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Monday, February 24, 2020

Twins Discovering Love


People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers who are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

"M" and "R" should be free to marry, 
yet they can't legally marry, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including where they live, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.


Read the interview below and see for yourself what these lovers have to say. Should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?


*****

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Sunday, February 23, 2020

Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away

Reality: They might. That also means they might not.

Some people experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction report that their feelings have lasted years while they avoided any sexual contact. Others report their feelings changing after sharing a sexual relationship. Still others report the feelings endure with intensity in an ongoing consanguinamorous relationship. There are other possibilities as well.

It is common for feelings to evolve in any relationship. Polyamorists often talk about New Relationship Energy and Old Relationship Energy. Most people know that relationships can often start with infatuation that may not last, and may or may not be replaced with other feelings.

It appears to be very rare for GSA to evaporate away by simply ignoring it. Family and friends who tell someone experiencing GSA to just forget about it or ignore it may mean well, but they're not aware of just how overwhelming it can be. Even people who recognize the person to which they’re attracted is bad news, even abusive, may still feel drawn intensely to them. This is yet another reason why GSA needs to be decriminalized, brought out of the shadows, and dealt with seriously and respectfully.


See Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin These Relationships

See Myth: If Only They'd Known Ahead of Time, GSA Wouldn't Have Happened
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Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Brother's Keeper Wrote in to How To Do It

At slate.com there is an advice column "How To Do It" written by Rich Juzwiak. Here's something that was posted yesterday.
My Wife Wants Us to Have Sex With Her BrotherI’m not opposed in principle.
That's a headline that gets attention.
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Sunday, February 16, 2020

Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin GSA Relationships Because a Person Needs a Nonsexual Relationship With Their Genetic Relative

Reality: Sometimes including sex in the relationship is the best option for the relationship.

By definition, people experiencing reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction didn’t have ongoing familial relationships with the person(s) to whom they are attracted. They may want to develop one, and they may already be happy with their existing familial relationships.

Many people report that consaguinamory made them much closer, even if they have ceased that part of their relationship.

As far as someone needing a nonsexual relationship with a relative… in many situations involving GSA, the person does have a nonsexual relationship with some genetic relatives. On the other hand, there are people who never have any relationship whatsoever with their close genetic relatives who do quite well in life.

What people need in their lives is not to be subjected to abusive relationships, regardless of whether there is a close genetic relation. What people need is not to be criminalized or bullied or discriminated against for whatever consensual relationship they have.

See Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA

See Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away
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Thursday, February 13, 2020

Will Utah Become Less Hateful?

Utah, like every US state, needs relationship rights and full marriage equality for all adults. Unfortunately, Utah has been one of the worst of the states, going so far as to criminalize polyfidelity.

Change might be on the way, however. From thehill.com...
A bill that would effectively decriminalize polygamy among consenting adults in Utah was unanimously endorsed by a state Senate committee this week, sending the legislation to the full chamber for a vote, The Salt Lake City Tribune reported. 
The Utah Senate Judiciary, Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Committee pushed the bill through after hearing testimony from those who said current state law labels law-abiding citizens as criminals.
Let adults have the relationships to which they mutually agree.

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Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is here again. Many people will be getting married. Married people will be celebrating their anniversaries, or simply having a night out, as will other people hoping to get married someday, or maybe just enjoying being together in public.

If you are in such a situation, good for you and enjoy it.

Whether you are or not, take a moment to think about all of the people who can’t marry the person or person(s) they love, or can’t so much as hold hands in public without being accosted. Think about the people, consenting adults, who have to completely hide their relationships because they could be sent to prison for simply having sex in private. Think about the people who have to hide who they are because, where they live, they could be killed for being who they are. Think about the people who can’t accept gifts from their their lover(s) at work, or even a loving comment in social media, because it would out them and get them fired.

This is what goes on because some people are being denied their rights to share sex, love, residence, and marriage. The US has had the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry nationwide, which was a great step forward, for years now, and it hasn't hurt anything. Other victories for that freedom to marry since February 14, 2019 have included...

February 19...Same-sex marriage became legal in the Mexican state of Nuevo León.

March 29...The Grand Court of the Cayman Islands ruled that same-sex marriage is legal in the Cayman Islands, but the ruling was stayed pending the conclusion of the government's appeal to the Cayman Islands Court of Appeal, the islands' highest court.

April 2...Same-sex marriage became legal in the Mexican state of Aguascalientes.

May 21...Same-sex marriage became legal in the Mexican state of San Luis Potosí.

May 24...Same-sex marriage became legal in Taiwan.

June 11...Same-sex marriage became legal in the Mexican state of Hidalgo.

June 12...The Constitutional Tribunal of Ecuador voted 5–4 to legalize same-sex marriage, went into effect July 8.

June 29...Same-sex marriage became legal in the Mexican state of Baja California Sur.

July 25...The Supreme Administrative Court of Bulgaria ruled that Bulgaria must grant residency rights to same-sex married couples including at least one citizen of the European Union.

August 28...Same-sex marriage became legal in the Mexican state of Oaxaca.

December 18...The ruling party of Mexico introduced a proposed constitutional amendment to federally legalize same-sex marriage.

January 13...Same-sex marriage became legal in Northern Ireland.

January 16...A same sex marriage bill passed in the Senate of Chile by a 22–16 vote. Let's hope it will be adopted into law!


In most of the world, a man can’t marry both of the women he loves, despite both women being in favor of such a marriage.

The people in most of these interviews can't have legally recognized marriages anywhere in the world, with perhaps one or two exceptions, and we need full marriage equality before people like Linda, Melissa, and Matthew can tie the knot.

So enjoy Valentine's Day if you are able, but think for a moment about the people who will only be able to fully enjoy theirs when we have full marriage equality so that an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, persecution, or discrimination. Help make it happen sooner rather than later.

Do you have special plans? Or, if you're reading this after Valentine's Day, do you have anything special to report? If so, comment below. Remember, you can comment anonymously. Or, if you prefer, send Keith an email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com
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Monday, February 10, 2020

Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA

Reality: What is a good or the best outcome to a situation involving Genetic Sexual Attraction depends on the circumstances and the people involved.

Situations involving Genetic Sexual Attraction are varied. There have been people who’ve fallen in love, married, and had children before they’ve discovered their close genetic relation. There are situations where one person is experiencing GSA but nobody else is. There are situations in which one person involved is an abusive person. Sometimes people experiencing GSA had been happily committed to someone else in a closed relationship. Sometimes GSA involves people who are in dead marriages to others, raising children. Sometimes there is an adult in their thirties or forties and a teenager who is too young to legally consent and not independent.

Some people want to apply their religious rules or their personal prejudice against consanguinamory to say that that sexual affection is never good in a GSA situation.

This blog fully supports the rights of consenting adults to share in sexual affection, but we recognize that not every specific relationship is a healthy one.

For some, spending a lot of time together in-person is helpful. For others, keeping interaction limited is better.

For some, building a life going forward that involves socializing in the genetic roles (parent-adult child, siblings, etc.) works best. For others, it might be more of a friendship. For still others, it might be as lovers.

For a small number of people, the best outcome is keeping a distance or cutting off contact entirely.

For some people, it is best that their relationship not involve sex. For others, a relationship that includes sex for a limited amount of time is best. For still others, relationship that includes sex in perpetuity, such as a spousal relationship, is the best outcome. People should be able to seek the best outcome without the undue influence of bigotry.

There is no single, one-size-fits-all way to deal with GSA. In some relationships, getting sexual is the best the course of action. In others, it wouldn’t be a positive thing. This is one reason why it is critical that people experiencing GSA be allowed to get the assistance they need without criminalization or other forms of discrimination.

See Myth: GSA Causes Birth Defects or the Children Will Be Deformed

See Myth: Sex Will Always Ruin These Relationships Because a Person Needs a Nonsexual Relationship With Their Genetic Relative




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Thursday, February 6, 2020

A Good Start by California Governor Gavin Newsom

We agree with California Governor Newsom...
People who have been convicted in California for engaging in consensual adult, sexual conduct, including consensual sexual activity between adults...are encouraged to submit a direct pardon application to Governor Newsom.
Nobody should have been arrested, let alone convicted, for sharing affection with other adults. Over the years, various states in the US have had laws criminalizing (and otherwise discriminating against) such relationships and sexuality, whether it was against unmarried sex, interracial relationships, LGBTQ people, polyamorous people, swingers, and other ethical nonmonogamists, consanguineous lovers, kinksters and fetishists, and others. Anyone convicted under these laws, or other laws used as excuses to punish such lovers, should be pardoned, whether they are still alive or not.

You can read more about what is going on California, and the work of, and persecution against the late Bayard Rustin, here.
This new clemency initiative will allow pardons for people like Rustin who were subjected to discriminatory arrest and prosecution for engaging in consensual conduct...
There are still laws on the books in California that need to be removed.

Governor Newsom, please work with the state legislature to repeal any laws still on the books in California discriminating against adults for sharing love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults. There are still people in California who can't marry their lovers, some of whom can't even live authentically because they face prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Please, Governor Newsom, work to remove all laws against consensual adult relationships and criminal convictions related to current and past laws.

Repeal unjust laws.

Pardon the unjustly convicted.

Adopt a Marriage Equality Amendment.
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Brother Writes to Deidre Sanders About GSA With His Sister

Found as "SIBLING ATTRACTION" at thescottishsun.co.uk...
I KNOW I can’t be with her but the only woman for me is my sister.

Yes, you CAN be with her. Many others, likely millions, are with each other. But they have to avoid the bigots.
I’m a guy of 22. I was brought up in care and my younger sister was adopted. 
She was two years old when our dad passed away. Our mother had drug and alcohol problems and she couldn’t look after us. 
My sister found me last year and we have become so close. The last time we met up she came to my flat. 
She dropped a coin and as we both went to pick it up we clashed heads. As we came up I rubbed her head and then I kissed her.
Dropped a coin? She's clever.
She kissed me back and then we ended up having sex. 
It wasn’t awkward afterwards but I got the vibe she didn’t want to talk about it. 
It can be difficult for some people to talk when they've been bombarded with senseless anticonsanguinamorous messages for so many years. But talking about it will be necessary.
She is 20.
You are both consenting adults. If this is what you want, nobody else should be able to interfere. There is no good reason you shouldn't be together.

Deidre responded by correctly bringing up Genetic Sexual Attraction. But then..

Take a step back – until you feel confident of just feeling brotherly love for your sister.
This is a cruel thing to say, because for many people, it isn't true that the intense attraction will go away. Some people have avoided acting on their feelings for DECADES. When they finally decide to do (or resume) what they've both wanted, they've kicked themselves for waiting so long. Their biggest problem? The bigotry of others.

There is nothing wrong with consenting adults being together, no matter how much someone else finds it strange or disgusting. GSA is very common.

The man who wrote that letter, or anyone else who is experiencing something similar, should know there is a supportive and helpful place to talk.

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Sunday, February 2, 2020

Falsely Invoking Science to Justify Bigotry

The "genetics argument" against consanguineous sex and marriage is usually a smokescreen that misuses science to justify bigotry.  There are some people sincerely concerned about children born to consanguineous parents (many of whom would have their concerns eased with a little education on the matter) but most of the people who use the "What about the children?" argument are simply trying to excuse their prejudice, because it sounds better than "I don't like the idea of it."

Ask someone who invokes Discredited Argument #18 if they drop opposition when it comes to a relationship that will not create biological children, such as two cisgender brothers, or a sister with a brother who has had a vasectomy, or siblings over the age of 60. Most will be stumped or will say no, they still oppose such relationships, perhaps citing another Discredited Argument, probably #1 or 3.

Another way of exposing this as a smokescreen is to ask them if they support the same restrictions on an unrelated heterosexual couple in which the woman is 40 years of age.

The fact is, we don't prevent people with known, serious genetic diseases, or who have lived all of their lives in the same neighborhood with pollutants known to cause birth defects, or who have taken medications known to cause birth defects from dating, having sex, marrying, having children, etc., so why deny rights to consanguineous lovers who are more likely to have healthy children together or won't be having children at all?

Everyone knows happy, healthy, intelligent, adorable children born to close relatives, whether they know it or not, and whether the children themselves know of their true biological ancestry or not. I can point to such people whose parents were close relatives. Should they have not been born?

Most children born to consanguineous parents are healthy. That's a fact. We don't hear about that much. Instead, "horror" stories are sensationalized... where a tyrannical patriarch or set of people isolated their family and abused children, engaging in deliberate inbreeding over generations. The problems resulting are often caused by the lack of prenatal care, lack of medical treatment, poor nutrition, physical abuse, substance abuse, poor hygiene, a polluted environment, etc. That's as far removed from what this blog is about (loving relationships between consenting adults) as possible. Cases like that do not justify denying consanguinamorous adults their right to be together in whatever way they want.

Bigotry and restrictions against consanguineous lovers predate a good understanding of genetics. It is just that people now misapply facts about genetics to cover for their dislike of the idea of consanguinamory.
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Saturday, February 1, 2020

Myth: GSA Causes Birth Defects or the Children Will Be Deformed


Reality: If sex between people brought together through Genetic Sexual Attraction results in a birth, GSA does not cause birth defects in and of itself.

Most children born to close relatives are healthy. You know some, whether you know it or not and whether they know their own true parentage or not.

Birth defects can be the result of injury during pregnancy, substances ingested during pregnancy, environmental factors, or genetic problems. It is the last one that people tend to be thinking of, usually, when they repeat this myth. That’s because when both genetic parents carry the same genetic problem, it may be demonstrated in the children. However, this can happen with parents who aren’t closely related, too. A genetic problem may also result in a child if only one parent carries the genetic problem.

Many people who are brought together through GSA don't have children together, due to personal choices, or age, or surgery, or their genders, or some other condition, or even fear of the children being used as evidence in prosecution. See here for more extensive information about this topic.

See Myth: People Who Act on GSA Won’t Be Able to Have Normal Lives

See Myth: There is Only One Good Outcome to GSA
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