The Secret of Siblings

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. 

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face persecution and prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally and publicly marry his lover, or simply be with her without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for loving each other this way, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say about the love they share. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label? 

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

THIS INTERVIEW REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF THE INTERVIEWEE.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or on Wire messaging app at fullmarriageequality, X/Twitter at FullMEquality, or Facebook. I usually check for private/direct messages and respond in less than a day, so if I don't it might mean your message didn't get delivered.

If you know someone who is in a relationship that's anything like this, or "taboo" or "forbidden," please read this.

More on Consanguineous Marriage and Parenting

Hank Pellissier asked if cousins should be denied their right to marry. The answer, of course, is... no! Pellissier, however, wants to strongly discourage cousins from having children together. Still, his article does contain some interesting information.

Six Legs? A baby boy - Umar Farooq - was born with six legs in April, 2012, in southeastern Pakistan.  International press noted that the boy’s parents were cousins, a common occurrence in Pakistan, where 70% of the marriage are “consanguineous.” Was the deformity caused by genetically-similar commingling?

Probably not. Polymelia (a rare genetic disease) was suspected at first, but eventually the extra limbs were blamed on an undeveloped “conjoined (Siamese) twin.”  The reasons for conjoining are unknown.

Eyebrows were already raised around the world, though. Tongues wagged, netizens clucked.

People love to talk out of ignorance.

A recent book, Consanguinity in Context, by Alan H. Bittles, a medical geneticist at Murdoch University and the Centre for Comparative Genomes in Australia, has dismissed the hazard potential as inconsequential. Bittles claims the rate only elevates from 2-3% to 4-6% if parents are first cousins. A Saudi Arabian report also claims an elevation rise from merely 1.7 to 2.8%, and the London-based Human Genetics Commission claims the risk “rises to about six in every 100 births, i.e. double the risk.” 

"Double" is a "100% increase" and that sounds scary until you realize that the stats mean 94 out of a hundred children conceived by cousin couples will have no problem.

Ethiopia appears the most prohibitive: it bans marriage between relatives out to 6th cousins. South Korea bans out to 3rd cousins; Taiwan and The Philippines ban first cousins, as does China, ever since it’s 1981 Marriage Act. In the USA, 31 of the 50 states ban first cousin marriage. In Europe and South America, consanguinity generally isn’t banned, but it is rarely practiced. Europe’s rate is generally less than 1%, and Brazil’s is presently 1.1%.

Ethiopia has more important things to worry about than whether distant cousins have the hots for each other.

Robin Fox of Rutgers ventures that, throughout history, approximately 80% of all marriages have been to first or second cousins. In the West, Charles Darwin married his cousin (Emma), so did Edgar Allan Poe (Virgina), Albert Einstein (Elsa), Queen Victoria (Albert), Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Eleanor), and H. G. Wells (Maria).

Cousin couples are part of an impressive legacy. I support relationship right and reproductive rights, and cousins should not be denied their right to marry or their reproductive rights.

Consanguineous Marriages Are Very Common in Some Cultures

Ammarah Fayyaz, Director Human Resource, MSF Pakistan, writes about how common consanguineous marriages are, and is a little concerned...

The consanguineous marriage has it well developed historical background and is especially prevalent in Asia and Middle East. There have been special reason for it in the past but now they seem to be less important i.e. the perseverance of wealth, the low education status of the mother, traditions, vows of the elderly, family structure and fear of losing the money on wedding the daughter.  In present times, the only thing that has come to light after studying the different population groups of Asia is that People don’t want to marry out of the caste as it, according to them will cause them lose their social status. Sometimes people also fear the external people about their habits and good reputation thus they marry their girls in the family always.

The very close marriages i.e. parents with children and brother with sister are not allowed in any religion, consanguineous marriages have been prohibited in some cultures and allowed in some but In Islam, there is obviously no such restriction because The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also married his cousin, Zainab Bint-e-Jahash.

Sometimes the Pakistanis settled in other countries like England and America are more prone to the consanguineous marriages because of the immigration policies of these countries. Some presume that local Muslim community there is so small and the people have no way out except for marrying the same generation women.

So the leaders in Asia must address this. The health education can be of immense help. Most important time of learning about these issues is while adolescence, so the school programs and event must be organized. Teachers must tell the students importance of preventing consanguineous marriages. Parents must avoid the close association of their children with sister, brother or cousins during the adolescence.

And if ever people have to marry their cousins, they must have pre-marriage genetic counseling or counseling when the marriage has been consummated.

Racist jokes ignored, does anyone see a health problem in these communities? Siblings and cousins experiment. Some go on to do more, some to be together as life partners. People need to get over it and  worry about their own lives.

Congratulations to Haideri, Aslam, and Qasim

In Pakistan, a man is marring the woman his family picked for him, and another woman with whom he has already fallen in love. Polygyny is not uncommon in Pakistan, but having the weddings so close together is: two weddings in two days.

Azhar Haideri, a 23-year-old herbal medicine practitioner, wanted to marry his maternal cousin Romana Aslam and their engagement was organised a year ago. However, the final rituals were not conducted at that time because his parents wanted his paternal cousin, Humera Qasim, to become their daughter-in-law.

After almost a year of persuasion, it was decided by the elders of the family that “he will have to marry both”, local media reports said.

Haideri, a resident of Multan city in Punjab province, had no option but to go for it to be able to unite with his first love, Romana.

And what do the brides say about this?

Both the women say they think the compromise is a good one and they plan to live as sisters and friends, it was reported.

Congratulations to all!