Equality, Life, Liberty, & Happiness

Today is Independence Day in the US, considered our country's birthday. Connected to the day is the Declaration of Independence, which touts equality and notes that we have the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

When the Declaration of Independence was written, equality was reserved for white, landowning, heterosexual, Christian males. Great strides have been made to extend equality to everyone else. As we know, equality just for some is not equality. In recent times, we have seen the death of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for military service and we saw the burials of Prop H8 of at least part of DOMA, followed by many pro-equality court rulings ever since, now made even better with the Supreme Court ruling for the nationwide limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry.

More people are coming out of the closet, and more allies are coming out in support of equality. More people are getting married, and now we have more polyamorous and polygamous people speaking up for their rights.

But we’re still on our journey. Equality, liberty, and the right to pursue happiness are, in many places in the US, and at the national government level, still denied to LGBT people. Even more so, these rights are denied to the polyamorous and the consanguinamorous.

Let’s keep moving forward so that an adult, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender, is free to pursue love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults, and not be denied liberty, employment, housing, or anything else.

This isn't just a philosophical thing or a principle. There are people, good people, who are hurt by ongoing discrimination, prejudice, and ignorance. There are people just being themselves, hurting nobody, and people who are in loving, healthy relationships who are being denied their rights, who have to hide who they are or their love for each other, who constantly endure people proclaiming that the love they share is sick or disgusting or makes them worthy of being subjected to abuse or death. There are teenagers who have simply behaved as normal teenagers with each other and haven't hurt anybody (including each other or themselves) who are being lied to and told that nobody else is like them and they are depraved. That's no way to have to live, it certainly isn't liberty, and it squashes the pursuit of happiness.

They need to know they are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with them.

We need independence from hate and ignorance. So let's keep evolving America, and encourage other countries to do the same.

We Get Angry Letters

In a recent entry we pointed out that adults having their basic rights isn't child abuse. To that, we got an angry comment. Like and comment with expletives, we won't be printing it unedited, but we wanted you to see the reasoning being used.

You are full of s---!! Adults are children... and at different stages of life they become more children like. Adults abuse other Adults and manipulate for their own good and purpose when the abuser has been abused as a child. When an adults has had trauma in their childhood life they don't have a clear mind nor scene of what is being spoon feed to them from the abuser, because the abuser is so good in doing the abuse as an adult to many other weak and traumatize adults. For the abusers benefit.  

But if both adults are with out trauma in childhood life and knows as a child that they are different and think differently and still in the adult life feel the same way then it should be okay. But that way only.

The entry was about how adults having their rights isn't abusing children.

All adults were children before. Does this comment mean they are now, as adults, incapable of consenting to their relationships because they used to be children? Or does that only apply to people who were traumatized as children, or does it also apply to traumatized adults? How much is too much?

Abuse, including "grooming" a minor, is not what we're talking about here. And if an adult is incapable of consenting to relationships because of trauma or any other condition, that's something else as well. On the other hand, it is cruel to automatically say that anyone who has been traumatized in the past can't consent to a relationship now. In general, adults should be free to have the relationships to which they mutually agree. There is no good reason to deny such basic rights.

Allies Are a Thing

One of the most ridiculous charges against people advocating for relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality, is that they themselves must be involved in a relationship that is being discriminated against, or is taboo or forbidden. It’s ridiculous for more than one reason.

First, it is trying to smear the person by accusing them of... having relationships with other consenting adults. Oh, what terrible people, right? Loving other people! How awful!

But it also denies that there are allies who show solidarity for the rights of others, thus revealing how selfish and self-centered the person making the “accusation” is. “Why else would you spend time on this?” they might ask, even as they themselves put energy into perpetuating prejudice.

There were many people of all races, not just of African ancestry, people who’d never been enslaved, who called for the abolition of slavery in the UK and US, and demanded civil rights subsequently. There were people who weren’t women who demanded women have their right to vote. 

Whether or not someone has done something themselves, such as being in a relationship that is being discriminated against, or was born a certain way or not is irrelevant to the facts. Denying consenting adult their basic rights is destructive and unjust. It didn't make Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s call for equality any less valid because he was an African-American, nor were the whites who marched with him African-Americans (clearly!) The message was important and just.

Nobody who argues for or against execution for people convicted of murder has been murdered or executed. Nobody who argues for or against euthanasia has been euthanized. Clearly, it is possible for a person to advocate against discrimination even if that person hasn’t been discriminated against. It's called... caring about people.


There are people being hurt by right now by discrimination, some of it still enshrined in law. This is why we care. This is why we advocate for the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those things without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. You don’t have to be suffering yourself to support the rights of all. You don’t have to be aware of the people in your life who are being hurt in order for you to fight for equality. And we guarantee there are people in your life who are being discriminated against because of their orientation or relationship situation. So, if the only way to get you to care is to tell you the discrimination hurts people you love, well, know that!
 
Be an ally, not a bigot.

Another Example of Bigotry and Prejudice in Action

The amount of animosity and ignorance faced by people who advocate that consanguinamorists also have their human rights is astounding. The irrational responses full or prejudice and bigotry don't bode well for humanity.

There are a couple of Reddit threads I found because they included links to this blog. I'm not going to link to the threads because the civil rights advocate has suffered enough abuse, and I don't want to enable more.

She kicked things off by explaining she (her family, really) has been subjected to false reports to child protective services alleging that she is sexually abusing her minor son. It is clear that these allegations are being made because she is part of the movement to legalize consanguinamory (actually, any relationships) between CONSENTING ADULTS. She went on to explain that she is not sexually interested in her son and doesn't see herself being sexual with him when he is an adult. She asked for advice on how to stop the false allegations.

Her thread has been locked by the moderator because rather than addressing her question, it became a discussion about consanguinamory, with some of the usual ignorance on display.

She added...

I know who a few of them are but one reported as completely anonymous and this person made up the most heinous allegations against me that caused the police to interrupt my son's school to discuss it with him while another teacher from school was present. They did not inform me until after they had spoken with him.

Displaying a complete lack of comprehension, one person responded...

Wait... so you back a group promoting incest, and people are lodging complaints with the authorities that you may be committing incest?

There were other comments that were even more clear about their ignorance.

Check Out the Consanguinamory Wiki

It's here.

Friend of FME Comes Out in Media

Although she wasn't really in the closet, a Friend of FME still would only make media appearances under some protection. She has now courageously appeared in the media again, this time as herself. Candice Fernandez and Hayley Richardson printed the story at thesun.co.uk...

A WOMAN has married her long-lost half-brother, despite it being illegal in the United States.

Debby Zutant, 50, from Key West, Florida, married husband Joe, 37, three years ago at a registry office after 15 years together.

I remember seeing the pictures. It was lovely.

The duo, who share the same father, claim they experienced Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) - a condition where people fall in love with their long-lost relatives.

GSA is happening more and more.

Debby was 35 and Joe was 23 when they first met in 2003, and Debby says it was “love at first sight”.

They had sex on their second date and moved in together within two weeks of knowing each other.

The pair hid their taboo relationship from their family for 10 years

It's too bad anyone would have to hide their love, or feel like they had to, but people often need to protect themselves and each other.

Why Polygyny Should Be Legalized

Polygyny should be legalized because the freedom of association, including the right to marry, is a basic human right and marriage equality means an adult having the freedom to marry any and all consenting adults.

An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Adults should be free to love each other how they mutually agree.

There is no good reason to deny the civil rights of polygynous people or deny their relationships equality. In the US, it is unconstitutional to deny people these rights.

Some people thrive the most within polygynous relationships. Polygyny isn't for everyone, but some people enjoy polygyny.

Polygyny means having more than one wife; as such, it is a form of polygamy (indeed, many people make the mistake of thinking the terms are synonymous). There are many places in the world where such relationships are traditional. There are relationships all over the world that function this way. Sometimes they are called "plural marriages" or simply marriage.

Fortunately, polygynous-style relationships aren't criminalized in general in most countries that don't require all relationships be functionally monogamous, even though it is illegal in places like the US and the UK to register as having more than one wife at the same time. It many places, it is legal to discriminate against people who are in polygynous relationships.

Lets make full marriage equality happen sooner rather than later, so that anyone who wants a polygynous relationship (or a polyandrous relationship, for that matter) will be truly free to have one, and marry if they want. And remember, gender equality is a necessary part of full marriage equality.

 Why Polyandry Should Be Legalized

Happy Father's Day

Sunday is Father's Day.

For all men raising or helping to raise a child, whether you are a biological father, presumed father, grandfather, stepfather, bonus father, adoptive father, foster father or any variation… Happy Father’s Day!

A special thanks to fathers who have supported and loved their children who are LGBTQ, polyamorous, consanguinamorous, or have otherwise faced persecution or oppression because of who they are or the person(s) they love.

Finally, a note of encouragement to all fathers who can’t legally marry the person(s) they love, but would if they could, or who face bullying due to love or who they are: We will win so that every adult can pursue love, sex, and marriage with any consenting adults.

Oh, and if you have an especially interesting Father's Day, or are planning something special, tell us about it by commenting below.

Progress for Polyamory in Canada

Laurie H. Pawlitza wrote at financialpost.com about a polyamorous triad involving one woman and two men who all wanted to be recognized as the parents to a child.

In the first decision of its kind in Canada, all three adult members of a polyamorous family have been recognized as parents of a child.

Two months ago, Justice Robert Fowler of the Newfoundland and Labrador Supreme Court (Family Division) in the case of Re C.C., decided the adults would be named as parents of the child born within their three-way relationship.

This is great news.

In the introduction to his decision, Justice Fowler described the unconventional St. John’s household:

“J.M. And J.E. are the two male partners in a polyamorous relationship with C.C., the mother of A., a child born of the three-way relationship in 2017. The relationship has been a stable one and has been ongoing since June 2015. None of the partners in this relationship is married and, while the identity of the mother is clear, the biological father of the child is unknown.”

The three adults brought a court proceeding asking to be recognized as the parents of A. after the Newfoundland Ministry of Service refused to designate them as parents, saying that the Vital Statistics Act allowed only two parents on the child’s birth certificate.

How about changing the paperwork?

Justice Fowler relied heavily on the 2007 decision of the Ontario Court of Appeal, A.(A.) v B.(B)., in which a lesbian couple sought to have both women legally recognized as the mothers of a child.

Once again, gays and lesbians have provided a way to others. Thank you!

Family law legislation across Canada now recognizes only one spouse’s obligation to the other. Current legislation will be difficult to apply in polyamorous relationships, especially if new partners become involved in the relationship and the relationship later breaks down.

How about adopting full marriage equality??? If three people can be legal parents to a child, why can't they be legal spouses to each other? This decision is good for the child. It would be even better if the child's parents could all be married if they want, instead of discriminated against.

Novels to Buy

UPDATE: Getting a lot of Game of Thrones traffic, so bumping this up. If you want some contemporary fiction with a realistic portrayal of sibling love, these novels provide that.

UPDATE: The two novels are now being offered as a package. "This set contains both books in The Forbidden Flower Series plus deleted chapters." Get the package for Kindle here.[Please note that "Love's Erotic Flower" was a short erotica story and was not essential to the overall timeline of the overall story.]

I’m not going to pretend I can give an unbiased review of Diane Rinella’s new book, Time’s Forbidden Flower, which completes the story began in Love’s Forbidden Flower, the novel I first blogged about here. After all, I have been in ongoing contact with Rinella and the plot of the works involves something near and dear to my heart. Also, I may have influenced this latest work. There’s a third work involved: "Love’s Erotic Flower," a short story which was released between the two novels and is a sizzling detailing of the sexual coupling (over multiple encounters) between the main characters.

One need not read the novels to enjoy "Erotic" nor read "Erotic" to enjoy the novels, but both novels should be read in sequence, and to only reason to avoid "Erotic" if you enjoy the first novel is if you hate to get aroused by fiction.

I can’t recommend all three works more strongly. I even like the cover art.

New Website From a Friend of FME

Here's a great new website about consanguinamory. Check it out and bookmark it!

There's No Place Like Home

An anonymous question was submitted to this blog's sister Tumblr about whether or not it is OK for a young adult desiring their first sexual experience to approach a parent. Click through to read the answer.