It Is Good to Hear From You

One of the great things about this blog, for me, is that I've had so many wonderful people reach out to me over the years. They outnumber the bigots exponentially. They include people in relationships facing discrimination, people who used to be, people considering their options, and their family, friends, and allies.

The curious also reach out, whether they are journalists, other media producers, or "everyday" people with curiosity.

Many people who've reached out have expressed that they had been hesitant to do so, and some of them remain cautious. Some people over the years have dropped contact and then resumed it later, even years later.

There are only a few of us doing things like this blog, so that means that for each of us, there are many of you, the reader, the seeker. That means that if you contact me, keeping up contact will usually be up to you. If we've been in friendly or cordial contact before, but you haven't heard from me in a while, I'm sorry about that. You're welcome to reach out, no matter how long it has been. I always like hearing from you, even if it is just "Hello." If you want to update me, I'd like to read it.

If you haven't reached out yet, please know that I have honored the privacy of thousands of people. If you need someone to communicate with, if you have questions, or if you just want to share something, do reach out.

Whatever your gender, whatever your sexual orientation, whatever your relationships or hopes about relationships you want, I welcome you. Allies are welcome, too.

The best ways to contact me are...

Email: fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Wire messaging service: fullmarriageequality

Facebook

Twitter

I am also always eager to hear from additional counselors and therapists able and willing to work with the people for whom this blog exists in an affirmative, positive way.

The same goes for lawyers, attorneys, and other legal advisors who are willing to work with, advise, or represent the people for whom this blog exists.

If you're a graphic artist who wants to help out, please let me know.

Journalists and other media producers: see here.

Academics and researchers: adapt what's in this message to journalists to your situation.

Haters: Please channel your energy into something productive and kind, rather than fighting against love. If this blog upsets you, direct your attention elsewhere.

English is the only language I have mastered. If you don't read and write English, one of us is going to have to use translations and you're far more likely to get quick responses from me if you're the one who does that.

New to this blog or looking to find out more?

Intersex Awareness Day - Thursday, October 26

.Intersex Awareness Day is Thursday, October 26.

Intersex people should not be discriminated against or denied their rights, nor forced into narrow gender roles imposed by someone else.

You are welcome here!

Humans are diverse. We have diversity in our bodies, in our identities, in our attractions, and in our relationships.

Kindness and respect go a long way. Let people be who they are. Bullying, harassment, and discrimination spread hate. Spread love instead.  Let's support each other and stand up for the rights of all.

Why Do I Have Sexual Feelings For My Dad?

I'm active on Quora, and this question came up...

"I’m 16,why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?"

It's a question that might be asked at later ages, too. 

Here's an answer...

Most 16-year-olds are very hormonal. For some, this means they’ll have sexual feelings for a lot of people in their lives. What most people don’t admit is that this can include close relatives, including a parent.

There is also a small percentage of the population that has a sexual orientation that is somewhat consanguinamorous, meaning they are attracted to one or more close relatives in large part because they are close relatives.

If your father has raised you, and he’s been a great father, that can also factor into your attraction.

If your father didn’t raise you, but he’s back in your life now, well, a lot of people feel Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, a very strong attraction to a close genetic relative if that relative didn’t raise them, but they are in each other’s lives now.

Finally, if your father is “objectively” attractive, that might be most or part of the reason why.

Sexual attractions are very diverse, and they don't always "make sense." 

You are certainly not alone. You probably know other people who’ve been attracted to their own father, whether it was fleeting or they have a strong lasting attraction, or something somewhere between.

Asexuality Awareness Week

It’s Ace Week!

October 22 through 28 is Asexuality Awareness Week.

It's an international campaign to educate about asexual, aromantic, demisexual and grey-sexual identities and experiences. You are welcome here! Nobody should be discriminated against or be denied their rights for having these identities.

We recognize and support our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates, and others who are asexual.

Your existence and worth shouldn’t be denied.

Living Consanguinamorously - Keeping the Closet Door Closed

Someone came to this blog by searching...

How my aunt and I can hide our incestuous relationship

The answer below will apply to consanguinamorous relationships of any composition, not just aunts and nephews or aunts and nieces.

Unfortunately, people have been compelled to stay closeted due to prejudice and bigotry, sometimes enshrined in law. Whether someone has had to hide or downplay their gender identity, their sexual orientation or their "forbidden" relationship, the oppression is harmful in many ways, but some people just can't come out of the closet, at least not at a specific time in their life. In some places, it is literally a matter of life and death. Even for places where consanguinamory isn't criminalized, many people in these relationships have good reasons to hide them from at least some of the people around them. As a result, many people don't realize they know people who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

In a perfect world, people would be able to simply love other adults without such problems, but we're not there yet. Civil rights, including things like full marriage equality, are generally advancing, at least on most of the planet, but there is still a ways to go.

Much of the answer raised by the question in the search was answered in an earlier entry about how consanguineous lovers can live together, so check that out.

There's also this entry on how consanguineous lovers can avoid trouble.

I'll try to avoid repeating too much of what is in those entries.

Spirit Day 2023 - Thursday, October 19

Thursday, October 19 is Spirit Day. Among varying activities, people wear purple in support of LGBTQ+ youth, against bullying.

Nobody should be bullied, harassed, or discriminated against because of their gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities or those of their family members or friends.

Are you observing Spirit Day? Leave a comment below telling us about it.

Defend people against prejudice, bullying, harassment, and discrimination.

How You Can Help

Coming Out Day 2023

Life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a narrow little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Wednesday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBTQ+, or polyamorous or otherwise nonmonogamous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, nonmonogamous, consanguinamorous or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting. You can do so anonymously. You are also welcome to contact Keith if you want someone to talk with. The best ways to do that are to email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message fullmarriageequality on the Wire messaging app.

Lesbians Day 2023

Sunday, October 8 is International Lesbians Day.

Today and every day, it is good to remember that, like anyone else, lesbians should be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting partners. 

Lesbians should be free to live their lives, without fear of harassment, bullying, criminalization, or discrimination.

Thank you to all of our lesbian friends and allies!