Monday, February 11, 2013

The Wedding They Can't Have Yet

A response recently posted at Kindred Spirits is more demonstration of what I blogged earlier in this entry about the costs of love and this one about grown women being denied the freedom to marry the person they love.

I'm only aware of one country that might let the woman who wrote this (below) marry the person she loves, because the person she is in love with is her half-brother (they were raised apart). Legalization, however, does not automatically remove all of the hatred they'd face. So, she laments something they have given up because of their love...

Marriage. Always the bridesmaid never the bride.

Hurts when you watch all your childhood friends go through it while you can't even tell anyone how in love you really are.

Being the man I never thought he would be bothered by it. He always said, we don't need it.

But after a particular argument we had during the last weeks, he laid down on the bed and took me in his arms. We laid back silently for a while, when he mentioned marriage. Said how much he wishes he could marry me.

To have a wedding cake like others, a dress I would love. I joked that all he wants is to eat a giant chocolate cake, but I know he was being serious.

It feels annoying when I see all those couples getting married without love, starting arguments out of the most insignificant details at the wedding. When given the half hour we just laid there, we put together the whole wedding. And surprise surprise. He wanted the EXACT same things I did. Down to the roses, music, and my wedding dress. Who would have thought a guy can care about all this? He actually confessed imagining me as a bride when he would see dresses.

All we can do is wear symbolic rings. He wears one from me, I from him, and we never take it off. The symbol of our love and commitment, the most we can get..

But marrying for money is legal. Hear, hear! 

Wouldn't it be nice if they could publicly declare their love for each other, get legally married, and have this celebration, without any controversy? This is why we need full marriage equality sooner rather than later, and we need the support of family and friends.

As I always remind my readers, if you want to join Kindred Spirits (it's free), which is NOT just for siblings but is a place to talk about any kind of consanguinamorous relationship, be sure to read and immediately follow all of the rules, or they will kick you right out.
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  1. It’s sad that basic human rights have remained oppressed for so long, but if marriage is so important for this couple... why don’t they move to another country?

    1. Moving is not always so easy for some people, for any number of reasons. There's also the issue of being shunned by the rest of the family. People shouldn't have to move to an unfamiliar country just to have their basic rights, but you're right in the sense that I encourage people to move to the more accepting places if at all possible.

    2. Truthfully, one should really stay at home and fight (although one might still be able to do that if they allow you to vote), however, you are definitely right moving might not be easy—I’m an expatriate, so I often find it difficult to empathise for those who don’t wish to move.

      Have you suggested the possibility to the couple? I personally enjoyed living in the Netherlands...


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