Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Coming Out Polyamorous Experience

Ada Lenore writes about coming out as polyamorous to her mother. It went well.

My mother and I don’t have the kind of relationship where we discuss things like sex or other bodily functions, and when I told my sister I was going to come out to mom, she objected, saying that mom didn’t need to know about my sex life. That wasn’t it at all. I don’t think my sex life is mom’s business, and I didn’t think she would be particularly entertained by the truth.

For most poly people, it is about much more than just sex. Having to hide being polyamorous is having to hide your true self, and hide some of your family.

If it had been about the sex, I could have made it a week without having JC around. But JC is much more than a sex partner – he’s my partner in life. He’s a major part of my emotional support system, and he depends on me too. We take care of each other.

We are family.

Family shouldn’t have to hide from family. Family should be able to make it officially legal, if they want. Here’s yet another example of a good citizen, neighbor, and parent who does not deserve to be disrespected by her own government. There are millions more.

She was worried first about my husband, and then about my children, but she didn’t leave immediately. Or threaten to take the kids. Or yell and scream. Or have a heart attack. She could tell that my kids were still happy, healthy and smart, and my husband was his usual stoic self but happy with his three girlfriends.

She continued to sip her tea and agreed that dinner with my husband, my boyfriend and my kids, the people who make up my family, would be fine.

Good for mother, daughter, and family! Whether you are LGBT, polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, you should be able to be yourself and not hide.
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