Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Facebook, OKCupid, and the Dilemma of Online Services

There have been grumblings in certain circles about OKCupid instituting or enforcing a policy for real names, instead of screen names, to be used. Facebook has taken steps to try to prevent people from using pseudonyms or screen names as their account names. This sort of thing has been an issue with other services.

These services have their reasons, such as collecting demographic information and advertising revenue, and also to try to prevent spammers, scammers, stalkers, bullies, and others with ill intent.

The problem, though, is that many people who don't fit the narrow, vanilla, cisgender, heterosexual, professing monogamist mold often rely on reaching out to others anonymously or with some level of privacy. That's because they face discrimination. Depending on where they are, they may be subject to everything from shunning and disowning by family, loss of employment, loss of housing, harassment and bulling, criminal prosecution, even violence, including to the point of death.

Gender, sexuality, and relationship diversities are harmless, but there are prejudiced people who want to do harm to people based on their gender, their sexual orientation, their relationships, their kinks, or their fetishes.

In a perfect world, everyone could be open and out about who they are and what they like, but we don't live in that world right now, so some people look to connect for networking, friendship, love, or more through these online services, while avoiding the bigoted judgment of their employer, parent, neighbor, or the threat of a stalking ex or rebuffed interest. The harder it is for people to reach out with popular services, they more they will be drawn to alternatives.

Have you had to deal with this problem? You are welcome here and you can comment anonymously below. or use a screen name. You an also private message me at Facebook and I will not share what you tell me. Fortunately, there are a forums for LGBTQ people, the ethically nonmonogamous, people with fetishes and kinks, and for the consanguinamorous.
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Saturday, December 23, 2017

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (belated), Yuletide Greetings, Solstice Salutations, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!

Whatever holidays you celebrate(d), or even if you don't celebrate any, We wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.

May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.

I plan to update this blog as I can over the holidays, so keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe in the column over there on the right if you haven't done so yet.
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Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Submitted - The Double Loves Series: Eddie and Jocelyn

Here's something different for this blog. Someone has submitted a short story. Yes, we do take submissions, including fiction, whether text or cartoons or illustrations. Nonfiction such as "confessions," commentaries, reports, and case study updates are also welcome, as long as they deal with the topics of this blog, support equality, and are SAFE FOR WORK. If you want to submit anything, you can email to the address fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. Once you send us something, whether it is used on the blog is entirely up to us and there will be no material compensation. We are willing to give you credit and link to anywhere you want us to link.


The Double Loves Series:  Eddie and Jocelyn
By Martin Witt

18 year old Edward Paul Shepherd left his small hometown of Corinth and was on his way to his freshmen year of college.  His heart was racing with excitement as he flipped on the turn signals to take the exit off the interstate.  Eddie, as friends and family called him, pulled up to the intersection and looked both ways.  In his eagerness to get this new phase of his life going he miscalculated the speed and distance of the traffic coming towards him.  He pulled out and tried to accelerate ahead of the cars closing in on him.  Unfortunately he couldn’t.  There was a crash.   Eddie was critically injured and the other driver died at the scene.

Eddie’s new phase of life was not what he expected.  He was in the hospital for several weeks, with doctors not sure if he’d survive.  The young man was strong however, and he did survive.  Several months in a rehabilitation center gave him the ability to have a reasonable quality of life.  Eddie’s college career finally got started, but he didn’t find it as exciting as he once did. 

While Eddie was physically healed, the guilt he felt for causing the death of another person stayed with him for a long time.  Eddie saw a therapist in hopes of dealing with his emotional trauma.  He didn’t find it beneficial.  Finally, however, Eddie’s therapist suggested he make apologies to the widow of the man who died in the accident. Eddie wasn’t sure he could, but it felt like something he had to do. 

More than a year and a half after the accident Eddie found himself at a modest homelocated on Thebes Street.  It belonged to the late Mr. Laurence King whose death Eddiefelt responsible.  The door opened and there stood the widow, Mrs. Jocelyn King.  Eddie introduced himself and explained why he’d come.  He fully expected Mrs. King to slam the door in his face.   Instead, however, she was kind and welcomed Eddie inside.

Jocelyn heard what Eddie had to say.  She felt his sincerity and accepted his apology.  Eddie felt an immense load taken off his shoulders.  Jocelyn told Eddie that she appreciated his visit, but he was young and still had his entire life ahead.  She told him to let go of the guilt he and move on with his life.  Eddie promised he would.

As Eddie prepared to leave Jocelyn welcomed him to visit her anytime he wanted.  When Eddie left the yard Jocelyn was certain she’d never see him again.  She was wrong.  Eddie did visit, and he visited often.  At first Eddie’s visits were merely to help with simple chores and tasks since Jocelyn had no children of her own.  Jocelyn assumed the young man was working off his guilt.  Before long, however, Eddie’s visits grew beyond chores and conscience clearing.

Though Jocelyn was his senior by at least 20 years, Eddie found her attractive.  Their difference in age began to matter less and less.  Jocelyn realized that the boy was becoming attracted to her.  She feared it was going to lead nowhere good, but Jocelyn felt unable to send her young suitor away.  What woman would not enjoy the attentions of a good looking young man? 

Time passed.  Eddie and Jocelyn grew closer.  Their love became undeniable, though both tried to resist what was happening.  One night when all the stars were in perfect alignment Eddie and Jocelyn found themselves in bed.  Though it was Eddie’s first time Jocelyn found his lovemaking skills more than adequate.

As Jocelyn enjoyed every bit of pleasure that Eddie’s body, youth and stamina offered her, she floated back to the day he showed up at her doorstep.  She thought of every time he visited after that.  Jocelyn remembered watching the young man mow her lawn shirtless and the reactions it caused in her body.  She remembered every compliment he gave her regarding her appearance.  Those compliments inspired Jocelyn to fix herself up a bit so to net more of the boy’s attentions.  Looking back, Jocelyn should have seen all this coming.  She was in love.  It was unexpected, but an amazing love to be sure.

Eddie’s mind was racing to process everything that was happening.  Making love to Jocelyn snapped the last chain of guilt that bound him.  He had let go and was moving into a new phase of his life.  It was unexpected, but an amazing phase to be sure.  He was in love with the most beautiful and kind woman he’d ever known.  His life was perfect. 

The weekend that followed Eddie’s college graduation saw him and Jocelyn married.   No two people ever appeared more perfectly matched than Eddie and Jocelyn.  Their marriage was mythological to all who knew them.  Their love expanded exponentiallyover the years and their family grew.  Jocelyn gave Eddie four beautiful daughters.  The young father was very proud of his family.

One day Eddie received some tragic news.  While on their way to visit him, Eddie’sparents, Mr. and Mrs. Paul Shepherd, were murdered during a carjacking.  By coincidence it was at the same intersection where Eddie’s miscalculation killed Mr. King years prior.  Once the funerals and estate issues were settled, Eddie set out to find the persons who killed his parents.  He patiently worked with the police and investigators to leave no stone unturned.  It took a long time, but eventually the bandits were brought to justice.

Several items that belonged to his parents were recovered along with their car.  One of those items was a jewelry box.  It was precious to his mom and Eddie was glad to get it back.  While everything of any value was long gone, there was a secret compartment that contained a document.  It was a certificate of adoption.  Eddie had no idea.  He was filled with mixed emotions by the revelation.  He surmised that the purpose of his parents’ visit was the share that bit of information with him. 

Eddie tried to learn to live with the reality that the people he thought were his parents were not.  He found, however, that he could not live without knowing who his biological parents were and why they gave him up.  So Eddie set out to find them.  While Jocelyn urged him to move on, she supported his efforts.  The search led nowhere for Eddie until his eldest daughter, Antonia, suggested a DNA survey.  With no other avenues to pursue, Eddie and his family all submitted samples to a company called Delphi, a DNA history firm.  The results come back to reveal that Eddie and Jocelyn are more than husband and wife, but mother and son also.

The information was devastating to the entire family.  Eddie more than anything wanted to know how this happened at all since Jocelyn had no children prior to their marriage.  Jocelyn explained that before she and her first husband, Laurence, were married, he was a seminary student.  Laurence had hopes of becoming a minister.  While he and Jocelyn were still engaged, however, Jocelyn got pregnant.   The seminary’s Dean of Students, as if some all knowing oracle, advised Laurence to “get rid of 'it' or that ends your plans for a life as a minister.”  The impressionable young Laurence did as the Dean advised   When their son was born, they gave him up for adoption and never spoke of him again.

However, Laurence was never “right” after that.  It wasn’t long before the mental and emotional problems began to haunt him.  Surely guilt and some warped religious advice were responsible.  Laurence was convinced that his son was out to kill him.  A psychiatrist prescribed medication to keep Laurence functional, but he’d stopped taking it and was in a delirium on the day he crossed paths with Eddie at that intersection.

Eddie was angry beyond belief.  Killing his father and marrying his mother sounded like something from a Greek tragedy, yet it was his and his family’s reality.  There was no way to process this alone, but even more tragic was the fact that there was nowhere to turn for support.  This situation was no one’s fault, yet everyone involved would be held responsible in the eyes of a judgmental world.

Jocelyn considered killing herself.   Eddie wanted to gouge out his eyes as he could not bare to look at his family. However, inside them both rested a spark that could not be extinguished by any sort of peer, cultural or religious pressure.  Eddie and Jocelyn were in love.  It was not just as husband and wife, but as mother and son also.  It was a double love they shared.  Whether brought together by fate, the Divine or some strange mysterious workings of genetics, they were in love.  That double love was what countedand through whatever came that same double love would be their anchor and elixir.

It took a long time to resolve all the cognitive and social dissonances surrounding their consanguinamoreous relationship, but through the mysterious and nondiscriminatory powers of human love, Eddie P. King and his family did find a way to live happily ever after.

The End

It's an interesting update to classic mythology, no?

Please note, as this is a submission, I'm assuming it doesn't violate any copyrights.
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Monday, December 18, 2017

SPOILERS - Star Wars Can Still Advance Marriage Equality

You know the drill. If you haven't seen "Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi" yet and don't want any of it spoiled, just skip over this entry.

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Saturday, December 9, 2017

Consanguinamorous in Orientation

As we observe and research people and their experiences with consanguinamory, it is becoming clear that some people, more than others, are oriented towards consanguinamorous relationships. For more about this, see Jane's latest great essay.
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Monday, December 4, 2017

Lifelong Double Love

Our dear friend Jane has published a heartwarming interview by a woman who has found lifelong love in a consanguinamorous relationship. Read it here.
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