A Polyamorous Consanguinamorous Marriage Denied Equal Rights

We are happy to be bring you another interview. As this interview is being published, there are many people still spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous and polyamorous relationships are everywhere, though many polyamorists are closeted and consanguinamorists are even more likely to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out if the closet or they’ll gave prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her spouses, or simply to be together as a triad or throuple without having to hide, yet they can’t. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say about the bond they share. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?

**WARNING: Mildly explicit descriptions of childhood exploration and adult sex.**


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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

954Girl: I work for a large, international bank. My dad is a senior corporate executive at a different company.  My mom was a stay-at-home mom but did volunteer work, which she continues to do. We live in South Florida but don’t want to say more than that. My brother works for the same bank as I do, but he lives in Australia with his wife.

My dad is in his mid-50s, white, in really good shape for his age, mom is Latina, in her late-40s, also in excellent shape and looks a lot younger than her age. I’m 24, my brother is 26. Both my brother and I identify as bi-racial.  

I’d say that we’re affluent. We aren’t rich but we are well off.  

We all have college degrees, my dad and brother have master’s degrees. I am planning to start a master’s program next year. The importance of education was drilled into my brother and me when we were growing up, so we both excelled in school.

We are all avid readers. My dad does some woodworking and is a really good tennis player. Mom and I love to cook, do yoga together. I like to run. My parents play golf and so I have begun to learn that, but I’m very bad and so they usually go on their own. They also scuba dive and so I’m going to get certified so we can all do that together.

FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?

My parents are legally married. I’ve never been married. We had an ad-hoc, informal union ceremony between the three of us, where we each expressed our love and commitment to one another, then had a short “honeymoon” in the Keys, but we haven’t done a formal ceremony since they invited me into their marriage. We all like the idea, we just aren’t sure how it would happen without exposing our relationship. We will also wait until a sense of normality returns after the pandemic before deciding on any ceremony. This is at the insistence of my parents.

I began my relationship with my dad, and then with both of them, under the cloud of this pandemic and so this current environment is all we know as spouses. My parents want to wait until things are back to normal before I formally commit to them. I’ve told them that nothing will change by then but I understand and respect their position. At least it gives us something to look forward to.

I live with my parents. I moved in with them last year for the short term to be more protected from COVID but now we see it as a permanent arrangement given our relationship.

FME: How would you describe your genders? How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation... are you lesbian, bisexual, what? Are you polyamorous or….?

My dad is straight. My mom and I each had previous same-sex experiences, but neither of us identified as bisexual. However, since we formed this union my mom and I have fallen in love and we consider ourselves ‘bisexual for each other’ meaning that we aren’t necessarily attracted to other women outside of each other.

We are polyamorous in the sense that the three of us are in love with each other, but not in the sense that we have an interest in taking any other lovers.

FME: You are in a sexual/romantic relationship with your biological parents?

Yes, I am in a sexual and romantic relationship with my biological mother and father. I began a sexual relationship with my dad last spring when we realized there was an attraction and we were both ready to act on it. That quickly grew to include romantic feelings and we began a full relationship.

We came out to my mom in the summer and she eventually gave her blessing for us to continue.  At that point, I took a role akin to my dad’s concubine in the formal sense, although my mom hates that I use that term to describe my relationship with my dad at that time because of the perceived negative connotations to it. Soon my mom began joining us in bed when we were together, and from that my mom and I developed romantic feelings for each other. Eventually, they asked me if I wanted to be a part of their marriage, to which I said yes.

FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening?

My brother and I had what we both consider to be very normal and happy childhoods. We knew we were well off but we were not spoiled in any way. I would say that we lived relatively modestly compared to our parents’ affluence. We were comfortable but we didn’t depend on money or things for our happiness. My brother and I were expected to do well in school, we participated in sports and activities, had lots of friends, so I’d say very typical and happy upbringing.  

My parents were openly affectionate with each other but just in normal ways, like hugs, kisses, the way they interacted together. They didn’t go nude in front of us, nor did they do anything sexual when we were around. Family nudism and what’s now called sex positivity weren’t practiced in our house.  However, it wasn’t hidden from us and we were never taught that nudity or sex was dirty or bad. We knew our parents had sex but didn’t really think anything of it, and they did it behind closed doors. I walked in on my parents having sex once and none of us freaked out. I just apologized and excused myself.

I don’t recall a specific moment that triggered my sexual awakening. Rather, I’d say, like with most kids, it was gradual. When I was nie and my brother was eleven, we began exploring each other’s body. It started as his idea and I went along with it. We’d get naked and then take turns touching each other’s genitals. I was fascinated by his penis and scrotum, and the way his penis got erect, and I liked the feeling of him touching my vagina and bottom. But whereas some kids grow out of this exploration phase, we continued doing it. And as time went on and we kept doing this, I began kissing his penis when it was my turn to explore him. I don’t know what spurred me to do that, but I remember having the desire to kiss it.  

At the same time that I was exploring with my brother I had my first true sexual experience. A girl friend and I would play a game whereby we would get naked and she would make me lay down on the floor with my legs open. Then she would lay on top of me and place her vagina on mine. I never had an orgasm through this but it felt very good, and it helped me to learn about physical and sexual pleasure.  I mention this because I think these experiences with her helped to guide me as I continued to explore with my brother.

I was thirteen the first time I performed oral sex on my brother. We were doing our usual exploration/playing and he asked me to put his penis in my mouth, and after some convincing I agreed.  Up to this point I had been kissing it whenever we explored together, first closed mouth kisses but then more opened mouth kisses, so some of his penis had gone into my mouth, but probably never more than the tip of the head. Once I got over the initial strangeness of the feeling of his penis in my mouth I think I actually began enjoying it. And I could tell how much pleasure it was giving him so I was happy to do it for him.

Around the same time he started going down on me. I asked him to and he wanted to learn how to do it so he agreed, and he’d practice on me and I’d tell him what felt good and what didn’t.

I asked my brother to take my virginity when I was 14. He was 16 and had already lost his. It hurt but he was gentle and went slowly. He was already aware that he was well above average in size and so he knew he had to take care with girls. I’ve heard from some of my friends how bad their first times were because they were so self-conscious or how the boy just pounded on them or how quickly the boy came, but my first time was amazing. I completely trusted my brother with my body, and he knew what to do and wanted to make it special for me. And really, as we were having sex that first time, I remember feeling his body on top of mine with my arms around him, feeling him thrusting into me, and thinking there was no one else I would have rather given my virginity to. After, he stayed with me for a while to make sure I was OK and didn’t have any regrets.

It was maybe a couple weeks before we did it again but it eventually became quite regular. We were two teenagers with our hormones going crazy, and we used each other as an outlet for that and as a way to learn about sex.  It was around this time that I began being turned on by the fact that I was having sex with my brother and we were committing incest. Throughout this time we each had boyfriends/girlfriends but we still had sex with each other. We never considered this cheating. 

Our mom caught us having sex once when I was 14 or 15. She walked in and saw us naked with my brother on top of me. From the position we were in and where she stood she was able to clearly see that we were having sex. She was shocked and upset, and my brother and I thought we were going to be in so much trouble, but she was just kind of stern with us and said we shouldn’t be doing that, but there was no punishment or further discussion about what she caught us doing. When my parents and I got together I admitted to them the extent of my sexual relationship with my brother. They figured that when my mom caught us it wasn’t the first time we had done that but they had no idea that we were having sex that regularly and that it went on for as long as it had. So they were quite surprised when I told them. And given that I was now having sex with them, I asked my mom why she was so upset about seeing my brother and me.  She said she wasn’t upset that we were committing incest but just the shock of being confronted in that way: catching us in the act and the fear of my own brother getting me pregnant.

After my brother took my virginity there wasn’t any really big shift between us since we had been playing together regularly for such a long time before then. But I do remember he gave me some space, I guess he felt that I might need it, but I was OK. But it did change things a little between us, at least in my mind. I had sex with my brother. I had my brother’s d--- inside me. My brother took my virginity.  But I wasn’t grossed out by that at all. On the contrary, I liked all those thoughts, just like I enjoyed the experience itself. It wasn’t long before we did it again, and from there it became a regular thing for us to do whenever one or both of us needed it.   

Things just naturally ended with my brother, there wasn’t anything that happened that made either of us want to end it. Once he left for college - and then I, two years later- obviously, the frequency of us having sex was cut down dramatically and only happened when we came home from school. We did it occasionally after college but with our jobs and other stuff we just found that we were less and less able to connect, so it just naturally ended.

FME: How did sexual affection become a part of the relationship with your parents?

My dad and I first had sex in April of 2020. 

There was some attraction between my dad and me when I was growing up. I used to hang out in my room naked at times and he’d occasionally see me. I realized then that I kind of liked him seeing me, and when we began our relationship last year he admitted that he liked seeing me naked, but neither of us made a real move. The most that happened was he came into my room for some reason and ended up giving me one handed hugs a few times where his hand would cup my butt and give me a light swat or two. But there was never anything more than that.

I was living my own place and I work mostly from home, and I was pretty much naked most of the time, because, well, I like it, I live alone, and this is south Florida so it's usually warm and I'm cheap so I don't use my AC much. So in mid-April I was at home working away at my desk and on a conference call with my headphones on, and I'm naked. Next thing I know, my dad is tapping me on the shoulder. I had forgotten that he was coming over to try to fix a drawer in my bathroom vanity. Apparently, he knocked but I didn't hear and he has a set of keys, for emergencies and stuff. So yeah, I'm butt naked and my dad is right there. And yes, he had seen me naked in my room at times but not like right next to me in plain view. I'm totally embarrassed. like mortified, but he just gives me a sign that he sees I'm working and will start on the repair and he goes into the bathroom. I'm sitting there thinking of how I can get off this call and grab something to put on but I can't step away. He comes out like five minutes later, I'm still on my call, and he shows me the broken piece and says he needs to get a new part.  I'm still right there butt naked, completely flustered that he's full on seeing me naked. But eventually he left and that was it. 

Later in the evening he texted me to tell me he ordered the part and will let me know when he gets it, and apologized for interrupting my work, but he also added "it was good to see you." That totally confused me but I left it alone but was kind of intrigued.  More texts back and forth over the next few days about him getting the part, but they also started including subtle innuendos and allusions about seeing me like that. I'll be honest, our texting kind of excited me.

He came back like a week later with the new part and I made a point of putting on a kimono robe before he arrived so I wouldn't be totally naked, but I left it kind of loosely tied so he could get a good look at my boobs, but tied enough that it didn't look like I was intentionally letting him see them. Yeah, I put a lot of thought into this ahead of time and adjusted and tied the thing like three times before he arrived.  And I noticed his eyes darting down there inconspicuously when he thought I wasn't looking.  At one point the knot came undone but instead of turning away to re-tie it I opened and then rewrapped the robe right in front of him. Yes, I'm so subtle. He didn't say anything but he didn't hide the fact that he was looking. He finished the repair and left, but that led to some texting - my thanking him for fixing it - which led to him asking me if I'm often naked at home. 

That led to sporadic texting over the next couple weeks, mostly innocent but with flirty undertones on both our parts at first but then slowly bolder and more direct, like one of us making an offhand comment about my body or him seeing me naked, which led to him admitting that he found it arousing to see me naked. More intermittent back and forth texting and I finally worked up the courage to ask him if he could install a new faucet, to which he said yes and he asked if I was going to be naked when he came over. Total butterflies, a little panic, but I said yes, if he wanted me to be naked.

He came over the next day and I was in my kimono robe again but as soon as he came in he kind of stopped and looked at me and I lost the robe. Oh my god, it was so intense to be naked in front of my dad like that. He came up close and asked if it was OK to touch my body, which I of course said yes.  His touching led to full-on groping and kissing my body, all the while asking me if it was OK and if I'm sure, etc.

I started touching him and asked him to get naked, too. The dam broken wide open, a torrent of water rushing through and we ended up having sex.  And holy Hell, there was some dirty talk going on. Like some daddy-daughter filthy sex talk that probably came from years of some pent up emotions being brought to the surface. The sex was amazing and easily some of the best I've ever had.

Afterwards, we stayed in bed cuddling and there was a lot of "are you OK" talk between us. We agreed that what happened was in fact OK and we both liked it and wanted to do it some more, if the other was OK, and either of us could put an end to it at any time with no hard feelings. After he left, we kind of gave each other some space and didn't text for a couple days.  

Then, like the third day, I received a text from him making sure I was OK. I said yeah, I was, and just had been busy with work, but I'd been thinking how nice it was to see him. He texted back and said he could swing by over the coming weekend to "check on the repair." More butterflies, nervousness, oh my god, are we going to do it again? Do I want that? Yes? Yes! So I told him that would work and we agreed for him to come on Sunday afternoon.

I wore my kimono robe again but this time I had a bra and a thong on beneath. Things went slower, more touching at first, and caressing rather than groping like we did the first time. The sex was still great but not as intense. There was the same kind of daddy-daughter sex talk but a bit more subdued - or at least a little less vulgar. And longer cuddling afterwards - and I felt more relaxed and comfortable cuddling with him than I did the first time. We agreed to continue things maybe on a weekly basis and see how things go. And he told me I can say no at any time and he wouldn't be hurt, and I told him the same went for him.

Dad and I were seeing each other at least on a weekly basis, sometimes a couple days a week. He'd come over to my condo and let himself in.

I love that my dad knows my body and knows how to touch it, what I like, and isn't afraid to take control. The one area that we had to work on was the kissing. I like slow, soft, sensual kisses whereas dad is more...fervent, shall we say, when it comes to kissing. I love when he kisses my body like that but when it comes to kissing on the lips I had to teach him to be a little softer and more sensual. But we got through that easily and quickly.

My dad is on the bigger end of the guys I've been with.

We were doing our post-coital cuddling and talking, and he asked if I wanted to see a pic of my mom and he showed me a pic of her naked and spread eagled on their bed. There was something about seeing my mom's nude body like that that got me instantly aroused. He [touched me] to orgasm while I looked at those pics. Out of that and subsequent conversations, it became clear that while he loved being with me alone, his ultimate wish was for us all to be together, which at the time I thought was ludicrous and would never happen.

I don’t think I was necessarily attracted to my mom when I was looking at her pictures. I’ve always thought my mom is beautiful, and I was surprised at how hot her body looked, but at that time I think the eroticism was from the thought of doing things with my mom as my dad [touched] me.  

The first time I was with my mom sexually happened maybe a month or so after my dad and I came out to her. The three of us were home on a Sunday afternoon not doing anything. She suggested that we all watch a movie up in their bedroom, so we went up stairs and all sat on the bed. She had me sit in the middle. At one point in the movie, she began rubbing my leg and asked me if that was ok for her to do, and I said of course. None of us was really into the movie so she paused it and began caressing me, then asked me if she could kiss me, to which I said yes. She took the lead and began taking off my clothes as we kissed. She got me naked and had me lay in my dad’s lap and she kissed me some more and made her way down my body. As she did that I began with my dad. After mom brought me to climax, soon we were all having sex with each other. Afterwards, we talked about what we just did, they wanted to make sure I was OK, and I assured them that I enjoyed it.  

I didn’t know this at the time, but my dad and mom had been talking about her joining us, and he just waited for her to be comfortable enough to initiate something. I had no idea it was being discussed between them. However, when she suggested that we all watch a movie in their bedroom I wondered if something might happen in some way. I didn’t know if she’d just want to watch my dad and me, or if she would be a part of it somehow.  

The day after the threesome with my mom and dad was fine, no awkwardness. However, I did sense a closeness between my mom and me developing, like she was becoming more than just my mom. After that time, my mom began joining my dad and me, slowly at first but it became more regular to the point that she was with us more often than she wasn’t. My mom and I continued to play together during those times but the central focus was really my dad. To that end, my dad actually made the request that my mom and I spend time alone, just the two of us, meaning sex, so that we could further develop that connection and bond. My dad really wanted this to be a poly relationship among the three of us, not just having my mom and me as his lovers. So we started being together outside of our times with my dad, and those were really nice. We could go slower, explore each other, really make it romantic between us. And out of that, true romantic feelings developed.

FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable?

Obviously, when my dad and I began having sex and I learned that he ultimately wanted my mom involved, I thought it would never, ever happen. And even once we came out to her I still didn’t think it was possible. But once my dad and I were able to be open around her and I saw that she was fine with it- and even supported it- the idea didn’t seem so crazy, but I didn’t believe it would happen. And once we were having regular threesomes I thought that was as far as it would go. I never imagined they would invite me into their marriage.

Besides my brother and my parents I have not had sex with any other family member - close or distant - nor have I ever had any attraction to other relatives in any way.

FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. 

For me, having sex with each of my family members has always been a blend of erotic and natural - never taboo because, to me, that means enjoyment based on breaking a rule, and I think the rules forbidding incest are arbitrary and outdated.  

When my brother and I began doing sexual stuff - not just the semi-innocent exploring- I knew that I liked it partially because of the incest factor. Sure, it felt really good, but I liked knowing that it was my brother. I know my brother felt the same way about it- he liked f---ing his sister- but not the same level. 

When my dad and I began having sex it was the same thing. It felt wonderful because he was - and is - a terrific lover, and because it was my father, the man that helped to create the body he was now f---ing.  And I would bring that up during sex. Instead of saying “I love how your c--- feels inside me” I’d say “I love how my father’s c--- feels inside me.” And I’d say things to him like “F--- your daughter, Daddy,” And I saw that he responded positively to that so I kept it up. However, now that he’s my spouse as well as my dad, I’ve tamed it way down - at least the most obscene parts - because, while I do still think of him as my father, even during sex, I see us more as more as spouses who have the joy of also being father and daughter.

I accept, though, that I have an incest kink and I will probably always be aroused to a certain degree by the fact that I’m having sex with my parents, even though I continue to see them more and more as my spouses. And they have accepted that part of me, too, and they are fine with my naughty talk during sex at times. My mom has even done her own naughty incest talk during sex when she’s in a particularly kinky mood.

But even from the first time my dad and I were together there was something that felt natural about it.  It seemed like on some level we already instinctively knew each other’s body and we fit well together.  There was a natural feeling to being with my brother as well, but it’s much more present with my dad and mom. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve known them my whole life and so I’m just more comfortable with them, or if there is some underlying biological or psychological factor at play that makes it feel so natural. Like how they say that women date and marry men who have the same characteristics of their dads, and men hold their moms as the standard when looking for wives, maybe if they can get past the archaic taboo mindset that society drills into us, they’ll find that there is a natural sexual compatibility with their parents. It’s certainly what I’ve found.

FME: Describe your relationship now. Is this a marriage, a union, girlfriends and boyfriend, what? Are you more like spouses or family-with-benefits or something else? Do you see each other as father, mother, daughter or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point?

My parents are my de facto spouses now. I’d say for now it’s something in between a union and a marriage, with the hope that when things return to a level of normality we’ll do some kind of commitment ceremony, most likely just among ourselves, to solidify the marriage. Our roles as parents and daughter have blended into our new roles as poly spouses rather than replacing one with the other.  So they are very much inseparable at this point. Throughout this interview I've been referring to my parents as my mom and dad. This is to avoid confusion for your readers. Normally I refer to them as my spouses, wife, or husband.

FME: Do any of you or all of you together ever involve anyone else? 

No, we are polyfidelitous among the three of us. We have no desire to have outside relationships or sexual experiences. And when I was having sex with my brother, we never included anyone else and none of our friends or any of our boyfriends/girlfriends knew about it.

FME: Do you get together in pairs or is it usually a threesome?

We do activities in pairs and solo, as well as all together, and it just depends on what the activity is.  However, no one is ever excluded as a rule. We each make time for ourselves because that’s important in any relationship. With the sex, it’s very organic and depends on the moment. There really is no intended pairing with anyone being excluded. To the contrary, actually, in that we prefer to have each spouse join in sex, so threesomes are the standard. But there are times when one person may not be around when the other two are in the mood, and that’s fine. So I have been alone with each of my spouses, and they have been alone without me. There have also been times when the three of us are together but one of us only watches or else just participates a little because for some reason they weren’t really in the mood. I will say that my dad does a really good job of giving equal affection and time to my mom and me during sex and other times.  

FME: Do you all sleep together, or what are the sleeping arrangements?

Yes, we all sleep in the master bedroom in the same bed. And our positions in bed can vary but I’d say usually my dad or I end up in the middle. I sleep naked, but they sleep in their underwear.

FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?

No, no one knows. We are waiting for the one year anniversary of our poly marriage before we come out to my brother.  

When I’m out in public with one or both of my spouses we take care when it comes to any displays of affection. When things first began we didn’t really do any PDA because we were so nervous about either running into someone we knew or just giving ourselves away, like somehow people would just know that we’re related.  I don’t want to say we were paranoid but maybe we were to a degree. We’ve since lightened up and we do show affection but nothing lewd or outrageous. We’ve also become adept at being aware of our surroundings and who’s around us.  Luckily, though, we live in a major metropolitan area so as long as we’re careful we think there is little risk, but we stay vigilant.

And the nice thing about where we live is that the sight of an older man with a younger woman, or two women together, isn’t rare by any stretch, so people typically don’t bat an eye, or at least don’t pay much attention. We do get some looks when we’re all out together but again, we’re careful about what we say and do. That said, when we go down to the Keys we’ve found that we can be very open with affection because the attitudes down there are very laid back and open. As long as we don’t advertise that I’m their daughter, people probably think we’re just in some kind of open relationship. 

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? 

There have been challenges for sure. I still call them mom and dad, but if we’re out in public, I have to be careful about that so that I no one hears me call them that and then the next moment sees us kiss each other, for example.  So when we’re out in public I do either call them by their names or usually like “sweetie” or “babe.” And again, if people here me call both of them sweetie or babe, that can raise some eyebrows but not suspicion of any sort.

FME: Do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers? What about polyamorous relationships? Would you recommend this life to others?

Like I said earlier, for us it just feels so natural to be together, both romantically and sexually. That love and trust was already there, and there was no taboo mindset or “ick” factor that we had to get over.  I honestly think that family members make the most compatible lovers.

The polyamorous arrangement between the three of us is wonderful but it takes work and a lot of communication, especially in the beginning. There were some bumps that came up due to lack of communication but once we talked them through we were able to resolve them very easily.

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?

They can think whatever they want. We don’t give them a second thought. But I will say that it’s a shame that there are people who feel they’re in a position to morally judge others, and that’s why relationships like ours that are based on love have to be hidden away.

FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?

Absolutely we would.  

FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member?

I honestly don’t know.  Each situation is so different based on so many factors that I generally don’t feel comfortable with giving blanket advice. And there is a lot of bad advice out there from people who are fakes pretending to be in incestuous relationships, so be careful when asking for, or following, any advice. 

But I guess I’ll say go very slowly and cautiously. Tiny moves, then wait for the person to reciprocate- if they do at all.  Don’t ever try to coerce or push them into something. And no, don’t “accidentally” send us d--- pics or find a way to make us see you jerking off.  That will just gross us out and push us away. Women are not visually stimulated like men are. And keep in mind that stories where a mom/daughter/sister catch a son/dad/brother jacking it and then are totally turned on are most likely fake, so don’t try to do that if you really care about the family member and genuinely want to develop an incestuous relationship. We need to feel safe in order to open up to the idea.  

FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other? 

Give them privacy, don’t assume anything. It’s none of your business. Do not ask, do not pry, don’t try to sneak around and find evidence. Generally don’t try to insert yourself into what may or may not be going on. You have to realize the vulnerability people in incestuous relationships have legally, socially, etc. The last thing we want is to be outed or found out.

FME: Do you consider yourself consanguinamorous in orientation, or could you be fulfilled in a relationship with someone who isn’t a close relative? Do you consider yourself polyamorous in orientation?

I am consanguinamorous, no doubt about it. But it’s not like I want to f--- all my relatives. And now that I’m part of my parents’ marriage I probably wouldn’t be open to being with my brother again because I would consider it almost cheating on my dad.  

This relationship I’m in now is the most fulfilling I’ve ever had, like no other relationship even came close to this. When I began a relationship with both my parents it was agreed that it would be finite and at some point I’d start dating again once it was safe. But that has now changed and we are seeing this as something long term and hopefully permanent, which I’m happy about, because I don’t really think I could find something that satisfies me so much as this.

FME: Anything else to add?

I’d like to say something that people may not know, which is that if they knew us and knew about our relationship, I think they would be surprised at just how normal and ordinary our relationship is. It’s not kinky threesomes all day, every day. Not even close. Yes, there is a good amount of sex but outside of that we’re completely ordinary in how we go about our lives.

Also, a big concern I have is the challenges I might have once a level of normality begins again.  Specifically, I mean how I’ll be able to continue to hide this from my friends.  I’ve used the excuse of the pandemic for why I moved in here, which was actually true, and why I’m still here even though it’s relatively safe for me to return to my condo.  Luckily, I rented out my condo for a year but that term will come up in June or July, so how do I tell my friends that no, I’m going to continue to live with my parents?  And I’ve been able to use the pandemic as an excuse for why I’m not dating but some have already asked me how I deal with not dating or having a boyfriend or having sex. Once things are back to normal come summer or fall, what do I continue to use as my excuse?  Will I need to date guys just to have cover?  I don’t want that for me, and it wouldn’t be fair to the guys, and I definitely think it could cause some strains for my spouses and they might see it as proof that this relationship isn’t sustainable, which I would hate.  This pandemic has really been a sort of blessing for us in that it allowed this relationship to develop and flourish, and once it’s over I worry that there will be pressures that we haven’t had to face, which will present some real challenges for us.

*****

Clearly, these lovers were consenting adults who weren't hurting anyone, and yet they wouldn't even be able to exercise their basic human right to marry as things are now. They love each other and are happy, yet they are denied fundamental rights. They can't even be open about their love without risking prosecution!

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or see here.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you, 954Girl, for doing this interview about your intergenerational, polyamorous, consanguinamorous marriage! We wish you well in your relationship!

PLEASE NOTE: If you want to correspond with her, this is her Reddit account. She welcomes serious contact. "I'm willing to answer questions if they're respectful in nature. I'd like to do what I can to change public perception about incestuous relationships."