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Wednesday, September 30, 2020

How Has This Blog Helped You? How Can It?

Whether this is your first visit to this blog or you've visited countless times, I'd like to get a comment below (you can comment anonymously or not) or a message from you about how this blog has been of help to you, if it has.

Also, you can use the same method to ask questions you'd like answered, whether you want a private answer or want the answer posted on the blog. This blog is about helping people to be free to have the relationships to which they mutually agree and to be free to live out their gender identity, sexuality, and orientation. Questions that veer away from such matters probably won't get answered.

Depending on your situation, you might not think you have many places to go with your questions or to share what's happening in your life. That's one reason this blog is here and you may contact me.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Tell Your Story

Are you, or have you ever been, in a “forbidden” consensual relationship?

Is one of your parents, children, or other family members in such a relationship, or have they been?

Are you the adult child of such a relationship, whether you were a biological child, adopted, or stepchild?

If you can say "yes" to one or more of those questions, I’d like to interview you. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is/was very casual, is a serious lifelong relationship, or somewhere between.

What qualifies as “forbidden?” While most of my interviews printed on the blog so far have been with people in consanguinamorous (consensual incest) relationships, I’m also interested in any consensual adult relationships that are forbidden by law, custom, tradition, community, or family and/or is subject to discrimination. This includes, but isn’t necessarily limited to, relationships with someone who is from an older or younger (adult) generation, or from a different race; gay or lesbian relationships; open relationships or marriages, relationships that include swinging, swapping, group, or polyamorous relationships; polygamous relationships or marriages, plural marriages, polyandry, or polygyny; and relationships often perceived as incestuous, such as between cousins, or Genetic Sexual Attraction relationships, or being with a close blood, step, adoptive, or in-law relative.

I’d like to interview you and publish the interview on my blog, and I can do so while protecting your anonymity.


What you get in return:

1. Loads of cash. Well, no, not really. I don’t accept funding for this blog and I won’t pay for participation. Sorry. This blog is a labor of love in every sense of the word. Also, I want people who just want to sincerely share their experiences, not someone who is will sensationalize for cash.

2. The satisfaction of knowing you are making a difference in the lives of many people around the world. People are relieved to read of other experiences like their own, and those who wonder about these relationships come away a little more enlightened.

3. Being able to tell of your relationship and experiences to someone who supports your rights and respects you while still maintaining your privacy.

4. A link to a website or profile of yours, depending on privacy issues.

The best way to contact me is via email. Check the Get Connected tab at the top of the screen (web version) or write me a fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.
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Saturday, September 26, 2020

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #7


“What’s next?” “Where do we draw the line?” What's wrong with letting consenting adults have the freedom to love each other as they want and agree? Who has a problem with that? Rather than coming up with convoluted schemes for which groups of people will get which rights, why not support the rights of all adults? It’s really quite simple:

The right to marry or to personal consortium shall not be abridged or denied by the United States or any state on account of sex, gender, sexual orientation, ancestry, consanguinity, or number of participants.

(Adapt that to your country, province, etc.)


There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #6 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #8
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Thursday, September 24, 2020

When An Older Partner Struggles Emotionally

There's this "ideal" that's perpetrated by what I'd call the relationship police of a man and a woman of the same race, background, and age, or maybe with the man being a couple of years older, marrying, staying monogamous, staying sexually active with each other, raising their two joint children (the only children they ever have) together, then happily growing old together and dying within a few years of each other.

This does happen.

It is not the life story of most people, though. It isn't even necessarily what most people want for themselves.

Some people are gay.
Some people don't want to get married.
Some people don't want children or can't have them.
Some people want more children.
Some people prefer an older lover.
Some people prefer a younger lover.
Some people prefer someone of a different race.
Some people are polyamorous.
Some people have open marriages.
Some people get married more than once.
Some people are asexual.
Some people die well before reaching the average life expectancy.

The variations are almost endless.

Optimistically, the divorce rate for first marriages is as low as 30 percent. Additional marriages have a higher rate of divorce. Some people don't divorce, but their marriage is not a happy, functional one. Those are just the ones who make it to marriage. There are relationships that last for years, and might involve living together, major joint purchases, and children, but they have a breakup rate much higher than first marriages. And then there are the people struggling to even get a relationship going.

I don't write this to be depressing.

I write this to point out that if lovers...

1) are mutually attracted
2) treat each other right
3) don't have major goals in conflict and are otherwise broadly compatible

...they have hit paydirt. Paydirt isn't so easy to find.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Bisexual Visibility Day

Wednesday, September 23 is Bisexual Visibility Day


To all bisexuals, especially our friends and readers, we see you.

You are valid.

You should have your rights and freedoms.

You deserve representation.

You should not be pressured to be closeted or to hide.


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Monday, September 21, 2020

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #6


“Your relationship will hurt children.” This is usually said by people who themselves hurt children by denying rights to the parents of those children and telling the children that their parents are wrong for loving each other, perpetuating a stigma about the children and their families.

Don’t want children of these relationships to be hurt? Then stop hurting their families.

Adults having a relationship with each other, adults reproducing together, and adults raising children together are three different things. Adults can do any one of those without doing the other two, or any two of those without doing the third. Or, to put it another way, we’re talking about sex, relationships, and marriage, not about reproduction or adoption or parenting. Most sex does not result in a birth.

We don’t deny people their right to be together because they can’t or won’t reproduce. We don’t deny people their right to be together because they won’t be good candidates for adoption. We don’t test people on their parenting skills before we allow them to marry, but if we did, a lot of the prejudiced people who want to deny rights to others would fail, while many people who are still fighting for their relationship rights would pass with flying colors.

So this reason to oppose equality already fails. But for the sake of argument let’s assume there will be children.

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Saturday, September 19, 2020

Frequently Asked Question: Can Siblings Marry?


The following is based on my understanding. I’m not at attorney and this should not be considered legal advice.

Can siblings marry?

I’m not aware of any government that will currently marry full-blood siblings or recognize a marriage of full-blood siblings; rather, if it was discovered by the authorities after an official marriage was formed that the spouses were, in fact, siblings, the marriage would be dissolved and considered invalid. If the spouses knew they were siblings when they married, they would be subject to prosecution. If they discovered the genetic relationship after getting married, they would have to file for an annulment or dissolution or risk prosecution.

Where sibling consanguinamory isn’t still banned by law, siblings can have a wedding ceremony and live the married life, although under discrimination, as their government will not recognize their marriage and they will not get treated equally.

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Friday, September 18, 2020

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #5


“It's not natural." Many people have been embarrassed by making this argument, because it is so easy to refute by a cursory survey of sexual, mating, and partnering habits of various animals. But invariably, the person saying that a relationship should not be allowed because they think it is unnatural constantly enjoys things that aren’t natural, from their smart phones to their toiletries to their food to their clothing to their transportation to their housing… on and on it goes. “Hey! You can’t ride a bicycle! It’s not natural!” See how ridiculous that is?

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #4

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #6 
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Monday, September 14, 2020

A Cruel Double Standard

I've considered adding another entry to the Discredited Arguments page, because I've heard and read people say that people in consanguinamorous relationships (or step or adoptive relationships that have gone romantic) don't need the freedom to marry because they're already family. In addition to being as senseless as telling a woman she can't marry her sister's husband's brother (which is legal and does happen) because they are already family, the statement can bring up a very cruel double standard.

In many situations involving Genetic Sexual Attraction, the lovers are not legally family for the purposes of insurance, benefits, taxes, hospital visitation, next of kin, etc. because they were adopted into or born into (via sperm, egg, or embryo donation) different families. Also, in many places, when a married woman gives birth, the child is legally her spouse's child as well. What if, due to sex with someone other than her spouse, the woman's child is genetically a half-sibling to another married couple's child, and as adults they decide they'd like to marry?

The double standard is that, while these genetically related people don't enjoy the benefits of being family, in places that still have ridiculous laws discriminating against consensual adult incest, they are considered family and thus can (and are) criminally prosecuted for consensual sex or at least denied their right to marry.

You're not family so you can't get the benefit of being family. You are family so you are going to be prosecuted for having loved each other in sexual way. That's cruel.

As an example, if something were to happen to Melissa and she ended up in a hospital, her adoptive parents could bar Matthew and Linda from even being by her side, let alone making decisions about her care, even though Matthew and Linda are, for practical purposes, her spouses. She would be married to them if she could, but the law isn't there yet.

Those who are sharing, or want to share their lives as spouses or partners often do need the same rights, benefits, and protections as any other spouses, and there’s no good reason to deny them their fundamental right to marry. Also, marriage automatically provides for next-of-kin status, which is especially important when there is some discord between at least one of the lovers and legal family members outside of the consanguinamorous relationship.

There are many cruel double standards when trying to tell other consenting adults how to love each other. GSA or not, consanguinamorous people need discriminatory laws to be done away with, and need access to the protections provided by marriage, if they want them. This is yet another reason we need full marriage equality sooner rather than later.
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Saturday, September 12, 2020

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #4


“My religion is against it.” If you don’t want an (adult) intergenerational, interracial, same-gender, polygamous, or consanguineous relationship or marriage, then don’t have one. But we should all have the freedoms of religion and association and in places like the US, we have separation of church and state, so this can’t be a justification for denying marriage equality or other relationships rights.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #3

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #5 
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Tuesday, September 8, 2020

A Cousin Considering Marriage Writes in to Dear Abby

A recent divorcee who is contemplating a new marriage possibility wrote as SECRET LOVE IN THE SOUTH to Dear Abby...

We bonded when he contacted me to offer support after he heard about my divorce, and it was love at "second" sight. Why "second"? Because we grew up together -- literally next door -- and he's my first cousin.

Despite the societal taboo, it is legal in my state for first cousins to marry, and genetic issues with offspring aren't a concern. We're both sterile and have no ability (or desire) for more children.

There's no reason why this should be a problem for anyone.

My siblings suspect and aren't pleased with the situation. His parents know and are happy for us.

There's no good reason for the siblings to have a problem with this.

How do we break it to the rest of the family? The world? People can be so judgmental, even though in many parts of the world it is perfectly normal to marry your cousin.

The rest of the family probably knows already. Since this wouldn't be a first marriage, perhaps it could be a smaller ceremony? Since there is no legal issue, I'd announce it in the same way you would if it was someone who isn't a close relative. If other people have a problem with it, then they don't have to come to the wedding, right? 

Abby advised slowing down a bit. Thankfully, she didn't express anticonsanguinamorous bigotry.

Of course there are some terrible comments from prejudiced bigots. It's a good thing this letter made the column, though. We need more representation of consanguinamory. Let consenting adults marry!

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Sunday, September 6, 2020

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #3


“Not a lot of people want to do it” or “I don’t want to do it.” This is not a justification for keeping something illegal. If anything, it is a reason laws against consensual adult relationships are wasteful and unnecessary. But we don’t deny minorities rights based on majority vote. Also, people would be surprised to know just how many people around them are in, or want to be in, or have been in, a relationship that is currently illegal or otherwise discriminated against.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html


Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #2

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #4
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Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Married in Their Hearts

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. As this interview is being published, there are still many people spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The couple interviewed below should be free 
to legallmarry, or simply to live together in any place in the world without having to hide, yet they can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love. Fortunately, they are not breaking the law in their country.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights, or be ostracized simply because they love each other this way?

Genetic Sexual Attraction is real, as we see time and time again. And if it brings people together, no law should interfere. Prejudice against their relationship for being "incest" is irrational and harmful.



*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourselves.

Lavinia: I'm 50 years-old, white, Brazilian born and raised in São Paulo. I graduated in Publicity. I work consulting in a reputable company in the field. I love cooking and I love Leo.

Leo: I’m 33 years old, Brazilian born and raised in São Paulo. I graduated in Business Administration, and currently working in my own company. You can say I'm successful.

I currently live in São Paulo with my wife, who is my birth mother.

Appearance can be a bit tricky because of the great ethnic mix of the country. Although my birth mother is white, I inherited the color of my father, which is olive or tan. I’m 185cm (6'1"), 80kg (176lb), brown hair, honey eyes. Despite the differences, I am quite similar to her and in the past some people came to ask if we were siblings.

I like to go hiking with my wife. Actually, I like anything with her. I like music, sports, video games, comics, books, movies. I love dogs and cats.


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Tuesday, September 1, 2020

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #2


“It goes against tradition.” So did the abolition of slavery. In reality, (adult) intergenerational, interracial marriages, same-gender marriages, polygamous or polyamorous marriages, and consanguineous marriages are nothing new. Some of these were entered into by prominent religious leaders and historical royalty. Regardless, a tradition of inequality is not a justification for continuing to deny equality.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #1

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #3 
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