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Monday, February 25, 2013

A Young Adult Love in Hiding

By my count, this is the nineteenth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to marry.

"Anonymous" is a young woman who has a consanguinamorous relationship with her brother, who is two years older.

Read this interview and ask yourself if there is one good reason their rights to love each other the way they want should be denied.

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

Anonymous: I'm a female college student living in the southern US. I'm a single college student with one brother, with whom I'm involved. I live with a female roommate.




FME: Describe your childhood and relationship with your brother prior to the relationship you have now.


We were always close, and most affectionate. We never went through any serious sibling rivalry and were always like friends to each other.


FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship?


It just sort of happened (laughs). Sounds lame but it's true. We had always been affectionate in an innocent way and I think we always had a hidden curiosity about moving it forward, but never did. We were chilling at home on the couch and we both had a little bit to drink, but were not drunk. I think we just got really comfortable with each other and lost sight of how far things were going. It's kind of blurry where the line got crossed. At one point we were curled up together on the couch, which we'd done before and it's been totally innocent. Our heads had been leaning together and we both turned at almost the same moment. I can't remember who kissed who first but it happened. There was no intercourse, but things were a bit awkward for the next few days.


FME: Can you describe your feelings during that?

It was confusing. It took a while to register what was happening, and when it did I found I was so turned on I didn't want to stop, but I knew I should have. I was a bit conflicted, but we couldn't pull away.


FME: Some people say sibling eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many siblings it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you?


Not really kinky, but there is the "taboo" aspect that sometimes turns us on, but as time goes on that "taboo" has faded and it feels normal.


FME: Describe your relationship now. Do you see each other as siblings or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point? Are you siblings-with-benefits, girlfriend/boyfriend, soulmates, what?


Its been a couple years, and it's hard to say. We know we cant openly be in a relationship and we don't want to hurt our family. I guess you could say siblings with benefits, but then our relationship has presented problems when seeing other people so its a bit unclear.


FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature/history of your relationship?

No. I have one friend who knows and shes understanding but even then I'm paranoid about her knowing.


FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think siblings  have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?


The hiding and lack of acceptance is the hardest thing. I think we have a closer emotional bond than unrelated lovers have.


FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is a brother preying on a sister (and that you can’t really consent)?


It many cases it is, but you have to accept that we are both legally adults and respect and love each other too much as siblings to "prey" on each other.


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you?

That's hard to say, I'd like to say yes, but even then marriage is a huge step regardless of the type of relationship


FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing feelings for a sibling? What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that siblings they know are having these feelings for each other?

It's OK, you are normal and there is nothing wrong with your feelings. Be accepting and willing to listen. But never let romantic love cloud your family bonds.

   
FME: Anything else you want to add?


If this helps anyone, I am very glad!


*****


There you have it. Two consenting adults who are still young, but should be free to pursue their relationship, whatever form it will take.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later, so that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage any and all consenting adults. Real people are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Anonymous and her brother for sharing their situation with us.
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7 comments:

  1. Keith, you know I'm a supporter, but... Sources?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was approached for this interview at Kindred Spirits forum.

      Delete
    2. That place is so awesome. You do a great service for those feeling unsure about themselves in this stuff, Keith. Love your work.

      Delete
    3. Always good to hear from you, Snackers. This blog exists to help people who have few places to find it. Hopefully, they'll soon have more.

      Delete
  2. This is a shameful union. They felt guilty at first because what they did was wrong but with more frequent practices they felt normal. That is the same with armed robbers, terrorist and abusers. I hope one day you would not have to advocate for all crimes in the name of equality. Then the world would be a terrible place for everybody

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous, the only thing shameful is someone who disparages love between consenting adults. How can you compare sex to armed robbery, terrorism, and abuse. Are you saying YOUR sex life is like that?

      Delete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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