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Friday, February 1, 2013

The Costs of Love

When people find love with each other and are able to make it work, people outside of the relationship shouldn't be able to force themselves into it. Yet that is what happens when there are laws that criminalize or discriminate against consenting adults based on who they love. In addition, ignorant and prejudiced disapproval from family and people who had been thought of as friends can sting ever so sharply.

At the Kindred Spirits forum, people in consanguinamorous relationships talk about the lives and their loves. One of the topics that came up recently was "What have you lost?" What have these lovers lost as a result of their love? What has it cost them?

The person who started the discussion wrote...
For us, we lost our past - our parents, our hometown, our old friends. And we can't put many photos up and about.
The first response was...
i've lost exactly the same things you have, as for my parents, i don't care much at all. although i do miss my Dad at times, he was always good to me, my Mother hated me no matter what i did,, i also miss my home town and state very much, we gave up everything to stay in the north, im from the south and not a yank at heart... old friends ??? To many know us and have judged us, but i have made new friends that don't know about us and have accepted us as an unwed couple, so all in all life is what you make of it, and we have a very good life together...
Another response, from someone who had to move to protect her love...
We miss the mountains, the country lifestyle etc.
Neither [of us] regret losing our elder brother, we have the rest of the family that know and support us, and that means far more to us both. Sibling rivalry can certainly be quite a horrible thing to deal with, so we had to make the choice to either protect what we had, or lose our brother. I think we made the right choice though, we will soon be celebrating 25 years together.
And here's a response from someone brought together with her love through Genetic Sexual Attraction...

I moved up north to be with my brother, I lost some friends as I'm so far away. Apart from that, there was not much loss for us. I've made new friends, and my family, Well my foster family really didn't care for me, and well havn't had a relationship with any of them since my 20's. My blood family, I only reunited with them 2 years ago, and I couldn't care less i've that i've lost them.

The biggest loss, well is the freedom to show my love outside of our house that I have for my brother. Of course I could never do that from the start, so not a proper loss, although when I was married I could hold hands when out shopping. I'd love to be able to be free outside with my brother.

I do love my life though. 
It makes so much difference when family and friends are supportive, rather than bitter, jealous, or judgmental. These lovers should be free to be together, free to marry if they want, and not have to hide their love for each other.

If you are in a consanguinamorous relationship or know someone who is, you might want to join the discussions at Kindred Spirits forum. But be sure to immediately read and follow the rules, or they'll kick you right off!


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