A Reluctant Mother Discovers the Joy of Son

People of a wide variety of backgrounds reach out to me. I keep their privacy and can often be of some help to them with my perspective.

Every once in a while, someone will send me hate mail.

Several months ago, someone sent me a private message:

I dont know who you are or where you get off but i want you to know you have ruined a family. My son recently came to me, showed me yourwebsite and blogs here and then told me he wants to have sex with me and that incest is ok!!!!

He’s a teenager!

What do you have to say for yourself?!

I didn’t respond because I figured a rational discussion wasn’t a possibility. I just hoped that the son wasn’t going to be subjected to shame and “therapy” for having normal feelings.

Two months passed.

I received an email with the subject line of “I’m sorry.”

It read…

Hello,

I wrote a message to you, accusing you of things that werent your fault and i am sorry. It was wrong of me.

Sincerely

I wrote back and expressed thanks for the apology, as that took much courage and character, and engaged her in a dialogue.

Below is some of what she’s told me so far over the course of our dialogue. This is all published with her permission, with spelling and grammar corrected and redactions for “language” and privacy. My comments are in bold.

The discussion is unavoidably explicit.

*****

He has been looking at Quora and your Full Marriage Equality page for some time.

It gave him the courage to tell me he was attracted to me.

I’ve been dealing with a lot since he told me and I blamed you. I am sorry.

I replied that it must have come as a shock.

Yes it was. I had never even imagined something like that happening and suddenly he comes out with it.

I was honestly disgusted and horrified at the time. It has taken a long time to really process the reality of it all.

The last couple of months have felt like the strangest and most stressful of my life.

I’ve been at a total loss a lot of the time just trying to figure out what the right thing to do was.

I didn't tell my anybody I know. I was scared and embarrassed and I didn’t know what would happen if anybody found out.

I’ve tried speaking to everyone online. People saying he’s  sick and I need to get him into therapy or I'm clearly a terrible mother for him feeling this or even people saying I should try and help him and maybe even give him relief.

I was able to calm down and gather my thoughts. He and I have talked a lot.

I think when he first told me, I assumed he was being irrational or was suffering some mental disorder.

We have talked a lot over the last couple of months and it has surprised me how calm amd rational he has been about it all.

She then told me it had happened.

We were alone and he kissed me out of nowhere. I pushed him away and he looked at me and just said “I need you to know.” 

He kissed me again and... I don’t know what happened to me.

I’ve never felt anything comparable.

I feel like I’m walking around in a dream, like I keep expecting to wake up. I cant believe what I’ve done.

I asked her what her concern was.

That I will never feel that kind of pleasure and satisfaction with anybody else.

It’s just so completely different. I haven't felt anything like it in my life. I don't think sex with anybody else will ever make me feel this good.

When we were kissing I felt like I’d given up. I was at a loss. I didn’t know what else to do and I don’t know, it felt, nice?!

I think part of me just gave up, I just decided “What the f—- why not, what else can I do?”

I felt him getting hard, his hands were all over me quickly.

We were kissing and then my top was open and he was kissing my breasts. He kept saying how beautiful I was, how much he loved me.

We went to his bedroom. He took my clothes off and I felt so vulnerable, so exposed. The way he looked at me, I can’t describe. I couldn't believe my own son was looking at me that way. I didn't know what to do.

He had me lay on the bed and got undressed really fast. He got on top of me, kissing me again. I just braced myself for what was happening and then he was inside me. And I just cried out. I couldn't believe it, I couldn’t believe what he was doing or what I was doing.

He thrust inside me a few times and he came.

I lay there for a few moments and he started again;  he was still hard.

I got on top and I rode him. I’d completely given up. I just wanted to feel good. The look on his face was unlike anything I've seen before. I’ve never seen him look like that before. And I came, I came so hard, harder than ever in my life.

I asked her how her son has been since, and she said they’re continuing to have sex.

He’s been happier than ever. Clearly his dream came true.

The pleasure I've felt with him has been the only peace I’ve had since that first time. I don't understand how I'm having the orgasms of my life with him.

I cant deny it. It’s the best sex of my life.

When he's inside me, I scream how glad I am. 

Our dialogue continued over the following days.

He [performed cunnilingus] for the first time today. I almost fainted.

I just, I don’t understand how it can feel so good.

I feel like a different person. I’ve never really enjoyed [fellatio] before, but with him, hearing him moan, feeling his hands in my hair, his d—- twitching in my mouth. It’s so incredibly satisfying.

I wasn't expecting it the first time he came in my mouth. I can’t understand it, I have never done it before, but I swallowed it all, even when he finished I was desperately trying to suck more.

Everything feels new with him everytime.

I’ve not really had a very adventurous sex life. I’ve never wanted one.

I asked her if she now finds his scent compelling.

Everything about him. I used to detest how his room smelled but now...

I’m on the pill but every time he [emits] inside me and he [emits] a lot, I think is this it [conception]?

I can’t understand it still. Everytime feels like the first time. When I’m naked for him, I feel so vulnerable and exposed. When I feel him inside me, my mind is screaming. His touch sets my skin on fire.

I’ve really never felt anything like it.

She has continued to be transformed.

Today, I [gave him fellatio]. He came in my mouth and after I swallowed it, I looked him in the eye and said, “Thank you, Baby.”

I’ve never said or done anything like that before. I feel like I’m changing and I don't recognize the woman in the mirror.

He plays with [her breasts] a lot. Kisses, licks, suckles, teases my nipples.

I admit it feels amazing, I love how it feels.

When we are alone, I feel, calm, content, desired, sexy, free and uninhibited. It’s like I’m able to detach from the world and focus on nothing but the pleasure.

I find myself craving him all the time.

When he’s out, I send him pictures of my body.

A few months ago, I was a perfectly normal mother. I talked with friends and kept a nice house and looked after my family.

A few weeks ago, my teenage son tells me hes sexually attracted to me. That incest isn’t a bad thing and is just a way of expressing love and experiencing intense pleasure. I was so disgusted I almost threw him out!

Now here I am today, taking naked photos of myself on his bed, begging him to come home as fast as he can so I can give him my body and pleasure him again. How desperately I need to feel him inside me again.

I just don’t understand how I got here.

I don’t have the words to really describe it; the emotion and the physical sensations.

I just want to pleasure him all the time. I want to look up into his eyes as I take him in my mouth. I want him to f—- me hard and spank me and make me his woman.

My son comes home to find me either naked or dressed sexy for him.

*****

So…

Her son had the courage to open up to her.

Then, after a couple of months of discussion, he had the courage to make love to her.

It opened up a whole new world to her, and to him. They both have been experiencing a most profound connection.

What she describes isn’t unique to her relationship. What she describes is something I’ve heard from many mothers and sons, and others who are enjoying consanguinamorous relationships.

It’s great for both of them she didn’t kick him out, or drag him to “therapy.”

Having to hide their double love for each other is the current cost of such an adventure. Although she no doubt knows other mothers who have experienced consanguinamory, the difficulty is that just about everyone is closeted, and so there are few spaces people can be where they can talk with someone about what they’re experiencing.

Nobody should have to hide their joy. Everyone should be able to discuss their consensual relationships with friends, counselors, or others. There’s needless stress because of bigotry.

If you have ever had similar experiences, or might want to, or maybe you know someone else who has, or you have questions, you’re welcome to email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or contact me on the Wire messaging app at fullmarriagequality or other ways.

You can also comment below, including anonymously.

Need permission to share love, sex, or play? Here it is:

https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2022/03/permission-granted.html

For parents considering consanguinamory:

https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2020/07/for-parents-considering-consanguinamory.html

Approaching Mom:

https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2024/02/approaching-mom.html

Read interviews about other relationships:

https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/case-studies.html