So Much Time at Home

It sure is good to see Jane Doe blogging again! Recently, I posted about people spending more time at home these days, and Jane has a great new post touching on the same theme.

For those who are in a relationship and not living in the same household, it means not being able to see each other in person. While those couples can obviously use the phone, social media and video call apps to continue their relationship at a distance, it is obviously not the same as being together in person, and it renders physical intimacy impossible. Needless to say, this is a massive challenge because the order to stay at home and not get physically closer than two meters distant from anyone who is not a member of your household still needs to be obeyed for public safety. If you're in this situation, hang on in there... just remember, this isn't for forever, it's just until they get this thing under control.

Very thoughtful. I didn't even address that.

Other people are in the equally difficult situation of being closeted consangs sharing a household with other family members. Oftentimes it's young bro/sis couples who are hiding it from their parents, other times it's parent/offspring couples hiding it from the younger parties siblings. Either way, it means that people aren't going to be out of the house at times they usually would be, for work or leisure. This means that the closeted couple may not have the usual times of the week where they can be themselves. For instance, a brother and sister who get time to themselves when their parents are out on a Friday night at the pub or cinema, or on a couple of days in the week when both would usually be at work. In many households, at least one person is now unable to work because their job is not classified as essential (such as, someone working in a coffee shop or beauty salon). Couples for whom this is true have a few options. You could either put your relationship on hold until after the crisis, sneak around in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep, or come out to the other members of your household. It's a tough choice, but entirely yours to make according to your own circumstances. None of these options are ideal, but they appear to be the only ones available to you given the circumstances.

Although consangs might find it alarming, sometimes others close to you know on some level even if you haven't come out to them. And then there's the fact that everything from outright being "caught in the act" to someone getting a vague hunch is more likely to happen if you're spending all day and night in the same residence with them. Haven't you ever been able to tell people are in love just by looking at them, even if they aren't doing anything romantic? Still, even if you think someone knows, it can be best to leave it unsaid. It all depends on who would be told and what the circumstances are. Whether or not to formally come out is a decision you and your lover(s) should be able to make together.

Then again, there are relatives who have feelings for each other and who may not yet have made those feelings known. If they're members of the same household and they do not share with other family members (for example, a brother and sister who are housemates to keep costs down), then it is entirely possible that this enforced stay at home order could intensify those feelings and even help them take the final step and become a couple.

I'll add that, subject to the circumstances, there might not be anything wrong with experimenting with each other even if neither of you would want to become an official couple (or throuple, or...). If you love each other and treat each other right, and you want to have "a little fun," that's OK, too.

Are you dealing with any of these issues? Has staying home already had some interesting results? Comment below (you can do so anonymously, if you prefer) or contact me privately.