It is sometimes asked as "Is it wrong for me to have sex with...?"
The blank is filled with a personal relation, as opposed to a professional contact. A personal relation would be a cousin, stepbrother, sister-in-law, aunt, sibling, or someone else along those lines.
Here is the easiest way to determine if it is OK.
Ask yourself these three questions:
1) Are we both/all capable of consenting?
2) Do we both/all consent to this?
3) Is it compatible with any existing agreement with another or others that we each want to keep intact?
If the answer to all three questions is YES, then it is acceptable or OK. Some people might disapprove, but they don’t have to date or have sex with you or anyone else they don’t want to, and their opinion shouldn’t rule over your love life.
Unfortunately, in many places, there are still unjust laws discriminating against consenting adults for having sex, such as laws against gay sex or consanguineous sex or sex between certain steprelations. So while it is OK on the ethical sense, it might not be legal where you are, at least not yet. That's one of the reasons we are here to speak up for the rights of all adults. Nobody should be criminalized for sharing affection with other consenting adults.
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
My mom is beautiful, everyone like her, she may be the actress or something like...
ReplyDeleteWe live together and we have a good relationship,
it is ok to date my mom?
I'm afraid... i'm not adult enough...
I'm boy, 17 years.
Andrew.
Andrew, when you’re a legal adult, reconsider. If you still want to date her then, then you can try.
Delete2 factors to be considered.
DeleteFirst,you are still not an adult legally.
Second,she should be ready as well.
Andrew,even if you grow into a fine,handsome adult( legally), haven't you presumed that mom is willing,
DeleteI'm afraid that it would be a shame,
ReplyDeleteif someone finds out about it ... I do not want anyone thought that I'm sick.
And how can I find out, how does mom feel about this?
Thanks.
Andrew.
Andrew, you can email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message me on Wire at fullmarriageequality
DeleteIf you don’t want to do that, find a calm, peaceful time during which you can talk to your mother alone and tell her how you’re feeling.
I have been dating my mom since I was 19. I never had any other girlfriend. I'm strictly monogamous. My mom is serial monogamous. She started dating me after my dad died. First few dates were just normal dinner and movie dates. Then one night she invited me into her room. I helped her undress. She kissed me and pulled me closer. We made out and had sex.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, congrats to you! I’d like to communicate with you further in private. Please email me at fullmarriageequality at ProtonMail dot com
DeleteThat's wonderful.Better to keep it within the fanily.No fear of exploitation,betrayal,diseases and extortion.But why do you calk it dating?It's a straightforward case of incestuous live.
DeleteVery good test questions.
ReplyDeleteEveryone in most cases can easily answer them, but there are situations (mostly legal) that make the answer to the first question ("1) Are we both/all capable of consenting?") ambiguous or even contrary to the principles Full Marriage Equality.
Because everyone asks themselves 2 questions:
1. What does the term "capability" mean in relation to me and my potential (or existing) sexual partner? 2. Is the concept of "capability" legal, medical, or psychological?
In the first case, the answer may be simple: "my partner and I have reached the age of consent (if it is legally defined in the place where I live) or the age legally allowed for marriage."
But if both of them are teens/preteens who have not reached the age of consent, or one of them has reached the age of consent and the other has not yet, then the requirement of legal "capability" contradicts the principles of Full Marriage Equality. By the way, teens/preteens and even children often commit sexual acts with each other and spit on the concept of "age of consent". The age at which they begin to have sex with penetration is constantly decreasing in all countries. At the same time, if they are caught, then someone who has reached the age of consent will go to a correctional institution for minors or to prison, which will destroy their whole life.
2. If we accept that "capability" is a medical term, then what does it mean? Does it mean that the development of the genitals is sufficient for penetration sex? Mental development? That is, is it possible and ethical if the levels of normal mental development of the partners are different due to age or due to different rates of maturity? Or is sex acceptable berween two mentally retarded people or between a mentally retarded person and a "normal" person?
3. If we agree that "capability" is a psychological term, then what does it mean? Understanding that a person is engaged exactly in sex, and not just in a game or something else? That sex has consequences in the form of pregnancy, rejection by society, or persecution by law? That if the lovers are preteens/teens they will be publicly punished, separated, or sent "for treatment"?
..........................................................
I cannot answer all the questions I have raised, although I personally believe that any voluntary/nonviolent sexual relationship is acceptable in which BOTH partners are aware of what they are doing, enjoy it (and do not harm third parties), regardless of their age/age gap, physical or mental condition.
But I also understand that my position on this problem, like any other position, is vulnerable to criticism: for example, I may be accused that my concept opens the way to violence, including domestic violence, etc. To this, I can answer that my attitude towards sexual relations is, of course, imperfect and fraught with risks, but any other position on this problem is even worse, because it violates the spirit of Full Marriage Equality.
I am not naive and I know that my vision of a logical solution to the problem under discussion is unlikely to be accepted now even by supporters and allies of Full Marriage Equality, therefore, as a palliative solution, I suggest to reformulate Keith's 1st question as follows:
"1) Are we conscious of what we are doing/going to do, are we conscious of the consequences of what we are doing/going to do for ourselves and for others?"
Your comments are interesting and thought provoking, thank you
DeleteHere is a fresh confirmation of the complexity of consanguinamorous relationships in terms of their legality and the formal legal capability of the younger member of the couple.
DeleteI just have read a story on Reddit about the "father-daughter-stepmother" triangle:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/1m1yeix/long_post_but_i_needed_to_get_it_out_in_hopes_it/ .
It ended extremely tragically for all the participants.
This is an example of how a voluntary, conscious, sexually romantic relationship between a father and daughter went to waste because of the cowardly and stupid behavior of a father who wanted to "chase two birds with one stone." At the same time, he showed blatant carelessness and irresponsibility and also neglected one of the key principles of Full Marriage Equality - non-harming third parties.
(For obvious reasons, I am not specifically addressing the very delicate and controversial issue of daughter's age here, although, apparently, she has reached the age of consent).
This is somewhat reminiscent of the tragic and painful story of father (Steven) and daughter (Katie Rose) Pladl.
But everything could have turned out very differently ...