Tuesday, September 27, 2022

National Sons Day

In the US, Wednesday, September 28 is National Sons Day.

Celebrate sons. All sons, regardless of sexual orientation or relationships. 

Whether they are cis, trans, fluid, or whatever their identity, if they are sons, today is their day.

Are you a son?

Do you have a son?

Are you celebrating?

Do tell in the comments below.
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Monday, September 26, 2022

France Must Move Forward

The laws and people of France must move forward, not backward, when it comes to the rights of all adults to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage as they mutually agree.

This means consanguinamory must remain decriminalized. Furthermore, consanguinamorists should be free to marry.

Liberty demands this.

Equality demands this.

Fraternity demands this. (HELLO! What could be more fraternal than consanguinamory???)

Let's check in on what is going on in France right now, with this report at from Emma Morgan...

A new report aimed at improving the French state’s response to childhood and incestual sexual abuse does not include plans to ban incest in all its forms in France.

In France, there is no law in particular against two adults (those aged 18 and over) engaging in a consensual incestuous relationship or having children.

However, it is illegal when anyone under the age of 18 is involved, under a law which came into force in April 2021.

Adults should be free to have their relationships. Consenting adults having their freedom is an entirely different think that child abuse. The two should never be conflated!

In January this year, the French government announced that it intended to criminalise all incestuous relationships, whether those involved were children or adults.

That would be a a terrible injustice. Stick to going after child abusers, not people who are loving each other.

The state Commission indépendante sur l’inceste et les violences sexuelles faites aux enfants (Ciivise) has now collected 16,414 testimonies from victims of sexual violence over a year, and outlined five areas of improvement for authorities. 

Again, abuse and affection are two different things. How about collecting testimonies of love, joy, pleasure from consanguinamory? Abuse is a horror. Love is wonderful.

The resulting final report does not contain a recommendation to ban all forms of incest, but instead outlines plans to remove parental authority from parents who are convicted of having committed incestuous sexual violence on their child.

Again, two different things.

“[A sexual relationship] between a parent and a child always involves a form of control even when the child has reached adulthood, which is why incest is a specific act that requires specific legislation."

Oh really? When a 30 year-old man who is doing well in life meets a 55 year-old woman and they find each other irresistibly attractive, and they later realize he resulted from an egg donation by her, exactly who is exerting the control???

Let's be clear. Abuse, especially of children is a horror and resources should be directed at stopping it. Love and play between consenting adults is an entirely different thing. It's not a horror. It is delightful.

It is certain that right now, as you are reading this, there are close relatives in France who are making love. Ordinary French people. Extraordinary French people. Accomplished French people. Admired French people. Consanguinamorous people are everywhere, and always have been. Do not spit on their self-determination when it comes to their relationships.

They should be free to live their lives quietly, or come out of the closet, and to marry if they want, without being criminalized, bullied, harassed, or discriminated against.

We support love. Don't you?
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Sunday, September 25, 2022

National Daughters Day

In the US, Sunday, September 25 is National Daughters Day.

Celebrate daughters. All daughters, regardless of sexual orientation or relationships. 

Whether they are cis, trans, fluid, or whatever their identity, if they are daughters, today is their day.

Are you a daughter?

Do you have a daughter?

Are you celebrating?

Do tell in the comments below.

EDIT: To the daughter who submitted a comment here earlier today (Monday) or late yesterday, you and/or your father (and anyone else reading this for that matter) are welcome to contact me.
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Friday, September 23, 2022

Bisexual Visibility Day

Friday, September 23 is Bisexual Visibility Day

To all bisexuals, especially our friends and readers, we see you. 

You are valid. 

You should have your rights and freedoms. 

You deserve representation. 

You should not be pressured to be closeted or to hide.

We celebrate our bisexual family, friends, and neighbors!
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Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Pledge For Candidates Seeking Elected Office

In November, some US states will elect their Governor and state legislators. In addition, all of the House of Representatives will be up for election and a third of the Senate.

We should insist political candidates take this pledge:

I, _________, hereby affirm I do and will support the rights of all adults to marriage, domestic partnership, civil union, cohabitation, and personal consortium, and any of those without the others, and that these rights shall not be abridged nor denied by the United States or any state on account of sex, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, ancestry, consanguinity, affinity, or number of participants; that all should live without discrimination and pursue their consensual relationships with each other regardless of gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities.

Feel free to adapt this to your country, territory, or province.
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Saturday, September 17, 2022

Successful GSA Relationships

There is a split in the Genetic Sexual Attraction community, as I have noted before. I checked out a certain other site's posting with the same title as this entry. Below, I analyze what was written.
We often get this question- Are there any successful GSA relationships?
To answer the question... YES!

Are people in such relationships willing to do interviews that reveal their identities? Almost never.
Or the media will inquire about speaking with GSA couples living in the shadows of society afraid to announce they are actually reunited family members living as lovers.

I don't think many of those couples (or triads) are likely to keep in friendly contact with these negative naysayers. I know some who don't, and they ceased contact after they took over an established forum where people had long been contributing.
The more I work with the GSA community the more I hear about heartbreak and pain, because most often these relationships do not work.
Because that is that is who you attract! You take a negative attitude towards GSA and you offer sex-negative counseling for people who are having problems. What happy lovers are going to bother to come to you, especially if they have to pay money (leaving an clear, easily obtainable trail of evidence some ridiculous prosecutor could use) just to use your forum?

Most romantic/sexual relationships do not "work" if you mean by that "lasting for a lifetime and that lifetime not ending in the murder of one by the other." Most relationships break up, or most of us would still be in our first relationships. But there ARE lasting, happy, loving and very passionate relationships initiated through GSA.

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Thursday, September 15, 2022

"Can I Marry My Own Son?"

Asked and answered on Quora:

Yes, you can marry your son. IF either of the following are true…

1) You’re not listed on his birth certificate and your location uses birth certificates to determine eligibility for marriage, and you’re not his legally adoptive mother or father.

2) You don’t care about having your marriage registered with the government.

Unfortunately, full marriage equality doesn’t yet exist in laws. So, if you were able to the do the first option, it would only “work” so long as your true genetic relation wasn’t known to authorities. In many places, including 48 US states, you couldn’t even do option 2 (a private ceremony without a state marriage license) without risking criminal prosecution. Countless people have done this anyway, and few have been outed and prosecuted.

I advocate full marriage equality, including your freedom to marry.
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Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Support For Full Marriage Equality

This is so good to see. 

More people in elected office and running for office should publicly endorse full marriage equality.

An adult should be free to marry any and all consenting adults.

It’s that simple.

That should be the law in every nation.

Thank, you, Representative Val Demings.

See the tweet here. Interact with with replies at your own risk.
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Friday, September 9, 2022

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #9

“They’re abusive.” Interracial, (adult) intergenerational, same-gender, polyamorous, and consanguinamorous relationships are not inherently abusive. It is the abusive relationships in general that are more likely to make news, or come to the attention of therapists or law enforcement. There are many people in "forbidden" relationships that are lasting, happy, healthy relationships.

Abusive people are the cause of abuse, not a relationship or marriage. There are many same-age, same-race, heterosexual, monogamous, nonconsanguineous relationships and marriages in which someone is abused. We have several examples showing that outlawing consensual behavior correlates to an increase in problems as people try to avoid law enforcement and other authorities. Marriage equality will most certainly reduce abuse, as abuse victims can go to the authorities with much less fear. So the solution isn’t the status quo, it is in bringing the relationships out of the shadows, allowing them to be protected and made official, and prosecuting abusers. Abuse victims will be much more forthcoming.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality:

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #8 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10
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Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Dear Abby Gets a Letter About Son Staring at Mom

CAN'T UNSEE THIS wrote to Dear Abby... 

I have caught my boyfriend looking at his mom's rear end more than once.

Most men attracted to women, even ones who agree to monogamy, will look frequently at other women. Some of those men are better at hiding it than others, but most will look.

Many men also experience what we call the Westermarck Effect when it comes to their own mother, so they won't look at her "that way." But not all men raised by their genetic mother will develop that Effect when it comes to her, and if she didn't raise him, at least from about age seven into puberty, there was no chance for the Effect to take hold.

The bottom line, no pun intended, is what, if anything, he does beyond staring, and if that is OK by the letter writer. If he just looks, how does that in any way hurt the letter writer?

She sometimes walks around the house in tight-fitting booty shorts that are so short you can see part of her butt. Sometimes he actually stares, which I find extremely disturbing.

It's possible, if he does it only when she's wearing something revealing, that he's not attracted to her, but is simply staring because of the fact that the clothing is revealing.

I'm not sure what to do. I have even thought about breaking up with him. 

If his behavior isn't compatible with what you want, then break up with him. It won't be good for anyone if there is negativity between the three of you.

Dear Abby replied...

Have you talked with your boyfriend about your observation? If you haven't, you should.

If the staring is unacceptable, there's no point in talking with him. It's what he chooses to do. If the staring is acceptable, but if the letter writer wants to try to see if he wants to do more than stare, she can try. He likely wouldn't tell if he would like to do more, unless he has any reason to believe the letter writer wouldn't freak out. But we know she would, since she finds the staring "extremely disturbing." This means she should either end the relationship or examine why she finds it extremely disturbing.

If you are seriously worried that he's lusting after his mother, you should absolutely end the romance.

OK, but far more men are lusting after their mother than will admit it to a girlfriend. Some have actually shared sex with their mother. The letter writer could end up with such a man and never know it. For all she knows, she's already been with such a man and thought it was a great relationship.

Each individual must decide for themselves what is acceptable in a relationship and what they want. The more requirements of, or restrictions on, a partner, then the smaller the pool of potential partners. I'm not saying that's good or bad. It's simply the reality. There probably isn't a situation anywhere in which two partners know absolutely everything about each other and all their thoughts. Prejudices about consanguinamory ruin good things. If the relationship is otherwise great, she might want to see if she can learn to accept that this man stares at his mother's butt when his mother is showing it off.

Unfortunately, the comments are full of bigotry.
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Saturday, September 3, 2022

Do These Relationships Work?

A search phrase that once brought someone here on which I want to focus is…
"do incest relationships work"

To answer that, one must describe what means for a relationship to "work."

For some people, a relationship only "works" if it is heterosexual and always monogamous, involves religious and civilly affirmed marriage, produces (or at least raises) children, and lasts until one of the spouses dies.

For me, a relationship "works" if you are, as a whole and excluding artificial negatives like prosecution and discrimination, better off as a result of having been in the relationship. What makes you "better off" is up to you. It could be strictly that you enjoyed this person's company, but it could also be that you had children together, or helped each other grow as people, or made new friends through the other person, or helped each other's careers, or... well, any number of things. A relationship doesn't have to last until death to leave you better off.

A sure sign a relationship isn't working is if one of you is abusing the other, or you're abusing each other.

Over the years, I've been fortunate enough to talk with countless people who've been involved in consanguinamory. A few of them have even been generous enough to be interviewed. For most of the people I've talked with, the relationships have worked. If the consanguinamory is in the past, they have fond memories of the great times that were shared and the emotional growth they had as a result, even the sexual confidence they developed. For many, the relationship continues and provides times of unmatched bliss and intense intimacy, even shared parenting that they have found fulfilling.

So yes, they can and do work.

And, by the way, some of them are heterosexual, always monogamous, produce and raise great people, and last until death, and it is an injustice that they are still discriminated against under the law whether it not they check off any of those boxes.
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