It’s Not Unusual

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors. While my appeals have been granted, restoring my answers, the silly censors have continued to report my answers out of desperate bigotry. So, this could turn out to be a looooong series. Enjoy!

If you don’t follow me on Quora already, please do so and upvote my answers, if you’re so inclined. 

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https://www.quora.com/Is-it-unusual-for-me-to-be-attracted-to-my-mother/answer/Keith-Pullman

Is it unusual for me to be attracted to my mother?

Keith Pullman

Civil Rights Blogger & Consanguinamory Consultant (2010–present)7y

It is normal in that is happens to many young men. It may not be “normal” as in happening to most men your age. However, it is common enough that you certainly know other young men who have the same feelings for their mother, whether you know about that or not. It isn't exactly the kind of thing a lot of people tell other people they know.

There is nothing wrong with having these thoughts and feelings as long as they don't interfere with your reasonable obligations (such as your education or employment).

I actually know mothers and adult sons who've acted on such feelings, and some of them have the most beautiful relationships. It really doesn't matter if someone else is disgusted, and no, it isn't illegal in all places.

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NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Why Does Someone Feel That Way?

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors.

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https://www.quora.com/I-m-16-why-do-I-have-sexual-feelings-for-my-dad/answer/Keith-Pullman

I’m 16, why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?

Keith Pullman

I network with, interview, & befriend adults with consensual incest experience.3y

Originally Answered: I’m 16,why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?

Most 16-year-olds are very hormonal. For some, this means they’ll have sexual feelings for a lot of people in their lives. What most people don’t admit is that this can include close relatives, including a parent.

There is also a small percentage of the population that has a sexual orientation that is somewhat consanguinamorous, meaning they are attracted to one or more close relatives in large part because they are close relatives.

If your father has raised you, and he’s been a great father, that can also factor into your attraction.

If your father didn’t raise you, but he’s back in your life now, well, a lot of people feel a very strong attraction to a close genetic relative if that relative didn’t raise them, but they are in each other’s lives now.

Finally, if your father is “objectively” attractive, that might be most or part of the reason why.

Sexual attractions are very diverse.

You are certainly not alone. You probably know other people who’ve been attracted to their own father, whether it was fleeting or they have a strong lasting attraction, or something somewhere between.

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NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding  them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Mothers, Sons, and the Law

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors.

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https://www.quora.com/Is-it-illegal-for-a-mother-to-have-sex-with-her-own-son/answer/Keith-Pullman

Is it illegal for a mother to have sex with her own son?

Keith Pullman

I network with, interview, & befriend adults with consensual incest experience.2y

It’s still illegal for a woman who have sex with her adult son in 48 states in the US and many countries.

It isn’t illegal in the US states of Rhode Island & New Jersey, as well as various modern countries, including France and Spain.

Regardless of criminalization, there are mothers and sons having sex in just about every neighborhood on the planet, regardless of class or ethnicity. And there always have been. Sometimes the sex is a very casual “family-with-benefits” agreement, sometimes it is part of a spousal relationship lasting decades, and sometimes it is somewhere along the wide spectrum between.

Very few are ever caught & prosecuted where it is still illegal, but such lovers need to be carefulf in order to protect themselves and each other.

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NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding  them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Are These Fantasies Normal?

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors.

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https://www.quora.com/Ive-been-fantasizing-about-my-sister-is-this-normal-Should-I-do-something-to-stop-this/answer/Keith-Pullman

I've been fantasizing about my sister, is this normal? Should I do something to stop this?

Keith Pullman

I have interviewed hundreds of people about their families. 4y

I don’t know how old you are, or how old your sister is, but if you’re a teenager or older, fantasies are common, and if your sister is older than you or no more than a few years younger, fantasizing about her isn’t abnormal.

Many people you know have fantasized about their own siblings.

Believe it or not, some of them have actually had sex with their sibling. It is common enough that you know someone who has, even if you’re not aware that they have.

If you’re like most people, you are going to have many fantasies throughout your life. And unless you have a very stunted imagination or are incredibly lucky, many of your fantasies won’t be fulfilled in real life. But at least some of them can be.

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NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

Mothers and Sons in Japan

NOTE: I’m starting a new series on this blog. I’m going to be posting some of my answers to questions on Quora.

These specific answers were deleted after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably deleted because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them here. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

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https://www.quora.com/Does-mom-son-incest-really-exist-in-Japan/answer/Keith-Pullman

Does mom-son incest exist in Japan really?

Keith Pullman

I network with, interview, & befriend adults with consensual incest experience.3y

Mom-son incest exists everywhere. It always has, regardless of class.

“Incest” can mean two different things:

1. Assault. This is terrible and nobody should be subjected to it.
2. Consensual sex. There’s nothing wrong with this.

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Polyamory and Other Nonmonogamy Isn’t Going Away

Polyamory isn’t going away.

Nor will swinging, threesomes, or open marriages.

Ethical, disclosed, or consensual nonmonogamy isn’t going away.

Nothing is wrong with such nonmonogamy.

If you don’t want to do it, don’t. But other people are going to get their rights, including full marriage equality.

Love must win. 

Adults Having Their Basic Rights Isn’t Child Abuse

When someone advocates for all adults to have the right to be with any and all consenting adults, or specifically for the rights of polyamorous or consanguineous adult lovers, someone who hasn't bothered to think it through or is being deliberately dishonest might respond with “So, you’re advocating for the abuse of children?”

If this is your response to someone advocating the rights of all CONSENTING ADULTS to be together, something is wrong with your reading comprehension. Adults are not children. Consenting means voluntary, not an abuse situation. Consenting adults being together has nothing to do with abusing children.

Trying, but failing, to avoid looking like ignorant bigots, they might try something like “Yeah but, if we allow polyamorous, polygamous, or plural marriages, or we allow incestuous relationships or marriages, doesn't that make it more likely children will be abused by normalizing it? Isn't the next step moving on to children?”

This is an attempt at guilt by false association. It is something LGBTQ+ people have been dealing with forever. “If you allow gay people to be together, it will make it easier to molest children!” It simply doesn’t follow. It’s a lie that most LGBTQ+ people want to abuse children, and it is likewise a lie that people who are ethically nonmonogamous or consanguinamorous want to abuse children. Child abusers are going to try to abuse children. Children will be more likely to be abused and to keep quiet about it the more taboo we keep sex in general.

There are places where consanguinamorous relationships between adults are not criminalized, including a couple of US states. This has not caused an increase in child abuse in these places.

When it comes to ethical nonmonogamy, citing a few isolated villages or compounds where women don’t have equal rights and children are treated as property as proof it leads to child abuse is dishonest. Children are abused by professing monogamists every day, while most parents involved in ethical, disclosed, or consensual nonmonogamy are great parents who are not abusing children in any way.

Keeping unjust discrimination in place is wasting resources vitally needed to prevent and stop actual abuse. It makes it less likely victims and witnesses of abuse will cooperate with authorities if their own relationships are criminalized. Every bit of time and money wasted on trying to stop consenting adults from being together how they mutually agree is time and money that isn’t being spent to help people who are actually being abused.

There is no good reason to deny consenting adults their rights to be together how they mutually agree.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the US, Monday is a holiday, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. He was a giant in the fight for civil rights.



Many decades after he was assassinated, the fight for civil rights continues.

History is on our side. All consenting adults will be free to exercise their rights to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage.

Are you like those who kept trying to keep some people second-class citizens, or are you like the people who marched with King?

This is how you can help.

Helping Warms My Heart

Speaking up and working for civil rights has always made people targets for hate and bigotry. It will range from nasty comments and screeds to assaults and even murder.

When the prejudiced lash out with comments like "You're disgusting!" or "What's wrong with you?" ...I pity them.

How sad must it be to be trapped in a narrow mind, scared that things are changing? Rather than embracing and enjoying that more people will have their rights, they cling to discrimination, mostly because someone told them to and they've never thought things through.

There is no good reason, no point, to trying to deny people their rights to love each other how they mutually agree. It's a losing cause.

Such haters need to grow a heart and find something more positive and productive to do with their energy.

I will continue to speak up for the rights of all. And I hope you will continue to read and continue to share this blog with people who need to see it.

There is nothing wrong, nothing disgusting, but everything right about supporting the rights of all. Love must win and love will win. The joy I experience when I help people and when people let me know I’ve helped them makes the hate fade into nothingness.

Not Something to Fear

At the Too Afraid to Ask Reddit, konqueror238 wrote "Feeling attracted to my older sister during puberty?"

I have a older sister and she is a very good looking woman. During my puberty years my hormones were very crazy, that's very normal for boys during that age.

During those years I was very attracted to my sister's body and I will admit with shame that I used to masturbate thinking of her, it also didn't help that I was also discovering the world of porn. At that time I was very young and didn't understand the concept of "incest", my brain just went full monkey mode at the sight of boobs. It was only after quite a while I stopped feeling that way.

I will take that secret to my grave and she will never know of it. My question is, anyone else that spend their puberty years living with a attractive relative felt that way too?

It's sad that anyone would think they could be alone in having such feelings. Sex education is lacking!

It is very common to have such feelings and attractions, even if most people who do don't admit it. Some people act on their feelings.

It isn't limited to puberty, either. Some have such thoughts and desires at any age after, too, about siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandparents, etc.

The Westermarck Effect describes the "Ew!" feeling many people have about such thoughts. However, not everyone experiences the Westermarck Effect, at least not when it comes to every member of their family.

Find me on Reddit here.

For Parents Considering Consanguinamory

One of the popular pages on this blog is this Courting Consanguinamory page, which has helped a lot of people. That page is generalized, though, about starting any consanguinamorous relationship. This entry below is adapted from an answer I gave on Quora, to a parent who was asking about starting a consanguinamorous bond with their adult daughter. Most of it is adaptable to those considering being with a son, too.

Contrary to myths, this not illegal everywhere. There are a couple of US states and many countries in which it is not illegal for an adult to have sex with their parent(s). Also, there are mentally healthy women who will confide that this was one of the best experiences of their lives. Even where still illegal, very few such relationships are ever brought to the attention of law enforcement, thankfully.

You’d need to be delicate about doing this, not clumsy or rushed. You don’t want to put any pressure on her nor upset her.

Do you know if she is attracted to people of your gender? Could she be attracted to, or sexual with, someone your age? These are things you can find out by talking with her without making it clear that you would like to add a sexual or romantic bond with her.