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Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Adults Having Their Basic Rights Isn’t Child Abuse

When someone advocates for all adults to have the right to be with any and all consenting adults, or specifically for the rights of polyamorous or consanguineous adult lovers, someone who hasn't bothered to think it through or is being deliberately dishonest might respond with “So, you’re advocating for the abuse of children?”

If this is your response to someone advocating the rights of all CONSENTING ADULTS to be together, something is wrong with your reading comprehension. Adults are not children. Consenting means voluntary, not an abuse situation. Consenting adults being together has nothing to do with abusing children.

Trying, but failing, to avoid looking like ignorant bigots, they might try something like “Yeah but, if we allow polyamorous, polygamous, or plural marriages, or we allow incestuous relationships or marriages, doesn't that make it more likely children will be abused by normalizing it? Isn't the next step moving on to children?”

This is an attempt at guilt by false association. It is something LGBTQ+ people have been dealing with forever. “If you allow gay people to be together, it will make it easier to molest children!” It simply doesn’t follow. It’s a lie that most LGBTQ+ people want to abuse children, and it is likewise a lie that people who are ethically nonmonogamous or consanguinamorous want to abuse children. Child abusers are going to try to abuse children. Children will be more likely to be abused and to keep quiet about it the more taboo we keep sex in general.

There are places where consanguinamorous relationships between adults are not criminalized, including a couple of US states. This has not caused an increase in child abuse in these places.

When it comes to ethical nonmonogamy, citing a few isolated villages or compounds where women don’t have equal rights and children are treated as property as proof it leads to child abuse is dishonest. Children are abused by professing monogamists every day, while most parents involved in ethical, disclosed, or consensual nonmonogamy are great parents who are not abusing children in any way.

Keeping unjust discrimination in place is wasting resources vitally needed to prevent and stop actual abuse. It makes it less likely victims and witnesses of abuse will cooperate with authorities if their own relationships are criminalized. Every bit of time and money wasted on trying to stop consenting adults from being together how they mutually agree is time and money that isn’t being spent to help people who are actually being abused.

There is no good reason to deny consenting adults their rights to be together how they mutually agree.
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5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. of course adults aren’t children.

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  3. As long as adults don't misuse them, its okay. But I see it constantly overabused.

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  4. People default to calling incest abuse so quickly they don't even give themselves time to see it through. I little while back I met a wonderful young woman who was interested in having a sexual relationship with her father and wanted to talk to me about it (i'm a moth in an active incest family here so often give advice ). After explaining what she wanted i asked why she worried about pursuing it to which she replied "what about if it's abuse?". I thought she meant her abusing her dad but, no, She literally thought that wanting sexual relations with her dad and trying to make it happen meant she was getting abused somehow. After some basic reasoning on the topic i'm happy to say she realized how twisted her mind had become by this and shook off that awful stigma we face.

    This is what we're up against. Not logic. Just a trained knee-jerk response. Something you say and even feel in response to it without even thinking through the facts of it. There is hope though. So many feel and know it's wrong, they just need help realizing it.

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  5. Great comment and totally agree with you. Glad you managed to help this young woman and hope she got what she wanted with her dad. This is an issue for parents too and they worry that what they are feeling is wrong and doing something maybe abuse. This is something that is getting in the way of something natural and should be enjoyed not feared.

    ReplyDelete

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