains how people hurt when they should be helping instead.

However, how can we be sick simply for falling in love with someone?

Excellent question! Consanguinamory is not sick.

None of us in our community asked to be consang, with all the complications that brings to our lives. But for better and worse, we are. Right now, consangs face unique struggles, our love is often one that dare not speak it's name aloud. Yet in reality, we do not differ from other people in all the ways that really matter in life. We fall in love, we spend our lives together, we have families, sometimes we are lucky enough to grow old together, in the shadows, unseen, unsung and uncelebrated. 

No, we're not sick people, we're normal human beings with normal lives made all the more complicated and anxiety ridden by the burden of secrecy and fear placed upon us. We don't need 'help' either, because there is nothing at all wrong with being a consang. I'm very comfortable with my sexual identity thanks very much, I wouldn't change it for the world, because it's a part of me and it's made me who I am.

Jane is on target!

In short, there is no reason or need to 'help' people who are happy with their sexual identity, regardless of which orientation they happen to belong to. And yes, consanguinamory is an orientation, just as normal and just as healthy as any of the above. It does not make us evil, and it does not make us sick.

Thanks, Jane! Go read the whole thing, and more of her blog.

Harassing consenting adults for loving each other makes things worse, not better. Make things better. There is no good reason to deny consenting adult their rights to the relationships to which they mutually agree, including marriage.

There good chance someone you love or at least appreciate is consanguinamorous. Make things better for them, not worse.

A Meeting of Needs

While we more often hear from siblings, nephews/nieces/uncles/aunts, and adult sons/daughters and moms/dads, we do sometimes hear from adult grandchildren and grandparents. A man from India contacted me and we discussed his experiences with his grandmother. He first became sexually interested in his maternal grandmother when he was staying with his grandparents, and other relatives, during summer vacation when he was a preteen and she was in her early fifties, but that interest wouldn't be fulfilled until later, when he was an adult.

Read about it for yourself...

*****

Anonymous: Years later my Grandpa passed away. My parents tried their best at convincing Grandma to come and stay with us. It took a couple of years, before she eventually moved in with us. 

We had her move into our guest bedroom, which was right next to my room. This was when I was 21 and she must have been around 63 at that time. I still stayed with my parents at that time, I was in college and since my parents were working, we had the house to ourselves a lot. 

Whenever it was the two of us, I would get close to her and flirt with her. I would always say things like how beautiful she looked, and how much lucky Grandpa was to have her. She would just blush and giggle. I would do this thing whenever I got back from college, she would be in the kitchen standing and doing her chore, and I would sidle up to her and give her a back hug. I would then rest my head on her collarbone and then we would talk. I could see that she was definitely enjoying all this, as she never stopped me and even she reciprocated by hugging and kissing me more. We grew more closer than ever before.  

So Much Time at Home

It sure is good to see Jane Doe blogging again! Recently, I posted about people spending more time at home these days, and Jane has a great new post touching on the same theme.

For those who are in a relationship and not living in the same household, it means not being able to see each other in person. While those couples can obviously use the phone, social media and video call apps to continue their relationship at a distance, it is obviously not the same as being together in person, and it renders physical intimacy impossible. Needless to say, this is a massive challenge because the order to stay at home and not get physically closer than two meters distant from anyone who is not a member of your household still needs to be obeyed for public safety. If you're in this situation, hang on in there... just remember, this isn't for forever, it's just until they get this thing under control.

Very thoughtful. I didn't even address that.

Other people are in the equally difficult situation of being closeted consangs sharing a household with other family members. Oftentimes it's young bro/sis couples who are hiding it from their parents, other times it's parent/offspring couples hiding it from the younger parties siblings. Either way, it means that people aren't going to be out of the house at times they usually would be, for work or leisure. This means that the closeted couple may not have the usual times of the week where they can be themselves. For instance, a brother and sister who get time to themselves when their parents are out on a Friday night at the pub or cinema, or on a couple of days in the week when both would usually be at work. In many households, at least one person is now unable to work because their job is not classified as essential (such as, someone working in a coffee shop or beauty salon). Couples for whom this is true have a few options. You could either put your relationship on hold until after the crisis, sneak around in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep, or come out to the other members of your household. It's a tough choice, but entirely yours to make according to your own circumstances. None of these options are ideal, but they appear to be the only ones available to you given the circumstances.

Although consangs might find it alarming, sometimes others close to you know on some level even if you haven't come out to them. And then there's the fact that everything from outright being "caught in the act" to someone getting a vague hunch is more likely to happen if you're spending all day and night in the same residence with them. Haven't you ever been able to tell people are in love just by looking at them, even if they aren't doing anything romantic? Still, even if you think someone knows, it can be best to leave it unsaid. It all depends on who would be told and what the circumstances are. Whether or not to formally come out is a decision you and your lover(s) should be able to make together.

Then again, there are relatives who have feelings for each other and who may not yet have made those feelings known. If they're members of the same household and they do not share with other family members (for example, a brother and sister who are housemates to keep costs down), then it is entirely possible that this enforced stay at home order could intensify those feelings and even help them take the final step and become a couple.

I'll add that, subject to the circumstances, there might not be anything wrong with experimenting with each other even if neither of you would want to become an official couple (or throuple, or...). If you love each other and treat each other right, and you want to have "a little fun," that's OK, too.

Are you dealing with any of these issues? Has staying home already had some interesting results? Comment below (you can do so anonymously, if you prefer) or contact me privately.

Dear Abby Letter From Fed Up in Ohio Likely Describes a Beard Situation

Advice columnists no doubt get many more inquiries dealing with consanguinamory situations then are printed. I’m thinking this one sailed in under the radar. FED UP IN OHIO wrote to Dear Abby...

My boyfriend is 31 and still goes to his mother's house and spends the night, even though we live less than 15 minutes away. He knows it upsets me, yet every time she asks him to spend the night, he goes...His relationship with his mother is a large part of why we aren't married, and the fact that he continues to spend the night there is leading to huge fights. 

If he was doing this with another man, what would you think?

If he was doing this with another woman, what would you think?

Readers of this blog are not blind to what is really going on here, if he is, indeed, going to his mother’s instead of somewhere else. Many people commenting on the column at its website indicate they see the same thing when looking at this.

Guest Blog Post: Love One Another

We do accept submissions to this blog, at our sole discretion. The submission below comes from U.N. Owen. 

This blog welcomes connection with all allies and anyone who been in a "taboo" relationship or has faced discrimination because of who they are and the love they have with others, regardless of how they identify when it comes to religion or faith tradition. Atheist? You're welcome. Wiccan? You're welcome. Christian? Jew? Muslim? Buddhist, Hindu, Sikh, Jain... I can't list everyone, but you're all welcome here and welcome to reach out if you're seeking support or want to give support, support rights, or want to share your experiences.

Whatever anyone thinks of the Bible, it has clearly influenced many, and is claimed as an authority by some who are in opposition to the purposes of this blog. Some people have used it to hurt. But what does it actually say? If you don’t care, skip over this entry. This isn’t an invitation to express your complaints about the Bible. This blog, meaning the entire Full Marriage Equality blog, is here for people regardless of what they think of the Bible or any religion. Because some people cite the Bible as an authority, entries like this are important. There are people who need to read this because they try to live by the Bible or they are dealing with someone who is using the Bible against them. If that’s not you, this entry isn’t for you. Skip over it. This is for a target audience.

That's why our friend offers his thoughts below.



*****

I’ve carefully studied the question of whether the Bible forbids full marriage equality, and specifically consanguinamory. My conclusion is that the words of Christ do not condone all incest, but neither do they condemn consensual relationships between adult relatives, or indeed any other consensual love between adults.