Polyamory and Child Custody: Good News

Some good news from one of our favorite polyamory bloggers, Polly, who is a loving mother and wife. One of her husbands, Gabe (the one not recognized as her husband under the law), has been splitting from his other (and legally recognized) wife, Alison. The part that is good news has to do with the authorities.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, our family has been dealing with a Child and Family Investigator (CFI) in our home. This has involved home visits and interrogations (the CFI called them interviews) and social history investigations and all manner of invasive questioning not only of us, but also our family and friends, to assess whether Gabe or Alison should be awarded primary physical custody of their son, Junior.

The report came back today from the CFI, with the recommendation that Junior remain primarily with Gabe and our family in the event of a move, and that Junior should not be expected to travel more than 4 times per year to visit his mother.

Hooray! The investigator is not an anti-equality bigot.

Our family was described in positive terms. I was described as strong, confident, and family-oriented, and our home was described as structured and loving. The CFI had nice things to say about our three girls too: that they are good students, and welcoming of their "stepbrother."

Recently, the family won in court against Polly’s mother-in-law (mother of her other husband), who had hoped to use prejudice against Polly.

These are good signs for Polly’s family, and good signs for the polyamorous. What should matter in child custody is not whether the parents have a heterosexual, monogamous, nonconsanguineous marriage. It should be what is best for the children.