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Thursday, May 28, 2020

Is It OK?

A frequently asked question is some variation of "It is OK for me to date my [fill in the blank]?"

It is sometimes asked as "Is it wrong for me to have sex with...?"

The blank is filled with a personal relation, as opposed to a professional contact. A personal relation would be a cousin, stepbrother, sister-in-law, aunt, sibling, or someone else along those lines.

Here is the easiest way to determine if it is OK.

Ask yourself these three questions:

1) Are we both/all adults (or minors close in age)?

2) Do we both/all consent to this?

3) Is it compatible with any existing agreement with another or others that we each want to keep intact?

If the answer to all three questions is YES, then it is acceptable or OK.
Some people might disapprove, but they don’t have to date or have sex with you or anyone else they don’t want to, and their opinion shouldn’t rule over your love life.

Unfortunately, in many places, there are still unjust laws discriminating against consenting adults for having sex, such as laws against gay sex or consanguineous sex or sex between certain steprelations. So while it is OK on the ethical sense, it might not be legal where you are, at least not yet. That's one of the reasons we are here to speak up for the rights of all adults. Nobody should be criminalized for sharing affection with other consenting adults.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2020

A Novel for Consideration and Review

If you’re into fiction with consanguinamory, you might want to check out a story on Amazon. Here is what the author told me (below). Please leave a review at Amazon or Goodreads or at least email her to let her know what you think. -K

*****

Dear Keith,

As you may recall, I published Forbidden: Our Secret Love--a beautiful story of love between two adult half-siblings--twenty months ago.

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Friday, May 22, 2020

Monday is Memorial Day in the US

Monday, May 25 is a day that fallen military personnel are honored and remembered.

Some of our fallen were LGBTQ, some were polyamorous. Some were consanguinamorous. Until somewhat recently, none of them could be open about who they were or who they loved without dire consequences; only some of our LGBTQ military personnel have been able to come out thanks to the end of DADT and the implementation of some protections. Yet along with the rest of their military brothers and sisters, they fought and struggled and suffered.

So please let freedom ring.

Someone should be able to serve no matter their gender identity, sexual orientation or their relationships with consenting adults. And they should be able to have their marriages legalized, and certainly not be punished for their relationships.
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Monday, May 18, 2020

How to Pull Off Living With Your Consanguinamorous Partner(s)

So you're in a consanguinamorous relationship and having the time of your life, or you're considering it, and you want to know about the possibilities and how-to when it comes to living with your lover. Some of you will want separate residences but most of you want to reside together. Someday, the considerations written below will no longer be necessary because things will be better, but for now, these serious considerations are necessary.

On the "good news" side is that, while there is much bigotry in many places against consanguinamory, often including criminalization, so that some lovers can't marry or sex is illegal, there are no laws against relatives living together and most cultures encourage it instead of discouraging it. There is a long history of family members living together. Although there has been an "American Dream" portraying a "nuclear family" married man and woman (not closely rated) living in a single-family house with 2.3 children, the reality has always been different for most people. One common variation has been for a couple (married or unmarried) or a single person to live with their parents or have a parent living with them, having one or more sibling living with them, etc.
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Friday, May 15, 2020

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia.

May 17 is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia.

Regardless of someone's sex or gender identity, regardless of their sexual orientation, an adult should be free to be themselves, to be in public, to work, to be "single," or to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, harassment, discrimination, or any other negative effects of homophobia, transphobia, biphobia, etc.

Let's stand up to hate, bigotry, prejudice, discrimination, bullying, and unjust laws. Let's protect people from being abused by those who would perpetuate hate.

Progress is often difficult and achieved through much struggle. Sometimes it can seem like there have been setbacks. But overall, progress is being made. Let's keep the momentum going!
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Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Consanguinamorous Youth

This blog is about equal rights for consenting adults.

But what about legal minors? It is dangerous to ignore that many legal minors experiment, explore, and get affectionate. I'm talking about age peers. I'm also addressing young people who have feelings for a parent, aunt, uncle, or other significantly older relative. If an older person is coercing you, or messing with you while you (try to) sleep, that's NOT what this is about. Don't let anyone abuse you!

Much of this entry on how consanguinamorous people can protect themselves is relevant, as can this entry on living together.

This essay is a result of someone anonymous contacting this blog's sister Tumblr to describe a situation he had experienced in his life and to ask if there are any resources to help people who are currently in the position he'd been in so many years ago.

A subsequent message was from a teacher who had to report minors who've revealed their experiences with consanguineous sex, due to mandatory reporting laws that apply to people in certain jobs.

What do you do if you're in a consanguineous relationship or you think you have a consanguinamorous orientation, but you're under the age of consent or not a legal adult?

Please note: Most of this entry is going to be strictly about how things are and practical situations, not about the morality of any given situation or actions. While we welcome all adults and anyone struggling due to prejudice against their gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationships, this entry is NOT endorsing or advocating underage sex or anything else illegal.

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Monday, May 11, 2020

Good For Mom

Quora can be a good place to ask and answer questions and learn new things. I'm there and so is friend of Full Marriage Equality Ewen Owen, who recently answered  this question: "How is it good  for me to have sex with my mother?"

On her side:
  • She will have a lover who she can trust more than any other man.
  • She will experience double love with you, familial and erotic.
  • She will have sex that is better than she ever dreamed was possible.
  • She will not have to worry about her lover getting bored with her.
  • She will have the fun of being in a taboo relationship with you.
  • She will have as much sex as she wants, without having to date.
  • She will not be at any risk from random creeps.
  • She will love you in a whole new way.
  • She will not risk contracting STDs.
  • She can have fun trying new things in bed with you.

Excellent answer! 

A consanguinamorous relationship brings all the usual benefits of sex and many of the benefits of other relationships, but also so much more.

There are many benefits for the mother. There are also many for the son or daughter. Consider things carefully.

If you can think of, or have experienced, such benefits, feel free to comment with them below.
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Saturday, May 9, 2020

Mother’s Day

It's Mother's Day weekend, at least around these parts, so Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there, especially mothers who face discrimination, persecution, and even prosecution for loving one or more other adults, and the mothers who've stood by their children who've faced bigotry for being who they are and loving who they do.

We're making progress. Hang in there and continue to care for your loved ones.

If you have plans for an interesting Mother's Day or end up having an interesting Mother's Day and you think our readers will want to hear about it, do tell! Sons and daughters.... any special plans?

I include those who've "adopted" mother figures, especially if you've done so because your own mother is no longer with us or was not a supportive person. Almost all of us have a mother in our life, even if that mother isn't officially family.

Some mothers have recently been surprised by discovering just how much they are loved. Some have recently been forced apart from some of their loved ones.

So you mothers or the people who admire them: comment below, which you can do anonymously, or you can email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.
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Friday, May 8, 2020

Help for Friends and Family of Consanguinamorous Siblings

Our friend at The Final Manifesto has done great service and had given this blog permission to repost what was posted on Tumblr. I recommend following that Tumblr blog and the blogspot as well. What is below is all TFN's work; it is not mine... [UPDATE: Here is a posting from Jane Doe that addresses this topic.]

(Here is a PDF version of the full text)

This is for the benefit of friends or family of romantically involved siblings, who may have recently discovered their secret. Though I’ve used “incest” in the title, I won’t continue to use the terms “incest” or “incestuous,” I will use “consanguinamory” and “consanguineous” (pronounced “con-sang-gwin-am-or-ee” and “con-sang-gwin-ee-us). “Incest” is too loaded a word for intelligent discussion, and I only ever use it for sexual abuse. If I say “consanguinamory”, assume I am talking about consensual sex. (I’m going to assume that the couple is opposite-sex, but most of this also applies for same-sex couples.) Remember: there’s a difference between love and abuse.
This might be long, but bear with me. All of your concerns are about to be addressed. If you truly love them, you will have the patience to read this.


- INTRODUCTION

First, stop and take a breath. I know that this must be a lot to take in. I seriously doubt that you’ve ever sat down to consider the possibility of this happening. I don’t expect you to be calm, but I do expect you to care enough about their well-being to seriously consider what I’m about to say.

Did you discover them accidentally? If so, talk to them individually – with an open mind – and make sure that there was no coercion. Ignore the taboo nature of what you just found out. If you have no evidence of coercion or manipulation, then do not try to project abuse where there is none, and do not force them to internalize your own sense of what’s “taboo.” Why would you ever want to burden them with so much unnecessary guilt and shame? Talk to them together, and get the story from them, calmly. See how they act together. Remember to treat them with respect, especially if they’re already adults; it’s what you would want for yourself.

Did they come out to you on their own? Then there’s even less chance that there was any coercion involved. In fact, coming out to you is one of the bravest and most trusting gifts they could ever give you. Not only is their love extremely taboo, but even if they are adults, in most places on Earth they could be thrown in jail, possibly for the rest of their lives. You could get them thrown in jail. Every person they tell is a potential threat who could ruin their lives forever, getting them locked up for years and permanently placed on the sex-offender registry. And yet, despite all that, they told you. They could have lied – it wouldn’t have been easy, but they could have – but they told you. However much you thought they trusted and loved you, they just proved that their true trust and love is greater.

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Tuesday, May 5, 2020

A Cautionary Tale of Polyamorous Consanguinamory


This wont be an easy or quick read.

This is an in-depth recounting from a woman who was in a polyamorous consanguinamorous triad of her own initiation. It has been several years since it ended.

It’s a cautionary tale, though, unlike most of the interviews you'll find here, because they didn’t ever *talk* about it. They never discussed anything about it. They just did it. That, along with feeling isolated because of societal negativity, made things stressful for this woman.

Communication is important in any relationship. It is especially important in polyamorous relationships, and especially polyamorous relationships that were already established before they became sexual. It’s vital when three or more people are involved. If you can’t communicate about what's going on, you shouldn’t really be attempting an ongoing relationship. Consanguineous sex is almost always explosive. The intensity is unlike anything else. There’s a reason we call it double love or a double bond. Some people liken it to an addictive drug, and this woman does, too.

Communication is important. Reaching out to others is important. Reading the whole account will take a while. As you read this, notice how things could have turned out differently if they had talked things through, and didn’t have to hide.

I present her experience in her own words below. I have organized what she told me, but these are her words. If you contact me about her, refer to her as Zoe.

PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME OF THE NARRATIVE BELOW RECOUNTS EXPLICITLY SEXUAL SITUATIONS.


*****

I’m a mid-to-late twenties female and I was in an extended sexual relationship with both parents. For a long time I've felt really isolated, and if there's someone out there that can read what happened to me and say, "Yeah, I feel that too," that's a good thing. It started when I was 18 and ended when I was 22.

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Friday, May 1, 2020

Spending More Time With Family These Days?

Life has been at least somewhat disrupted for most people. Workplaces, universities, and schools are shutting down, gigs are being cancelled, conventions, festivals, sporting events, and entertainment events are being cancelled or delayed. Almost anything other than medical facilities, grocery stores, and pharmacies are being closed, and social distancing is being encouraged in an effort to manage the spread of a virus.

These things can mean spending more time at home with family members and close relatives.

While some may get on each other's nerves in a bad way, there can also be... certain pleasant effects.

With that in mind, you might need to read one or more entries on this blog that I list below. Feel free to contact me.

Here's a special message for young people.

Consanguinamory (Consensual Incest) FAQ

It's more common than most people think for close relatives to share sexual affection or experimentation. Intrafamial sex and romance is as old as time.

Do You Have Feelings For a Close Relative?

Do you think or know that a close relative has feelings for you?

Yes, it is OK. But should you "do it" in your specific situation?

You might be able to make it happen.

Taking it slow and cautiously might be the way, unless the two (or three, or...?) of you can't hold back.

Stepsiblings, stepparents, and stepchildren might want to read this.

Are you considering coming out as consanguinamorous?

A message for family and friends.

How To Be An Ally to Consanguinamorous People You Know

Are you considering, or involved in, a situation that isn't monogamous?

Read exclusive interviews with close relatives who are involved in everything from spousal-style relationships to family-with-benefits arrangements.
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