A Note From a Therapist

This was a comment left on the blog I wanted to highlight.

I am a psychotherapist who specializes in working with clients who struggle with "taboo" sexualized thoughts and behaviors. I'm currently working on research dealing with consensual familial intimate relationships. I offer online therapy as well as in-person and I accept most major insurance. I'm licensed in Georgia and Maryland. 

Keya Johnson, MSW, LCSW, CCTP, CSOTP 

therapist.keya@gmail.com

I communicated privately with this person and they do not discourage adults who are happily enjoying sexual relationships with other adults and everything along those lines stays private with them.

So please consider helping with the research, and if you need a therapist who won't automatically dismiss your relationships or desires, this may be someone for you.

Freedom to Marry Doesn't Always Mean Marriage Equality

[I'm bumping up this entry because Maryland finally has the limited same-gender freedom to marry and I see many reports about how it is "marriage equality." What you see below was originally posted on February 13, 2011. Again, Maryland now has the limited same-gender freedom to marry as of TODAY!]

Maryland is one of the US states currently debating the implementation of the freedom to same-sex marriage. Some people refer to this as marriage equality, as seen in this blog...

So, the Maryland Senate is discussing a bill for marriage equality.

Or here at this Patch article, "Councilman Testifies for Marriage Equality"...

"Right now, because marriage equality is already in effect just down the road in the District of Columbia, countless dollars are being diverted away from Maryland, to Washington D.C.'s hotels, restaurants, ballrooms, flourists [stet], caterers, tailors -- not to mention all the attorneys, accountants, financial planners, and others who provide services to couples after they are married. Right now, many of our businesses are losing a critical sector of clientele, and in the process, we are not preventing anyone who wants to get married from doing so. So many of our businesses are missing out on a tremendous opportunity, because of a legal roadblock that - years from now - will seem like an antiquated notion."

And believe it or not, you can also see an example of this at RationalSkepticism.org...

It looks like Maryland is going to be the next state to offer full marriage equality for its citizens.

I disagree with this phrasing. Full marriage equality would mean that all marriages are legal and recognized; that any adult can marry any consenting adult(s). It's not equality if it is only "equality for some." It will be great if Maryland will move towards full marriage equality by adding another freedom to marry; the same-sex freedom to marry. But I do make the distinction between a freedom to marry, such as the right to same-sex marriage or the right to consanguineous marriage, and when we will have all freedoms to marry; full marriage equality. Let's keep the momentum going!

And Now for Some Good News: Progress

There have been great advancements in the US and neighboring Mexico for the limited same-gender freedom to marry! This brings us closer and closer to full marriage equality.

In last month's US election, the people of three US states voted FOR this freedom to marry, and the results are taking effect! Check out this Associated Press article at mynorthwest.com...

Two by two, dozens of same-sex couples obtained their marriage licenses in Washington state early Thursday, just hours after Gov. Chris Gregoire signed a voter-approved law legalizing gay marriage.

King County, the state's biggest county, opened the doors to its auditor's office in Seattle just after midnight PST to start distributing marriage licenses. But hundreds of people had lined up hours earlier, snaking around the downtown Seattle building on a chilly December night. By 10 a.m., 364 licenses had been issued and the line was gone.

When are the weddings?

Because the state has a three-day waiting period, the earliest that weddings can take place is Sunday. 

Yay!

"This is a very important and historic day in the great state of Washington," Gregoire said before signing the measure that officially certified the election results. "For many years now we've said one more step, one more step. And this is our last step for marriage equality in the state of Washington."

Eh... not quite. It is a great day for some same-gender couples. But there are still some same-gender couples who can't marry, and polycules of any gender or sexual orientation formations can't marry. It's a great day for freedom, but it isn't marriage equality because equality just for some is not equality.

Last month, Washington, Maine and Maryland became the first states to pass same-sex marriage by popular vote. They joined six other states _ New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont _ and the District of Columbia that had already enacted laws or issued court rulings permitting same-sex marriage.

More to come!

Good News in the US

I almost couldn't say it better than this from the Gay Marriage USA Facebook page:

Tonight was truly AWESOME! (1) The first president to support marriage equality, Barack Obama, was re-elected (2) We won marriage equality in Maine, Maryland and Washington (3) Minnesota rejected a proposed ban on same-sex marriage and (4) Tammy Baldwin became the first openly gay/lesbian person to win a US Senate position! We are moving FORWARD indeed.

I would only qualify that the limited same-gender freedom to marry, which is  what President Obama has publicly supported, is what won in most of the votes, although defeating the Minnesota constitutional amendment was also potentially good for poly people. It isn't really marriage equality unless every adult is free to marry any consenting adults (and have protections against discrimination) because equality "just for some" is not equality. There will be more freedom to marry in Maine, Maryland, and  Washington, but not full marriage equality.

It's definitely a victory and lots of progress! Congratulations to monogamist nonconsanguineous LBGT people! And congratulations to all Americans for progress!

US Can Advance Freedom to Marry on Tuesday

Tuesday is Election Day here in the US. Not only are we voting on the President, but every seat of our House of Representatives will be subject to election, as well as about a third of our Senate. Some states will have other important office and ballot measures. Of special interest to this blog is that the limited same-gender freedom to marry can advance with votes in four states.

It is important that people vote...

"Yes" on Question 1 in Maine

"For" Question 6 in Maryland

"No" on "Recognition of marriage solely between one man and one woman" in Minnesota

"Approve" Referendum 74 in Washington.

Not only will this help some same-gender couples living in those states, but it will sent an important message that we are moving towards nationwide full marriage equality sooner rather than later. None of these votes will provide full marriage equality, as there will still be many adults denied marriage rights in those states, still not allowed to marry the persons they love, but it is a step in the right direction.

The same can be said for President Obama, who has finally endorsed the limited same-gender freedom to marry. His opponent has been been regressive on this issue. We don't want to go back, we want to go FORWARD!

So if you are eligible, be sure to vote in those races, and vote for candidates for other offices who are friendliest to relationship rights for all adults.

Let's send a message that bigotry is dying out!

Americans Voting on Marriage

In the US, four states will have votes on the limited same-gender freedom to marry on November 6. If you are eligible and a resident of Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, or Washington, make sure you are registered to vote (especially if you've moved since the last time you voted) and make sure you do vote. None of these votes are about full marriage equality, but more freedom to marry is better than less.

Also, make sure you support candidates who are more friendly to relationship rights for all consenting adults.

The image comes from this Facebook page. Use that page to stay informed and updated.

I haven't been able to update here as much as I would have liked over the last few days, but I'm still here.

Full Marriage Equality Briefly Considered in Maryland

According to this article about a bill for the same-sex freedom to marry…

Del. Neil Parrott, R-Washington, offered a defeated amendment to allow polygamy and later withdrew one to allow incestuous marriage.

So it is back to a piecemeal approach to marriage. Looks like Maryland will be getting increased freedom to marry, but not full marriage equality, yet. It will be nice when some same-sex couples can marry in Maryland. It will be even better when an adult can marry any consenting adults.

US Election

If I'm following the results right, Hawaii, Maryland, and California all elected Governors who support giving same-sex couples the freedom to marry. That can make a positive difference in each of those states, and with California, it can make a positive difference in the current federal case that could result in the nationwide freedom to marry for same-sex couples. Elsewhere, some of the antigay candidates for Senate (Delaware comes to mind) and Governor (New York) lost. Overall, the House of Representatives will probably be much less friendly to marriage equality, and the Senate slightly less friendly than it is now, but that can be changed two years from now. Or, President Obama or a court could act before then. Judges in Iowa who gave same-sex couples the freedom to marry were recalled, but I doubt that's going to mean that things will actually move backwards in Iowa.

Am I missing anything important?

Each election is a chance to advance marriage equality. It isn't too early to think about 2012 or any state races that will happen before then.