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Tuesday, March 31, 2020

We Get Letters From the Consanguinamorous

One of the great things about having this blog is the contact from people relieved to find they aren't alone or want to share what has been going on in their life, and they don't have many places to go.

You can leave a comment below, including anonymously, or there are other ways to contact me.

This comment was left after a recent entry, So Much Time At Home...

Mom and I have started having sex because of the lockdown. I basically joked that we'd have to end up f---ing each other because we couldn't go out and see anyone, and she said 'we could do that'. I've always thought about it before as a fantasy, but the reality of it is incredible. She's still my parent, we're still very much mother and son, but being so intimate with each other is awesome. Really the only thing I regret is that we hadn't done it sooner.
Congrats, Anonymous! I would like to hear more from you. Please do get in touch.

I hear that over and and over again. "We wish we had started sooner." Just see below.

I'm not one to say sexual affection should only take place within a long term romance. While much consanguineous sex is within such romances, sometimes it is more like "family-with-benefits" and a stress reliever or recreational activity, and that's OK as long as everyone consents and agrees. But don't be surprised if a romance does come from it. Or maybe it will stay casual.

Another Anonymous left this...
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Transgender Day of Visibility 2020

Transgender people are everywhere. If you think you've never met a transgender person or shared a restroom with someone who is transgender, you're almost certainly wrong. You just didn't realize.

We want transgender people to know: You are welcome here. We care. We will continue to speak up for your rights.
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Saturday, March 28, 2020

Polahi Tribe Enjoys Consanguinamory

At thejakartaglobe.com, this report about a tribe in the Gorontalo Forest was filed under "Odd News." Not that some people insult the customs of others, or anything.
The Polahi nomadic tribe living in isolation in the forest of Indonesia’s Gorontalo province practices incest, permitting relationships between father and daughter or mother and son, a report said in Jakarta on Wednesday.

There's not a people group on the planet in which consensual incest doesn't take place. The difference is, it is usually kept in the closet these days. With this tribe, the relationships are official.
The tribe roams the thick forest of Humohulo in the Boliyohuto mountain range of Boalemo district in Gorontalo on Sulawesi island.

It is considered normal if a father marries his daughter or a son marries his mother.

The former head of the tribe, Baba Manio, who died in April, had two wives, Mama Tanio and Hasimah.
So in addition to consanguinamory, they also have polyamory, even if only a polygynous form. I'm curious to know if any of them practice polyandry and how they treat LGBT members of the tribe.
Babuta, the son of Mama Tanio and Baba Manio, replaced his father. Babuta is married to his sister Lailya, who is the daughter of Baba Manio and Hasimah.

So he's married to his half-sister. This is very much like the leaders of ancient Egypt and much more recently, Hawaii, as well as many nations and people groups.
Marriage rites are also simple, with the couple taken to a river and water thrown on both of them while mantras are read out.

Kompas online quoted photographer Ebbi Vebri Adrian, who often has contact with the tribe, as saying that despite their intermarriage, the tribe did not appear to suffer from the genetic deterioration usually associated with the practice.

“What is strange is that none of their descendents appeared handicapped, as is usual with intermarriages,” he said.


It's a matter of genes, diet, and environment. If those things are all good, the children from these relationships are likely to be healthy. The communal and familial bonds are no doubt quite strong as well. I'd be interested if they know how many generations back they have been doing this, and other sociological results of their relationships. Maybe we can learn something from them, whether from a biological perspective or sociological.

In many US states and some other countries, it would be illegal for the leader of this tribe, if visiting, to have sex with his wife. If his father had visited, one, if not both of his wives would be insulted by a denial of the recognition of their marital status. That's just one of many reasons we need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later.
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Saturday, March 21, 2020

Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid!

Are you bothered that there are people who are in love even though they are close relatives? Do you think the world is falling apart when you hear about them?

Well, guess what?

RIGHT NOW, and any moment of every day, there are thousands, maybe millions of them in the throes of ecstasy with each other, making love, having sex, embracing, kissing, having orgasms. Maybe even three, four, or more lovers all together! Related!!! And they’re going to keep doing it whether you like it or not.

Yet the planet keeps turning.

Does that bother you?

If it does, you might want to get some help.
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Monday, March 16, 2020

From Despair to Delight

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below should be free 
to legallmarry her lover, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including 48 US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?


WARNING: Mild sexuality.
 


*****

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Myth: People Only Experience GSA Because They’d Heard About It or Knew of Their Relation

Reality: There have been people who’ve experienced Genetic Sexual Attraction who were unaware of their genetic relation and had never heard of GSA before.

Trying to blame people for experiencing GSA can be like trying to blame someone for where they were born. 

Sons and daughters had no control over being placed in the circumstances that resulted in reunion GSA. Siblings usually didn’t either, although there are a few situations in which an older sibling, especially a half sibling, chose to be away from their younger sibling during the critical years of childhood, but it’s not immoral to, for example, go away to college or relocate for work or pleasure. While it is nice for family to visit, an adult older sibling has no moral obligation to make sure they are around their parent’s youngest child enough to ensure GSA doesn’t happen.

Genetic parents are more likely to have some control over the circumstances, but they don’t always. Some of them don’t even know they have a genetic child “out there” until that child, now an adult, shows up on their doorstep or in their online inbox.

GSA is a normal, natural reaction to the circumstances.

See Myth: If Only They'd Known Ahead of Time, GSA Wouldn't Have Happened

See Myth: It is Illegal Everywhere to Act on GSA
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Tuesday, March 10, 2020

If Your Partner is Experiencing Reunion GSA

Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of this page.


What’s Happening?

You might be dealing with or facing a very difficult situation.
  • Has your partner or spouse connected or reconnected with a close genetic relative?
  • Did they have minimal or no face-to-face interaction from the time at least one of them was around the age of seven into puberty, or longer?
  • Is your partner and/or their "long lost" relative experiencing a strong attraction to, or preoccupation with the other? Are they flirting or touching/hugging a lot? Do they want to spend a lot of time together or communicating?
There’s a strong chance that at least one of them is experiencing reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction. GSA is real and is a common, normal response to the circumstances involved. GSA is not an indication that anything is wrong with your partner or the other person. It is not wrong to have these feelings.

Genetic Sexual Attraction happens in up to half of all situations in which pubescent or post-pubescent genetic relatives meet for the first time or reunite after having been separated since at least one of them was a child, provided the genders and sexual orientation line up. It can happen whether this person is your partner’s genetic parent or grandparent, aunt/uncle, sibling or half sibling, nephew/niece, grown child/grandchild, even a first cousin.

It’s an overwhelming attraction unlike any other experience.

A couple of words of caution are needed here:

1) Sometimes people are just excited to connect or reconnect with “blood” or kin. There may not be any sexual attraction at all.

2) If your partner/your family is being stalked/harassed by this person rather than it being a relationship welcomed by your partner, that’s not what this entry is about. Encourage your partner to block contact and seek a restraining order.


Why Is This Happening?
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Monday, March 9, 2020

Myth: If Only They'd Known Ahead of Time, GSA Wouldn't Have Happened

Reality: There have been people who knew of their genetic relation and also knew about reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction, who were averse to the idea of sexual interaction between close genetic relatives, who have, nonetheless, experienced GSA.

The only way to be sure to avoid GSA is to either:

1) Never introduce/reunite genetic relatives raised apart, which is impossible given that they’ve been known to end up together without even intending to.

OR

2) Make sure they’re a regular part of each other’s life while growing up.

#2 May not be desirable for any number of reasons, but even close relatives who were raised together might end up having sexual interaction. For example, back in the 1970s studies revealed that about ten percent of people in their early twenties would admit to already having had (consensual, to be redundant) sexual contact with a sibling. This doesn’t even include contact with other close relatives. The percentage is probably higher today. While this usually doesn’t fall under what we define as GSA, it is still what people are worried about: close relatives enjoying each other sexually. So, avoiding the kind of distance that fosters GSA is still not an assurance that there will not be an attraction and/or some sexual interaction between close genetic relatives.

See Myth: GSA Feelings Will Go Away

See Myth: People Only Experience GSA Because They’d Heard About It or Knew of Their Relation
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Sunday, March 8, 2020

Support the Rights of All Women

Have you been observing International Women's Day?

All women should be free to be themselves, to have their basic human and civil rights, whether they are cisgender, transgender, or noncomforming or fluid; whether they are asexual, heterosexual, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, or pansexual; whether they are aromantic, celibate, monogamous, or ethically nonmonogamous. Whether their relationships are exogamous, endogamous, or consanguineous. Whether they are questioning or they are certain. Whether they are raising children or have raised children or not. Whether they are a married or partnered or single.

A woman, regardless of her birth, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with ANY and ALL consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, shaming, or discrimination.

(Same goes for any other adults, too.)
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Friday, March 6, 2020

How Nonmonogamous People Can Avoid Trouble


Believe it or not, there are still criminal laws in many places criminalizing consensual sex and relationships between adults.

It doesn't matter to them how loving, happy, and lasting the relationships are. It apparently doesn't matter to the people interfering that every dollar or minute they spend trying to stop consenting adults from loving each other is a dollar or minute that could instead go into protecting people, especially children, against predators.

In addition to the persecution and prosecution of consanguinamorous people, polyamorists, polygamists, and other ethical nonmonogamists can face discrimination and even prosecution.
Some awesome people put together a very helpful lists of state laws for polyamorous people in the US or considering moving to the US. First, note the disclaimer that there is an ever-present at the bottom of this blog. I'll mostly repeat it here:
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Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Thanks to Rudolf Mandelbaum

Rudolf Mandelbaum has updated his essay, "Incest is a Social Justice Issue." It's worth a read and careful consideration.

Of course we prefer the term "consanguinamory" to describe affection to which people mutually consent, but we understand why the "i" word was used.
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