Thursday, February 7, 2013

Don't Be a Rat

I'm still suspended from participating at a certain Big Internet Portal “question and answer” forum, but I can still read the questions and answers there. Recently, someone going by the name me. asked the following...

Incest, should something be done?
My ex in committing incest. No one believes it happening except one family member who has chosen to stay silent about it. My ex is my best friend and lover. Not only am I torn by the incest part and whether I should try harder to stop it,(I feel that if it were my children I would want to do something to stop it) but obviously I am now in a situation where I have to make a decision whether or not to give up my ex because he has stated that he has no intention of stopping the behavior. They are a bit obsessed with each other and convinced they are in love. I love him a lot. He says he loves me as well. He is pretty much the most important person in my life and he tells me that she and I are the most important people in his. The question isn't about whether I care for him or vice versa but I am sickened by what he is doing and on top of everything now I am being asked to share him, with his sister of all people. Also, I am aware that if I try to stop the relationship by proving that it is happening, I will probably lose him as well. I don't know if I should just walk away or if I should try to fight for him, his mental health and his future.

This person added...
I guess I should add we are all adults but she is pretty young on the adult scale and quite a few years younger than him. Also, they did not grow up together and in fact only met within the last year.
This sounds like the ex and his sister could be experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction. It also sounds like the person asking the question has a friends-with-benefits arrangement with him. Although some places still have laws against consenting adults who are full or half siblings having sex, such laws are unjust and should not be used as a tool of revenge or manipulation. The question-asker is aware of the situation. Is the sister? I'm all for polyamory if that is what everyone involved agrees to. Most poly people would say the informed consent of everyone involved is necessary for it to be considered polyamory rather than cheating. I do believe that GSA can prompt people who otherwise wouldn't cheat to do so. That is not to excuse cheating, but rather to help make a distinction between someone who will generally cheat and someone who won't.

If the asker does not want to continue with the situation, the best option is to set boundaries with him, which may have to include dropping contact with him entirely. Trying to pry apart lovers, especially lovers drawn together by GSA, even using the force of law, will not bring satisfactory results. There is no good reason why consenting adults shouldn't be free to share sex.

There were a couple of good answers given.


Great post on this and I commend you for opening up about this issue .

You are doing what most folks do and that is evaluating the Competition and seeking to be victorious in your desire to own the man of your dreams . This is only natural that you want him for yourself and want to kept him in your relationship which you have a vested interest .

But , you want to own him and not love him .
When you love a person you love them as is , where is , for who they are , not who you want them to be . You are being selfish and controlling . Your also very judgmental .

This is who he is . Consensual sex is when people have sex together of their own free will.
He had sex with you and you have no problem with it or him doing it , so get off your high horse and have a reality check .

As far as his partner being his sister , so what ? Love and sex happen when it happens
to ever it happens too !! WE cannot know whom or why we fall in love , it just occurs .
Incest is the hottest most erotic sex on the planet when it's consensual , and there is a strong bond between them . It is worth it, to do it . Now , does that mean that you are out of the picture ? Well , thats up to you and them . If you want him that badly maybe you should consider sharing him and offer to be part of their relationship as a willing sex partner , if they will allow you to join them . If they are willing to share , shouldn't you too ?

Now , if you can tell me or anyone else , that you have never been aroused by a family member such as a brother , mom , dad , sister , aunt , uncle , cousin , after seeing them naked or partially dressed , and never masturbated thinking about them having sex with you , then I would say you are a rare person . But all of us have been turned on somewhere along the way by seeing a family member in a sexual way . It's normal not abnormal. . Now if we act on that arousal and satisfy our desires , we have very intense, great sex . If we get caught doing it , everyone goes nuts and cries pervert . But we are lying about it not being real and a wonderful experience .

If you love him , accept him .
If not , just go away and let him live in peace .
He has found his happiness , don't kill it for him just so you can make your point .
Mr. K...
If you don't want to be involved, it's your right. Also, if the are both responsible, consenting adults, I think you should just leave them alone. However, if you sincerely feel that someone is directly getting hurt, I think you should contact a rape/incest hotline or a crisis service in your area.
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