Tuesday, January 18, 2011

He Has a Girlfriend, But is Still Active With Sister, Mother

This guy is a senior at a university and has a girlfriend he wants to marry, but he’s been keeping a secret from her.

I am into incest. Not in a fetish or fantasy way, but as a lifestyle. My sister who is a year younger than me and I have been having sex since I was sixteen and she was fifteen. About a year after we started our mom caught us in the act. Instead of being upset mom said something about her always wanting this to happen, then she asked if she could join us.

He goes on to write that with varying frequency, he’s been having sex with his sister and sex with his mother ever since.

Should I tell my girlfriend. Should I invite her to participate. I love her, but I still have strong family love for both my mom and my sister. Think of it this way, my love for my mom and sis are probably the same as yours for your mom and the rest of your immediate family. The only difference is the I have sex with my family. I never thought of sex with mom or my sister as “cheating” on my girlfriend.

I know some people see it that way, but I think if his girlfriend believes they have agreed to strict monogamy or wants to know about any other current sex partners, then I think he is cheating on his girlfriend. He doesn’t make it clear his mother and sister know about his girlfriend, and so he could very well be cheating on them, as well. But I think the silence about that implies that his sister and mother are aware of his relationship with his girlfriend.

He certainly should not marry his girlfriend without her being aware of and agreeable to any ongoing sexual relationship with anyone else. That means he does have the option of ending the sex with his sister and mother, or telling his girlfriend what is going on. I’d say there is what would be a minority chance she will agree to marry him (or stay with him at all) if he tells her what has been going on. The chance is even smaller that she’d be agreeable to this continuing, and even smaller that she would join in. If she would join in (and his sister and mother would likewise be agreeable) than he’d be quite a lucky guy. It isn’t unheard of for someone to agree to share a person with two of the person’s relatives, though each situation is different.

I have to wonder if this would be an issue if we had full marriage equality. Perhaps the writer would marry his sister, his mother, or both?

John Z told the writer to stop having sex with his sister and mother…

Although I don’t personally know anybody who has had vaginal intercourse with their mothers, I do have two friends, each of whom had a sexual relationship with their sisters during high school. Both of these guys are in very secure marriages (both now over 30 years), have children, and have been very successful in life. I had no knowledge of their incestuous relationships until well after college when each of them told me about it (one, because I lusted after his sister in high school and he was aware of it… lucky guy!). So, it is isn’t impossible to end an incestuous relationship.

Of course it isn’t impossible. It isn’t necessary in many cases where others advise it, but it is possible.

While John Z was neutral about the consanguineous sex, the other two responses were from bigots.
— — —

1 comment:

  1. I didn't see this post until now but it seems to me that there's nothing wrong with this student's relationship with his mother and sister. He seems more than capable of loving each person differently and uniquely without detracting any love or attention from his girlfriend. The sad part is that society conditions everyone (and therefore likely his gf as well) to not be accepting of his family relations.

    For him, sex is just one way he expresses his affections for his mother and sister. His feelings for his girlfriend are obviously more romantic and therefore doesn't interfere in either direction. Hope things have worked out for him and if not, there are girls out there who will be understanding and supportive.


To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.