Sunday, January 16, 2011

One Person's Polyamory

Margarita del Norte offers a description of polyamory in her her life.

Polyamory – or at least my version of it – is about getting and giving the most love consistent with our puny human limitations, and about respecting one’s beloveds, and not trying to own them, or require as proof of their love that they abstain from the fullness of what life has to offer.

Now, I get it that some people – maybe most people, if popular culture is any mirror – are happiest loving just one person and being loved by them. And good for them; I can’t help thinking that must be simpler, at least most of the time. (Certainly the whole safe sex thing gets a lot simpler.)

But I can certainly love more than one person at a time – love them deeply, solidly, all the way through. And that does not interfere with my ability to give the one I’m with my undivided attention.

I recommend reading her whole essay. There's a f-word in there, or two, so be warned if that bothers you. Another quote I wanted to highlight, to show the diversity found in polyamory...

I even have a lover with whom I do not have sex at all (not for decades now, anyway) but the intensity of our relationship, the depth of our love, would drive a jealous/possessive person totally nuts.

You might think that being bisexual and polyamorous would make life just one big orgy, but alas, that is not so (or not very often) because my peculiar orientation, and in particular my lack of interest in casual sex (that is, sex without emotional intimacy) disqualifies so many potential lovers, and also disqualifies me as far as most people are concerned.

The misconception that some people have of all poly people being sleep-with-anyone flakes doesn't hold up. Many poly people are thoughtful, disciplined people and they should not be denied their rights.
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