Facts:
1. There are people everywhere who have consanguineous sex, and there always have been.
2. There are polyamorous people everywhere, and always have been.
3. There are people everywhere who swing or have group sex, and there always have been.
Sometimes, people are in two or all three of these categories, and those who are might find each other.
We are bringing you another exclusive interview.. As this interview is being published, there are many people still spending
more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview
an inspiration? Or they can
see this for some possibilities.
People in consanguinamorous and polyamorous relationships are everywhere, though many polyamorists are closeted and consanguinamorists are even more likely to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.
The woman interviewed below should be free to legall
y marry all her spouses
, or simply to be together with her lovers without having to hide, yet they can’t. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally
prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.
Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say about the bond they share. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?
Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in similar relationships right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?
**WARNING: Mildly explicit descriptions of adolescent exploration and adult sex.**
*****
FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.
Jennifer: I'm Jennifer, from West Virginia, originally. I currently live in a major city in Ohio with my husband, his sisters, our girlfriend, and our four children. I'm 30 years old and have been in a consensual sexual relationship with my brother Chris, 32, and sister, Jessica, 34 since my early teens.
FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation? Are you bisexual, heterosexual, what? Are you polyamorous?
I am bisexual, as are my brother and sister. My husband is straight, my sis-in-law is bi, my brother-in-law is also straight. We are all polyamorous; we love our spouses dearly, but we do thoroughly enjoy making love to our other partners.
FME: To be clear, you are in a sexual relationship with your full-blood brother and sister?
Yes, I am in a fully sexual relationship with my full brother and sister.
FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles or sex discussed or practiced in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening? When and how did you realize your sexual orientation? Had you been with other women other than your sister?
My childhood could really only be described as normal; family life was normal. Alternative lifestyles or sex were not discussed nor practiced.
I first became aware of sex when I was twelve years old. I noticed cute boys in my classes at school and I would fantasize about seeing them naked. It wasn't long after that I found myself fantasizing about girls in my class as well. I've since been with many women, but my sister was my first.
FME: When and how did sexual affection become a part of the relationship between family members?
To tell this part of the story properly I should go back to the beginning. It all started with my brother-in-law, Grant, and the girl, Kristin, he was dating in high school. Each day, after school, they would spend a couple hours before her parents came home having sex. One day, they were caught by her younger sister, Ashley. I don't know all the details regarding how, but Ashley talked her way into joining in with them, so everything regarding sibling love began with Kristin and Ashley having sex together. At Kristin's suggestion and with her and Ashley's help, Grant got his sister Michelle involved in their group sex. Eventually, Kristin and Ashely's family moved away and their after-school sex came to an end, though Grant continued having sex with Michelle.
When Grant went to college, he started dating my sister, Jessica. In hopes to have a threesome with Jessica and his sister, he confessed to Jessica about being with his sister. Much to his relief, Jessica was turned on and intrigued by the possibility.
After having a few threesomes with Grant and Michelle, she decided that she wanted to try and seduce [our brother] Chris. She decided on the direct approach, and during her Christmas break from college, she made her move. Chris was, as one would expect, surprised to hear that Jessica wanted to have sex with him. He initially thought that she was just joking with him, until she undressed and placed his hands on her breasts.
It was at the moment they heard our parents come home, so they hurried out of the room, their chance dashed for the moment. On Christmas Eve, Jessica would sneak into his room and they had sex for the first time. This continued every time Jessica would come home on the weekends for the next six months.
One day, they were f---ing in Chris' room and they didn't hear me come home. As I went upstairs, I could hear moaning coming from his room, the door was open just a crack and when I peeked inside, I got the surprise of my life. I was shocked at the sight of Jessica riding Chris, but at the same time it was also the hottest thing I'd ever seen.
When I made my presence known by entering the room, they froze. They thought that they were busted and that I would tell our parents. Those fears were quickly put to rest as I began to undress...I was nervous but excited for what was to come. Jessica reached into her purse and pulled out a condom and put it on Chris as I was not yet on birth control.
FME: Can you describe your feelings during that? How about “the day after”? How did that go? How were you feeling?
During that first time, my thoughts and feelings were just raging teenage hormones. As for the day after, I would have thought initially that it would be awkward and I would have been filled with regret, but I wasn't, I was walking on air. The events of the previous day made me very happy. After, Chris and I would have sex every day after school; Jessica would join us on the weekends. For me, at least, it was purely driven by lust at the start, but as we continued, we fell in love. I knew that I wanted to have a child with Chris.
FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together? Do you, or have you had feelings like this for any other close family members whether they are genetic relatives or not?
Prior to that, I had never even considered having sex with my siblings. I didn't have a problem with it as seeing Jessica and Chris having sex was a major turn on. I have been with my brother-in-law, and all my sisters-in-law.
FME: How do you describe the sex now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky.
The sex now is as great and passionate as it has ever been. At first, it felt taboo and erotic-kinky due to the "forbidden" nature of it all. However, as we continued and fell in love it became a natural part of our relationship.
FME: Describe your relationship with your siblings now. Do you see each other as siblings, or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point?
I view it - for me at least- as though I have two husbands; my legal husband and my brother, as well as having a wife, my sister. We have been together for roughly 16 years. We see each other as siblings, spouses, lovers, soulmates and those roles are truly inseparable now.
FME: Do any of you or all of you together ever involve anyone else?
We do have some select friends that we do get together with and have orgies with, some of whom are involved with their own siblings or other family member, like a cousin, and others that are not. We have been fortunate that those who are not involved with incest are still very accepting and supportive, with the mindset that "you can't help who you fall in love with." Mostly, these are people that we have known for years, usually since our high school days. Sometimes, it is someone we pick up for a hook up; we usually do not tell these people about our relationship.
Sometimes it is one-on-one, other times it is a threesome or foursome. There is no set schedule as for who we are with at any given time. I don't get to see my sister or brother daily anymore, at least in person, since I live a couple hours away. There are times, however, when I simply need one of or both of my siblings in my bed or they need me in theirs, and we make a point to get together and make love. Our spouses don't view this as cheating on them since we are with our siblings, just as I do not view it as my husband cheating on me if he is making love to one of his sisters.
As for our orgies, it is mostly a free-for-all, grab whomever you want and do whatever you want. There are ground rules. We have a large bowl of condoms. People can use them if they wish or if the person they want to be with wants them to use one. We also use color coded bracelets. Green means that person is willing to do anything, pink means no anal. For the record, I always wear a green one. Everyone has always played by the rules and we all have a great time enjoying the pleasures of each other's bodies.
There are a few sibling couples and groups who attend our orgies. One of them is my friend Neely, and her brother John, and her sisters Marie and Amy. My youngest daughter is by her brother John. Their parents know and have joined in on occasion.
FME: Do you all literally sleep together, or what are the sleeping arrangements?
I mostly sleep with my husband and our girlfriend; sometimes one of my husband's sisters will join us.
FME: How did you find spouses who were supportive of this or wanted to participate? How did you introduce them to the fact that the siblings were also lovers?
Well, as previously stated, my sister's husband was already involved with his sister before she started dating him. My brother's wife had previous experience with her sister. My husband and I met in college and he had not been with his sisters yet, but had been fantasizing about them for some time.
FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationships? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?
Other than the people directly involved of course, only a few select friends know the full extent, and those are the same ones that attend our orgies. My parents do not know. We had to be careful at home when having sex. We had to make sure that we had enough time and the privacy required to make love or else we wouldn't at the time. Since we moved out of our parent's house, it has been easy. We simply don't do physical displays of affection in public; we reserve that for behind closed doors. My sister's oldest daughter knows as does my brother's oldest son. My brother-in-law's children with his sister are also aware.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been?
Having to hide our relationship from people we care about isn't always easy, especially with our parents, but we know that there are some people that we simply can't share that information with.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the others, and that you couldn’t truly consent?
Don't knock it till you've tried it. Being with my siblings has resulted in the most passionate sex I've ever had. Relationships like ours should be destigmatized and made legal. As for preying on others, I can't speak for other people in similar situations, but for me, I was never forced to do anything, I was fully aware of what I was doing. I don't regret it for a moment. If I had to do it all over again I would make the same decisions again, including having a child with my brother.
FME: If you could get legally married to a sibling or multiple siblings, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?
If it had been legal at the time, I have to admit I would have married my siblings, but it is not and I do not regret marrying my husband.
FME: You indicated that there are children from sibling parents. Are your spouses aware of the actual paternity?
As stated, my brother and I have a daughter together. My sister's husband has two children with his sister. My husband has one daughter with the oldest of his four sisters; the other three do plan on having at least one child by him at some point. Yes, our spouses are aware of the actual paternity. All our children born from a sibling relationship are perfectly health, happy, and normal.
FME: What do your children know about this?
My oldest daughter has a general knowledge of what sex is and she knows that "Mommy has a lot of it," but that is the extent of what she knows. My brother and I will be telling her soon that he is, in fact, her father.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a sibling?
If you love them and you think that they may truly feel the same, then tell them how you feel. It may be awkward, but it is worth it. Just be careful not to read into it things that aren't there.
FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?
Be supportive of their feelings and their love. Society shuns us enough for this. The last thing they need is family and friends that they care about turning their backs on them. They need our love and support, and maybe with enough support, relationships like this can be destigmatized, and hopefully one day become legal. It won't happen overnight, but maybe someday.
FME: Do you consider yourself consanguineous in orientation? Also, do you consider yourself polyamorous as an orientation, or could you be happy with monogamy to an unrelated person or monogamy with a sibling?
I suppose I do consider myself consanguineous as well as polyamorous, that said, I do believe I could be fulfilled in a non-familial relationship. I could be happy with monogamy to a non-relative or with a sibling.
FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex that you know of?
Yes, some of my best friends are siblings that are involved with each other, I previously mentioned my friend Neely, and her siblings John, Marie - twins - and Amy. All three have children by John, as do I.
My next-door neighbors have two teenager who mostly have sex together, and occasionally with their parents.
FME: Any plans for the future?
I may be having another child by my brother in the near future. My sister has been thinking about having her first child by our brother as well.
FME: What would you say to someone who'd say this isn't real?
I lived it. I know that it was, and is, real.
FME: Anything else to add?
To anyone who is in a relationship with a family member, be it a sibling or someone else, know that you are not alone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this type of relationship. Embrace your love for each other and love each other deeply.
*****
Fortunately, sibling sex between adults isn't criminalized in Ohio, but unfortunately, sex between an adult and a parent still is, and marriage rights are denied to lovers like this.
Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, and yet they wouldn't even be able to exercise their basic human right to marry as things are now. They love each other and are happy, yet they are denied fundamental rights.
Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.
If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.
Thank you, Jennifer, for doing this interview about your polyamorous, consanguinamorous marriage
! We wish you well in your relationships!
I’m happy for you. This is the kind of relationship that I hope to have with my brother and sister, but I have no idea how to go about it.
ReplyDeleteIn Ohio, adult siblings can "ride the carousel" with each other legally but mom with adult son or Father with adult daughter can not? That doesn't make sense? What are the politicians smoking over there in Ohio??
ReplyDelete