Monday, May 16, 2011

More Freedom to Marry

Someone used Yahoo Answers to ask, “Why gay marriage is okay while polygamy isn't?”

I reject the premise of the question. Polygamy is okay.

Also, that two people can legally marry, regardless of their genders, isn’t the same thing as whether or not one person (simultaneously) can marry two or more people, or three or more people can all marry each other. Both factors involve freedoms to marry, and all would be legal under full marriage equality.

Maybe what the person really meant was, “Why do some people think same-sex marriage between two people is okay, but polygamy isn’t” Or, “Why do some states and countries allow same-sex marriage between two people, but not polygamy?” The answer to that has to do with prejudices and how their legal systems work.

As one person answered…

Polygamy can be ok. It just depends on where you live in the world.

Another response was not so open…

because gay marriage is like straight marriage but they are different genders but polygamy is selfish and stupid in my opinion - its not real love if you love about 4 people.

I take it this person will never have more than one child, or a child simultaneous with having a significant other, since this person doesn’t believe it is possible to love more than one person?

An ally wrote…

I have no particular moral objection to polygamy, as long as no one is being pressured into it.

A bigot wrote…

It makes no sense. Gay marriage is just as morally wrong and incorrect as polygamy. If your going to make gay marriage legal, then open the door for all other immoral forms too.

No explanation as to why it is immoral to let people choose to marry each other. Typical.

Another person actually wrote…

Polygamy is very bad social policy and is equally illegal for everyone.

Monogamy isn't perfect, but it has the best track record, especially in free democratic countries.

How can someone write that with a straight face? Probably can’t. This person does support the same-sex freedom to marry, but throws poly people under the bus…

Gays have shown they are quite interested and capable of being married monogamously, as much as any straights.

Polygamists have a long history of child abuse, welfare fraud, etc.

Most of child abuse and welfare fraud is perpetrated by people who claim to be monogamists. I don’t blame monogamy. Others shouldn’t blame polygamy. The welfare fraud charge is ridiculous. Someone legally married to someone with an income is less likely to be given welfare. Deny them the freedom to marry, and they are more likely to be eligible for welfare.

And another person who is looking for the bus...

A gay marriage is based on the feeling of true love just like a straight marriage (at least it's supposed to be that way in both cases). Polygamy more seems to be the idea of owning partners, an idea I can't relate to love.

Polygamy doesn’t involve “ownership” unless someone is talking about role-play or a fetish or a kink. This person then, ironically, points out that some polygynous people throw LGBT people under the bus…

Still there are enough countries and religions allowing polygamy, funny enough very often the same that see homosexual love as immoral or perverted. Mostly it's men owning several women, which in my eyes is debasing females.

In those countries, the men “own” the women with or without polygyny. I’m all for gender equality. Polygamy is not antithetical to gender equality.
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  1. I am constantly amazed at people's ability to equate "popular" with "correct." Yes, many more people are straight than are gay. That doesn't make straight "correct" and gay "incorrect." Yes, many more people choose monogamy than polygamy or polyamory. That doesn't make monogamy "correct" and polygamy/polyamory "incorrect."

  2. Thanks, Macha. Right you are. I'm sorry some of your other comments were lost in the Google Blogger Crash of 2011.


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