A Meeting of Needs

While we more often hear from siblings, nephews/nieces/uncles/aunts, and adult sons/daughters and moms/dads, we do sometimes hear from adult grandchildren and grandparents. A man from India contacted me and we discussed his experiences with his grandmother. He first became sexually interested in his maternal grandmother when he was staying with his grandparents, and other relatives, during summer vacation when he was a preteen and she was in her early fifties, but that interest wouldn't be fulfilled until later, when he was an adult.

Read about it for yourself...

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Anonymous: Years later my Grandpa passed away. My parents tried their best at convincing Grandma to come and stay with us. It took a couple of years, before she eventually moved in with us. 

We had her move into our guest bedroom, which was right next to my room. This was when I was 21 and she must have been around 63 at that time. I still stayed with my parents at that time, I was in college and since my parents were working, we had the house to ourselves a lot. 

Whenever it was the two of us, I would get close to her and flirt with her. I would always say things like how beautiful she looked, and how much lucky Grandpa was to have her. She would just blush and giggle. I would do this thing whenever I got back from college, she would be in the kitchen standing and doing her chore, and I would sidle up to her and give her a back hug. I would then rest my head on her collarbone and then we would talk. I could see that she was definitely enjoying all this, as she never stopped me and even she reciprocated by hugging and kissing me more. We grew more closer than ever before.  

My parents had to attend a wedding and so we had the home to ourselves for the weekend. I wasn't planning on anything to happen. That night, after dinner I was helping her in doing the dishes. We were standing next to each other over the sink, and all of a sudden I just splashed some water on her. She was taken aback, she quickly poured some water in a bowl and threw it at me. We continued playing around until we were both drenched. We looked at each other and I could see in her eyes that she wasn't going to resist herself, so wasn't I but I was scared to make the first move. 

She pulled my head closer towards her and we made out. I had kissed before, but never before had it felt so special. I took her to my bed and we undressed each other. Following that we indulged in more foreplay before I was inside her. It was my first time and I was very nervous, but she calmed me down and talked me through it. And on that special night, I finally lost my virginity to my grandmother.
We continued this relationship of ours for two more years. I would sneak into her room, after my parents fell asleep, and be back to my bed before they woke up. 
I had gotten a job in another city, and I had to move out. A few months later, I got to know that she couldn't survive a fall in her bathroom and she died. At that point, it was tough for me to move on after that.
It has been ten years now. I am married and I have two kids of my own, but I still think about her and the wonderful time we had. 

FME: Tell us more about that first night.

We were pretty much occupied with making love. I was a virgin and Grandma had been without any action for more than 25 years, one could only imagine how desperate we would have been that night. It took place in my own room, and I had always dreamed about losing my virginity on my bed.

FME: Did you talk it, or was everything left unspoken?

We had our first talk in the morning. She opened up about her sex life. She said that she felt sexually unsatisfied in her marriage and had quite some fights with Grandpa about this. Divorce or separation is not common in Indian households. So she was stuck with Grandpa and she had to suppress her desires. 
When she moved in with us, she was initially shocked when she got to know that I was eyeing her. But she did give it a long thought. She said that society will never approve our relationship. But being me with me made her happy and she always thought of this as if it were fate giving her another chance. She thanked me for making her feel like a woman again. 
I would always remind her on how pretty she looked and used to buy her flowers and jewelry. Nobody had ever gotten her flowers, and she wasn't gifted with jewelry in a long time. 

She was swept away by me. She missed this feeling of dressing up sexy for someone. Since I was throwing myself at her, she would embrace me intimately and also cop a feel once in a while. She said she was at an age, where she felt unwanted and I was the only person in the whole wide world who made her feel not just wanted but loved as well.
She asked me if I was okay, and if I was not comfortable with it she wouldn't force me into anything. I told her I enjoyed being with her and I loved her very much. She didn't want anyone to know about us and made me take a vow on never to reveal this secret of ours.

FME: Did your parents ever indicate they suspected or knew?

My parents may not have had any idea about us. They felt weird when I used to hang out with Grandma more than I did with friends my age and when I bought her jewelry. We were vigilant when we were together.
There were a few close encounters though. Sometimes when I had overslept in her room, I would sneak out of the door after Grandma cleared the way. There was this one time, when I had forgot to lock the door and we were sleeping under the sheets naked. Since the door was open Mom walked right in and woke Grandma up and asked about where something was kept. Grandma mentioned she wasn't dressed and asked Mom to give her a couple of minutes and she would get that to her. Luckily, I was underneath the blanket completely and Mom didn't notice.
One day, Mom found Grandma's blouse on my bed. She asked me about this and Grandma saved me by saying that it was an old blouse of hers and she had given it to me for cleaning my computer screen, and Mom bought it.

FME: Do you regret it at all or have any negative feelings about it?

No, I have absolutely no regrets. In fact, I feel fortunate that it happened.

FME: Was there anything bad about it?
Perhaps the bad could be that both of us knew that our relationship was going to be short lived, when we entered into it. She did not want any kind of commitment from me and we just wanted to have fun. I felt sad when it actually wasn’t longer lasting.

FME: Have you had feelings for anyone else who is a close relative? For example, your mother?
Not really, I have no feelings towards any of my other relatives. Grandma stayed far away, and there were very few interactions with her. And it's possible that because of this there was no real social connection between Grandma and me while I was growing up, and so I think it was Genetic Sexual Attraction that I had towards her, when she came to live with us.

FME: Some would say your grandmother was a predator. What do you say to that?
Predator? No, not at all. It's easy to pass judgement, but one would have to think from our perspective on why it happened. As I mentioned she was sexually unsatisfied even in her marriage with Grandpa. It had been about 25 years since she got any. I had been unlucky in love, and a virgin. We were attracted to each other and both of us wanted it to happen. It was a conscious decision.

FME: Any advice for grandsons or grandmothers who are considering something like this?
It was a wonderful experience for both me and my Grandma. Don't care what the society thinks of you. If it makes you happy, go for it. You have one life, it's better to try now than to have any regrets later.

FME: Does your spouse know?
No. I really don't have any intention of telling her.

FME: You said you have kids. They must be young. But when they are old enough to have sex, what would you think if they had a sexual relationship with one of your parents or your spouse’s parent?
If it were to happen and they let me know about, I would totally support their decision.

FME: What do you miss the most about her? Anything else you would like to add?
One of the things that I miss the most, is the excitement and the thrill of getting caught. We had to behave whenever our parents were around. So when all of us sat down to watch TV, both of us would took one corner, while my parents took the other. I would slide my hand in her underskirt and fondle her buttocks. She would keep a pillow between us as a cover and slide her hand in my pants and gently stroke.
She looked terrific for her age. She had a voluptuous body type. She had thick, natural, and surprisingly no grey hair. She loved giving me oral sex. She liked getting kinky. 
Once the two of us went to a trip to Grandma's home. Through me, she quenched all her unfinished desires in her own house. This was the only trip the two of us had.
I just wish I had taken more photos of when we were together to capture all that wonderful memories we spent together.

*****

There you have it. They were both consenting adults who mutually agreed to have a romantic and erotic relationship. Why should that be criminalized, stigmatized, or discriminated against anywhere? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, both of them could have been criminally prosecuted for their love.

Whether it was Genetic Sexual Attraction or not, their feelings were valid and. as adults, it was their decision to make.
It isn't so rare. It is happening everywhere. It is happening somewhere not too far from where you are right now. There's no good reason to criminalize or discriminate against consanguinamorous relationships. We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a consanguineous and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.


If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you to Anonymous Grandson for doing this interview and sharing with us about your consanguinamorous intergenerational relationship!