Advocating for the right of consenting adults to share and enjoy love, sex, residence, and marriage without limits on the gender, number, or relation of participants. Full marriage equality is a basic human right.
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Thursday, December 29, 2022
Frequently Asked Question: How Common is Incest?
Wednesday, December 28, 2022
As 2022 Gives Way to 2023
Whatever holidays you celebrate, or even if you don't celebrate any, we wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.
As it is time for the end-of-the-year and New Year holidays, this blog may not be updated as often as normal. However, I will be checking, daily or more often, the various ways people can get in touch with me.
May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.
If you're LGBTQ+, polyamorous or in any form of ethical, consensual, or disclosed nonmonogamy, consanguinamorous, or otherwise in a relationship (or, NOT in a relationship) and some in your family are prejudiced against you because of it: I'm so sorry. You are worthy of affirmation. May you get through this time with as little trouble as possible.
If you do find, or already have found, yourself having feelings for. or sharing affection with, family members, you're definitely not alone. Recent years have seen more of that. And, as it was before, it was common enough for close relatives to share sexual or romantic affection that you certainly know people who have. You are NOT alone.
Whether you're blood relatives, step relatives, adoptive relatives, in-laws, or honorary relatives, there's nothing wrong with your feelings and, depending on the circumstances, there may be nothing wrong with sharing more affection.
Will you make the most of this time?
You might need to read one or more entries on this blog that I list below.
Here's a special message for young people.
Consanguinamory (Consensual Incest) FAQ
It's more common than most people think for close relatives to share sexual affection or experimentation. Intrafamial sex and romance is as old as time.
Do You Have Feelings For a Close Relative?
Do you think or know that a close relative has feelings for you?
Yes, it is OK. But should you "do it" in your specific situation?
You might be able to make it happen. If you're the parent, there is more to consider.
Taking it slow and cautiously might be the way, unless the two (or three, or...?) of you can't hold back. Sometimes, the ice just needs breaking.
Stepsiblings, stepparents, and stepchildren might want to read this.
Are you considering coming out as consanguinamorous?
A message for family and friends.
How To Be An Ally to Consanguinamorous People You Know
Are you considering, or involved in, a situation that isn't monogamous?
Read exclusive interviews with close relatives who are involved in everything from spousal-style relationships to family-with-benefits arrangements.
If you've already shared sexual affection and are trying to sort everything out, this might help.
If you can't be together geographically, you might be able to make the most of the distance.
Tuesday, December 27, 2022
No Time For Bigots
Monday, December 26, 2022
Living Consanguinamorously - Dating Outside the Family
"Is it cheating to keep or start being with my relative while dating people outside the family?"
Friday, December 16, 2022
Marriage Doesn't Have to be Monogamous
More and more people are questioning whether the polygamous freedom to marry should continue to be denied anywhere. At the forum community.babycentre.co.uk, MonaVanderwaal asked...
Should marrying more than one person be allowed in the UK?Yes!
At the moment it is a crime punishable for up to seven years in prison.
Do you think it is an outdated law?It's a ridiculous and unjust law.
If three+ people could prove they are happy in the arrangement, would this change your mind?Visibility is important, but this is a basic matter of freedom of association. People have a fundamental right to marry. Some people are polyamorous or otherwise want more than one spouse. If all are consenting adults, there's no good reason to deny them their rights. You don't need to be aware of the polyamorous people around you who are in happy, long-term relationships to understand that all adults should have their rights.
Let's look at a few of the responses.
Tuesday, December 13, 2022
Navigating the Holiday Season
If you might be getting together with family for Hanukkah, Winder Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve/Day, or any other holiday coming up, you might be facing specific decisions and considerations, especially if you're in an interracial relationship or an age gap relationship, or are LGBTQ+, nonmonogamous, consanguinamorous, or are exploring/living out kinks and certain dynamics:
- Avoiding hostile people
- Keeping closeted
- Coming out
- Making a move
As far as making a move, if there is a person or people likely to be there you want to "get closer to," whether relatives or family friends, plan ahead for the possibilities. Will there be a way to get them alone? Would it be good to get things in motion ahead of time through texts, messages, video chats, calls, etc.? Or do you want to wait until you're face to face to get things in motion or back into motion, as the situation might be.
Plan ahead and make the most of the season. What that means is up to you. For some of you, it will be making plans with friends and "found family" or your partner(s) and their families. Others will make the most of their opportunities by going "home." Plans can change, and that's fine. But do consider what you might want to do.
You can also comment with your thoughts, plans, or past experiences below.
Wednesday, December 7, 2022
Completing a Special Puzzle
The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her partner, or simply to be with her partner as a couple without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults who aren’t hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including where they live, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love, and might be persecuted severely in addition.
Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say about the love they share with each other. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?
Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?
*****
FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.
Anonymous: I'm a high school math teacher in a suburb of an American major metropolitan area. I'm in my early forties. I'm average height for a woman. I could lose a little weight but my man says I'm perfect the way I am. My family roots are Jewish, by way of Europe. I like gardening and puzzles of different kinds, like jigsaw and Rubik's cube types. I have one brother.
Friday, December 2, 2022
Answering Arguments Against Polyamory
People who insist monogamy is the only acceptable relationship model, or that polyamorists should not have the same rights for their relationships as monogamists, almost always cite a few often-repeated reasons as to why. If you're polyamorous, you’ve probably heard most of these reasons, whether from coworkers, family, or complete strangers. Although I’m going to focus on polyamorous relationships, most of these are also applicable to open relationships, swinging, swapping, nonmonogamous sex, and ethical nonmonogamy in general whether the people involved identify as polyamorous or not.
Thursday, December 1, 2022
World AIDS Day
It is very important to remember those we've lost to AIDS, to care for anyone battling AIDS, and to care for anyone with HIV.
We must continue to work for a cure, an inoculation, and continue to fight the spread of HIV.
We should also never forget that stigmas, ignorance, bigotry, sex-negative attitudes and shaming helped spread HIV and AIDS.Let's continue to work for a better culture in which people aren't shamed and marginalized for their sexuality, nor discriminated against or stigmatized for getting HIV or getting sick.
Wednesday, November 30, 2022
A Change of Heart Into Becoming An Ally
Someone grows as they go through life and they realize they now have more understanding and more compassion when it comes to who other people are and who those people love.
An example was expressed in this comment:
I'm a friend who reacted badly because I liked the guy and found out about him and his niece. That was ages ago. I understand now but I don't know how to repair that friendship. Any thoughts?
I'd go see the guy in-person, if possible. Ask him when and where you can meet him "because I owe you an apology." You two should either meet alone or with his niece; nobody else should be along. For everyone's comfort, it should be somewhere "public" but where you can get out of earshot of other people.
Get to it as soon as you can. Say something along the lines of: "I owe you an apology for how I reacted. I did some thinking, and I realized that you both have the right to choose who you're with. If you can forgive me and accept my apology, I'm here for you."
That is vague enough that if someone is somehow listening in, there's nothing that incriminates them.
Don't make promises you're not going to keep, like telling them they can talk to you about their relationship or act like an affectionate couple around you if you can't handle that.
Do tell them you won't out them to anyone, and be sure you don't.
If it isn't possible to see him/them in person, then do it by phone call or video chat; some way that will feel sincere and they can hear your tone. But again, while making it clear you are apologizing and you are now supportive, be vague enough with your choice of words so that if someone is overhearing it you are not incriminating them or getting them to incriminate themselves.
Please let us know how it goes.
You might want to to read this:
How to Be An Ally to Consaguinamorous People You Know
Saturday, November 26, 2022
Coping With Being Outed as Consanguinamorous
In some places, consanguinamory is still criminalized. There are not yet any protections against discrimination (such as in employment or housing), and some people have an irrational hatred against consanguinamorists, to the point of being violent and even murderous against consangs.
So being outed against your will can be a very big deal.
It's best not to be outed against your consent in the first place, so see here and here and here, and discuss with your consanguinamory partner(s) what you'd do if you were outed. In some situations, you might want to Press the Red Button.
One of the significant problems with ignorance around consanguinamory is the false "guilt by association" in which loving relationships are equated with assault and child abuse. It is so irrational that if, for example, two middle-aged siblings are together, some bigots will accuse of them of abusing children. It is senseless, but it happens.
The bottom line in some cases, you might need to:
Deny/remain silent.
Remove your online/social media presence (other than burner accounts) or set everything to private. Don't allow tagging, location info, and block as much as needed.
Change your name.
Relocate to where people don't know you; let as few people know where you've gone as possible.
Let's consider what might happen.
Wednesday, November 23, 2022
NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #11
“It will be a legal/paperwork nightmare as our system is set up for couples.” That’s what the bigots said about same-gender marriage and the Americans With Disabilities Act and just about any civil rights laws. Of course it is easier for those who already have what they want to keep things as they are. But what about all of the people who are denied their rights?
Adopting the polygamous freedom to marry under full marriage equality will take much less adjustment than adopting the Americans With Disabilities Act, the Violence Against Women Act and many other laws necessary to for equal protection and civil rights. Contract and business law already provides adaptable examples of how law can accommodate configurations involving three or more people, including when someone joins an existing relationship or leaves a relationship.
There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html
Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10
Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #12
Tuesday, November 22, 2022
Polyamory Day is November 23
There is much diversity in polyamory. The uniting factors to polyamory include that it is ongoing nonmonogamy and not cheating.
It has been great to see awareness and acceptance of polyamory grow in recent years. Let's continue to make progress!
As always, comments are welcome below. Are you celebrating? If so, how?
Monday, November 21, 2022
Planning For the Holidays
If you might be getting together with family for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Winder Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve/Day, or any other holiday coming up, you might be facing specific decisions and considerations, especially if you're in an interracial relationship or an age gap relationship, or are LGBTQ+, nonmonogamous, consanguinamorous, or are exploring/living out kinks and certain dynamics:
- Avoiding hostile people
- Keeping closeted
- Coming out
- Making a move
As far as making a move, if there is a person or people likely to be there you want to "get closer to," whether relatives or family friends, plan ahead for the possibilities. Will there be a way to get them alone? Would it be good to get things in motion ahead of time through texts, messages, video chats, calls, etc.? Or do you want to wait until you're face to face to get things in motion or back into motion, as the situation might be.
Plan ahead and make the most of the season. What that means is up to you. For some of you, it will be making plans with friends and "found family" or your partner(s) and their families. Others will make the most of their opportunities by going "home." Plans can change, and that's fine. But do consider what you might want to do.
You can also comment with your thoughts, plans, or past experiences below.
Saturday, November 19, 2022
Transgender Day of Remembrance - Sunday November 20
For all transgender people reading this:
We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.
We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.
Thursday, November 17, 2022
How Nonmonogamous People Can Avoid Trouble
Believe it or not, there are still criminal laws in many places criminalizing consensual sex and relationships between adults.
It doesn't matter to them how loving, happy, and lasting the relationships are. It apparently doesn't matter to the people interfering that every dollar or minute they spend trying to stop consenting adults from loving each other is a dollar or minute that could instead go into protecting people, especially children, against predators.
In addition to the persecution and prosecution of consanguinamorous people, polyamorists, polygamists, and other ethical nonmonogamists can face discrimination and even prosecution.
Tuesday, November 15, 2022
Respect For Marriage Act
Our laws should ensure that an adult is free to marry any and all consenting adults, and have their marriages respected under the law, in courts, by schools, in hospitals, by insurance agencies, and so forth. This should be the case in every state, county, and city.
Ideally, we would adopt a Marriage Equality Amendment that supports diversity, equity, and inclusion.
There is no good reason to deny an adult, who is capable of consent, regardless of their age, race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or any other personal characteristic, their rights to consent to relationships, love, sex, kink, residence, or marriage with any and all consenting adults.
Let's support full marriage equality.
Monday, November 14, 2022
Transgender Awareness Week 2022
We oppose discrimination against them. We support them having their rights, including their right to marry or to otherwise have the relationships to which they mutually agree.
Oppose bigotry. Support rights.
Friday, November 11, 2022
Veterans Day
Recent years have brought progress, and we have to fight to keep what we've gained while still looking for more progress. Problematic laws and policies remain, and, of course, LGBTQ+ people, the nonmonogamous and polyamorous, and consanguinamorous still endure the the threat of prosecution, persecution, or discrimination.
Shouldn’t someone who risked their life for this country be able to marry more than one person, or a biological relative? Or at least share a life with the person(s) they love without a fear that their own government will be against them? Is bravery and valor negated if a man loves more than one woman, or his long lost sister? Shouldn’t a woman who served be free to marry both of the women she loves?
Let’s thank our veterans, some of whom were drafted into service, especially those who are still being treated as second class citizens.
Tuesday, November 8, 2022
Intersex Day of Solidarity
Today, November 8, and every day, we stand in solidarity with intersex people.
It’s Intersex Day of Solidarity.
Our bodies, genders, orientations, and relationships are diverse. Every person should be free to be themselves and to share love, sex, and relationships if and as mutually agreed with others. This includes intersex people.
Intersex people are not broken. We stand against discrimination against, and persecution of, our intersex friends, family, and neighbors.
Monday, November 7, 2022
Last Minute Reminder for Americans: Vote
Please vote, if possible, for candidates who support full marriage equality and general relationship rights for all.
Today, Tuesday, November 8, is IT.
Either go vote in person, if your location allows that, or drop off your completed ballot at your local elections office or designated collection sites.
Make your voice heard!
Was There a History or a Missed Opportunity?
My little sister and I got along great as kids. We played together a lot, and even when we made new friends and grew different interests, we promised to always have each other's backs.In high school, I befriended and eventually started dating a girl my family adored, my sister included. After nine years, we have finally become engaged, but now my sister has grown hostile toward us. She never hinted that she disliked my fiancee before, and nobody in our family can get a reason from her.
There are multiple possibilities. One is that his sister liked things the way they were, as they'd been going on for almost a decade; the engagement and planning for a married life means things will change, and she doesn't want them to change. Marriage legally makes the spouses next-of-kin. Until he's married, his parents and sister are his legal next-of-kin.
A possibility that can't help but come to mind on this blog is that the siblings have a history of intimacy and affection that this newer relationship ended, with a wedding likely to close the door entirely. Maybe the letter writer's emotions from those times were not as deep as his sister's? Maybe he saw it as just youthful experimentation and play, while she saw it, and still does, as more?
Maybe the sister has wanted to have more intimacy and affection with her brother, meaning the siblings have had a missed opportunity. That would definitely make sense out of her not telling anyone why she is "hostile."
It's possible the bride-to-be said something negative to the sister after the proposal, especially about how close sister and brother had been, and how that will never be the case again.
Whatever is the case, hopefully things will work out for the best.
Dear Abby advised that the brother talk with his sister one-on-one. That's a very good idea. But what if his sister confesses a strong consanguinamorous attraction to him? He should be prepared for that, as well as hearing some unpleasant observations about his intended.
In general, anyone who is going to legally marry should have discussed with their future spouse what the rules of the relationship are and will be about flirting, sex, romance, and general socialization with others, especially if they want the rules to be different than they've been for the many years they've already been together.
Friday, November 4, 2022
Ethical Nonmonogamy is Not Cheating
Ethical nonmonogamy is not cheating. (ENM may also be known as “consensual nonmonogamy” or “disclosed nonmonogamy.”)
For example, Mark and Jenny are swingers. Their agreement is that they will only be with others when they are both present. Anything more than a hug or kiss on the cheek with someone else, or revealing genitals to someone else in a social context, when they are not together, is a no. They attend parties together and have sex with others there; that's not cheating. But while Jenny is out of town on business, Mark picks up a woman at a bar and she gives him oral sex. Under the agreement he has with Jenny, this is cheating. Other swingers have different rules.
Some people have open relationships/marriages and a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, meaning the partners can be with others and won't ask or tell each other about who or what or when, often with certain conditions such as using protection and having STI tests. If you're not communicating with a potential partner's other partner(s), you can't be sure that being with you wouldn't involve your potential new partner cheating. Ultimately, though, at some point you just have to trust what someone tells you because establishing an absolute negative is extremely difficult. How can you be sure they don't have an agreement with some other person out there that would be breached with whatever you're doing? You can't. You can only be sure that you're not cheating on someone.*
Ethical nonmonogamy can take many forms, from lifelong spousal triads and quads (polyamory) to couples swapping to swinging to open marriages to couples engaging in the occasional casual threesome to someone living alone but having casual hookups. Informed consent is the core of all of this. While ENM is not cheating, people who profess or attempt to maintain ENM might cheat, just like monogamists might cheat. If there is a closed triad and someone in the triad has a secret lover on the side contrary to the agreement with the two others in the triad, that's cheating. "Fluid bonding" is a term used in polyamorous circles. Someone might only have unprotected sex with one person, and protected sex with others. Going without protection would be a form of cheating.
One should never assume that someone who is married or at least coupled isn't available, although one can certainly decide they don't want to be with someone who is married or coupled. That's each person's decision to make. Just because someone is married or has a partner doesn't automatically mean they aren't available for romance or sexual affection or some other social activities (meals together, going to the theatre).
While one may decide that kissing someone else is cheating and a deal breaker for their relationship, not all cheating has the same implications and risks.
Tuesday, November 1, 2022
Don't Like It? You Don't Have to Do It
Let's consider this statement closely.
I definitely believe it is disgusting and wrong for a father and daughter to have a sexual relationship.
What would make it wrong for two (or more) individuals, who aren't cheating, who are capable of consenting, to consent to sex? Is sex itself wrong? Or do you believe that it is only right to have sex under certain conditions in addition to consent and being free to take on a new partner? What would those conditions be? Regardless, your claim that it is wrong shouldn't have power over the rights of anyone else.
I thought it was illegal in most states no matter if it is consensual or not.
Unconstitutional laws do still remain on the books that criminalize this in 48 states. That means in two states, there is no such law. What is your objection in those two states? Or the many countries with no ridiculous laws.to that effect?
I can’t imagine doing that.
Then don't. Nobody is saying you have to.
I can't imagine running a marathon. Does that mean nobody else should be free to do so?
The fact is, human sexuality and relationships are diverse. Not everyone is going to want the same things. And that's OK! There is no good reason to try to deny people the relationships to which they've mutually agreed.
There are women who have been consanguinamorous with their genetic fathers. Some have been together until their father's death, in a loving relationship with no regrets (other than not starting sooner). Why should they be denied their rights just because someone else doesn't like their love? There's no good reason.
We need to support relationship rights for all, and full marriage equality.
Monday, October 31, 2022
Does Swapping or Swinging Ruin Marriage?
Swinging and swapping, which both forms of ethical nonmonogamy, are not the same thing. Swinging generally means that people in an established relationship get together at parties or events with multiple other couples, triads, etc. and individuals for the specific purpose of having sex, usually sex that is no-strings-attached. That sex may include many different people. Swapping usually means a couple gets together with another couple or two and they switch partners. It could be a one-time thing or an ongoing thing or something between that, and it could happen in the same room or isolated from each other.
A great answer to the question raised in the title of this entry was provided on Quora by Franklin Veaux...
Studies conducted of people in the swing community generally show that swingers have higher than baseline levels of marital happiness.
Swingers: Mentally Healthier Than Monogamous Peers…when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they [swingers] are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general population. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers' marriages happier, and swingers rate the happiness of their marriages and life satisfaction generally as higher than the non-swinging population. Implications of the study and its limitations are also included.
The Case of Swingers. EJHS 2000New Study Shows Swingers are More Likely to Stay MarriedStudy: Investigation of Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships: Theories, Methods, and New Directions
Friday, October 28, 2022
Happy Halloween!
Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you done or will you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?
Whatever you do, please be careful and stay safe!
Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. In typical years, there are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.
Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.
For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.
Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies. Maybe you'll be home with family or other loved ones, watching something good or playing some fun games?
So, as always, feel free to comment or share your plans or stories, including from years past. You can comment anonymously below.
Tuesday, October 25, 2022
Stop Dragon Your Hate Around
TW/CW!!!
How many times does it need to be said?
Consensual incest (consanguinamory) and abuse are two very different things.
It is terrible that anybody was abused by a close relative. But abuse by a close relative doesn't make CONSENSUAL affection between close relatives wrong any more than rape by a stranger makes sex with a blind date wrong.
From the article at Cosmopolitan.com...
There’s nothing morally okay about inter-family sex, no matter how hot the actors and how palpable the chemistry.
On the contrary, there is nothing wrong with it. Consenting adults should be free to chose their lovers.
And yet, week after week since August 21, fans have rooted—nay, thirsted—for Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen on House of the Dragon, and I, dear reader, am one of them.
Yes, it is one of those situations. "I'm turned on by the idea but I think real people who actually love each other should be denied their rights and stigmatized!"
When they finally had sex (as consenting adults), fans ate it up.
Good. But don't turn around the throw real people under the bus.
So even though IRL, incest is wrong (“Children resulting from an incestual relationship can sometimes suffer from congenital anomalies when blending familial genetics,” says Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist in Los Angeles. “This is one of the primary reasons that incest is a taboo to begin with.”
This, apart from the fact that when it does happen, it is often a result of sexual abuse.)
That is literally the same sort of crap bigots say about people being gay. Most people who were abused in the past still CHOOSE their CONSENSUAL lovers later.
Kinky fantasies are also at play here. It’s okay to be turned on by something (be it in porn, on your favorite Netflix show, or in your own private mental playground) that you’d never actually do IRL. That’s why they’re called fantasies. Everyone has them, and shows like House of the Dragon give people an outlet for safe exploration.
Many people want to engage in consanguineous sex.
None of that is wrong in and of itself.
There are people everywhere who are in ongoing, loving, romantic relationships with one more more close relatives. You might even know and admire some without knowing of their relation. Stop separating people out to be the targets of prejudice and other forms of hate. Let's defend the rights of ALL to their sexuality and relationships.
Monday, October 24, 2022
We Support Our Ace and Intersex Friends and Neighbors
Asexual Awareness Week is THIS WEEK, October 23 through October 29. It's an international campaign to educate about asexual, aromantic, demisexual and grey-sexual identities and experiences. You are welcome here! Nobody should be discriminated against or be denied their rights for having these identities.
Intersex Awareness Day is Wednesday, October 26. Intersex people should not be discriminated against or denied their rights, nor forced into narrow gender roles imposed by someone else. You are welcome here!
Humans are diverse. We have diversity in our bodies, in our identities, in our attractions, and in our relationships.
Kindness and respect go a long way. Let people be who they are. Bullying, harassment, and discrimination spread hate. Spread love instead. Let's support each other and stand up for the rights of all.
Saturday, October 22, 2022
NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10
“Polyamory/polygamy spreads sexually transmitted infections.” Unprotected sex with someone who is infected is how such infections may be transmitted. Twenty people could have group sex and a group marriage for fifty years and if none of them brings an infection into the marriage and they only have sex with each other, none of them will get a sexually transmitted infection.
We do not deny people their freedom to marry based on which diseases they have. In most places, people can legally have sex with multiple partners anyway. Polyfidelity can be encouraged if polygamy is legalized and polyamory is no longer stigmatized, which would actually reduce disease transmission. Polyamorous people tend to be more careful about prevention, safer sex, and actually talking about the issues involved.
There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.
Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html
Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #9
Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #11
Thursday, October 20, 2022
Frequently Asked Question: Is This Incest?
Is this incest?
Is it incest to date my in-law?
Is it incest to date my adopted sister?
Is it incest to date my adopted brother?
Is it incest to date my stepbrother?
Is it incest to date my stepsister?
Is it incest to date my uncle?
Is it incest to date my aunt?
Is it incest to date my cousin?
Is it incest to kiss my brother?
Is it incest to kiss my sister?
It it incest if my sibling and I have masturbated in front of each other?
The subtext is usually, “Is it wrong?”
First of all, regardless of laws, I see nothing wrong with any kind of physical affection, contact, or companionship between any consenting adults or minors who are close in age, as long as existing vows to others are not being violated. This includes dating, literally sleeping together, seeing each other nude, hand-holding, hugging, kissing (of any sort,) contact with genitals, intercourse, living together, marrying, etc. If these people are right for each other and want this with each other, then it shouldn’t be anyone else’s place to object.
As I always point out, I’m writing about consensual experimentation, exploration, affection, making out, sex, love, dating, partnering, living together, and marriage. I’m not talking about assault, molestation, abuse, or coercion. If someone forces themselves on you, that is wrong regardless of their relation to you.
What is incest? That depends on who you ask. The definition I once found at Wikipedia was…
Tuesday, October 18, 2022
"If You Have Sex With An Adopted Or Illegitimate Sibling..."
Since an "adopted sibling" could mean, among other things, 1) a biological sibling who was adopted by other parents; 2) a non-biological sibling adopted by your parents, I addressed both of those situations in my answer.
If people are siblings by birth...
If people are siblings by adoption...
If they are stepsiblings because their parents married...
If they are genetic siblings but raised apart...
If they aren't related by law or genetics but grew up together...
...and they mutually consent to sex with each other, that shouldn't be something to be negatively labeled, shamed, discriminated against, or criminalized.
Siblings have been having sex for as long as there have been siblings, anywhere there have been siblings, regardless of class. There are siblings doing it right now, not far from wherever you are. Some have done it for recreation, some have done it to learn, some have done it for passion, some have done it for love, some have have it because they are living as spouses, some have done it for other reasons. It is their right and they shouldn't have to hide. There is no good reason to deny them their rights.