Like Father, Like Son

Consanguinamory happens between people and their adult children more than most people think. Another forbidden relationship that is, perhaps, even more frequent is between adults and their new stepparent, especially if their stepparent is closer in age to them than their parent. In addition to steprelations being seen as incestuous, another aspect that also makes many of these relationships forbidden is when they involve cheating due to the stepparent violating a vow or agreement with the parent. (Not all have such agreements and thus the relationship with the "stepchild" would not be seen as cheating.)

At islamweb.net there was something that addressed these topics, headlined with attention-grabbing "His wife and son have regular incestuous relations together."

It appears to be an advice column. From the question...

Respected Sheikh, I am a man in my late sixties and recently discovered that my 33 year old wife has regular incestuous relations with my 17 years old son.

A few things to note right away: 1. Although this is not written so as to make clear she is not the biological mother of his son, I think if she was the biological mother of the son that would have been explicitly stated, which is not. 2. She is closer in age to his son than she is him. 3. Seventeen year-old males generally are bursting with hormones and constantly wanting sex. Leave one alone all day with an attractive person and... well, this isn't surprising. 4. It is entirely possible that where they live 17-year-olds can legally consent to sex with 33-year-olds.

When I confronted them they denied it, but one day I came home unexpectedly and found them in the act. They repented and promised not to do it again.

So this was a matter of cheating.

I am devastated and don’t know what to do. I beg you to tell me in the light of the Quran and hadith what course of actions I shall take.

This is, of course, from a Muslim website. Being cheated on, especially when the other person is another person you thought you could trust, is painful. My advice would be to seriously consider if this is unacceptable, and if he needs her to only have sex with him, if he's going to be able to treat her right going forward without going batty. If not, then the marriage should be over. But he didn't ask me. Let's get to the response was given...

Quick Basic Explanation of Polyamory

With polyamory and polyamorists increasingly becoming topics in media and culture in general, journalists and commentators would do well to know what polyamory is and what it is not.

Polyamory IS loving or having a relationship* with more than one person with the agreement of all. This can be one-on-one at a time, or in a grouping. Having this agreement doesn’t necessarily mean everyone will know everything about all involved and what they do, but it means that nobody involved has falsely promised anyone monogamy.

Since polyamory can manifest in many different ways, it can be helpful to keep in mind what polyamory is NOT…

• Just about sex, any more than monogamous relationships are just about sex.
• Cheating. Cheating is interacting with someone in a way that violates a prior, existing commitment to, or condition with, another. For example, it is not cheating for a wife to take on another lover alone if her spouse has agreed to it, even if she doesn’t tell her spouse when it happens, as long as that was the agreement between the spouses. It would be cheating if all three people in a polyamorous triad agreed not to have sex with anyone outside of the triad, and then one of them does.
• Synonymous with swinging. Swinging is when an established couple, triad, quad, etc. participates as a couple or group in encounters with other couples or groups. It can be a form of polyamory but not all polyamory involves swinging. Some polyamorists swing, some don’t.
• Synonymous with spouse swapping. Swapping usually means when one couple swaps partners with another couple, whether for one time or on an ongoing basis. It can be a form of polyamory, but not all polyamory involves swapping. Some polyamorists swap, some don’t. For example, there are polyamorous couples in which each individual has one other lover, but those lovers do not know each other. That is NOT swapping.
• Synonymous with “open relationship.” An open relationship or marriage is one that is not closed to new participants, whether they are short term or long term participants. Some polyamorists are in closed relationships, some are in open relationships. Some are not in relationships at all at the moment.
• Synonymous with communal living. Some polyamorists live communally, some don’t.Some live with people they do not have sex or a romantic relationship with and have sex or a romantic relationship with people they do not live with.
• Synonymous with threesomes (whether one night stands or ongoing) or group sex. While some polyamorists enjoy threesomes or group sex, many polyamorists have one-on-one sex only.
• Synonymous with promiscuity. Some polyamorists have fewer total sexual partners than some professing monogamists.
• Another way of saying someone is unable to commit, avoiding commitment, or a lack of commitment. Polyamory often involves multiple commitments.
• Another word for polygamy. Polygamy is marriage to more than one person. I consider polygamy to be a subset of polyamory. Most polyamorists would not describe their relationships as polygamy.
• For men who “can’t keep it in their pants.” Polyamorists exercise restraint, too.
• For “weak” people to appease their partner by “letting” their partner have sex with others.
• Abusive to women. Abusive people abuse people. Polyamorists would not consider it polyamory if a man cheats on a woman, beats her into “agreeing” to “polyamory”, or coerces her into sexual situations. Polyamorous women, like polyamorous men, enjoy polyamory and feel empowered, fulfilled, loved, and that they are loving and meetings the needs of others.
• An indication that someone is immature. There are people who try polyamory and find it isn’t for them, but polyamory involves maturity as it requires being aware of oneself and being honest and effective in communicating needs and negotiating boundaries, and meeting the needs of others.
• A fad or something new. The word may be new, but polyamory has existed throughout history, and will continue to exist.
• An STD superhighway. Polyamorists have a lower rate of STIs than the general population.
• For amoral or immoral people. Most polyamorists are moral people, often profoundly so. Some people consider polyamory as automatically immoral because it is not monogamy, but most people who say that can’t explain why someone should accept monogamy as the only moral relationship, or they cite a religious tradition that they probably aren’t living by themselves.
• Harmful to society. A good argument can be made that it is beneficial beyond just the fulfillment of the individuals.
• Something only strangers or “other” people, do. You probably know polyamorists or interact with them in your daily or weekly life and don't even know it.
• Associated exclusively with any one political movement or group or any one religious tradition or spiritual philosophy. For example, there are polyamorists who are Atheist, others who are Wiccan, and others who are Christian. In the US, there are polyamorists who are Greens, polyamorists who are Democrats, polyamorists who are Libertarians, and polyamorists who are Republicans.

About the only thing polyamorists have in common is that they are polyamorous.

Polyamory can be expressed in unattached individuals who have ongoing open relationships that consist of casual dates. It can be expressed in closed “V” relationships, or triads/triangles, or quads. There are many, many ways to live a polyamorous life. Relationships that appear to be very different from each other can all be polyamorous.

See here for more.

*a social or personal relationship, no matter how brief, that is not “just” platonic friendship. It could be called one or more of the following: loving, romantic, erotic, physical, sexual, dating, courting, spousal, or marital.

Dear Prudence on Consanguinamory in Adult Media

The Dear Prudence column/chat session, penned by Emily Yoffe, addressed topics relevant to this blog again.

Someone was snooping through a boyfriend’s iPad…

I recently opened up Google Chrome on my boyfriend's iPad and it was on private browsing. So I hit “back” a few times,

Nosey, aren’t we?

I found “Find a Shemale Lover” which was attached to a fake Gmail account. I tried logging in using the same password for his computer and BINGO. I went to user history in Gmail and found incest porn. I don't know what to say or think. I confronted him and his reply was, "It's not like I want to be with my mom!" "And I am bored with regular porn." So my question(s) are why do people watch incest porn? I have small nieces, should I be worried? Fine, he's bored, what happens when he runs out of porn genres?

“Incest porn” can mean many different things. Him mentioning his mother makes it sound like this was material depicting men with their mothers. The person with the concern did not indicate otherwise, unless her mentioning of her nieces is an implication that this was child porn, which is an entirely different matter.

People watch incest porn for the same reason they watch any other kind of porn. For arousal, for laughs, out of curiosity, for ideas, to vicariously live something they'll never experience, or to relive something they have experienced.

Porn with incestuous themes is very popular, and his viewing of the material is not an indication that the nieces would be in any danger.

But notice the issue of “find a shemale lover” was not questioned. This did not escape Yoffe…

Why aren't you focusing on the fact that your boyfriend is perusing "Find a Shemale Lover" websites? It's true your boyfriend must be very bored with porn if he needs "incest porn" to get aroused.

Enjoying something does not necessarily mean it is needed.

I think the average person would start envisioning their family members and screaming, "No, not incest porn, I beg you!"

Perhaps, depending on which definition of average we are talking about. Some people do not picture themselves or someone they know in the material they view, such as voyeurs who simply like watching other people. And again, consanguinamory is a very popular theme in erotica. Many people who enjoy it may not have any experience or desire to experience it.

But you are glossing over the fact potentially more germane to you that he's possibly using the Internet to find sexual partners. That could have serious consequences for your health.

Yes, an honest and frank discussion about fantasy and reality would be in order. The writer never said anything about their sex life or any other aspect of the relationship. If things are great, and if he’s not doing or going to be doing anything in real life that the writer has a problem with, then there isn’t an issue.

Following up, someone wrote…

Don't you know that there is not even a gap but an ABYSS between our real-life desires and our fantasies? I'm a female in her mid-30s who enjoys a very normal, monogamous, vanilla sex life. But, for as long as I can remember, regular porn's never turned me on. What does it for me is weird stuff that I myself can't even believe turns me on: fat black lesbians, incest stories (not with children!), and even bestiality. None of these things would ever appeal to me in real life (YUCK!) and there's a good chance that's what's going on with her boyfriend too—please change your answer and let her know there's plenty of us out there who just have an active imagination but no desire to bring it into the real world.

I’m so glad that response was included.

Yoffe answered by supporting fantasy but emphasizing her concerns about child porn and the boyfriend having secret encounters with others.

As with so much porn (or media in general), porn with consanguinamorous themes is not the same thing as reality. There are people in consanguinamorous relationships who do not want to be stared at during their most private moments, but would very much appreciate support for their rights. If the data is any indication, if everyone who enjoys media (erotica or not) with consanguinamory as an element were to support the rights of consanguineous lovers, we'd quickly be closer to full marriage equality.

False Alarm of the Day

Someone reading over my entry answering why consensual incest (consanguinamory) remains illegal in some place was apparently startled by this comment...

I have also been in an incestious relationship with my younger sister. ( only three years) and I also don't feel it is wrong enough to be criminalized, but her family has drove us apart ( half siblings). I'm glad there are others that think the same way I do, but I doubt I'll ever get my sister back unless things change quickly. I appreciate what you have done with this post and I hope that in time things will change for later generations so that they don't have to live in my pain. Thank you again for this article. It has given me more respect and hope for the human race.

Here is the submitted response to that comment...

u had a relationsihp with a 3yr old????!!!!11 OMG im not sure if i should report this 2 the police or not. thats absolutely PIG DISGUSTING!1

I guess some people are prone to think of child abuse when they hear the word "incestuous," (which is why I prefer the terms "consanguinamory" or "consanguineous sex") but that's not the way I read it all. I read it as that their relationship has/had only been three years long so far. Or, perhaps, that she is three years younger than the person who left the comment. I did not see the meaning someone else was so quick to find, that of abusing a three-year-old. Family does not "drive apart" a three-year-old and an abuser, as a three-year-old has little choice in the matter. Rather, family would keep an abuser away and inform the police. So I do not think that comment could possibly be about a person who is three years old.

I have made it very clear that this blog is about consenting adults, not about adults preying on children and that I am completely against child abuse.

Fight abuse. Support love.

A Wave of Progress Across the US

While the US Supreme Court moved things forward earlier this year, it hasn't yet instituted a nationwide same-gender freedom to marry, let alone full marriage equality. Instead, progress is being made state-by-state, as the US is comprised of 50 states, plus territories/districts, plus some tribal governments. 14 states so far (plus Washington, D.C., the nation's capital) have the state-wide but limited same-gender freedom to marry, and the federal government will recognize those marriages.

Many more states are in play and should be gaining the limited same-gender freedom to marry soon. There have been very few road blocks lately, and the ones we've seen have been temporary. Popular opinion has been making progress, and more politicians have been announcing support.

People are seeing the happy couples and their families and friends enjoying their rights, and there doesn't seem to be any downside that has happened in any place where same-gender couples have been allowed to marry.

While I'd like to see the Supreme Court or Congress implement full marriage equality nationwide, states should continue to keep evolving instead of waiting for national leadership to catch up. It is time to do away with the archaic, bigoted, and harmful laws that remain on the books in so many places that trample on the rights of adults and deny equality. Each and every state should recognize that an adult, regardless of gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without prosecution, harassment, or discrimination.


There are American adults, and in some cases their children, suffering right now because of discriminatory laws preventing them from exercising their fundamental right to marry or even just being together. If we really care about rights, children, equality, stability, security, and valuing family, we will let people decide for themselves what kind of relationships they will have, including marriage,if they want to marry.

Freedom of association for consenting adults is a basic Constitutional right. Just as there is no good reason to ban interracial relationships or marriage, there is no good reason to ban same-gender relationships or marriages, polyamorous relationships or polygamous marriages, or consanguinamorous relationships or consanguineous marriages. There is no good reason to limit marriage to narrowly exogamous heterosexual couples.

Recognizing relationships rights, including full marriage equality, for all adults is good for business, as many businesses have publicly stated. Their employees will no longer be treated as second-class citizens, and as more states recognize the rights of more adults, it is easier for those people to relocate there.

Now is the time to push for the rights of ALL adults. The bigots are in retreat. There's no going back. We need to demand relationship rights for all, and we need to do so with solidarity.

In discussion after discussion, we fail to see a good reason why the freedom to marry should be extended to some, but not all adults. Get on the right side of history and support relationship rights for ALL adults! Here's how.

Polyamory Featured in Dear Abby Again

FICKLE IN FORT WAYNE wrote in to the advice columnist...

I'm never happy with just one partner. It's not that I want to go out and have a different man every night of the week -- just some options. I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship, so seeing other men is OK.

There's nothing wrong with any of that.

But my boyfriend is now asking me why I feel the way I do because he is considering becoming monogamous again.

That is up to him, although it can't hurt for her to to tell him what her feelings and needs are.

I crave something different from man to man and seek whatever the other one doesn't have. I have been with my fair share of guys, yet there doesn't seem to be one person who has all the qualities I need in my life.

It could be that she is polyamorous as her relationship orientation and thus needs polyamory, and that he is able to be polyamorous, but doesn't need poloyamory.

Should I just stay single and noncommittal forever?

Being polyamorous is certainly not synonymous with being "single" and noncommittal! So many polyamorists are in relationships, and committed ones at that.

Is "fickle" the word that the column editors picked, rather than the writer? I don't think many polyamorists would describe themselves as fickle.

Each person needs to communicate what it is they need, want, and expect. The other person can either continue to see them or not. If the letter writer's boyfriend needs a monogamous woman and wants to be monogamous himself, he will stop seeing the letter writer. She should not promise him something she will not provide. That would not be fair to him, nor would it be fair to her.

This was Dear Abby's response...

Perhaps not forever, but for now, yes, until you meet someone who has more of the qualifications you're looking for. When you do, you may finally realize that in successful relationships some degree of compromise is always involved.

Maybe I'm reading that wrong, but it looks to me kike Dear Abby is assuming the letter writer doesn't need polyamory; that she isn't polyamorous as who she is. She very well may be. The people who write advice comlumns would do well to become educated by the realities of polyamory. It is out of the closet and it ain't going back in. Polyamory is not about being immature, or noncommittal, or confused, or lacking self-control. Although some people can have a polyamorous relationship for a while and then be happy in a monogamous one, for many people, polyamory is not an experiment or a phase. It is about who they are. Like being left-handed. And some some, they've been happy in monogamous relationships before but not find that polyamory is better for them. Monogamy isn't for everyone, and it isn't what is best for everyone.

The third letter in that edition of the column is about intergenerational relationships.

The Rebels Strike Back Against the Empire

Hector Tobar reports at latimes.com that self-published erotica writers are fighting back against the censors.

Yesterday, Jacket Copy's Carolyn Kellogg reported on Amazon, Kobo and other e-book retailers' cracking down on self-published erotica on their websites, attempting to remove titles of works that depict incest, rape and child pornography.

Everyone should make a clear distinction between consensual sex and assault/molestation. "incest" can be used to describe both.

What galls the self-published authors most is that their works take up themes that are commonly found in books published by serious literary authors, and in countless works of genre fiction produced by the nation's largest publishing houses and movie studios.
“Books and movies and shows about murder, incest and cannibalism will still be sold by these websites,” wrote the author Dalia Daudelin on her blog. “Dexter, Hannibal, Sleeping Beauty and Game of Thrones will not be removed, because it's a lot harder to bully people with the money for lawyers. This is censorship, and it's only being used against those who are self published.”

Isn't the way so much of life works? It is much easier to prosecute a poor person for the "crime" of consensual sex with another adult (and their their name and mugshot into the news) than it is
 to prosecute a wealthy or connected person. There are law enforcement officers out with tales to tell about the rich and famous, I'm sure.

Priorities in Law Enforcement, Journalism

An adult man had consensual sex with an adult woman. That shouldn't be a crime, but he was arrested and criminally charged anyway.

An adult woman sexually assaulted a toddler and self (apparently) documented her crime on video. She was criminally charged for her crimes, as she should be.

These things have happened in Wisconsin. But it would be nice to have some clarity and prioritizing in the reports.

Here's a report by Ashley Luthern at jsoline.com with the headline "Oak Creek Woman, Rancine Man Charged in Incest Case"....

The brother of an Oak Creek woman accused of filming her sexual assaults of a young relative was charged Tuesday with incest.

The way that's written, it appears ambiguous as to whether the "accused" refers to the woman or the brother, as in... was the brother accused of filming her, or was she accused of filming herself? Proximity implies the latter. Based on the rest of the story and another report, it doesn't seem like the brother was involved in the abuse of the toddler at all. He is being criminally charged for consensual sex with the woman.

Justin S. Surber, 33, of Racine admitted to police that he had a consensual sexual relationship with his sister, Jessica Bell, from 2012 until May or June 2013, according to a criminal complaint.

Bell, 24, was adopted and didn't find Surber, her biological brother, until last year.

So this sounds like it could be Genetic Sexual Attraction.

A Death in the FME Family

Sad news has come from a dear friend of Full Marriage Equality.

One of the most beautiful couples interviewed for this blog was together "until death do us part."

She has let me know that he has passed away. The update is at the end of their interview here.

We Get Letters

This blog welcomes comments and correspondence, whether through leaving a comment here on the blog, or emailing me, or sending me a private message on Facebook

Here’s a roundup of some of what has been written since my previous We Get Letters update.

A woman on Facebook wrote to me in a private message (and gave me permission to post her comments here)…

I found your blog FME after googling incest advocacy. As you can see from my wall, I was just reading about the upcoming debate on incestuous marriage, and was genuinely wondering what the prevalance for it was.

I'm just bisexual, not poly, incestuous etc. but I do believe in consistency and human freedom. When people always made the "if we allow gay marriage, what's to stop three people getting married, or two brothers?" argument, I have always as long as I can remember replied, "Nothing, what's wrong with that?" When my former (poly, bisexual, trans, kinky) best friend admitted to me that he used to have a thing for his sister, it was the only aspect of his thoroughly non-conforming sexuality he was ashamed of speaking about. It's interesting that now gay marriage is a mainstream thing and there's less of an imperative for people to keep omerta on the issue, more articles like the one I posted are appearing, but the reality is that people are still being prosecuted for it. I just can't believe that it's actually illegal in most countries to prosecute people for having consenting sex with an adult *at all*, never mind the issue of marriage...

I was having this conversation a few weeks ago with a friend, and said that there was no compelling reason to prohibit incestuous relationships, but that sibling-parent relationships had a potential element for abuse and perhaps there was more of an argument for regulating that. Your example of Linda and Melissa now has me rethinking that, so I'd like to thank you for giving me something to think about and THANKYOU for running this campaign at all. Poly people are really well organised now, but it must be so hard for incestuous couples to have to operate so clandestinely. Good on you for stepping up and talking about it!

What an awesome letter! But wait... there's more!

Being Poly and of The Tribe

Here's something to talk about this year at Thanksgivukkah (US holiday Thanksgiving meets the Jewish celebration Hanukkah, which won't happen again for 70,000 years.)  Talia Lavin wrote at jta.org about Jews who are polyamorous.

Such arrangements remain far from mainstream acceptance. But in the wake of the progress made by gay and lesbian Jews in winning communal recognition for non-traditional partnerships, some polyamorous Jews are pushing to have their romantic arrangements similarly accepted.

“The only kind of queers who are generally accepted in some sects are monogamous married queers, upstanding queers,” said Mai Li Pittard, 31, a Jewish poly activist from Seattle. “Judaism right now is very oriented towards having 2.5 kids, a picket fence and a respectable job. There’s not a lot of respect for people on the fringe.”

Hopefully that will change.

A former editor of ModernPoly.com, a nationwide polyamory website, Pittard has been polyamorous for 10 years and is currently involved with three partners — two men and one woman. She is a violinist and vocalist in a fusion hip-hop klezmer band, the Debaucherantes, and likes to engage in culture jamming, the mixing of seemingly disparate cultural elements. Combining polyamory and Judaism is one example of that.

“For me, polyamory and Judaism make a lot of sense together,” Pittard said. “When I’m singing niggunim or hosting people at my Shabbat table, it’s just another way of experiencing a connection with a group of people.”

Beautiful.

For more than a decade, poly Jews have connected with one another on the email list AhavaRaba — roughly translated “big love” in Hebrew. The list’s 200-plus members come from across the country and use the forum to discuss jealousy, breakups, child rearing in multiple relationships and, in one case, a poly gathering in a sukkah. They also address the challenges of being poly in a community in which monogamy and marriage are still considered the ideal.

You know, someone can consider legally married monogamy ideal and still recognize that some people are polyamorous and couldn't be monogamous if there was a gun pointed at their heads. It's a matter of human diversity and compassion. Trying to force someone into monogamy who isn't monogamous is likely going to be bad for everyone.

Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum, senior rabbi at New York’s gay synagogue, Congregation Beit Simchat Torah, says she tries to avoid that sort of judgment in her rabbinic practice. Polyamory, she says, is a choice that does not preclude a Jewishly observant, socially conscious life.

“People make all different kinds of choices, and many choices have complex issues related to them,” Kleinbaum told JTA. “The important thing is for all of us to be asking ourselves hard questions about how to create non-exploitative, profoundly sacred lives within the different choices that exist.”

Good for her.

Coming Out Day 2013

Life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Friday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

Keep Evolving, New Jersey!

Looks like the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry is coming to New Jersey on October 21! A ruling made on September 27 was not stayed by a court. So, congrats to all of our LGBT friends in NJ who will now be free to marry in their home state.

Along with Rhode Island, New Jersey currently has the most potential to keep evolving towards full marriage equality under the law, which is vital because no adult should be denied her or his fundamental right to marry the person or persons she or he loves.

An Ongoing Consanguinamorous Journey

If you aren't familiar with Tumblr, it combines blogging with networking. As a result, it is full of interesting things and you can find just about any topic portrayed or discussed there. Of interest to this blog are all of the LGBT people, polyamorous people, consanguinamorous people, allies, fetishes, and paraphilias represented there. There is much NSFW stuff that can be found there, and bloggers can flag their own stuff as such. While there is much fictional incest fetish porn material there, that sort of thing is very different than what can also be found there: people sharing their experiences with consanguinamory.

Their Own Moms is a popular blog by a young man who has had a serious romantic interest and sexual attraction for his mother and took to blogging as at outlet and to share with others who have been in the same boat.  His mother is single and he has no siblings. For a while, he has blogged about his feelings, answered questions from others. Most of those entries have been well-written and endearing. Between some of those entries have been other entries visualy depicting explicit sex that have nothing to do with the blogger or his mother, other than being a turn-on for the blogger (and many followers.)

The blogger has been on a journey. Not too long ago, that journey involved taking his mother on dates that could be construed as romantic, and there was at least one occasion where they literally slept together, but it wasn't until later that the blogger told his mother clearly that he was actually in love with her and wanted to make love to her.

His followers had to patiently wait for his updates, but if you're so inclined, you can get to the "good stuff" right now. And while he and his followers were not sure if her reaction would be disastrous or simply one of disinterest, I'll go ahead and spoil it for you and say...

Differing Ideas About the Origins of Monogamy

At irishtimes.com, William Reville wrote about conflicting theories about the origins of monogamy.

Two big studies were published exploring the origins of monogamy in mammals, which these researchers define as males and females living in breeding pairs (this does not necessarily mean each animal is always faithful).

So even when an animal is listed as monogamous, it might not actually be. Living together, having sex, and raising children are not all the same things.

Birds are quite socially monogamous – 92 per cent stay with a mate for at least a mating season – but monogamy is relatively rare in mammals. This is because both male and female birds can carry out parenting duties such as incubating eggs and feeding chicks, whereas male mammals cannot help gestate or breastfeed.

Overall, 9 per cent of mammalian species are monogamous, whereas about 25 per cent of primate species live in pairs. Monogamous animals include swans, wolves, bald eagles, vultures, Arctic foxes, coyotes, grey seals, meerkats, red foxes, snow leopards, rhinoceroses, beavers, gibbons and mole rats.

Hmmm. Calling someone a "fox" might bring a different image to me now.

Two Women Still Denied Their Right to Marry

By my count, this is the twenty-fourth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and denied their freedom to marry.

Shiro is a lesbian and wants to marry her partner.

Read the interview below and ask yourself if there is one good reason their rights to love each other the way they want should be denied.


*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

Shiro: I'm a sous chef at a restaurant in Williamsburg, Virginia, and my hobbies include swimming, dancing, going to the movies with sis and walks on the beach. I only have the one sibling, my sister, who lives with me. I've had other girlfriends, but I'm happy being with sis.

I got out of high school with my diploma, and I had always had a passion for cooking, so I expanded on that. I went to community college and went through the culinary program, which I passed with flying colors.

A Manga With Sibling Consanguinamory

A friend of FME has shared with me a manga that might be of interest to anyone interested in consanguinamory, which is a popular theme in manga. If you are interested, keep reading...

California Takes LGBTP-Friendly Step Forward

In a move that may help some LGBT parents, polyamorous parents, people who use reproductive technologies, divorced parents and stepparents, and others, California took a step forward by legislatively enacting a policy that will allow children more than two legal parents. You may recall that there was a court decision elsewhere that effectively did something similar to this legislation. A friend of FME first alerted me to this news, and I know other blogs have been covering it. Here's what was reported by Patrick McGreevy and Melanie Mason at latimes.com...

Gov. Jerry Brown signed legislation Friday that will allow children in California to have more than two legal parents, a measure opposed by some conservative groups as an attack on the traditional family.

Sen. Mark Leno (D-San Francisco) said he authored the measure to address the changes in family structure in California, including situations in which same-sex couples have a child with an opposite-sex biological parent.

The law will allow the courts to recognize three or more legal parents so that custody and financial responsibility can be shared by all those involved in raising a child, Leno said.

Awesome. California should keep evolving and adopt the polyamorous and polygamous freedom to marry ASAP. If a child has three legal parents, and they all want to enter into a marriage, why not?

Nigerian Man Arrested

No, it wasn't for a scam. Well, actually, the thing could be a scam of sorts, because we're lacking a lot of information. This report from dailyindependentnig.com says he was arrested for "incest."

A 53-year-old man and staff of the Kogi State Printing and Publishing Corporation,  publishers, Yusuf Alabi, is currently in police net for allegedly having carnal knowledge of his two daughters.

I'm not sure why it matters who employs him, unless that company is associated with the news source. More likely, I think, is that the company is a competitor. His employer's name was included, but information that could be crucial was left out. Let's keep reading...

The acting Commissioner for Police in the state, Mr. Austin Evbakhavbokun, disclosed this while parading some suspects before newsmen in Lokoja, recently.

He said the suspect was apprehended following a complaint by one Abdulmalik to the state Investigation and Intelligence Bureau, alleging that his father was having sexual intercourse with immediate younger sister.

According to the police chief, when the boy challenged his father for committing incest, the suspect threatened to kill him if he exposes him, adding that upon interrogation, the suspect admitted to the crime, which he posited, was meant to protect his children from dying prematurely.

Really? This sounds like other wild claims, such as when a man will accuse a "witch" of magically shrinking/removing his penis, which has sometimes caused lynching, or the vicious lie that having intercourse with a virgin will cure HIV or AIDS. If he really made that claim, the guy is obviously a problem. However, I do not rule out the possibility of this being a set-up. The man is 53. It is entirely possible that all of his children are well into adulthood and this was consensual sex. If that's not the case, he should be charged with rape. However, we don't know the ages of his daughters, and we don't know if he has always been in their life or not. We don't even know if the person reporting him is his son or rather a half-brother to the daughter(s) or if he has any reason to make a false accusation. If the guy is a predator, lock him up in a bad place for a very long time. If this is a matter of consensual sex between adults, it shouldn't be a crime in the first place.

From a Friend of Lily

And now for something a little different. This blog has never published poetry before, but here's something penned by a friend of FME who is a charter Friend of Lily. It is about her relationship with her brother. She and her love thought the same thing I did... that it would be great for this blog. So here it is...

Our Secret Love

Update on Carlisle Crown Court Prosecution of Consenting Adults

We now have an update on a case we noticed a few months back.Yes, adults in England continue to be prosecuted for consensual sex, taking resources away from preventing actual crimes, including child abuse. Here's the report from newsandstar.co.uk...

Frank Humphreys and Eleanor Jackson

Both Frank Humphreys, 50, and Eleanor Jackson, 22, pleaded not guilty at court to a charge of having “sex with an adult relative”.

That shouldn't be a crime in the first place.

They spoke to confirm their names and to deny the charges during a brief hearing before the city’s most senior judge, Paul Batty QC.

The charges state they are accused of having sex between December 2011 and February 2012.

And who exactly is the victim? Oh, that's right. There is no victim!

The case was adjourned for a trial early next year and both were released on bail.

We will be watching, Your Honor. Please clear them of all charges and point out the absurdity of prosecuting consenting adults for having sex.

Modern countries must keep evolving until an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, is freed to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Interesting Search Phrase of the Day

Someone came to this blog by searching the phrase consensual incest retreats.

I have no way of knowing, unless they tell me, why they were searching for that. Do they personally need one? Were they curious if any exist and are advertised as such? I don't know.

In a sense, any lodging or camping accommodation in any country or state that does not prohibit, through law or action, consensual incest would be a potential retreat for consensual incest, even if the owner or manager was unaware.

There was a discussion not long ago at the Kindred Spirits forum about having a vacation spot dedicated for such a retreat. The problem is, the purpose of such a destination would become known and those travellng to the destination would be outed, and that, unfortunately, would subject them to persecution and harassment. Discretion can help, but it only goes so far.

For those in consanguinamorous relationships, taking a vacation (or “holiday” for my many UK readers) to somewhere they are not known as genetic relatives or family members can be a liberating retreat where they can have romantic dinners out and walks in public, share kisses, and look at each other with affection and desire and not raise suspicions, or get bullied.

It can be a taste of what permanent move for protection and quality of life can provide.

There are retreats, usually held as events rather than as permanent year-round resort operations, where the focus is on sexual freedom for adults and enhancing relationships, especially open relationships or polyamorous relationships. One will tend to find much less hostility towards consanguinamory at such events, but all it takes is one person to have a negative reaction and things can get very difficult.

Consanguineous lovers need vacations. Anywhere they’ll be unknown as relatives is good, but the best option is to go to places where, in the event they were outed as consanguinamorous, their love would not be a crime.

Consenting adults should not have the hide their love for each other. Let's keep evolving until all adults have the right to be with the person or persons they love.

It would be great if someone who has property in a US state such as New Jersey or Rhode Island, or a country friendly to consanguinamory, would put out the welcome mat for Friends of Lily, and offer as much privacy as possible.